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I don't mean that my breasts are off limits. He can touch my breasts any time he likes. I even like them to be grabbed and slapped in a kinky manner. But my nipples themselves are very sensitive to the point of pain. I wish it felt good to have
I don't mean that my breasts are off limits. He can touch my breasts any time he likes. I even like them to be grabbed and slapped in a kinky manner. But my nipples themselves are very sensitive to the point of pain. I wish it felt good to have them sucked because then it would be great to have him suck them whenever. But it doesn't feel good. He can even go as far as licking my nipples, but to latch on and suck like a baby....no. I'm actually dreading breast-feeding when we have a baby, but I believe in its importance so I'll just have to grin and bear it. Or see if a pump is less uncomfortable.
So it's normal for men to be useless for penetration after orgasm...I'm sorry, I really didn't know. My first partner must have been an anomaly because he literally could go for an hour and then keep his erection afterwards. I think our record was 4 times in one session. Ok, little bit of reminiscing there.. I believe it's probably a skill they can learn, but I seriously doubt my husband would invest the time and effort to do so.
That's exactly what I told him--if he finishes before me he can use his fingers/tongue/toys... .LOTS of options. His response? Silence.
Hon, men are not "useless after orgasm." That just him being selfish. After orgasm, a man's hands, mouth and access to toys STILL work!
When My Man and I have sex, we usually make sure I come first (even if it takes an hour.) BUT, if I don't, he knows he needs step up after HE comes, start giving me head and using our toys so I
can get where I'll be satisfied!
Sex isn't "over" because the man has an orgasm
. He still has two good hands and his mouth, and he can help with toys. His saying he can't do anything because he can't have an erection again for 24 hours is silly, not to mention childish and immature
. He CAN do a lot. Maybe not get an other erection (although some men can, my husband can sometimes get two erections in one session and he's in his 50s) but he CAN do other things so you will be satisfied.
If he's not willing to do that..... ?????
As for breastfeeding, it feels NOTHING
like a horny man going to town on your nipples. When you have a child you KNOW it's for the best of the child to breastfeed directly from the breast (pumping alone rarely ever works, the breasts don't respond to 100% pumping, most women NEED the baby nursing to keep a milk supply.) Also, it feels TOTALLY different than a man's sexual behavior.
Don't give up on the best thing you can do for your baby in the early years because your husband is forcing you to endure a sexual
attack you don't want. The two things have NOTHING in common. I guarantee it. I've worked with hundreds of women who don't like nipple stim during sex, who have perfectly workable breastfeeding situations.
There's a different between a man who wants
something that you hate to do, and a baby who needs
something that feels totally different. Don't compare the two.
But, you do need to talk to that husband of yours, less selfishness on his part is in order. He won't change on his own. Why should he? He needs to know you are serious about the FACT that YOUR sexual pleasure is just as important than his
It saddens me that guilt puts women in situations like this. Sex is GOOD. A piece of paper and somebody saying words over you don't guarantee sex will be good, especially if you didn't "test the waters" first. You are right, a marriage with bad sex is not going to be satisfying. WHY put up with that because of what? I don't even know.
It's frustrating the hell out of me, Bgirl. (I refuse to call you by his
name, sweetie, I want to talk to you, not him.) Because I KNOW you're a good person. Don't let guilt get the better of you. It doesn't matter
who has sex with who or under what name. Guilt is just something some people use to try to control women's sexuality and it's used because those who enforce it are scared to death of the power of a sexually strong woman! So, they tell her bullshit, like it's "wrong" to make love to someone you love, then women get married quickly, thinking "at least the guilt will be gone" then they are beset with a who new set of WORSE problems. Right?
When someone loves you, they listen. Don't take your sex life only partly satisfying. If he choose
to he could act better, WHY does he choose
to be so uncaring of what you NEED? Why do you think he isn't listening? Does he think you don't have a choice? If he does, why does he think this way? Why is his choice
to act as if only HIS sexuality matters? WHY does he think this way? (I can't answer that, but you may be able to.)
Honey, girl, you need to take some charge. You need to put your foot down, and unless you want to yearn and be unhappy the rest of your life
you may need to do more than that.
I care about you, and I continue to be worried about you. PLEASE, do what you can to help the relationship, but YOU can only do so much. If he refuses to listen or simply doesn't care enough to listen to what you NEED in bed, why does he do this?