Men and their hobbies

I was going to title this "Gamers" but I felt that would be a bit judgmental.

I'm gonna say men cause I'm angry.


I am in a Long-term Long Distance Relationship.
Last week on Saturday I flew in to see him, I hadn't seen him since July. I was very thrilled and from Saturday-Monday he doted all attention and time to me.

I came for the WoW Cataclysm Expansion. If you don't play WoW, just assume it's pretty much a big fucking deal for its players. My boyfriend has been playing since it began six years ago and he loves it. I'm fine with this. I knew until he beat the expansion, I would pretty much be non-existent to him. I was okay with that, I missed him a lot. So I decided I'd cook for him and his friends and kind of keep up with cleaning and such. He was more than happy I decided to do that... and I let him spread his wings and fly and he did... from Monday at 3am- Wednesday at 10pm

As soon as he hit 85, I didn't rush him off. I didn't haggle him. And I felt like OMG... my kindness is paying off cause he sat and started up a movie for us to enjoy together.

Halfway through the movie, a friend asked a question and my boyfriend helped him. Somehow, my boyfriend migrated back to his computer and doesn't seem to think it's an issue.

I understand games, I understand passion, I do.
But, am I so low on the list that even though I won't be here past Sunday and he has the game forever... that he STILL doesn't wanna spend any time with me? less

I was going to title this "Gamers" but I felt that would be a bit judgmental.

I'm gonna say men cause I'm angry.


I am in a Long-term Long Distance Relationship.
Last week on Saturday I flew in to see him, I hadn't seen him since July. I was very thrilled and from Saturday-Monday he doted all attention and time to me.

I came for the WoW Cataclysm Expansion. If you don't play WoW, just assume it's pretty much a big fucking deal for its players. My boyfriend has been playing since it began six years ago and he loves it. I'm fine with this. I knew until he beat the expansion, I would pretty much be non-existent to him. I was okay with that, I missed him a lot. So I decided I'd cook for him and his friends and kind of keep up with cleaning and such. He was more than happy I decided to do that... and I let him spread his wings and fly and he did... from Monday at 3am- Wednesday at 10pm

As soon as he hit 85, I didn't rush him off. I didn't haggle him. And I felt like OMG... my kindness is paying off cause he sat and started up a movie for us to enjoy together.

Halfway through the movie, a friend asked a question and my boyfriend helped him. Somehow, my boyfriend migrated back to his computer and doesn't seem to think it's an issue.

I understand games, I understand passion, I do.
But, am I so low on the list that even though I won't be here past Sunday and he has the game forever... that he STILL doesn't wanna spend any time with me? less

I am an ex-WoW gamer and I completely understand your situation. To be honest, WoW is an addiction for a lot of people. Yes, I understand you feel hurt and wounded. However, my personal feeling is that you have to approach it as an addiction that he currently can not control. If you think it is a serious threat to your relationship, you have to have a talk with him. He has to understand how you feel. Making ultimatums won't help with addiction, but help him to understand how you feel. Also, try to establish times when it's okay for him to play (as you so lovingly did), but also establish ways when he's not playing that he doesn't get tempted to play. Something like between the hours of 8-10, he can not be on the computer for any reason, because if he goes near the computer, trust me he will be tempted to log on, just for a minute, and then that's it. It's not going to be easy, and I think it will take a lot of effort on your part to make it work. less

One of my nieces solved this when her boyfriend went off to be an inattentive twit.

She came right up to him, spun his chair around to face her, hit him across the jaw so that he ended up falling over, and yelled, "PAY ATTENTION TO ME, DAMMIT!!!"

I don't rec this if you're over the age of 18, though. less

I was going to title this "Gamers" but I felt that would be a bit judgmental.

I'm gonna say men cause I'm angry.


I am in a Long-term Long Distance Relationship.
Last week on Saturday I flew in to see him, I hadn't seen him since July. I was very thrilled and from Saturday-Monday he doted all attention and time to me.

I came for the WoW Cataclysm Expansion. If you don't play WoW, just assume it's pretty much a big fucking deal for its players. My boyfriend has been playing since it began six years ago and he loves it. I'm fine with this. I knew until he beat the expansion, I would pretty much be non-existent to him. I was okay with that, I missed him a lot. So I decided I'd cook for him and his friends and kind of keep up with cleaning and such. He was more than happy I decided to do that... and I let him spread his wings and fly and he did... from Monday at 3am- Wednesday at 10pm

As soon as he hit 85, I didn't rush him off. I didn't haggle him. And I felt like OMG... my kindness is paying off cause he sat and started up a movie for us to enjoy together.

Halfway through the movie, a friend asked a question and my boyfriend helped him. Somehow, my boyfriend migrated back to his computer and doesn't seem to think it's an issue.

I understand games, I understand passion, I do.
But, am I so low on the list that even though I won't be here past Sunday and he has the game forever... that he STILL doesn't wanna spend any time with me? less

One of my nieces solved this when her boyfriend went off to be an inattentive twit.

She came right up to him, spun his chair around to face her, hit him across the jaw so that he ended up falling over, and yelled, "PAY ATTENTION TO ME, DAMMIT!!!"

I don't rec this if you're over the age of 18, though. less

My boyfriend plays Final Fantasy and when the new ones come out, I know he will be in his "cave" for a while. I basically set rules that if I wanted to do something, they were on my time, not his. If he passed up opportunities with me, there would be no second chance. I was not going to wait second to a video game...

If he didn't agree, that meant no fun time with me and...he totally agreed. We really have had no problems. If he knew we had something to do or I wanted to do something, he made sure to get his game time in when I was busy with something else. So... not all guys are glued no matter what. But we live together. That said...

NO, under your circumstances, you have every right to be upset especially since he got you excited and then let you down. I would totally leave and go do something by myself... like shopping! Sometimes, for a guy, spending time with you means just being in the same room. I'll never understand this lol. It's not cool and it's not enough and it is totally unacceptable if he only has a week with you!

Make yourself look all cute and high tail it out the door. Treat yourself to some ice cream or a new nail polish at the drug store and just get out for a bit. Is it 4am there btw? You will feel a bit better regardless and it might make him realize that he is missing out. I hope... If it doesn't...I think it is talk time. less

I am an ex-WoW gamer and I completely understand your situation. To be honest, WoW is an addiction for a lot of people. Yes, I understand you feel hurt and wounded. However, my personal feeling is that you have to approach it as an addiction that he currently can not control. If you think it is a serious threat to your relationship, you have to have a talk with him. He has to understand how you feel. Making ultimatums won't help with addiction, but help him to understand how you feel. Also, try to establish times when it's okay for him to play (as you so lovingly did), but also establish ways when he's not playing that he doesn't get tempted to play. Something like between the hours of 8-10, he can not be on the computer for any reason, because if he goes near the computer, trust me he will be tempted to log on, just for a minute, and then that's it. It's not going to be easy, and I think it will take a lot of effort on your part to make it work. less

Have you clearly told him how much it makes you mad when he does this? He might have gotten the wrong impression because of how understanding you were and how you cleaned up and cooked and stuff. He could basically just be thinking that you're ok with it in general. If you haven't already, I would say to explain how you feel and set some ground rules. Maybe something like "I'm fine with you playing for a while, and I'd be more than happy to help around the house while that happens, but I need some time for me too, and I'd like that time not to be interrupted." less

Ok, wait...you went there knowing there was a new expansion being released and you honestly expected him not to be glued to the computer?

I think the logic here is a little flawed.

Did you ask him anything about the game? Did you ask him to show you anything about his characters? Did you get involved with him in any way that showed your were interested in what he was doing - besides just letting him play until his keyboard was bloody? less

We stayed up until an hour ago talking. And he told me about how he feels so much better in the fantasy world, and I told him that's perfectly fine, I read romance novels, I roleplay, I cosplay... I love fantasy. But our love is in the real world. And it upset me that I scrapped all this money together, being jobless to come spend time with him. And he wasn't really aware I was so upset, because I don't "vocalize" it. I guess I assumed it would be OBVIOUS I wouldn't wanna just sit there and do nothing, but apparently not... less

Ok, wait...you went there knowing there was a new expansion being released and you honestly expected him not to be glued to the computer?

I think the logic here is a little flawed.

Did you ask him anything about the game? Did you ask him to show you anything about his characters? Did you get involved with him in any way that showed your were interested in what he was doing - besides just letting him play until his keyboard was bloody? less

I've learned through the years that even the best men can sometimes be a little clueless to that type of thing. Unless it's vocalized the chances are they will miss things like that and have no idea why we get mad! I'm glad that you guys talked it out though! less

I've learned through the years that even the best men can sometimes be a little clueless to that type of thing. Unless it's vocalized the chances are they will miss things like that and have no idea why we get mad! I'm glad that you guys talked it out though! less

As a card holding member of the clueless men's club, I agree with this. It can be difficult to express your feelings, but some of us need it spelled out or else we wont have a clue that there's a problem. Hopefully things get better for the both of you less

I was going to title this "Gamers" but I felt that would be a bit judgmental.

I'm gonna say men cause I'm angry.


I am in a Long-term Long Distance Relationship.
Last week on Saturday I flew in to see him, I hadn't seen him since July. I was very thrilled and from Saturday-Monday he doted all attention and time to me.

I came for the WoW Cataclysm Expansion. If you don't play WoW, just assume it's pretty much a big fucking deal for its players. My boyfriend has been playing since it began six years ago and he loves it. I'm fine with this. I knew until he beat the expansion, I would pretty much be non-existent to him. I was okay with that, I missed him a lot. So I decided I'd cook for him and his friends and kind of keep up with cleaning and such. He was more than happy I decided to do that... and I let him spread his wings and fly and he did... from Monday at 3am- Wednesday at 10pm

As soon as he hit 85, I didn't rush him off. I didn't haggle him. And I felt like OMG... my kindness is paying off cause he sat and started up a movie for us to enjoy together.

Halfway through the movie, a friend asked a question and my boyfriend helped him. Somehow, my boyfriend migrated back to his computer and doesn't seem to think it's an issue.

I understand games, I understand passion, I do.
But, am I so low on the list that even though I won't be here past Sunday and he has the game forever... that he STILL doesn't wanna spend any time with me? less

Lol, Lauren I love you. Cause I did just that.
I dolled up and grabbed my purse. And he came outside like "Where are you going?"

I was like.. "I didn't fly all this way to watch you play a game. I'm going to a movie alone." He turned off his computer less

I've learned through the years that even the best men can sometimes be a little clueless to that type of thing. Unless it's vocalized the chances are they will miss things like that and have no idea why we get mad! I'm glad that you guys talked it out though! less