Loooooong distance relationships. I.e, he's in China and I'm not.

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Loooooong distance relationships. I.e, he's in China and I'm not.

Blinker Blinker
I've been with my woobsie (aka the boyfriend) for 2 1/2 years and in late August, he's leaving to go to China for 10 months. I can't stand it and wish I could go with him, but alas, I can't. I'm giving him a great sexual sendoff and then I am buying a webcam to do the Skype thing, but the 12 hour time difference will be hard. I'll have toys and school to keep me busy, and he'll have his hand and whatever sort of porn China hasn't banned.

Does anyone have any advice for doing the super long-distance thing? Anyone have a spouse in the military or anything like that? Phone sex is out of the question. I just want to be as close to him as I can without being there.

Also, cam sex tips or anything would be greatly appreciated, since I've never done that before
07/22/2010
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kck kck
Communication is key, even if it's a one-liner via Facebook or text, etc. That's really the most important thing, in my opinion. It's the little things that will keep your feelings alive, that will help you appreciate each other, that will help you remember why you are together.

My partner and I have been doing the long-distance thing for years. And I mean yeeears. When things get bad, it's because we've become inconsiderate and don't make the time for each other. So e-mail, write, text, whatever, so that your partner knows that you're still there and that, yes, you do still care. It can feel so very alone. So, be a presence.

As far as cam sex goes, lighting can make it or break it! It's best if the light source is coming from behind the camera, facing you. I like to use the desk that I have my laptop on to prop my legs up and straddle. That way, it's a full, face-on view. My guy seems to really like it

Good luck, girl! I know how hard it can be; been there, still doing that, lol. Message me if you have any questions. I'm here for you
07/22/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
I've been with my woobsie (aka the boyfriend) for 2 1/2 years and in late August, he's leaving to go to China for 10 months. I can't stand it and wish I could go with him, but alas, I can't. I'm giving him a great sexual sendoff ...
Same, my boyfriend and I are long distance...and get to see each other maybe... 3 times a year. It is QUITE difficult, and yeah.. we have to communicate. Our time zones aren't too different, but.. our work schedule makes it hard for us to find time to sit down and chit chat. Emails and texts.. specific things you love about them and so on..

Also, webcamming.. is fun! I do little videos for him to watch, I usually get little costumes for myself and dress up and masturbate, or something. Like Kck said, lighting can be... very tricky. So maybe try a trial sequence with your camera and then see how it goes, same with audio. I use a bed, or desk.. or anything like that since I also have a laptop.. even have done a few shower scenes but they get tricky.
Best of luck!
07/22/2010
Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Same, my boyfriend and I are long distance...and get to see each other maybe... 3 times a year. It is QUITE difficult, and yeah.. we have to communicate. Our time zones aren't too different, but.. our work schedule makes it hard for us to find ...
Shower scenes? Damn! I'm too clumsy to pull that off, but way to go, girl!
07/22/2010
Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by kck
Communication is key, even if it's a one-liner via Facebook or text, etc. That's really the most important thing, in my opinion. It's the little things that will keep your feelings alive, that will help you appreciate each other, that ...
aww thank you! I was wondering about the lighting lol. I have a compact flourescent bulb in my room and it makes everything yellowish. It's great for the environment but bad for taking pics! again, thanks for the tips. You rock!
07/22/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Shower scenes? Damn! I'm too clumsy to pull that off, but way to go, girl!
Oh no, no.. I'm super clumsy. Get one of those bath mats.. and you'll be golden. ALSO.. invest in some soapy bodywash.. and waterproof eyeliner (sexiness)
Lots of lighting, also.. depending on your features you can take pictures and decide on the angles. Like, I have pretty big eyes, so most of the pictures focus on the upper area.. in a Facebook-esque type picture.. Also... remember when you make videos.. keep your room clean and sexy. lol.. don't let any stray panties or.. granny panties or anything be loose!
07/22/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
aww thank you! I was wondering about the lighting lol. I have a compact flourescent bulb in my room and it makes everything yellowish. It's great for the environment but bad for taking pics! again, thanks for the tips. You rock!
Oh yeah, I know what you mean! Get some clearer ones.. the yellow ones make me look too.. orangey (cause I am African-American) and then my teeth look yellow and it's disugsting.. lol
07/22/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Cyn's in China now, still.... Of all the time differences, 12 isn't that bad. We catch each other about twice a day (9 and 9 or so) on G-chat, not too bad. This is the 3rd summer we've been together that she's went to China, it hasn't gotten any easier. You've got some good ideas so far, not much more to add.

Good Luck!

(No Facebook in China, btw)
07/22/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Long handwritten letters are amazing during the long times apart. Long emails chronicalling EVERYTHING that happens to you can bring a sense of closeness to your partner while he's away. It will make him feel that he is still there in spirit even if he does get a little lonely as well. They are a bittersweet reminder of home but he'll secretly (or not so secretly) cherish them.

Also remember that 10 months while it seems like a lifetime now is just a drop in a VERY large bucket, each day ticks off time! Arch, Sigel and I are seperated much of the year and no it never gets easier. Still we have skype, only one hour time difference, and porn...lots and lots of porn!

Good luck to you both and hang in there!
07/22/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Oh no, no.. I'm super clumsy. Get one of those bath mats.. and you'll be golden. ALSO.. invest in some soapy bodywash.. and waterproof eyeliner (sexiness)
Lots of lighting, also.. depending on your features you can take pictures and ...
MMhmmm gotta corral those things...have you ever noticed how you think your room looks fine only to see in a corner or hanging out of a slightly opened drawer is your worst pair of panties, you know the ones you wear during that time of the month? Never fails! They are out to get you!

Seriously good idea but can you do it without running afoul of the censers in China? Don't want him to get in trouble for having "porn". I hope it works though, that's the one thing that keeps us three going! There's something about watching your lover doing things for you that is amazing!
07/22/2010
kck kck
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Cyn's in China now, still.... Of all the time differences, 12 isn't that bad. We catch each other about twice a day (9 and 9 or so) on G-chat, not too bad. This is the 3rd summer we've been together that she's went to China, it ...
Dang, I forgot about that. E-mail it is, then!

And like Airen said, I'd be reeeally careful about sending pre-recorded porn. You never know what the Chinese government may do if they see it, especially since your boyfriend's a foreigner.
07/22/2010
Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Cyn's in China now, still.... Of all the time differences, 12 isn't that bad. We catch each other about twice a day (9 and 9 or so) on G-chat, not too bad. This is the 3rd summer we've been together that she's went to China, it ...
Hopefully my guy won't make China a habit. As for Facebook, he's rarely on that anyway so it's fine. I just feel bad because of the lack of porn for the poor thing.
07/22/2010
Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Oh no, no.. I'm super clumsy. Get one of those bath mats.. and you'll be golden. ALSO.. invest in some soapy bodywash.. and waterproof eyeliner (sexiness)
Lots of lighting, also.. depending on your features you can take pictures and ...
Thanks for the tips! Yeah, it's not too sexy if a guy sees granny panties on the floor lol. Or a cat! I tried taking sexy pictures for him once and my cat was in the background. I sent it to him anyway and he laughed his ass off but I won't be doing that again lol
07/22/2010
Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
MMhmmm gotta corral those things...have you ever noticed how you think your room looks fine only to see in a corner or hanging out of a slightly opened drawer is your worst pair of panties, you know the ones you wear during that time of the month? ...
I am sooo worried about him getting thrown in prison for something trivial like porn so I'm gonna research this and find out what to do or not to do.

And you're definitely right about 10 months. It's really not a long time at all in the grand scheme of things. I would love to send him letters but neither of us trusts the China postal service.

Thank you for your advice, Airen! I appreciate it
07/22/2010
kck kck
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
aww thank you! I was wondering about the lighting lol. I have a compact flourescent bulb in my room and it makes everything yellowish. It's great for the environment but bad for taking pics! again, thanks for the tips. You rock!
No problem, hun!
07/22/2010
PassionQT PassionQT
China? Wow! The longest my husband was ever gone for was 5 months. We didn't have SKYPE back then, so use that as often as you can!
07/29/2010
sexyhellokitty sexyhellokitty
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
I've been with my woobsie (aka the boyfriend) for 2 1/2 years and in late August, he's leaving to go to China for 10 months. I can't stand it and wish I could go with him, but alas, I can't. I'm giving him a great sexual sendoff ...
I went thru this with my husband. He wasn't in China, but was about 1,000 miles. I sent him care packages and talked when we could. Can you film yourself and send it to him? Just hang in there.
07/31/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
I am sooo worried about him getting thrown in prison for something trivial like porn so I'm gonna research this and find out what to do or not to do.

And you're definitely right about 10 months. It's really not a long time at all ...
Then write the letters as though you mean to send them but tie them with a pretty ribbon and leave them in a box. When he gets home he can read them and it will give you things to talk about. It's a lovely way to get around censorship and it's what my grand parents did...it brought them so much intimacy!
08/08/2010
Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Then write the letters as though you mean to send them but tie them with a pretty ribbon and leave them in a box. When he gets home he can read them and it will give you things to talk about. It's a lovely way to get around censorship and ...
Awwww that's a sweet idea, Airen. Thanks!
08/08/2010
sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Lots of good advice here already. I have a hubby in the military, so we've gone through the deployment thing. Skype is definitely great. We weren't able to use skype the whole first half of the deployment, because of internet issues over there. But it's great. It's like a phone call only better. Sex on cam type stuff made me nervous at first, but I got more into it. Just make sure you communicate enough. Don't make it all about sex, because then when he comes home, it will be like you don't know each other anymore.

Email and write letters, facebooks, or whatever types or communication you can. Talk about everyday things. Like what did you have for lunch, what did you wear to work, what did you do when you hung out with the girls, what sort of errands do you have to run, stuff like that. For me, that helped me stay more connected and made me feel like I still knew my hubby. So mainly just always talk as much as you can. About anything and everything.
08/08/2010
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
I've been with my woobsie (aka the boyfriend) for 2 1/2 years and in late August, he's leaving to go to China for 10 months. I can't stand it and wish I could go with him, but alas, I can't. I'm giving him a great sexual sendoff ...
Heheh. I just got back from China, so this is a pretty interesting thread for me to see. From what I've been able to see, blocked sites include Facebook, Youtube, Megavideo, Veoh, Blogger, and Twitter. However, if he's willing to pay a monthly fee, there are ways to get around that

The 12 hour time difference does suck, but you'll both be up and about in the mornings and evenings (you'll just be asleep during each other's lunch thru afternoons), so at least you get some overlap wakey time online. The good news is that you can totally buy sex toys in China, and good quality brands like LELO and Tenga are available too, so hopefully if his hand gets too boring he can find a sex toy shop and grab a sleeve of some sort, though the stores I've seen in China mostly target women.

Apparently, porn is teh illegalz in China, which I didn't even realize when I was over there (you kind of stop caring when you're staying with family for extended periods of time). I was still able to access my usual web stops for online porn though, like imagefap and megaporn, soooo... yeah. If he's careful with where he keeps his porn (I'd say preferably on his computer and not on the coffee table), it should be fine. But, you know, if you're really worried about it, better safe than sorry.

As for sending love letters via snail mail... Back when I still wrote to my family in China, I would receive their letters in envelopes that were glued back together. * cough * I wouldn't be super concerned about them actually reading your mail, but email is the better choice for safe, on-time message delivery.

The super important thing for your boyfriend to do, computer-wise, is to get a good anti-virus and anti-spyware program installed. There is so much crap floating around in Chinese webspace; it can really bog down your computer to the point where you can make breakfast in the time it takes Skype to start up.

The other super important thing for you two to do: Remember that this too shall pass 10 months is a long time, but it's shorter than a year. He'll be back before you know it, with ridiculously cute souvenirs and lots of pictures. It's going to suck, yes, but it won't suck forever.
08/08/2010
Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Cinnamon
Heheh. I just got back from China, so this is a pretty interesting thread for me to see. From what I've been able to see, blocked sites include Facebook, Youtube, Megavideo, Veoh, Blogger, and Twitter. However, if he's willing to pay a ...
AGH! Thank you so much, Cynthia! I'm going to copy this and email it to him...you're such a doll for responding to this! After he tried the Tenga Egg once he loooves it so hopefully he can buy them in bulk over there and have fun. And you're right about the souvenirs! I keep telling him I can't wait for him to get back from China and he just calls me an idiot because he hasn't even left

Thanks again for your tips!
08/08/2010
petite-n-sweet petite-n-sweet
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Oh yeah, I know what you mean! Get some clearer ones.. the yellow ones make me look too.. orangey (cause I am African-American) and then my teeth look yellow and it's disugsting.. lol
Black background does wonders on camera... Hang a black sheet behind you.. and the light bounces off nicer =)
08/10/2010
petite-n-sweet petite-n-sweet
After reading this thread, I am completely motivated to write my sweety a long email, record him a video, and send him a pair of my panties in the mail.... 2500 miles and 4 mos since Ive seen him
08/10/2010
joja joja
Wow. Thanks a lot for the suggestions, this thread has made me feel a lot better about moving away in the Fall. Good thing I bought my boyfriend a webcam as a parting gift.
08/11/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by petite-n-sweet
Black background does wonders on camera... Hang a black sheet behind you.. and the light bounces off nicer =)
Ooooh. I may try this. <3
08/12/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by petite-n-sweet
After reading this thread, I am completely motivated to write my sweety a long email, record him a video, and send him a pair of my panties in the mail.... 2500 miles and 4 mos since Ive seen him
I live in Texas, he lives in Maryland. I saw him last in August.. but UGH.. everytime he leaves I cry like some pansy. I need more hobbies/friends/ something.
08/12/2010
deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Shower scenes? Damn! I'm too clumsy to pull that off, but way to go, girl!
You could always tape it and maybe edit it with music or whatever you want and send it to him so that with the time difference, he can enjoy it when he wants if you're not up.

I don't really like phone sex but when my boyfriend travels, which is is 335 days out of the year, I prefer to record my messages, sexual and non.
08/12/2010
Harlequin Harlequin
that sucks, LDR's are tough but i did it and it worked out!
12/12/2010
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Unique posters: 13