Life after a Miscarriage

The New Intimacy

Life after a Miscarriage

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Contributor: Darklyvan Darklyvan
Just wanted to know if any of you have experienced a miscarriage in your relationship and how you dealt with it.

How long did it take for you to stop mourning the loss and how long before you started trying again?

What's some of the best advice you heard during this hard time and some of the worst?
04/17/2012
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Contributor: Gracie Gracie
I have had 2 misscarrages. The first time I was 8 or 9 weeks along and while I was sad, I recovered emotionally and physically very quickly. The second time I was 17 weeks along and in some ways I'm still not over it. That was over 16 years ago. I still acknowledge my due date privately every year. But I don't think about it every day anymore. I now have 2 beautiful sons, one in college and one in highschool.

I heard lots of crappy advice. My best advice is ignore what people say and hear the underlying message that they feel sad for your loss and want to support you. I would also say wait till you both feel ready to try again. It's common for one parter to be ready before the other, but wait till it feels right for both of you!

If you are going thru this now, I am so sorry for your loss! If you(or anyone else going thru this situation) want to communicate more about this feel free to send me a message.
04/17/2012
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
I had a miscarriage almost a month ago. You can read about my experience here.

I assume from your post that you, too had a miscarriage. If so, I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope you have someone IRL you can trust to talk to; if not, I am here for you anytime if you want to PM me, and I know there are others here who would be more than willing to chat, too. A miscarriage is NOT an easy thing to go through, no matter what people may say. Sometimes a well meaning individual might say things like "Well, at least you know you can get pregnant" or "It was nature's way of saying you're not ready" but no one can understand the private pain we go through unless they've experienced it themselves.

Honestly, the biggest thing that helps me-and continues to help, as I'm still going through the grieving process-is realizing that we are not alone. 10-15% of all known pregnancies end in miscarriage-that's a significant amount. And most of the time, it is due to chromosomal problems that are random and out of our control.
04/18/2012
Contributor: Darklyvan Darklyvan
thank you for your kind words and support
04/27/2012