Please don't judge me!

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Please don't judge me!

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Contributor: Sugarfina Sugarfina
Hi, Please don't judge. I want some honest input. I want to know how many of you are also interested in this.

So my fiancee and I are planning to get married October 2013 or 2014 but we are dead broke and I don't have a job because I'm a felon and I can't find a lot of people who will hire me (please don't ask, it's a sensitive topic), so I've been looking to find a sugar daddy for help. Now Cody doesn't want me to do it and I've been having to hide it, but he's smart. He says he'll leave me if I continue with it, I feel like I'm cheating but I really need the money. Others think it's like prostitution, but it's possible to find sugar daddies out there who just want companionship. I really need help and I'm interested in polygamies anyway. I do love Cody however and it's very hard. We dont even have running water and it's not like he's not good enough, but I just have a huge conflict here.

What do you think I should do?

I am also getting ready to start a new relationship with an old friend that I wanted to have a polygamy with before, known as Jake. Cody doesn't like it. Hmmmm. But I do? Is Cody the wrong guy then? Am I a slut?

Please don't mark this as spam. I'm putting it here for some help.
02/10/2013
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Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Well, you're not a slut. Let me get that out of the way first! You are not a slut. Period, end of story.

You're in a tight spot, and sounds like you have very little wiggle room. If you love Cody, doing something behind his back you know he is uncomfortable with is not likely to work long term. You'll be unlikely to keep your relationship with Cody if you do stuff he's expressly said he doesn't want you to do. If you really value your relationship with Cody, that might be something to consider.

What other options might you have? Camming (being an online camgirl), finding a kink site and selling your used socks/panties/etc., maybe finding odd jobs to do in your neighborhood (cutting grass, walking dogs, cleaning out gutters, etc.) or getting creative in some other way to make some money - working in fast food, etc. With a Google search, I found this website that lists companies who do hire felons: link

Maybe that will be helpful to you.

At any rate, it's really YOUR decision. If you value your relationship with Cody, you may want to explore alternatives to sugar daddies and that type of thing. If you don't mind losing your relationship with Cody, you can likely find a sugar daddy fairly easily.
02/10/2013
Contributor: IvyFayette IvyFayette
You are in no way shape or form a slut. Don't let anyone ever let you think that about yourself. I agree you are in a tight situation right now and need to take time out to think about what is best for you and the people you are going to be/are involved with. Do you love your fiancee enough that, without the money issues, you will be happy being with just him for the rest of your life? If yes, I would suggest you looking into getting your criminal record sealed so you are able to get a job. If unable to do that, depending on where you live certain companies will still hire you depending on what your crime was. If not, than going behind his back is not the answer. You need to sit down with him and in a non-hostile way explain your feelings of being polyamorous and how you wish to help with the bills by having a sugar daddy. Note that it wold be best to let your sugar daddy know about your other partners to prevent even more conflict. Something you can discuss with him is "sharing" another person. Your profile says he is straight and you are pansexual. Try finding a bi/pan-sexual woman who you both are attracted to and you both can have a relationship with. It's not like a 3-some but a relationship that both of you will have with the person. If you can not commit to only him or he will not allow you to be with other people, you need to think about why you love him for he might not be the right person for you. I know it's hard but stay strong and know that no matter what you choose, everything will work out eventually. My email is aidenlioncourt@yahoo.c om Feel free to send me an email or a message on here any time you need to talk or advice. Email is faster though since it goes straight to my phone. Give yourself time to think about everything and don't make a hasty decision.
02/10/2013
Contributor: hmb12 hmb12
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
Well, you're not a slut. Let me get that out of the way first! You are not a slut. Period, end of story.

You're in a tight spot, and sounds like you have very little wiggle room. If you love Cody, doing something behind his back ... more
I agree with this post. Great post! There is never nothing that you can do, but I've never been in that tight of a situation and I'm not going to yell "get a job" at you. If you find that you and your guy are completely on different levels when it comes to what you want to do to earn money for each other, that is something you seriously need to talk about. No relationship flourishes on lies and disrespect. You have to respect his wishes, and definitely explain to him that if he won't let you do the thing that you instinctively think of going towards, that he should help you think of something else.

That link sounds good btw. You don't need to spend a lot of money on a wedding either. Their are things that you can do at a reasonable cost, or just get the certificate and celebrate later down the road. This is what my uncle did. You're marriage shouldn't suffer just because of lack of money.
02/10/2013
Contributor: Sugarfina Sugarfina
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
Well, you're not a slut. Let me get that out of the way first! You are not a slut. Period, end of story.

You're in a tight spot, and sounds like you have very little wiggle room. If you love Cody, doing something behind his back ... more
@ indiglo,

Thank you so much for all the advice.

I do love Cody so much, and I wouldn't want to risk anything to lose him, I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I am a polyamorous person and I want that with him too. It's very hard. I have been a camgirl before and still am one (he doesn't support that either) secretly, and I just became an Avon representative. link

Thank you so much for the link to the site for employers who will hire ex-offenders! That is really really helpful! I also have a small business making jewelry. Here is my Etsy. link

You're right, I may lose him if I continue with the sugar daddies. It's just something that I need right now and I'm between a rock and a hard place!
02/11/2013
Contributor: Sugarfina Sugarfina
Quote:
Originally posted by IvyFayette
You are in no way shape or form a slut. Don't let anyone ever let you think that about yourself. I agree you are in a tight situation right now and need to take time out to think about what is best for you and the people you are going to be/are ... more
@ IvyFayette

Thank you for disagreeing on the slut part lol. You guys' support really means a lot to me. I was afraid to put this up here because I thought someone would spam it or bash it! There used to be some mean reviewers on this site. :/

You're right about the involvement thing too. I do need to think about what is best for my fiancee and my other boyfriends. Now my sugar daddies know that I am engaged, and my fiancee knew about the sugar daddies, but because he has an ex-girlfriend (he left her for me last year) who cheated on him for years with sugar daddies, he compares me to her and though we've sat down and talked about it, even cried and yelled and screamed about it, he will not give me this one change to be polygamous or to have a sugar daddy and live the life I want. I am so in love with him it is so difficult to leave- Besides, I would be homeless if it weren't for him, so there's conflict there too. He doesn't want me to share him with anyone else.

It's very hard, sometimes I don't think he is the right person.

Email me at gender_ryde@gmx.com if you ever want to talk. Thank you so much for your support! Also you can find me on skype! The same email applies.
02/11/2013
Contributor: Sugarfina Sugarfina
Quote:
Originally posted by hmb12
I agree with this post. Great post! There is never nothing that you can do, but I've never been in that tight of a situation and I'm not going to yell "get a job" at you. If you find that you and your guy are completely on different ... more
@ hmb12. You are right in that no relationship flourishes on lies and disrespect. None do, none ever. Will. I don't want to lie to Cody or disrespect or use him.

That's a good idea, asking him to suggest something else for me to think about. Avon hopefully will help as a career and my small jewelry making business I hope will bring in more money, but right now we're destitute-we don't even have running water in the house. I think the links that indiglo provided are awesome and I appreciate them super-much!

You're right, a marriage shouldn't suffer because of money. That's one of the biggest things that married couples argue about according to my research!
02/11/2013
Contributor: melliegirl melliegirl
figure out if you would rather be with cody or trying polygamy. Best of luck!
03/06/2013
Contributor: Sugarfina Sugarfina
As it turns out he left me yesterday. Kicked me out. I had cleaned it up but not soon enough. That'll be in the announcements section. I'm now single. He wants to be friends. but he said he thinks i am mentally insane and keeps putting me down for this.
03/09/2013
Contributor: Sugarfina Sugarfina
Right now I am at a shelter for battered women in my area.
03/09/2013