I feel like it's definitely cheating because the other person doesn't have knowledge of it, and the action is purposefully kept a secret. If you have to keep something a secret then there's something wrong about what you're doing..unless its a secret present, those are great
Is it cheating when...
07/17/2013
Quote:
It's not a matter of "if you ask, it must be". It's a matter of "if you are questioning, something isn't right". I would be angry at my LDR SO going to strip clubs, but it's not cheating. If he went and hid it, I would consider that lying by omission, which would quickly end the relationship.
Originally posted by
PropertyOfPotter
I always see threads that start off with that question and I always tell myself that you have to ask, than it probably is. But we had some friends over last night and something was discussed and I honestly wasn't sure.
If you're in a ... more
If you're in a ... more
I always see threads that start off with that question and I always tell myself that you have to ask, than it probably is. But we had some friends over last night and something was discussed and I honestly wasn't sure.
If you're in a long term relationship, and your partner is uncomfortable with you going to the strip club, is it cheating if you go on a regular basis and hide it from her? less
If you're in a long term relationship, and your partner is uncomfortable with you going to the strip club, is it cheating if you go on a regular basis and hide it from her? less
07/19/2013
Quote:
If you doing more then just looking at the strippers then it could move from not good but not cheating into yes it is cheating. Otherwise even though she doesn't want you going your an adult your not forbidden. Maybe its just something that you two need to talk about more. However over all I would say your free to go there.
Originally posted by
PropertyOfPotter
I always see threads that start off with that question and I always tell myself that you have to ask, than it probably is. But we had some friends over last night and something was discussed and I honestly wasn't sure.
If you're in a ... more
If you're in a ... more
I always see threads that start off with that question and I always tell myself that you have to ask, than it probably is. But we had some friends over last night and something was discussed and I honestly wasn't sure.
If you're in a long term relationship, and your partner is uncomfortable with you going to the strip club, is it cheating if you go on a regular basis and hide it from her? less
If you're in a long term relationship, and your partner is uncomfortable with you going to the strip club, is it cheating if you go on a regular basis and hide it from her? less
07/28/2013
It's not cheating, though it is a bit dishonest. I think it is also a bit controlling to just tell you you can't go at the same time, though. Because it is a strip club, it is a difficult topic. I think you should talk it out with your partner to see if there is any underlying insecurity and perhaps the source of those insecurities so they don't pop up later.
08/05/2013
I honestly consider lap daces cheating because there is either a real live dick, vagina, ass or breats in your face and right up on you.
but lying in general is just wrong.
but lying in general is just wrong.
08/06/2013
Quote:
Its not cheating since there is no sexual attraction there. If they are going on a regular basis maybe its an addiction that they are hiding. Its not considered cheating to me, but it could be to some. It is bad to hide it from your partner, its a really big lie. But its not technically you being with someone else.
Originally posted by
PropertyOfPotter
I always see threads that start off with that question and I always tell myself that you have to ask, than it probably is. But we had some friends over last night and something was discussed and I honestly wasn't sure.
If you're in a ... more
If you're in a ... more
I always see threads that start off with that question and I always tell myself that you have to ask, than it probably is. But we had some friends over last night and something was discussed and I honestly wasn't sure.
If you're in a long term relationship, and your partner is uncomfortable with you going to the strip club, is it cheating if you go on a regular basis and hide it from her? less
If you're in a long term relationship, and your partner is uncomfortable with you going to the strip club, is it cheating if you go on a regular basis and hide it from her? less
08/07/2013
Quote:
I agree
Originally posted by
surreptitious
I would say that while it's definitely wrong, it's not cheating. To me, it would be the same thing as keeping a separate, secret bank account from your partner or hanging out with a friend that he/she didn't like. Definitely not the
...
more
I would say that while it's definitely wrong, it's not cheating. To me, it would be the same thing as keeping a separate, secret bank account from your partner or hanging out with a friend that he/she didn't like. Definitely not the foundations of a good relationship, but as long as you're not doing anything physical with the strippers, then I wouldn't say that it's cheating. I know that that likely varies from person to person, so I can see why you made this discussion, though - good topic.
less
08/07/2013
Quote:
nope
Originally posted by
PropertyOfPotter
I always see threads that start off with that question and I always tell myself that you have to ask, than it probably is. But we had some friends over last night and something was discussed and I honestly wasn't sure.
If you're in a ... more
If you're in a ... more
I always see threads that start off with that question and I always tell myself that you have to ask, than it probably is. But we had some friends over last night and something was discussed and I honestly wasn't sure.
If you're in a long term relationship, and your partner is uncomfortable with you going to the strip club, is it cheating if you go on a regular basis and hide it from her? less
If you're in a long term relationship, and your partner is uncomfortable with you going to the strip club, is it cheating if you go on a regular basis and hide it from her? less
08/07/2013
Quote:
I agree
Originally posted by
surreptitious
I would say that while it's definitely wrong, it's not cheating. To me, it would be the same thing as keeping a separate, secret bank account from your partner or hanging out with a friend that he/she didn't like. Definitely not the
...
more
I would say that while it's definitely wrong, it's not cheating. To me, it would be the same thing as keeping a separate, secret bank account from your partner or hanging out with a friend that he/she didn't like. Definitely not the foundations of a good relationship, but as long as you're not doing anything physical with the strippers, then I wouldn't say that it's cheating. I know that that likely varies from person to person, so I can see why you made this discussion, though - good topic.
less
08/07/2013
Quote:
That is so true
Originally posted by
Augustxsins
It's wrong as hell to deceive your partner like that, but unless s/he is doing things with the strippers, it's not cheating. Although, there are certain lap dances that can definitely skirt that line.
08/07/2013
Quote:
I agree
Originally posted by
KrissyNovacaine
Deceit in a relationship is wrong. I wouldn't call it cheating, but it is wrong.
08/07/2013
Quote:
this is true
Originally posted by
Ciao.
Going to a strip club is not cheating.
If your is uncomfortable about it and you hide it that's definitely both wrong and a serious problem waiting to happen. Ultimately it could have the same impact as actual cheating since fundamentally ... more
If your is uncomfortable about it and you hide it that's definitely both wrong and a serious problem waiting to happen. Ultimately it could have the same impact as actual cheating since fundamentally ... more
Going to a strip club is not cheating.
If your is uncomfortable about it and you hide it that's definitely both wrong and a serious problem waiting to happen. Ultimately it could have the same impact as actual cheating since fundamentally the issue at play is trust. less
If your is uncomfortable about it and you hide it that's definitely both wrong and a serious problem waiting to happen. Ultimately it could have the same impact as actual cheating since fundamentally the issue at play is trust. less
08/07/2013
Quote:
I find it is wrong but I will not say it is cheating
Originally posted by
Ansley
Ok, so let me get this straight...
Guy and gal are a couple, the guy likes to go to strip clubs. It makes her feel uncomfortable and they have a rational discussion and he rationally agrees to never go again. Then a week or so goes by and ... more
Guy and gal are a couple, the guy likes to go to strip clubs. It makes her feel uncomfortable and they have a rational discussion and he rationally agrees to never go again. Then a week or so goes by and ... more
Ok, so let me get this straight...
Guy and gal are a couple, the guy likes to go to strip clubs. It makes her feel uncomfortable and they have a rational discussion and he rationally agrees to never go again. Then a week or so goes by and he's just got to stop in and stuff a few of those hard earned dollars into a g-string of a woman he will never and can never have. Then goes home and acts like everything is a-ok.
That's not cheating? On what planet?
Deception and lying by omission is still lying and that's not just wrong, it is cheating. Let's flip the table...
She has a thing for going to strip clubs and has been asked not to spend money on guys or go at all...continues to do it and lies about it. How would you honestly react in that situation?
Would you not feel betrayed? Isn't cheating a betrayal of the boundaries you've set in the relationship (regardless of what those hard limits actually are)?
Think about it before you respond...this is seriously boggling my mind. And how on earth can you compare a Flesh to Flesh experience with porn or eating an ice cream cone? I mean really? less
Guy and gal are a couple, the guy likes to go to strip clubs. It makes her feel uncomfortable and they have a rational discussion and he rationally agrees to never go again. Then a week or so goes by and he's just got to stop in and stuff a few of those hard earned dollars into a g-string of a woman he will never and can never have. Then goes home and acts like everything is a-ok.
That's not cheating? On what planet?
Deception and lying by omission is still lying and that's not just wrong, it is cheating. Let's flip the table...
She has a thing for going to strip clubs and has been asked not to spend money on guys or go at all...continues to do it and lies about it. How would you honestly react in that situation?
Would you not feel betrayed? Isn't cheating a betrayal of the boundaries you've set in the relationship (regardless of what those hard limits actually are)?
Think about it before you respond...this is seriously boggling my mind. And how on earth can you compare a Flesh to Flesh experience with porn or eating an ice cream cone? I mean really? less
08/07/2013
In general I don't consider going to strip clubs cheating, but I'd almost be willing to consider it that in the case the OP discussed. If your significant other knows you aren't OK with it yet feels compelled to go frequently AND hide it from you, that's a lot worse than going once or twice with friends. And sort of more than just lying and betraying their trust. I mean, when it comes down to it, the motivation would be to engage in sexual behavior with other women, so yeah that's essentially cheating.
My boyfriend recently went with some friends for a bachelor party. He knows I'm uncomfortable with him going and he's not into the idea of it either, actually. His friends knew this so they didn't tell him the plan. I was upset when I found out but I understand he didn't have much of a choice and he didn't pay for lap dances or anything. But if he was making the choice to go and this was something that happened regularly I wouldn't be so forgiving.
My boyfriend recently went with some friends for a bachelor party. He knows I'm uncomfortable with him going and he's not into the idea of it either, actually. His friends knew this so they didn't tell him the plan. I was upset when I found out but I understand he didn't have much of a choice and he didn't pay for lap dances or anything. But if he was making the choice to go and this was something that happened regularly I wouldn't be so forgiving.
08/09/2013
Quote:
Totally dishonest...buuut not cheating. But you need to come clean for the sake of honesty.
Originally posted by
PropertyOfPotter
I always see threads that start off with that question and I always tell myself that you have to ask, than it probably is. But we had some friends over last night and something was discussed and I honestly wasn't sure.
If you're in a ... more
If you're in a ... more
I always see threads that start off with that question and I always tell myself that you have to ask, than it probably is. But we had some friends over last night and something was discussed and I honestly wasn't sure.
If you're in a long term relationship, and your partner is uncomfortable with you going to the strip club, is it cheating if you go on a regular basis and hide it from her? less
If you're in a long term relationship, and your partner is uncomfortable with you going to the strip club, is it cheating if you go on a regular basis and hide it from her? less
08/27/2013
I said its wrong but not cheating. I think this falls more under lying and trust
Unless you're going there to cheat
Unless you're going there to cheat
09/02/2013
It's super wrong, but technically not cheating.
09/06/2013
I don't think that this is cheating--yes it is wrong and worth a good bop on the nose but it's not cheating.
I personally consider cheating to be an emotional or sexual action done with another person during an already on going relationship: kissing, sex, or just dating them and telling them they're the love of your life.
Sexual you have to touch another person with sexual intent, emotional could be anything along the lines of "I think that person over there would be a good wife/husband" and/or courting another person.
(Unless if married, because then you have to work on a marriage OR get divorced, if you do anything while still married I think it's cheating unless if there's a divorce pending)
I personally consider cheating to be an emotional or sexual action done with another person during an already on going relationship: kissing, sex, or just dating them and telling them they're the love of your life.
Sexual you have to touch another person with sexual intent, emotional could be anything along the lines of "I think that person over there would be a good wife/husband" and/or courting another person.
(Unless if married, because then you have to work on a marriage OR get divorced, if you do anything while still married I think it's cheating unless if there's a divorce pending)
10/23/2013
I can definitely sympathize with feeling hurt - and it isn't a nice thing to do, but isn't "technically" cheating. More in the realm of watching pornography... just a bit more involved.
10/23/2013
Quote:
I agree with this completely. I honestly do not understand how someone could not see that as cheating. Strip clubs involve watching women take off their clothes in front of you and you place that money in their underwear. How is that NOT physical?
Originally posted by
Ansley
Ok, so let me get this straight...
Guy and gal are a couple, the guy likes to go to strip clubs. It makes her feel uncomfortable and they have a rational discussion and he rationally agrees to never go again. Then a week or so goes by and ... more
Guy and gal are a couple, the guy likes to go to strip clubs. It makes her feel uncomfortable and they have a rational discussion and he rationally agrees to never go again. Then a week or so goes by and ... more
Ok, so let me get this straight...
Guy and gal are a couple, the guy likes to go to strip clubs. It makes her feel uncomfortable and they have a rational discussion and he rationally agrees to never go again. Then a week or so goes by and he's just got to stop in and stuff a few of those hard earned dollars into a g-string of a woman he will never and can never have. Then goes home and acts like everything is a-ok.
That's not cheating? On what planet?
Deception and lying by omission is still lying and that's not just wrong, it is cheating. Let's flip the table...
She has a thing for going to strip clubs and has been asked not to spend money on guys or go at all...continues to do it and lies about it. How would you honestly react in that situation?
Would you not feel betrayed? Isn't cheating a betrayal of the boundaries you've set in the relationship (regardless of what those hard limits actually are)?
Think about it before you respond...this is seriously boggling my mind. And how on earth can you compare a Flesh to Flesh experience with porn or eating an ice cream cone? I mean really? less
Guy and gal are a couple, the guy likes to go to strip clubs. It makes her feel uncomfortable and they have a rational discussion and he rationally agrees to never go again. Then a week or so goes by and he's just got to stop in and stuff a few of those hard earned dollars into a g-string of a woman he will never and can never have. Then goes home and acts like everything is a-ok.
That's not cheating? On what planet?
Deception and lying by omission is still lying and that's not just wrong, it is cheating. Let's flip the table...
She has a thing for going to strip clubs and has been asked not to spend money on guys or go at all...continues to do it and lies about it. How would you honestly react in that situation?
Would you not feel betrayed? Isn't cheating a betrayal of the boundaries you've set in the relationship (regardless of what those hard limits actually are)?
Think about it before you respond...this is seriously boggling my mind. And how on earth can you compare a Flesh to Flesh experience with porn or eating an ice cream cone? I mean really? less
Some guys pay for lap dances, which involves said partially naked women dancing on their laps. How is THAT not physical?
And on top of it all, doing this behind your partner's back, knowing full well that they would be angry and hurt by it involves a special kind of dishonesty, disregard and disrespect for your partner and their feelings.
Someone please explain to me how that's not cheating? Because I really just do not see how it isn't.
12/21/2013