mundane chores launching wwIII

Kodie Kodie
When a mundane chore becomes a daily battle, like who takes out the trash. Ex: his chore is to take out the trash, but he will go for days without doing it. What do you do?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Just take out the trash, its not worth the argument
Castielskitten
1
Continue to pile trash on
lalalalove
1
Stop doing one or all of your chores
Ask him to do it
Taylor , Ansley , Wicked Wahine , charmedtomeetyou , jwitt754 , gsfanatic , lalalalove , Pandora'sBox , nova2014 , Bignuf
10
Put the trash can in his way ie in front of a doorway to the
Ansley , Wicked Wahine , charmedtomeetyou , Genderfree
4
Sexual favors in exchange for chores
Other please explain
js250 , shorejen9
2
Total votes: 18 (14 voters)
Poll is closed
06/23/2013
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Taylor Taylor
I don't think being petty and passive aggressive is the way to go about it, it just builds resentment on both sides.

I haven't lived with a significant other before, but when I had a roommate and she wasn't doing any of the cleaning I just talked with her one day about why it was important to me to have a clean place and that it made me feel like she did not respect me when she wouldn't clean up her messes and that it actually hurt my feelings. After that she did a much better job about cleaning up after herself. If I had done something passive aggressive instead I don't think that would have happened.

Clear, honest, kind communication often goes very far with people
06/23/2013
js250 js250
I do a couple of different things, depending on the chore.

I will ask him if he would rather do a different chore (one of mine) and I can take over the garbage. If he says no, then I do suggest the trash getting taken out immediately so I have room to put the packaging for when I cook dinner. Otherwise dinner will have to wait due to the uncleanliness of a full trash can and such around my hands, sleeves, etc. while preparing food.

Long term--I do give him a very appreciative and sincere compliment when he does things without reminders, on a whim or just because. It makes him want more....then he does it without reminders. And I have noticed him giving it back sometimes.
06/23/2013
Ansley Ansley
I've always set the trash that needs to go out right by the door. He's the one that goes in and out, he's the one that takes the trash out, so it just makes sense. But, we've never argued over chores (I do all the household stuff, he does the outside stuff.)
06/24/2013
charmedtomeetyou charmedtomeetyou
I really try hard to not retaliate by not doing something that is normally my job, even though I feel the urge.

I will usually make some little fun quip about it....in a playful way. If that doesn't work, I'll ask him to do it-- flat out. I might put it in his path to illustrate my point!
06/24/2013
shorejen9 shorejen9
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
I do a couple of different things, depending on the chore.

I will ask him if he would rather do a different chore (one of mine) and I can take over the garbage. If he says no, then I do suggest the trash getting taken out immediately so I have ... More
I have to agree with this. It seems to work best without causing a fight.
06/24/2013
gsfanatic gsfanatic
I try to negotiate or find out why she doesn't want to do the particular thing that keeps coming up. There does tend to be a better alternative
06/25/2013
Pandora'sBox Pandora'sBox
Quote:
Originally posted by Taylor
I don't think being petty and passive aggressive is the way to go about it, it just builds resentment on both sides.

I haven't lived with a significant other before, but when I had a roommate and she wasn't doing any of the ... More
I agree. Passive-aggressive stunts doesn't help. It builds resentment and kills communication. It is always the better route to talk about it.
06/29/2013
nova2014 nova2014
I'd just tell him outright, I'd prefer if he did it without me reminding him but that's not gonna happen until I'm about ready to pull out my hair. He doesn't really respond well to passive aggressive things either so that's not really an option
07/17/2013
Castielskitten Castielskitten
I just take it out myself *shrugs* I'm the one who cleans and he's at work 15 hours a day, nothing wrong with me doing it. If he does it then we all know I forgot to the day before. Then again I can't stand it when the trash is over full so I take it out when it gets full anyways. He's normally not home and I'm not having that smell linger about.
07/17/2013
Total posts: 10
Unique posters: 10