How would you feel if your sibling wanted your partner?

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How would you feel if your sibling wanted your partner?

K101 K101
When I say how would you feel if your sibling wanted your partner, I don't mean they may be attracted to your partner or make dirty jokes about them. I mean truly wanted them. What if your sibling saw how nice your partner treated you and decided they wanted to be treated that way... by your partner?

Have any of you ever had any kind of situation like this? I'd really like to hear how you handled it.

Also, would you feel upset, betrayed, etc. if youd had planned a really nice gift for YOUR partner and suddenly your sibling (who your partner never speaks to and has no kind of "bond" with) decides they are going to go out and buy this VERY nice, costly gift for your partner even though YOU had planned and saved for it.

Would you feel like the sibling was almost trying to be your partner's partner. Lol (Make sense?) I guess I really don't have to go into details about the issue at hand as it's pretty obvious. I think it's kind of hurtful to just rip that away when your sibling planned and saved and suddenly you want to purchase this intimate gift for them?

If you have similar stories and would be kind enough to share how you handled it, I'd like that. Also, feel free to talk about HOW you wuold handle it if you were in the situation.
12/11/2011
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K101 K101
I feel like a sibling who doesn't ever interact with my partner shouldn't want so badly to purchase the somewhat intimate and costly item that I plan for months to get him. It just seems rude and when there have been past incidents where a sibling has showed the wrong kind of attention, maybe giving such a dramatic gift isn't the best. To be honest, it's kind of hurtful! Especially if the sibling hasn't ever bought gifts for the person before she started showing an interest in them.


I just think it's distasteful.
12/11/2011
Chilipepper Chilipepper
My sibling is male and straight. Wouldn't work that way.

However, I did have 'friends' who would do that sort of thing to each other. I never went through it myself, as I never dated much in high school (the guys were shallow right up front instead of hiding it). I was tempted a couple of time, simply because I had a crush on the guy to begin with and him being a sweetheart to the girl compounded it, but I never went through with it. Too damn noble, I guess.

If this isn't a hypothetical question, then may I ask if your sister being a brat, Kendra? What does your husband think of the whole thing?
12/11/2011
AndroAngel AndroAngel
I've never had it happen with a sibling, I haven't seen my older sister in well over ten years, and don't even know where she is. But put in that situation, I'd let them know their behavior was absolutely not acceptable, and they would henceforth not be welcome in my home.
12/11/2011
(k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
I've never had that happen, thankfully... But it is a fear of mine, not that my sister will suddenly want my partner, but that my partner will suddenly want my sister. I'm not sure how I would react. I'm sure it would be absolutely heartbreaking, especially after so many years of feeling like she is the "better" one.
12/11/2011
Drakoni Drakoni
Quote:
Originally posted by K101
When I say how would you feel if your sibling wanted your partner, I don't mean they may be attracted to your partner or make dirty jokes about them. I mean truly wanted them. What if your sibling saw how nice your partner treated you and decided ...
It almost seems like two different issues. The gift could be unrelated to any feelings happening between you sibling and your partner. It could be more of a sibling rivalry, jealousy thing, or your sibling is just trying to get back at you for something...that's if they already knew you were getting the item. If they didn't know, it could be that they wanted to do something nice for your partner. It all really depends on the exact situation and what the item is.

If my sister was after my mate...I'd first be very surprised because she's happily married with kids. If it was true, I'd be very territorial and lay down the law.
12/11/2011
Cherrylane Cherrylane
Quote:
Originally posted by K101
When I say how would you feel if your sibling wanted your partner, I don't mean they may be attracted to your partner or make dirty jokes about them. I mean truly wanted them. What if your sibling saw how nice your partner treated you and decided ...
I would tell the sibling to stop being creepy and back the f off lol. "You are over the line."
12/11/2011
mandaj mandaj
I wouldnt be nice at all....i would more than likely go off and loose contact b4 something happens and more drama starts. I mean to think how dar them to even do tht!!! It makes me sick
12/11/2011
js250 js250
I would feel very betrayed and hurt! Does the partner know about his? How does he feel? How close are the siblings and what happened to change her feelings toward you partner?

It sounds like oh difficult but necessary talk is in order! Between the siblings. Start distancing your relationship with your partner from her, stop confiding in her and tell her to grow up and attach herself to someone who would care for her. Not picking up your partner, but finding her own.
12/11/2011
Vanille Vanille
My older brother is married and has a son. Also my girlfriend is very much gay, I don't think he'd get very far. ;D
12/11/2011
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
I understand your frustration. I would definetly talk to your sister, and your partner as well. She may be trying to be nice and not really understand how it may affect you. Her behavior is over stepping boundaries which is ridiculous and inconsiderate.

If my sister pulled the same stunt, I would be very upset with her. However, our tastes in men differ greatly so I'm not too worried about her attempting to woo my partners anytime soon.

good luck!
12/11/2011
The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary
Quote:
Originally posted by K101
When I say how would you feel if your sibling wanted your partner, I don't mean they may be attracted to your partner or make dirty jokes about them. I mean truly wanted them. What if your sibling saw how nice your partner treated you and decided ...
That would be a little weird considering I only have a sister. Gotta say I don't think id be do happy about that situation.
12/11/2011
Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
She is stepping WAY over her boundaries here. Yes, I would feel hurt and betrayed if my sister or friend did this to me, and I would NEVER consider doing this to a sister or to a friend. You need to firmly voice your feelings on this and clearly draw the boundaries here. It is NOT appropriate for your sister to buy your spouse/lover/boyfriend an intimate gift PERIOD, let alone a specific and special gift that she knows you have saved to purchase for him. You need to communicate with her and get her to honestly examine what she is trying to do here. The best way to do this is to go to counseling together or to have a neutral third party present who can walk you through this to calmly discuss feelings and motives. If she doesn't care to do that, then the healthiest thing for you to do right now (at least for the short term) is to cut off communication with her for the time being. I would also discuss this with your partner and let him know what your sister had wanted to do (you don't have to tell him what the gift idea was--only that it was an intimate item that you had planned to give him yourself). He needs to know that this awkward dynamic is unfolding, and he should be given the opportunity to put his own two cents in here. You don't want a jealous rift to occur, and discussing this honestly is the best way to avoid that from happening.

Good luck, hon.
12/11/2011
Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
Quote:
Originally posted by K101
I feel like a sibling who doesn't ever interact with my partner shouldn't want so badly to purchase the somewhat intimate and costly item that I plan for months to get him. It just seems rude and when there have been past incidents where a ...
Well, "distasteful" ; is an accurate, though understated, description for this scenario. I'm sorry this is happening to you, hon. This must be very disorienting and confusing to deal with, to say the least!

I think you'll feel better once you've talked with your partner and let him know what's going on though.
12/11/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by K101
When I say how would you feel if your sibling wanted your partner, I don't mean they may be attracted to your partner or make dirty jokes about them. I mean truly wanted them. What if your sibling saw how nice your partner treated you and decided ...
I have a sibling who decided just this and went so far as to cheat continuously with my partner, undermine me with my parents and generally do everything she could think of to "win" him away. When she couldn't she even went so far as to make nasty comments about his genitals and other stuff....all the while sending him invitations to have sex again and movies of herself having sex.

I wish she had been as subtle as your sibling! I love my sister and cannot understand what would motivate this behavior but I know it has to do with our completely dysfunctional childhood and her being a spoiled entitled brat. Partially that is my fault (no I'm not taking responsibility for her behavior but I did lead her to believe she could just take what she wanted from me without repercussions BECAUSE of the actions of our parents) but in the end I had to let her take the consequences of her actions the same way I made him do the same. It's a complicated mess but then again I love 'em both which is what hurts so bad.

My only advice is to be openly confrontational about the behavior you are seeing and don't let it slide regardless of what other people say. I let it slide and it went all Jerry Springer on me!
12/11/2011
Total posts: 15
Unique posters: 13