i was about to make a discussion about this, but the other side. how to deal with your OWN jealousy...
i guess i'll tell you what i would LIKE him to do to deal with my jealousy (since it IS warranted, i was never jealous until he gave me a reason to be by lying by ommitance regarding his interactions with his slimy manipulative ex).
i would like him to respond to my jealous feelings with patience and reassurance, sincerity and honesty.
let me know i have nothing to worry about and that he wants to earn my trust back and will continue to try to do so. hold me while he's doing it because if i'm feeling jealous, i'm feeling far from him, and i'm feeling like shit.
if it's vindictive, angry jealousy, me personally i would tell the other person to shove it, if it was unwarranted. i know i don't deserve people to treat me badly verbally (been there done that, childhood abuse taught me something) and i won't stand for it.
if it's warranted jealousy (you've done something to make them believe you'd cheat) follow the above steps.
if it's just slight harmless jealousy, i tend to find it a bit attractive. it brings us closer together. i want my partner to feel a LITTLE jealous of my male friends, or guys who hit on me. it lets me know he still wants me. and that macho protective side turns me on.
but a little goes a long way.
a lot goes... out the door.