How do you know when you've found The One?

Daofan Daofan
Maybe you guys can give me some advice. I am a college student out on my own and am looking for the right one. How do you exactly know when you found them and how do you even go about seeking them out?
08/26/2012
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Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by Daofan
Maybe you guys can give me some advice. I am a college student out on my own and am looking for the right one. How do you exactly know when you found them and how do you even go about seeking them out?
I don't know about seeking them out, because I met mine online completely by chance, but the way I knew was because not only did I feel that I could live with him and we could get along, but even the thought of a life without him can bring me to tears. I'd say you have that level of respect and loyalty, and I know that he is absolutely without a doubt my very best friend. When I realized (which didn't take very long in our case) that he matched all of the above, and everything that I needed and wanted most in a partner he had, I knew he was "the one"
08/26/2012
js250 js250
I 'knew' my husband the first time I ever saw him. We did not get together for a few years, were not madly in love, but just felt comfortable and right as friends, but had an instant odd bond. We were all wrong, both married to others when we met--but felt amazingly right together and still do.

The bond we have is stronger than hate, love, friendship and heartbreak. We just knew...never felt that right about any other person and it has worked for us 16 years. They have not been easy, we had to overcome some serious issues and are dealing with more, but we love each other and we cannot live happily without the other person. Basically, he loved me enough to stop abusing me physically and I loved him enough to stop being a loner that was impulsive, crazy(fun) and to think of consequences prior to the action. We bring out the best (and the worst) in each other, but still love the other person more than anything on earth.

Enough mush--we are amazing in bed together!!! Best sex ever, and we haven't discovered the half of it yet!! LOL, LMAO!!!
08/26/2012
Ganconagh Ganconagh
I don't think you can "seek out" The One...just something that happens. For me, I knew when I couldn't stop thinking about her and realized her happiness was more important to me than my own.
08/26/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
I didn't seek out my husband. I met him through a coworker and we became friends. I dated a few guys and we were still friends. He and I had crushes on each other but didn't say anything to the other. Finally we picked up on the hints and got together.

I knew he was the one because I'd known him so long and knew we got along well. I knew he could handle my bad times and I could handle his. I knew we'd be good together.

I fell in love with him at a parade back when we were just friends. I was drunk to the point of being ill. My boyfriend at the time just went off to have fun. My now husband let me sit in his truck (which he was in love with) and held my hair and my hand. He's always been there when I needed him and I've done the same for him.
08/26/2012
tami tami
you don't know exactly who is the right one...Hubby and I met in high school and after a few break ups early on in our lives, the next thing we know almost 30 years have went by and we have no idea where the time went. Anything can and does happen, is he the one? yes he is the one for me. Am I the one for him, well it sure seems that way...only time will tell. The right one is the one you are always thinking about, the one you don't want to be without, the one who would do anything for you and you would do anything for.
08/26/2012
Billie Bones Billie Bones
I don't believe in "the one". I think there are a ton of people you can be romantically and/or sexually compatible with. Find someone who makes you happy and stay with them until you aren't happy anymore. If that lasts forever for you, I guess they could be your one.
08/27/2012
hillys hillys
just relax, let life happen, I've noticed that things like that seem to happen to people who are not trying hard
04/17/2013
bayosgirl bayosgirl
My husband is my best friend, my confidant, my everything. It's so much more than a sexual/romantic relationship. I can be mad as hell at him and still feel love and think and worry about him.
04/17/2013
rosythorn rosythorn
I am wondering the same thing. I say whoever you marry is the one, but sometimes that doesn't work out either but that is how I am trying to look at it.
04/20/2013
Chastity Darling Chastity Darling
I don't think that there is just "One" for anybody. I think that it is not just attraction or love or some idea of fate that binds two people together.

The best advice I can give is not to look for someone. If you are looking for someone it is very easy to end up with the wrong someone... Mr/Mrs Right now rather than Mr/Mrs Right. I met my husband while in a relationship with someone else. There was an instant connection, but he was just supposed to be a fling... 4 years later and we have a child together and are married...

Just focus on you. What makes you happy, what you enjoy. spoil yourself but don't be afraid to open up and have some random conversations with strangers. A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet, and so much better if they become more than friends.

Have to add this: Married life isn't all sunshine and unicorn farts. Marriage takes so much f'n work and effort. A lot of compromise and disappointments, picking up the slack of your spouse when it is the last thing you want to do. It is not always 50/50... sometimes it is 70/30 and on rare occasions 90/10. I love my husband and wouldn't trade him for the world, but there are days I miss it being just me...
04/20/2013
Pete's Princess Pete's Princess
I also do not think there is only one person that is right for you. If you think that way you get caught up in trying to find someone perfect and there is no such thing. All relationships have their struggles, you just need to find someone who is worth it to you.

How I knew I was with the right one was when
*I realized that I was more the person I wanted to be when I was with him (happier, kinder, more spiritual, etc.)
* I realized that I did not even think about being with anyone else.
05/04/2013
kadelette kadelette
I love reading the opinions in this post. Great food for thought!
05/04/2013
DixieDoo DixieDoo
I never had a "list" of things I wanted in a man. However, if I had written a list, my boyfriend's qualities would be everywhere on that list and plus some. I cannot imagine being without him, he is my rock, my best friend, my lover, my partner in crime, etc., etc.

I usually cannot stand to be around the same person for a certain amount of extended time simply because people usually annoy me. I was blown away that I have never gotten tired or annoyed at my man being around. In fact, when he is gone, I miss him. That right there was a huge thing for me that made me realise how much he really means to me. It might sound simply or stupid, but it is the small things like this that made me realise that he is my one and only.
05/05/2013
Munko Munko
I'm not sure about "the one" as a concept I believe in, but I definitely believe it's possible to find a person you connect well enough with to stay with indefinitely.

For me, the first major sign was comfort. I was 18, insecure about myself and always felt awkward around men...I never quite felt pretty enough or like I was able to be 100% myself around them, I always felt like I had to put on some show or front, to keep them interested. With my Fiancé I instant felt totally comfortable being myself. It was like I'd known him my whole life after knowing him for 10 minutes. We just clicked and I felt accepted.

Next was our conversations - we could talk for hours and hours and hours about nothing. We still can.

I can spend 24/7 with him and not want to kill him. Sure we might get a bit snippy if we're together too much for too long, but I don't want to strangle him after 3 hours like I do most people. I am by nature a solitary person and have always liked my space so for me the fact that I am okay with him in my space all the time, is huge.

We just clicked so strongly and so instantly that I knew there had to be something extra special about our relationship from the very start
05/11/2013
xgreatlovex xgreatlovex
Quote:
Originally posted by Daofan
Maybe you guys can give me some advice. I am a college student out on my own and am looking for the right one. How do you exactly know when you found them and how do you even go about seeking them out?
I know my boyfriend is the one because when I'm with him I love every part of myself, I don't feel embarrassed about anything or feel the need to change. My past boyfriends were great but they only suited parts of my personality.
05/15/2013
Total posts: 16
Unique posters: 16