My relationship is a one way street.

  • Get FREE 5 Gifts with Orders $59+

My relationship is a one way street.

kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
I'm a Christian and my boyfriend can't stand Christian music and told me "you sound like a religious nut" Well I was crying last night and listening to Christian music my boyfriend was hanging out with me and he said I don't like this kind of talk if your going to be like this I'm going to go. God was cleaning my eyes and my eyes were shinning as I cried and felt closer to him...My boyfriend and I obviously don't value the same thing. I'm thinking if I break up today asap even at work and knowing he is my manager tonight. Leave him behind so I can be free....I was told if you love someone and they don't love you back its like you hate yourself. He doesn't belive in true love and peace but that as peole we can feel calm and tranquil. He said sure God died for Us but only he knows true love and peace. Well like my mom says love isn't passive its active. It's not love until you give it away.

God left his holy spirit here to help us...Anyway not only that we have been together 5 years and I don't see a commitment he still lives at his mom's house. Sure to him I feel like because he doesn't sleep with other people its love and commitment...but he's not really there for me. If he was crying I wouldn't tell him I;m going to go now I would hold someone I love and if they aren't holding me. My resources and energy are drained form a one way. THink of a cup being poured and poured for someone else and in their cup they are supposed to pour for you but they have an empty and dry cup...
09/17/2011
  • Buy 3 Items for $70
  • Buy 3 Items for $50
  • Buy 3 Items for $30
  • Save 20% on Luxury Toys
  • Add Some Buzz To Your Favourite Toy & Save 60% On Kit
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I'm a Christian and my boyfriend can't stand Christian music and told me "you sound like a religious nut" Well I was crying last night and listening to Christian music my boyfriend was hanging out with me and he said I don't ...
My boyfriend is Athiest and I am religious but I don't force my beliefs on him, as he doesn't criticize mine. That is the only way you can be in a relationship with difference in beliefs. You have to both be willing to keep that part of your lives separate. Sure, he will listen to me when I talk about God and life after death, make occasional joke comments, and I do the same to him. But if I'm upset about something he won't make jokes about the situation, because he loves me, but I won't ever force God on him, because my feeling is, I won't do to him what I wouldn't want him to do to me and force NOT believing in God on me.
09/17/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
My boyfriend is Athiest and I am religious but I don't force my beliefs on him, as he doesn't criticize mine. That is the only way you can be in a relationship with difference in beliefs. You have to both be willing to keep that part of ...
I'm not forcing him to belive in God obviously you can't do that if you try anyway. I'm not going to stop listening to Christian music and say oh my boyfriends here gotta hide my beliefs under the rug. Its my room and my choice to listen to the music. Its also my choice to talk about God's love and its always his choice what he believes and choses to do. You can't force anyone into beliving something its always t heir choice. Just like my boyfriend doesn't belive in true love and peace that comes from serving God. Just like it was his choice to walk out of my room and go home because he didn't like what I talked about. Him doing that isn't going to force me to give up my belif and say oh nevermind I agree with you know ok I'm done beliving lets stay and hangout in my room. Yes you can stay with people who don't follow God's word and belive his love for you..but in the end you are torn. God doesn't send people to Hell people chose it. Think of someone holding you but you turn your back on them and when there is no other chance after you die you are hurting and torn because they chose hell over you.
09/17/2011
Illumin8 Illumin8
I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this. I can't imagine how hard it would be.

I agree with you, in that I don't think that you should have to hide any part of your beliefs or what you feel makes you who you are from him. A relationship that can only stay together if the individuals are doing that is pretty messed up, in my opinion. Above anything else, you need to feel comfortable being able to express who you are and what you believe.
09/17/2011
Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I'm not forcing him to belive in God obviously you can't do that if you try anyway. I'm not going to stop listening to Christian music and say oh my boyfriends here gotta hide my beliefs under the rug. Its my room and my choice to listen ...
Well, it's not so much a matter of forcing him in words, but listening to music based on your beliefs is the same as if mine were to listen to any type of music I don't like and making me listen to it. I would complain or make some sort of comment about it, and make him listen to it with headphones on, as I always do while listening to music that he doesn't find to be good. Keeping my religious items out in our room is fine with him, as long as I don't talk about it, I can pray or use anything around him that I please, as long as I don't ask him to join in, or mention it.

I have a friend who is EXTREMELY religious, to the point where almost every other sentence that comes out of her mouth involves God, except around those who are not religious. She has learned to tolerate others' beliefs and accept that not everyone feels as she does. Her boyfriend who was an Athiest hated it when she would mention God and bring religion into every conversation they had. It ended their relationship because at the time she was only 18 and hadn't learned to accept others as they are, and love them as they are.

Just as I love my boyfriend despite the fact that it hurts me that he doesn't believe, I would never tell him nor would I talk about God around him unless it were a debate of some sort or to tell a story.
09/17/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
Well, it's not so much a matter of forcing him in words, but listening to music based on your beliefs is the same as if mine were to listen to any type of music I don't like and making me listen to it. I would complain or make some sort of ...
I will forsake my boyfriend for Christ. I'm tired of the pain of someone who doesn't truly love me. My boyfriend listens to music I don't like around me but its my choice to not let it annoy me. I can say please turn it down or can you turn it off so we can talk for a while. If you don't love yourself you don't love other people. Real love comes from having faith in Christ. It hurts my heart when I hear him say "I will hate ___ until I die" There was a girl who wasn't very nice and said some rude things. He works with her. She can say rumors and rude things about me but I won't do the same to her. She can hate someone but I won't hate her back. People at work have blasted rap which I consider crap music. I was my own happy self and tolerated it. I also plug my ipod into the speakers they have and not everyone likes my music or maybe some of the songs. There was one guy who said he didn't like a song I was playing because it brought up a bad memory. He didn't demand I change the song or leave. We are fine and get along. I know one of the managers doesn't like a song and if you play it she will run out the building and scream. Real mature she said it annoys her.
09/17/2011
Kkay Kkay
If he's not there for you emotionally and he belittles you, it sounds like it's time to move on.
09/17/2011
AndroAngel AndroAngel
Honestly, I won't subject others to my music or my beliefs if they don't subject me to theirs. My lover likes a band I can't stand, I enjoy Bruce Springsteen, he can't stand Springsteen, so we compromise and listen to neither of them when we're together.

As for beliefs, I have a friend who is very pro-life, and I'm extremely pro-choice. We don't fight over it because we've agreed to disagree and we've dropped the subject.

On the other hand, if he won't give you the same respect, then it's probably good to go your separate ways.
09/17/2011
Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I will forsake my boyfriend for Christ. I'm tired of the pain of someone who doesn't truly love me. My boyfriend listens to music I don't like around me but its my choice to not let it annoy me. I can say please turn it down or can you ...
Though I have faith in God, I don't let it control my relationships. Some do, others do not. That is a choice you have to make on your own. Some can have both, but I would highly suggest only dating those with the exact same beliefs as yourself. I think you need a "hardcore" religious lover, as you put your beliefs above all else in your life, it seems. Which, for you, is not a bad thing, don't get me wrong. If you need someone who shares your beliefs to make you happy, you should have it! Others, like myself, can have faith, love God, trust God and his judgement, but still hold other ideas and thoughts in my head, such as there are some things and people I do hate, I accept others' beliefs. I do not become offended or upset or hurt by their beliefs. So for me, I can spend the rest of my life with someone who doesn't believe in the same things as me.

That's the beauty of this world, is that there are so many different people in it, all with different ways of thinking. I love it

I'm very sorry that you were hurt, but there is someone out there for you, someone perfect for you, who believes the things that you do full-heartedly.
09/17/2011
Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
Honestly, I won't subject others to my music or my beliefs if they don't subject me to theirs. My lover likes a band I can't stand, I enjoy Bruce Springsteen, he can't stand Springsteen, so we compromise and listen to neither of them ...
Agreed, we do the same in our relationship, we just put on headphones and don't bring it up. If we are in the car (which is mine) I won't listen to music he doesn't like, we'll find something we both like, or we will talk.

And I agree, you need respect for one another, if I were not being respected I certainly couldn't be in a relationship either!!!
09/17/2011
Wildchild Wildchild
O.K. Wow! "If it's meant to be it will happen" I really think you two are not happy with each other. Five years and no commitment? Thats odd, I'm a guy saying that. You need to be you. Be Strong and Independent, figure out who you are and what you want from life. Take a break from this guy.
09/18/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
Agreed, we do the same in our relationship, we just put on headphones and don't bring it up. If we are in the car (which is mine) I won't listen to music he doesn't like, we'll find something we both like, or we will talk. ...
I just sent him this on facebook.


I just don' t feel you love me as much as I love you, so I need to move on. People who don't know God and run from Him can't ever understand true love, true peace, or true happiness.
I need a Godly man who really understands what love is. A leader who is not confused. Believing in God and these things is not crazy; crazy is not wanting these things and trying to find them by being a helpless slave to whatever you feel like doing at the moment. Crazy is believing you're past relatives are monkeys that evolved from mud puddles; rather than made by an intelligent God. I need a man who respects and loves me the same as I love him. If you find God, got humbled by my leaving standing up to you, you could be someone I consider in the future.
09/18/2011
Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I just sent him this on facebook.


I just don' t feel you love me as much as I love you, so I need to move on. People who don't know God and run from Him can't ever understand true love, true peace, or true happiness.
I need ...
As long as you are doing what is right for you, then you are certainly doing the right thing! Relationships can be difficult enough without feeling that your values or beliefs are being disrespected. Religion is something I can agree-to-disagree on, as long as my partner doesn't try arguing with me or changing my beliefs but there are some issues I can't let a relationship come before. I could not date someone or marry someone who did not love animals as much as I do, because I would always have a fear of them not treating my pets the way that I do. There is someone out there for you and for him, you will find a man who loves God as you do, and feels the same as you do about love. For me, true love is just respect, for my relationship, I don't feel he has to love God to love me, and that's where romance and love is a wonderful thing, don't you think? So many people with so many ways of viewing the world. To me, it makes love even more romantic!

I am not sure how you feel about the "online dating" sites, but there is a site, I think it's called Christian Mingles or something like that, where people with incredibly strong religious views create profiles, like Eharmony, but ONLY for those with Christian values. Perhaps something like that would be useful? Maybe do a google search

I wish you a lot of luck, and I hope you both find happiness, him in someone like himself and you maintain your happiness with God and find a man to share your feelings through God with.
09/18/2011
Ryuson Ryuson
Good luck with everything! I really had trouble dating someone with separate religious views than I did, but that's because I talk to God about everything.

Your message sounds like you wrote it when you were really upset, which makes sense! You ARE really upset! Personally I would have worded it differently, but I guess I just feel that people should be let down more easily
Keep us updated!
09/18/2011
M121212 M121212
Quote:
Originally posted by Wildchild
O.K. Wow! "If it's meant to be it will happen" I really think you two are not happy with each other. Five years and no commitment? Thats odd, I'm a guy saying that. You need to be you. Be Strong and Independent, figure out who you ...
I agree with this.

Having a boyfriend is not the be-all end-all in life. Sounds like you have some more important business to attend to, like taking care of an nurturing yourself.

Best of luck.
09/18/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
As long as you are doing what is right for you, then you are certainly doing the right thing! Relationships can be difficult enough without feeling that your values or beliefs are being disrespected. Religion is something I can agree-to-disagree ...
sorry never in my life will I use a dating site, end of disscusstion.
thanks all for your replies
09/18/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
Good luck with everything! I really had trouble dating someone with separate religious views than I did, but that's because I talk to God about everything.

Your message sounds like you wrote it when you were really upset, which makes ...
It's called standing up for myself. My boyfriend is wrong. I can't stand when he says I will hate _ person until I die. Even if someoene hates me and beat me I would love them. I love myself because God also loves me.
09/18/2011
sktb0007 sktb0007
I feel this is a sensitive subject so I'll just say Good luck and I hope everything works out for you : )
09/18/2011
PassionQT PassionQT
Kinky, you need to find someone who values what you do and who respects what you cherish. It sounds like he doesn't. I think in the long run, you will be much happier. Good luck!
09/18/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionQT
Kinky, you need to find someone who values what you do and who respects what you cherish. It sounds like he doesn't. I think in the long run, you will be much happier. Good luck!
I'd rather not discussing finding someone right now. But I know what kind of person I want as I stated in my note to him. Im just going to focus on the Bible and God. Many people feel Jesus return is close I want to be ready. Who knows I could die today so the most important thing in life is to be prepared. How can I be prepared with baggage from a hurtful relationship..
09/18/2011
Callisto Callisto
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I'd rather not discussing finding someone right now. But I know what kind of person I want as I stated in my note to him. Im just going to focus on the Bible and God. Many people feel Jesus return is close I want to be ready. Who knows I could ...
Everyone has baggage. It can be from parents, non-immediate family, friends and relationships. Accepting the past and in your case praying to take away the feelings and possibly resentment is the best thing you can do to heal yourself.

I had to go through a bad relationship to find out how worthy of love I am.
09/18/2011
WierdAl WierdAl
I think maybe you should concentrate on you for the time being. When and if the time comes, that you want to start dating look for someone with simular beliefs in your own church group. This would be a person who would posses the same moral fiber as you.

Most importantly, This is your life and you are the only person that can make you happy.
09/19/2011
Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by WierdAl
I think maybe you should concentrate on you for the time being. When and if the time comes, that you want to start dating look for someone with simular beliefs in your own church group. This would be a person who would posses the same moral fiber as ...
I agree with WierdAl, it's better for you to find someone who shares the same belief, rather than dating someone who's a non-Christian. It can be very over-whelming for a non-religious person, to be deluged by their partner, referring to God in every aspect of their daily life.
09/19/2011
Wildchild Wildchild
How did you meet this guy? I have been wondering this ? all day.
09/19/2011
MissStormRyder MissStormRyder
I think you would be much happier with someone who holds the same beliefs and values you do...That being said, it doesn't mean they will treat you better than this guy does.

I do have questions?? You seem to be a pretty devout person and I'm just wondering how does one balance all that religion says about premarital sex, masturbation all those impure thoughts and so on and so on...with everyday life and relationships?
I'm not religious at all so I'm curious about how that all comes together with the beliefs you have? Can we just pick and choose which of god's laws are okay to break or what sin is okay to commit?
Sorry if I came off as judgy but I just don't understand it all??
09/19/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by MissStormRyder
I think you would be much happier with someone who holds the same beliefs and values you do...That being said, it doesn't mean they will treat you better than this guy does.

I do have questions?? You seem to be a pretty devout person and ...
NO we can't and lately I realized much of my hidden pain in my heart. I mean I feel its ok to use a vibrator once in a while..Its not ok to look but not touch if you feel any lust its wrong. As a human we have libido and need release sometimes. Thats all it is you feel a need to release and you release but no porn or lusty feelings its adultery.

I have been praying and talking to God alot and am still up its 5am can't sleep..I realize I strongly regret not dating a certain someone who asked me out not that long before I met this guy i've been dating and just broke up with. He is now living with his girlfriend,whom doesnt seem very happy and I wish to tell the guy my secret if we ever have a moment to talk together which probly won't happen its rare I run into him and when I run into hiim at wal mart she's with him. I love him....if he ended up single again I would jump on it and tell him how I really felt. So I'm watching and waiting and hoping..
09/19/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by MissStormRyder
I think you would be much happier with someone who holds the same beliefs and values you do...That being said, it doesn't mean they will treat you better than this guy does.

I do have questions?? You seem to be a pretty devout person and ...
Well It wasn't just his fault I need to change some things in my life like get healthy I was holding him back with severe ibs and we never got to hang out or do anything. He said he misses the woman he met 4 years ago. He said he still loves me. We talked and if I change things in my life and am that same woman again and we are both single we may end up together again.
09/20/2011
Total posts: 27
Unique posters: 14