Long term and long distance, can it work?

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Long term and long distance, can it work?

inbarati inbarati
If you're in a long term relationship, and you come to a point where there's a state line or two (or four) between you, can it still work out?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Yes
Morganna , bigboobs , Hot'n'Bothered , Rarity , sexyhellokitty , PussyGalore , Envy , liilii080 , *HisMrs* , potstickers , Jemztone , thatonegirl , Airekah , married with children , DexterStratton , Kindred , inbarati , VieuxCarre , leatherlover , pinkcupcakes , northstar , LikeSunshineDust , dhig , XxFallenAngelxX , The Curious Couple , razmataz , DeliciousSurprise , C4ss , onehotmomma , lezergirl , ellejay , Nikoli , KikiChrome , BeautiFullFigured , Sweet-Justice , Lovelies , Darling Jen , Linga , kittychilla , Lady Marmelade , Bunnycups , Lady Venus , Remigirl , AZNYcouple15 , Mlee , joja , MaryExy , bunny love , mandiegk , tickle me pink , cherie2188 , PiratePrincess , Lithaewyn , neon , indiglo , Kimbertrees , Lilbee , aBeastlyLittleThing , UnknownGirl , Triple X Moma , RTC , T&A1987 , Vanille , sbon , eeep , cburger , LovesAPoet , NavyDoll87
68  (77%)
No
Penguin , Kaltir , Shellz31 , oopsy
4  (5%)
Maybe/Other/I'll tell you in a comment
Keegski , moonch1ld , Illusional , Lucidity , Yoda , imp , mrs.mckrakn , markeagleone , teeny <3 , Owl Identified , ahammer , LavenderSkies , honeybee7484 , BadgersRose , HangsLikeCabbage , GonetoLovehoney
16  (18%)
Total votes: 88
Poll is closed
01/24/2011
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Morganna Morganna
It can work if BOTH parties work at it and if there is mutual trust. It does get hard and there are fights, just like in any other relationship. My fella & I are long-distanced and we've been together for over 2 years now.
01/25/2011
moonch1ld moonch1ld
I think it can work if one of the couple plans on moving back at some point but I can't imagine ever being in a long term long distance relationship with no permanent moving back together in the foreseeable future.
01/25/2011
Illusional Illusional
My boyfriend have been doing this for over 3 years and we've been long distance for 2 years.
We see each other maybe three times a year if we're lucky.
It's very very difficult.
And we do argue. He's not a phone guy, or a random email guy.
So he doesn't call often and he works a lot of hours. There has to be a lot of trust.
And it can be difficult especially since my boyfriend can have some shady friends, who seem to have shitty morals.
It's difficult, but as long as you two are on the same page of keeping it exclusive and trustful and willing to do little things to keep close, it'll work.

I text my boyfriend random questions, really thoughtful questions and we play WoW together
01/25/2011
Hot'n'Bothered Hot'n'Bothered
Hubby and I were a state away from the time we met til the time we married (4 years)....Been married nearly 7 now.
01/25/2011
sexyhellokitty sexyhellokitty
Yes it can work out. I had two long distant relationships before.
01/25/2011
PussyGalore PussyGalore
Absolutely, if both people are willing to make it work and they do things to keep the connection tight. Webcam chats, little emails, notes, pictures, etc are great ways to say hey I'm thinking of you even if we can't be together right now.

The hardest part about a LDR-LTR is what happens when you finally come together under the same roof. Real life is drastically different than an email or a webchat. With the aforementioned forms of communication, one has time to cull the proper words instead of just reacting to a situation or statement the other has made in real time.
01/25/2011
Yesenia Yesenia
Yes It can work if they both work at it & are honest with each other!!
01/25/2011
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by PussyGalore
Absolutely, if both people are willing to make it work and they do things to keep the connection tight. Webcam chats, little emails, notes, pictures, etc are great ways to say hey I'm thinking of you even if we can't be together right ...
Yes, yes and absolute yes about coming together.
The first time my boyfriend and I hung out after being apart so long was so awkward.
I never noticed how many weird expressions he made, and it irked me
And I felt nervous cause as much as I talked about wanting to kiss him, I felt nervous all over again.
You really have to keep that connection strong. It really is work.
Bake cookies, write letters.
01/25/2011
Envy Envy
Going on 4 years for me, him on the other side of the country, it's still going.
01/25/2011
liilii080 liilii080
We were 2 years long distance. It's hard but it can work. (and man am I glad we're finally living together. I love a happy ending!)
01/25/2011
Yoda Yoda
Can I say yes, but not likely?
01/25/2011
potstickers potstickers
It can work, but you need to make sure there's complete, open communication. Have realistic expectations.
01/25/2011
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by potstickers
It can work, but you need to make sure there's complete, open communication. Have realistic expectations.
Yeah, you have to be realistic.
Despite the love, you can't expect him to spend every waking moment texting you, emailing you, on the phone with you or anything like that.

He will go out sometimes.
01/25/2011
Crash Crash
It definitely can cause problems and both partners have to make an effort to make it work.
01/25/2011
thatonegirl thatonegirl
Usually depends on the people involved some people i dated long distance couldn't do it.
01/25/2011
Airekah Airekah
As long as both people in the relationship are willing to work with each other. A long-distance relationship can be quite successful. (although a lot harder than most other relationships)
01/25/2011
married with children married with children
if you are both honest and trust each other, then it will work. It is hard work, but any relationship is.
01/25/2011
inbarati inbarati
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
My boyfriend have been doing this for over 3 years and we've been long distance for 2 years.
We see each other maybe three times a year if we're lucky.
It's very very difficult.
And we do argue. He's not a phone guy, or a ...
I play WoW with my girl, too. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
01/26/2011
inbarati inbarati
Quote:
Originally posted by PussyGalore
Absolutely, if both people are willing to make it work and they do things to keep the connection tight. Webcam chats, little emails, notes, pictures, etc are great ways to say hey I'm thinking of you even if we can't be together right ...
I've actually had this issue in roommate situations before. I'm hoping we can work it out enough to be patient with each other when the time finally comes.
01/26/2011
inbarati inbarati
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Yeah, you have to be realistic.
Despite the love, you can't expect him to spend every waking moment texting you, emailing you, on the phone with you or anything like that.

He will go out sometimes.
I don't actually expect that from her, at all. But lack of communication isn't really our problem. Just distance.
01/26/2011
inbarati inbarati
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Yes, yes and absolute yes about coming together.
The first time my boyfriend and I hung out after being apart so long was so awkward.
I never noticed how many weird expressions he made, and it irked me
And I felt nervous cause as much as I ...
Well, I love to bake, so that much is no problem.
01/26/2011
Penguin Penguin
Not for long. I am basing this on personal experience. I was in the military.
01/26/2011
mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
very unlikely. both parties would have to give the relationship the best they got.
01/26/2011
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by inbarati
Well, I love to bake, so that much is no problem.
Sounds wonderful!
01/26/2011
inbarati inbarati
Quote:
Originally posted by Penguin
Not for long. I am basing this on personal experience. I was in the military.
I dated a Seabee, once. I waited for him for just over a year, while he was on deployment. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. The waiting is hard.

I hope you'll forgive me if I hope you're wrong, though.
01/27/2011
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by inbarati
I don't actually expect that from her, at all. But lack of communication isn't really our problem. Just distance.
There wasn't any lack of communication in ours either, but as soon as we were apart, I realized how much he wasn't a phone person and I am not a texting person, so we've had to make due and make small changes to things.
01/27/2011
markeagleone markeagleone
Quote:
Originally posted by inbarati
If you're in a long term relationship, and you come to a point where there's a state line or two (or four) between you, can it still work out?
I think if the relationship was firmely based before the distance and the distance isn't permanent, then yes. I do not, however, believe that it will work if it was a week or two meeting and promises were made. Goood relationships have physical and emotional needs that are fulfilled. A lack of any of these creates problems. Love is love, but don't be misled if it was too quick at the get-go. It's your life, so you decide if you think your needs will be fulfilled, but remember, life is short so don't hang on if you have any doubts to the future of it.
01/27/2011
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
If you already have a sound relationship with trust and boundaries established, a relationship long distance can work. I've been in several that didn't work, but we didn't have the foundation for a good relationship anyway. You need patience as well because it sure isn't easy to be away from your partner for any length of time.

Just stay strong, stay confident, and know that your relationship will stand the test of times if it's meant to be.
01/27/2011
leatherlover leatherlover
It can definitely work. My wife and I were in college two states apart, and a 3 and a half hour drive, and we made it work. We started the relationship at that distance, and then she moved a state closer and it was a 2 hour drive.
01/27/2011
Total posts: 65
Unique posters: 49