No more sex!

Elnoa Elnoa
My grandfather once told me that his wife (my grandmother) just decided one day that she no longer wanted to have sex, and that he was accepting of the idea. They stayed together until he died, and neither one of them (to anyone's knowledge), ever cheated. Do you think you could ever deal with this kind of decision from your spouse?
06/28/2011
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Destri Destri
Quote:
Originally posted by Elnoa
My grandfather once told me that his wife (my grandmother) just decided one day that she no longer wanted to have sex, and that he was accepting of the idea. They stayed together until he died, and neither one of them (to anyone's knowledge), ... More
I do. I can always masturbate, and I love my husband for a lot more than just his ability to have sex.
06/28/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
Nope - not if it was just by choice!
If a partner truly couldn't perform, that would be a different story. But I'd still expect them to enjoy using toys on me.
If there just was nothing there, then I would be finding outside fun.
06/28/2011
Chilipepper Chilipepper
My ex-husband decided that on the wedding night, but he didn't bother to tell me. His low-libido and pride blamed me for being an 'over-sexed freak obsessed over a genital sneeze'. I tried and tried for ten years ... then I finally snapped and told him it was Over. I've had more sex since our separation in 11/09 than I had during ten years of marriage.

I need the affection and proof of desire. I've found it in others who also believe the same. And I'm not an over-sexed freak ... I'm healthy.
06/28/2011
froggiemoma froggiemoma
not sure i could deal with that decision
06/28/2011
ss143 ss143
I am a very sexual person so making that decision just because and not for some medical reason or something would bother me.
06/28/2011
Elnoa Elnoa
I think most people probably would not be comfortable with the idea of giving up sex because their partner decided they no longer wanted to participate. I always wondered if my grandfather actually agreed with her decision, or merely accepted out of courtesy to my grandmother (and frankly, I didn't want to ask questions!). And I think it would be difficult for many people to not take offense to such a request! I have no idea how I would react to it, either.
06/28/2011
csweatc csweatc
Hell no, not unless I could have sex with other people. That's just selfish and weird.
06/28/2011
Waterfall Waterfall
I know that I would not deal well with a decision like this. If my partner really knew me then I am not sure if they would make a "demand" like this unless there was some flexibility allowed.
06/28/2011
El-Jaro El-Jaro
That was such a different time then, wasn't it?

I know I'd really have the biggest issue with my partner making a big decision like that without talking about it with me first. That'd be the biggy there for me.
06/29/2011
Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by Elnoa
My grandfather once told me that his wife (my grandmother) just decided one day that she no longer wanted to have sex, and that he was accepting of the idea. They stayed together until he died, and neither one of them (to anyone's knowledge), ... More
Did your grandfather mention their ages when that decision took place? I kinda think old age might sometimes affect sex drives.

I'm 48, I have less sex drive than when I was a few years ago. Perimenopause is also affecting my sex drive too.
06/29/2011
Elnoa Elnoa
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
Did your grandfather mention their ages when that decision took place? I kinda think old age might sometimes affect sex drives.

I'm 48, I have less sex drive than when I was a few years ago. Perimenopause is also affecting my sex drive too.
I am pretty sure this was after my aunt was born, making my grandmother in her 30s and my grandfather in his 40s. Pretty young, I think! This also took place in the 70s.
06/29/2011
indiglo indiglo
Wow! I can't imagine that! I think for me it would depend on why the decision was made. I'm not sure I could handle that, but if it were an issue of being unable to that would be different than just deciding not to have sex with me anymore. I also agree that I wouldn't be pleased they made that decision without consulting me, because that's a serious decision to make! I'd also want to be clear if they just meant no PIV sex, or no fooling around. Because if we could still fool around I might do ok with it (not sure though), but if it was absolutely ZERO sexual activity, I'm not sure I could manage.

Maybe your grandmother just didn't want to have anymore kids? Thank goodness for birth control!
06/29/2011
Linga Linga
hmm that would have to be a big, fat NO. Unless there was a very good reason for it (depression, injury etc) Not just because he's decided too. I need to feel that desire and passion, it reminds me that I'm not only attractive but wanted, needed and if I can't please my man physically then I feel like "whats the point to it"
I never understood how a couple can be a couple without sex, the two go hand in hand for me.
06/29/2011
IrishLassie IrishLassie
Right now, if my husband decided he no longer wanted to have sex, it would be really hard. I think we could work something out though. However yesterday we were just talking about doing it when we are old. Its weird that I can imaging growing old with me, I CANNOT imagine having sex when we are older (like 70s and 80s). Maybe its just me not really sure how a much older couple does it. I know they do, and my husband and other people assure it is possible. Anyways, when we are older I think it would be easier to deal with. Certainly there is a lot more to my husband than just sex so I think it can be done.

My husband has had a much lower sex drive than me so at 1st it was hard, but then I got accustomed to it. I know that he doesnt love me any less or that he doesnt desire me just because he has a low sex drive.
06/29/2011
Elnoa Elnoa
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
Wow! I can't imagine that! I think for me it would depend on why the decision was made. I'm not sure I could handle that, but if it were an issue of being unable to that would be different than just deciding not to have sex with me ... More
I agree, without birth control, I'm not sure life would be worth living.
06/30/2011
ScotchIrish ScotchIrish
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
My ex-husband decided that on the wedding night, but he didn't bother to tell me. His low-libido and pride blamed me for being an 'over-sexed freak obsessed over a genital sneeze'. I tried and tried for ten years ... then I finally ... More
We never had a great sex life. Never had a good sex longer than a few days. Rarely had Holiday Sex, Birthday Sex, Paycheck Sex or What the hell sex. Yah, a few times PreGame (NFL) Sex, Camp/camper Sex and you better finish I think someones coming to the door sex. She never took care of my wants, needs, desires or fantasies. While I took care of her almost 1 or 2 times during each allowance (orally). It was not enough and it was/is part of our demise. It has been over four years since anything successful happened. After I could not perform without partnership I just stopped trying. We are in the process of divorce. I still live in the house, but I moved out of the bedroom. There are two sides to every story. I give her that. And, I was not always a prince and often a popper. But I was faithful. She was a good and faithful wife, mother. I just want a partner. And, yes I do want Sex.
07/02/2011
Total posts: 17
Unique posters: 14