Hi everyone! My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years now (March 2013 will be two years). I can honestly say I'm not happy with our current situation. We have a 16 month old together. Here's the deal: I started working again after being a SAHM for my son's first 16 months. My husband was the one working full-time and I was collecting unemployment. Anyway, so I'm working first shift and my husband has gone to second shift. I told him how much I did not want him to go to second shift as I would never see him. I offered the idea of putting our son into daycare, but he vehemently refused. So because we're working opposite shifts, we never see each other let alone have sexual intercourse. Last night I was sleeping when he got home from work. He came home instead of going to his friend's house in which he's gone until 5 or 6 the next morning. He reasons with me that he goes Friday nights so we can have the weekend to spend time together. I don't mind that he spends time with his friends. However, since he's out that late, he comes home and sleeps until 1 in the afternoon.
If you're still reading, thank you. I don't know who else to ask and asking groups on Facebook just got me nasty answers. I'm all for constructive criticism but there's a line to cross. My next option would be paying someone to listen to me ramble. Anyway, he comes home last night and I wake up and he jokes with me that I'm f-ing grumpy. He lays down in bed and goes to kiss me and I don't know if everything was just building up or if I was just really tired, but when he kissed me, I absolutely did not want him to and I felt so much animosity towards him. I didn't say anything and just went to sleep but I don't understand the emotion. I remember my husband and I having a small tizzy a few weeks back and I woke up the next morning not wanting to put my wedding ring on. I did wear it anyway but it didn't feel like it belonged on my finger. So after that reaction of emotion last night when he kissed me (for quite a while I've not wanted to tell anyone I love them or kiss them, not just my husband. Only my son is immune to this) this morning he wakes up with the baby (who has been having the stomach flu for about 4 days now) and I wake up about an hour later and as soon as I get upstairs, he goes downstairs to play his XBOX. I ask him why he was going downstairs, he asks me why not? He was raised by his mother who parented her five children pretty much all by herself because her husband worked all the time and wasn't home and didn't ask them to do shit. She did everything herself and I can't help but feel that my husband is still stuck on that way of life. Him going downstairs when I just wake up, to me, feels like he's thinking, "Well the woman's up. It's her turn. I'm going to go do what I feel like doing for myself." The way he asked me why not about him going downstairs was kind of like he was asking me between the lines what's the big deal about me going down to play my game? Only that we don't see each other during the week but I guess he figures that because he watches the baby all week while I'm at work gives him the freedom to leave the baby with me so he can have his free time. It must be nice to have that kind of luxury.
We haven't had sex lately because we never see each other and I don't want to because lately it has been very dissatisfying. It feels good yeah, but not like it used to. I don't even have the drive to want to do anything. If I do, I masturbate and that's felt considerably better than having sex with my husband or having him perform oral on me. You know the saying the grass is greener on the other side? That's how I've been feeling lately. I would never cheat (could not live with the guilt) but other men have become attractive. I never used to look at other men.
If some of you are still with me, awesome and thank you. I apologize for writing so much but I don't know what else to do.
Guys and gals alike, I could use your advice. If you're parents and if you're not. Either way, please offer any help or advice .
If you're still reading, thank you. I don't know who else to ask and asking groups on Facebook just got me nasty answers. I'm all for constructive criticism but there's a line to cross. My next option would be paying someone to listen to me ramble. Anyway, he comes home last night and I wake up and he jokes with me that I'm f-ing grumpy. He lays down in bed and goes to kiss me and I don't know if everything was just building up or if I was just really tired, but when he kissed me, I absolutely did not want him to and I felt so much animosity towards him. I didn't say anything and just went to sleep but I don't understand the emotion. I remember my husband and I having a small tizzy a few weeks back and I woke up the next morning not wanting to put my wedding ring on. I did wear it anyway but it didn't feel like it belonged on my finger. So after that reaction of emotion last night when he kissed me (for quite a while I've not wanted to tell anyone I love them or kiss them, not just my husband. Only my son is immune to this) this morning he wakes up with the baby (who has been having the stomach flu for about 4 days now) and I wake up about an hour later and as soon as I get upstairs, he goes downstairs to play his XBOX. I ask him why he was going downstairs, he asks me why not? He was raised by his mother who parented her five children pretty much all by herself because her husband worked all the time and wasn't home and didn't ask them to do shit. She did everything herself and I can't help but feel that my husband is still stuck on that way of life. Him going downstairs when I just wake up, to me, feels like he's thinking, "Well the woman's up. It's her turn. I'm going to go do what I feel like doing for myself." The way he asked me why not about him going downstairs was kind of like he was asking me between the lines what's the big deal about me going down to play my game? Only that we don't see each other during the week but I guess he figures that because he watches the baby all week while I'm at work gives him the freedom to leave the baby with me so he can have his free time. It must be nice to have that kind of luxury.
We haven't had sex lately because we never see each other and I don't want to because lately it has been very dissatisfying. It feels good yeah, but not like it used to. I don't even have the drive to want to do anything. If I do, I masturbate and that's felt considerably better than having sex with my husband or having him perform oral on me. You know the saying the grass is greener on the other side? That's how I've been feeling lately. I would never cheat (could not live with the guilt) but other men have become attractive. I never used to look at other men.
If some of you are still with me, awesome and thank you. I apologize for writing so much but I don't know what else to do.
Guys and gals alike, I could use your advice. If you're parents and if you're not. Either way, please offer any help or advice .
