How long makes it a long term relationship?

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How long makes it a long term relationship?

wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
I'm curious as to what you all consider to be a long-term relationship. Just a few months? 6 months or longer? A year or longer?
10/16/2011
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Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by wrecklesswords
I'm curious as to what you all consider to be a long-term relationship. Just a few months? 6 months or longer? A year or longer?
I don't really go into a relationship thinking of it as going to be short term. I plan on it for the long haul. Of course, breakups can happen. But like with my current, we agreed we didn't want to just fool around or stay together a few weeks/months and throw it away, we wanted something that would last. So, to me, long term doesn't mean necessarily how long we've already been together, rather the intention of being together forever.

A long relationship, isn't really defined by length of current relationships either, in my opinion. In a way, a few months can be a long time, but compared to other relationships, it may not be. But every day you're still together and happy is an accomplishment. We celebrate each month we are together, doing a nice dinner and everything, just to show that we appreciate having had another month spent with one another.

I have a friend who constantly says things like "when you're married as long as I have been then you can say you know what it's like to REALLY know someone"...she's been married for 7 years. My parents, married for 51 in a few months, still don't know each other very well. So length of time, to me, depends on the couple and how you view it. And I know my guy who I've known for just over a year, better than she knows her husband and he knows her, too. So, again, all about the couple.
10/16/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by wrecklesswords
I'm curious as to what you all consider to be a long-term relationship. Just a few months? 6 months or longer? A year or longer?
For me it's long term when you pass the five year mark or you can no onger imagine your life without the other person or persons. It happens for me when I get that drive to work on the relationship regardless of the amount of elbow grease it might take.
10/16/2011
SexyStuff SexyStuff
Anything over a year.
10/17/2011
wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
I think anything over a year is long-term as well. I'm kind of in that limbo-land, lol. 8 months but still going strong. I am in this one for the long haul, and it's the first one I've ever been serious about, too.

I was really just curious what most people think is long term.
10/17/2011
Destri Destri
I have to be honest, I would think it would take at LEAST 5 years to be considered long-term. But then again, I am old and one year seems like a very short time to me anymore.
10/17/2011
toxie m toxie m
Quote:
Originally posted by Destri
I have to be honest, I would think it would take at LEAST 5 years to be considered long-term. But then again, I am old and one year seems like a very short time to me anymore.
I think this is a good point - "longterm" will differ depending on what age bracket you're looking at. A year isn't much when you're older, but it's a lifetime when you're a teenager. For me, it's sort of an outlook thing at the one year stage. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now, and I consider it longterm in part because we're planning for it to be longterm. More objectively, I think anything over three years is longterm (I'm sure that number will grow as I get older )
10/17/2011
Ansley Ansley
I feel a longterm relationship is any relationship that has lasted more than five years. The first five years of my relationship were hell on wheels and I don't even really consider us as "together and in it for the long haul" until our eighth year. Of course, we're special snowflakes and had a few things standing in our way and that may not apply to everyone.

But, a year or two or three is a drop in the bucket compared to the fifteen years I've spent with my husband and growing our relationship. And I'm sure when we hit the thirty-year mark, those fifteen years will seem like a drop in the bucket comparatively speaking.

I never realized how obnoxious teenagers are with the "OMG does he love me, will he be there forever, will he leave me...will he love me forever?!" drama until I hit 28. It's amazing how a few years changed my outlook on things.
10/17/2011
wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by Destri
I have to be honest, I would think it would take at LEAST 5 years to be considered long-term. But then again, I am old and one year seems like a very short time to me anymore.
I'd actually have to agree with you. I'm only 23, so I'm still young, however, I do think that a year is a shorter-term relationship. But at the same time, I've seen people just zip right through things in just a few months, so among the people I have known in the past, something over about 6 months is nearly a miracle.
10/17/2011
Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
Honestly, I've never been in any other relationship, so I can't really judge that too well. Probably like 6 months or so. We've been together a year and a month.
10/19/2011
SexyTabby SexyTabby
I should think long term means years but I guess it's all how you look at life. Hubby and I have been together over 20 years so...it's kinda like forever at times and at other times we talk about the years to come like an adventure we've only just begun.
10/19/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
For teenagers, anything more than a year would be "long term." When you are older, "long term" relationships are longer. I'd say 3 to 5 years give or take. I had a professor in college who said "You can't get to know someone romantically in less than three years." I have always taken that to heart. (And, then I dated him.. for much less than three years.

Hmmm, does that mean when I was a teenager, and I was dating My Man (who is older) for a year, it was "long term" for me, but not for him? I've never thought of it that way.
10/19/2011
Girly Girl Girly Girl
a year or longer
10/19/2011
wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
For teenagers, anything more than a year would be "long term." When you are older, "long term" relationships are longer. I'd say 3 to 5 years give or take. I had a professor in college who said "You can't get to know ...
Hmm, what your professor said can actually be really true.

The other night, in fact, my girlfriend said she was afraid that her feelings for me hadn't progressed to the level that mine are at. I told her that it was one because I'm more open with my romantic feelings than she is and I'm okay with her being slower at it because I know she cares for me. She doesn't have to say it because I can feel it in other ways, like how she looks at me, and how even though she hates it when people cry, she immediately comes to my "rescue" when I start crying. I told her that sometimes it just takes time and that it doesn't hurt me at all.
10/19/2011
Vanille Vanille
Teenagers and their OMG WE'RE SO IN LOVE! after a week. -gag-

I would have to agree with the 3-5 year range.
10/19/2011
wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by Vanille
Teenagers and their OMG WE'RE SO IN LOVE! after a week. -gag-

I would have to agree with the 3-5 year range.
oh dear lord, tell me about it!

I didn't ever really get into relationships in high school but I watched so many of my friends get with people and say they were in love after a week or two or even after a few days. I wanted to smack all of them.
10/19/2011
jessi2 jessi2
I guess it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. I am engaged to my partner and she and I have been together for a year and a half. We grew close very early on in our relationship, and we knew each other for a while before we dated. It seems to me that in my lesbian relationships, there is a deeper understanding of each other, and we are able to bond on a different level than with heterosexual relationships. Maybe it I feel that way because I was never meant to be with a guy.

There is a term for lesbians, UHauling. It means that we do everything very quickly without thinking much about it. And it is true. We moved in together after only a few months of dating, because we were spending every night at each others apartment anyway. Now we are both on the lease together. Fully committed and completely happy and in love!
10/20/2011
T&A1987 T&A1987
two steps.

1. time a person's been together. I'd say at last a year, maybe longer.
2. Desire to be with that person. A person who's been with their partner for years, but spends every moment wanting to leave isn't in a relationship, they're in a prison of the mind.
11/07/2011
wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by T&A1987
two steps.

1. time a person's been together. I'd say at last a year, maybe longer.
2. Desire to be with that person. A person who's been with their partner for years, but spends every moment wanting to leave isn't in a ...
That's very true about number two!
11/08/2011
Raizer911 Raizer911
At least a year but really I guess it depends how attached you are to the person and how committed you are to a future together.
05/19/2012
Geogeo Geogeo
Over a year....
05/19/2012
thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
Quote:
Originally posted by toxie m
I think this is a good point - "longterm" will differ depending on what age bracket you're looking at. A year isn't much when you're older, but it's a lifetime when you're a teenager. For me, it's sort of an outlook ...
Well said! I feel the same - I had a relationship in high school that lasted over three years, and people would refer to us jokingly as "married," etc. We were one of the longest established relationships in school, and I definitely thought of it as long term. My current relationship is still less than a year old, but I still think of it as long term because of our intent.
However, I realize that I'm a college student and my perspective on all of this may shift dramatically over time.
05/20/2012
wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by thisisadeletedaccount
Well said! I feel the same - I had a relationship in high school that lasted over three years, and people would refer to us jokingly as "married," etc. We were one of the longest established relationships in school, and I definitely thought ...
I've definitely realized that my perspective on this as changed a lot.

I never had any relationships in high school, not really. None that lasted more than a few months. But I do remember then thinking of the friends I had that were with the same person all throughout high school and even after thinking that was so long.

But now, I'm almost 24 and my girlfriend and I have been together for just over a year. At some times it feels like it's been a long time, but most days I sit back and think "wow, so much has happened and this year has just flown by and we still have SO MUCH that we can learn about each other."

What makes me the happiest is the fact that we both intend on staying together for as long as absolutely possible.
05/20/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
I'd say 3 to 4 months is when it could be considered that, though it also depends on how often you've seen eachother.
05/20/2012
Total posts: 24
Unique posters: 18