Men and their hobbies

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Men and their hobbies

Illusional Illusional
I was going to title this "Gamers" but I felt that would be a bit judgmental.

I'm gonna say men cause I'm angry.


I am in a Long-term Long Distance Relationship.
Last week on Saturday I flew in to see him, I hadn't seen him since July. I was very thrilled and from Saturday-Monday he doted all attention and time to me.

I came for the WoW Cataclysm Expansion. If you don't play WoW, just assume it's pretty much a big fucking deal for its players. My boyfriend has been playing since it began six years ago and he loves it. I'm fine with this. I knew until he beat the expansion, I would pretty much be non-existent to him. I was okay with that, I missed him a lot. So I decided I'd cook for him and his friends and kind of keep up with cleaning and such. He was more than happy I decided to do that... and I let him spread his wings and fly and he did... from Monday at 3am- Wednesday at 10pm

As soon as he hit 85, I didn't rush him off. I didn't haggle him. And I felt like OMG... my kindness is paying off cause he sat and started up a movie for us to enjoy together.

Halfway through the movie, a friend asked a question and my boyfriend helped him. Somehow, my boyfriend migrated back to his computer and doesn't seem to think it's an issue.

I understand games, I understand passion, I do.
But, am I so low on the list that even though I won't be here past Sunday and he has the game forever... that he STILL doesn't wanna spend any time with me?
12/09/2010
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Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
I was going to title this "Gamers" but I felt that would be a bit judgmental.

I'm gonna say men cause I'm angry.


I am in a Long-term Long Distance Relationship.
Last week on Saturday I flew in to see him, I ...
Time for a new boyfriend...
12/09/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
My boyfriend plays Final Fantasy and when the new ones come out, I know he will be in his "cave" for a while. I basically set rules that if I wanted to do something, they were on my time, not his. If he passed up opportunities with me, there would be no second chance. I was not going to wait second to a video game...

If he didn't agree, that meant no fun time with me and...he totally agreed. We really have had no problems. If he knew we had something to do or I wanted to do something, he made sure to get his game time in when I was busy with something else. So... not all guys are glued no matter what. But we live together. That said...

NO, under your circumstances, you have every right to be upset especially since he got you excited and then let you down. I would totally leave and go do something by myself... like shopping! Sometimes, for a guy, spending time with you means just being in the same room. I'll never understand this lol. It's not cool and it's not enough and it is totally unacceptable if he only has a week with you!

Make yourself look all cute and high tail it out the door. Treat yourself to some ice cream or a new nail polish at the drug store and just get out for a bit. Is it 4am there btw? You will feel a bit better regardless and it might make him realize that he is missing out. I hope... If it doesn't...I think it is talk time.
12/09/2010
Chilipepper Chilipepper
One of my nieces solved this when her boyfriend went off to be an inattentive twit.

She came right up to him, spun his chair around to face her, hit him across the jaw so that he ended up falling over, and yelled, "PAY ATTENTION TO ME, DAMMIT!!!"

I don't rec this if you're over the age of 18, though.
12/09/2010
Kindred Kindred
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
I was going to title this "Gamers" but I felt that would be a bit judgmental.

I'm gonna say men cause I'm angry.


I am in a Long-term Long Distance Relationship.
Last week on Saturday I flew in to see him, I ...
I am an ex-WoW gamer and I completely understand your situation. To be honest, WoW is an addiction for a lot of people. Yes, I understand you feel hurt and wounded. However, my personal feeling is that you have to approach it as an addiction that he currently can not control. If you think it is a serious threat to your relationship, you have to have a talk with him. He has to understand how you feel. Making ultimatums won't help with addiction, but help him to understand how you feel. Also, try to establish times when it's okay for him to play (as you so lovingly did), but also establish ways when he's not playing that he doesn't get tempted to play. Something like between the hours of 8-10, he can not be on the computer for any reason, because if he goes near the computer, trust me he will be tempted to log on, just for a minute, and then that's it. It's not going to be easy, and I think it will take a lot of effort on your part to make it work.
12/09/2010
Lindz86 Lindz86
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
I am an ex-WoW gamer and I completely understand your situation. To be honest, WoW is an addiction for a lot of people. Yes, I understand you feel hurt and wounded. However, my personal feeling is that you have to approach it as an addiction that ...
Maybe stage an intervention then if we're treating this like an addiction???
12/09/2010
Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
One of my nieces solved this when her boyfriend went off to be an inattentive twit.

She came right up to him, spun his chair around to face her, hit him across the jaw so that he ended up falling over, and yelled, "PAY ATTENTION TO ME, ...
I don't recommend this at any age, abuse is always abuse.
12/09/2010
Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
I was going to title this "Gamers" but I felt that would be a bit judgmental.

I'm gonna say men cause I'm angry.


I am in a Long-term Long Distance Relationship.
Last week on Saturday I flew in to see him, I ...
Have you clearly told him how much it makes you mad when he does this? He might have gotten the wrong impression because of how understanding you were and how you cleaned up and cooked and stuff. He could basically just be thinking that you're ok with it in general. If you haven't already, I would say to explain how you feel and set some ground rules. Maybe something like "I'm fine with you playing for a while, and I'd be more than happy to help around the house while that happens, but I need some time for me too, and I'd like that time not to be interrupted."
12/09/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
One of my nieces solved this when her boyfriend went off to be an inattentive twit.

She came right up to him, spun his chair around to face her, hit him across the jaw so that he ended up falling over, and yelled, "PAY ATTENTION TO ME, ...
Hopefully you don't recommend this over the age of 18 due to it being completely inappropriate and immature?
12/09/2010
PussyGalore PussyGalore
Ok, wait...you went there knowing there was a new expansion being released and you honestly expected him not to be glued to the computer?

I think the logic here is a little flawed.

Did you ask him anything about the game? Did you ask him to show you anything about his characters? Did you get involved with him in any way that showed your were interested in what he was doing - besides just letting him play until his keyboard was bloody?
12/09/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
My boyfriend plays Final Fantasy and when the new ones come out, I know he will be in his "cave" for a while. I basically set rules that if I wanted to do something, they were on my time, not his. If he passed up opportunities with me, ...
Lol, Lauren I love you. Cause I did just that.
I dolled up and grabbed my purse. And he came outside like "Where are you going?"

I was like.. "I didn't fly all this way to watch you play a game. I'm going to a movie alone." He turned off his computer
12/09/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
I am an ex-WoW gamer and I completely understand your situation. To be honest, WoW is an addiction for a lot of people. Yes, I understand you feel hurt and wounded. However, my personal feeling is that you have to approach it as an addiction that ...
Yes, the first year of us dating was so strained because of his addiction. He would sometimes be late, and already tired before going out. I didn't play WoW, so to save some sanity cause I felt he was worth it, I BEGAN playing. Which helped out a lot, he was ultra talkative and we did some things together. I am way too passive aggressive to give him an ultimatum. I'm way more of a crybaby, and that I did actually. I cried and cleaned and just sort of moped to myself for awhile.
12/09/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
Have you clearly told him how much it makes you mad when he does this? He might have gotten the wrong impression because of how understanding you were and how you cleaned up and cooked and stuff. He could basically just be thinking that you're ...
We stayed up until an hour ago talking. And he told me about how he feels so much better in the fantasy world, and I told him that's perfectly fine, I read romance novels, I roleplay, I cosplay... I love fantasy. But our love is in the real world. And it upset me that I scrapped all this money together, being jobless to come spend time with him. And he wasn't really aware I was so upset, because I don't "vocalize" it. I guess I assumed it would be OBVIOUS I wouldn't wanna just sit there and do nothing, but apparently not...
12/09/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by PussyGalore
Ok, wait...you went there knowing there was a new expansion being released and you honestly expected him not to be glued to the computer?

I think the logic here is a little flawed.

Did you ask him anything about the game? Did you ask ...
I play the game as well, so I know all about it. Don't get me wrong, his heart is there.
Like when I play, every single little flower or pet that's cute, he'll give it to me.

Last night, he gave me a cute new pet they released. So I played the game with him for awhile, yes.

I only went because he was begging me to, telling me he wanted to kiss me and hug me, and hold me... and he really missed me. He sounded so heartfelt I decided I wanted to see him.

I'm a sucker I know... lol
12/09/2010
Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
We stayed up until an hour ago talking. And he told me about how he feels so much better in the fantasy world, and I told him that's perfectly fine, I read romance novels, I roleplay, I cosplay... I love fantasy. But our love is in the real ...
I've learned through the years that even the best men can sometimes be a little clueless to that type of thing. Unless it's vocalized the chances are they will miss things like that and have no idea why we get mad! I'm glad that you guys talked it out though!
12/09/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by PussyGalore
Ok, wait...you went there knowing there was a new expansion being released and you honestly expected him not to be glued to the computer?

I think the logic here is a little flawed.

Did you ask him anything about the game? Did you ask ...
Also, my logic button is broken. I am young, but I'm a stupid stupid romantic. I've been cooking for him and his friends for days, and cleaning. I love doing these things and seeing how proud he is to show me off, makes it even better.
12/09/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
I've learned through the years that even the best men can sometimes be a little clueless to that type of thing. Unless it's vocalized the chances are they will miss things like that and have no idea why we get mad! I'm glad that you ...
They are SO oblivious! lol

Also, I am SO frugal but I spent 95 bucks on birth control. I was like "WE'RE USING THIS!"

So I've been sexually assaulting him once a day...

Long distance sucks.. lol
12/09/2010
Kindred Kindred
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
I've learned through the years that even the best men can sometimes be a little clueless to that type of thing. Unless it's vocalized the chances are they will miss things like that and have no idea why we get mad! I'm glad that you ...
As a card holding member of the clueless men's club, I agree with this. It can be difficult to express your feelings, but some of us need it spelled out or else we wont have a clue that there's a problem. Hopefully things get better for the both of you
12/09/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
As a card holding member of the clueless men's club, I agree with this. It can be difficult to express your feelings, but some of us need it spelled out or else we wont have a clue that there's a problem. Hopefully things get better for the ...
Yeah, I hate complaining to him in general.
I don't wanna be a whiny bitch, so I usually just take things in stride and try to deal with them alone.

It annoys the hell out of him, cause I just get withdrawn. I'm getting BETTER though. I can usually say it now.... sometimes. When the planets align.
12/09/2010
Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
I was going to title this "Gamers" but I felt that would be a bit judgmental.

I'm gonna say men cause I'm angry.


I am in a Long-term Long Distance Relationship.
Last week on Saturday I flew in to see him, I ...
No offense to your boyfriend but... Maybe he should have finished the movie?

I mean, I played a Chinese MMO called Fung Wan Online (also known as Pedang Seitawan Online, and Storm Riders Online), and in it I could see having to leave for a while because of certain situations. For example if I was A Clan (A Large group of people, a Guild system) leader and someone was trying to take over my Clan, I'd have to log on and destroy them...Absolutely DESTROY! Also there was Clan Wars, but if someone took the relic, I'd just attack their base later and take it back. Just as long as I take our relics back as well as the towns we own before war then we were fine. They don't have anything like this in WoW that I know

Even then If my Girlfriend flew a million miles to see me, I'd let the Clan burn to the ground, while spending time with her (My Ministers and officers SHOULD be able to handle things for awhile), and if something would have happened while I was gone I would find those responsible and WAGE WAR!

Thankfully I do not play anymore.
12/09/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Lol, Lauren I love you. Cause I did just that.
I dolled up and grabbed my purse. And he came outside like "Where are you going?"

I was like.. "I didn't fly all this way to watch you play a game. I'm going to a movie ...
Aww thankies
BAHAHAHA I figured that is what would happen, but I didn't want to spoil the surprise .

I'm glad you took my advice. Now get off eden and get some booty!...if you didn't already
12/09/2010
PussyGalore PussyGalore
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Also, my logic button is broken. I am young, but I'm a stupid stupid romantic. I've been cooking for him and his friends for days, and cleaning. I love doing these things and seeing how proud he is to show me off, makes it even better.
Well some men do get tunnel vision. Yes, he should have spent more time with you but you're both probably pretty young and won't always make the best decisions when it comes to choosing between time with each other and hobbies.
12/09/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
I've learned through the years that even the best men can sometimes be a little clueless to that type of thing. Unless it's vocalized the chances are they will miss things like that and have no idea why we get mad! I'm glad that you ...
Ya know how there are rules to horror flicks like "Never assume the killer is dead!"

Well...never assume a guy knows wtf you are thinking. Gotta tell him!
12/09/2010
Kindred Kindred
Or just start giving him oral on his next raid. That will get his attention. (Isn't there a name for that?)
12/09/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Aww thankies
BAHAHAHA I figured that is what would happen, but I didn't want to spoil the surprise .

I'm glad you took my advice. Now get off eden and get some booty!...if you didn't already
I did this morning, twice. He's asleep now.

I have to get my money's worth in birth control.. lol
12/09/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by PussyGalore
Well some men do get tunnel vision. Yes, he should have spent more time with you but you're both probably pretty young and won't always make the best decisions when it comes to choosing between time with each other and hobbies.
Yeah, I'm 23, he's 29. I can juggle my hobbies and time pretty well, but I like things to be in order... he's sort of takes things as they go.. lol
12/09/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Ya know how there are rules to horror flicks like "Never assume the killer is dead!"

Well...never assume a guy knows wtf you are thinking. Gotta tell him!
LOL, excellent point!
12/09/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
Or just start giving him oral on his next raid. That will get his attention. (Isn't there a name for that?)
Yeah, I've heard of those. Called um... WoWJobs or something... lol.
12/09/2010
Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Ya know how there are rules to horror flicks like "Never assume the killer is dead!"

Well...never assume a guy knows wtf you are thinking. Gotta tell him!
Absolutely! I can't even tell you how many fights my husband and I got into back in the day because I thought that it was obvious how I was feeling and so I never told him!
12/09/2010
Envy Envy
My bf is a gamer like me, but i agree, WoW is very addicting and is a mood killer. Many times my bf has been playing it and never thought to join me for gaming, and we're in a long distance relationship, too. It irks me, but there's nothing much i can do about it.

If I was over, though, that's a different story, we each didn't even go on the computer pretty much at all when i came to visit. We spent a lot more time outside the house, it was wonderful.
12/09/2010
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