I am 28 years old, engaged and very much in love with my future hubby. We have been together for nine years, engaged for four… getting married this April. We have lived together for the past eight years pretty much living like husband and wife. He is divorced and has a teen son who lives full time with us. We have no children together. This is my first and only serious relationship. He is also eight years older than I am. In the beginning our sex life was like a dirt porn movie, now it’s the same o same o and well needs a major make over. He enjoys sex, is able to finish and wants is from me every day if I gave it to him. Me on the other hand, I never demanded or requested pleasure for me, I never told him what I like or how I want it, not even in the beginning so now we have a muncho problem. I do not want to have sex just to pleasure him anymore, which I have mastered, everything he loves. I want pleasure I want crazy hot lovemaking, but we cannot seem to get it right. I cannot completely blame him since I never really explained to him what I truly want…BTW …I am very shy and self-consciences. I am also a big girl, always have been even when we first met. This is in no way a problem because I always make sure our lovemaking happens in the dark. He has told me he doest care; he loves how I look and loves every bit of me. He would love to have sex in the light. So, now here comes the dirty side…I have a wild side he doest know about. I have caught him watching porn, and I sometimes give him grief about it; while all along I look at the stuff myself. I have always watched porn and masturbated to it, this started when I was a teenager. I love all types of porn all types of fetishes. I love masturbating to bondage, domination, bi-sex, you name I love it and am turned on by it…the dirtier the better. The simple stuff turns me on too, I love watching women and love love love to masturbate. The future hubby knows nothing about this. I would love to try some stuff I have watched but the thought of sharing it with him scares the crap out of me. He is no prune either…he loves sex too. I am just so fudging shy. The other thing is I am so turned on by women, I am absolutely sure I am bi, or at least bi-curious. I would never leave him, for a woman I love men I love my man, just secretly love looking at woman as well. The only thing is I could not tell him this, because him ex-wife left him when she realized she was a lesbian. Oh my, there a lot going on here…any thoughts?