When Your Long Term Partner Lies

Love Bites Love Bites
What do you do when your partner lies to you?Not just a boyfriend, but a long term partner, like in a marriage?What about when they lie to you repeatedly,and it concerns the same thing each time?Do you stay, or leave, when you don't know what to do?
07/30/2011
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Elnoa Elnoa
I don't tolerate lies and am always open about my feelings and inclinations. Generally, if I find out someone is a liar, I dump them.
07/31/2011
Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by Love Bites
What do you do when your partner lies to you?Not just a boyfriend, but a long term partner, like in a marriage?What about when they lie to you repeatedly,and it concerns the same thing each time?Do you stay, or leave, when you don't know what to do?
Lying makes a mockery of trust, and I don't tolerate it.
07/31/2011
Love Bites Love Bites
Thank you. I feel like this too, but the person in question was trying to protect me, and forget his past. I don't want to leave him, but he has done it before. I just don't know what to do.
08/01/2011
Elnoa Elnoa
Well, is it more just "not telling you" or straight out lying?
08/01/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
I don't think I could deal with that situation. I have trouble trusting fully at the best of times and once I do, if they lie it makes me feel like a fool for believing in them. I DON'T like being made to feel like a fool and it just makes it even harder for me to trust others in the future.

It also makes me feel very insecure and not trust them in other areas. I personally stuggle in a situation where I don't feel secure.
08/01/2011
AmberM AmberM
To me, it all depends on the situation.. if it's huge lies...then leave..but if it's little things ("i washed the dishes honey" when he really didn't) isn't a HUGE problem, but if it keeps on I'd also leave him then..too.
08/01/2011
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by AmberM
To me, it all depends on the situation.. if it's huge lies...then leave..but if it's little things ("i washed the dishes honey" when he really didn't) isn't a HUGE problem, but if it keeps on I'd also leave him then..too.
I have to agree with this...I can live with 'oh I thought I picked up those socks' or things of that nature...but big things? I generally leave ASAP. Once trust is broken with me, it's damn near impossible to repair.
08/01/2011
Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by Love Bites
Thank you. I feel like this too, but the person in question was trying to protect me, and forget his past. I don't want to leave him, but he has done it before. I just don't know what to do.
Protection is not an excuse for lying or withholding information.
08/01/2011
Love Bites Love Bites
Quote:
Originally posted by Elnoa
Well, is it more just "not telling you" or straight out lying?
Its like I ask him to his face and he says no, and then I find out from someone else that isn't true. So, straight out lying.
08/02/2011
Love Bites Love Bites
Quote:
Originally posted by AmberM
To me, it all depends on the situation.. if it's huge lies...then leave..but if it's little things ("i washed the dishes honey" when he really didn't) isn't a HUGE problem, but if it keeps on I'd also leave him then..too.
It was about his ex, she has been stalking us and attacking me online. So, it bothers me that he has been lying about things concerning her. I don't know what else he hasn't been honest about in that regard.
08/02/2011
Love Bites Love Bites
Thanks for all the feedback.
08/02/2011
Lucky21 Lucky21
Quote:
Originally posted by Petite Valentine
Lying makes a mockery of trust, and I don't tolerate it.
Wow. I don't think I have ever heard this put so succinctly. I'm gonna use that!
08/02/2011
Love Bites Love Bites
Quote:
Originally posted by Lucky21
Wow. I don't think I have ever heard this put so succinctly. I'm gonna use that!
It was worded wonderfully, wasn't it? ^^
08/02/2011
Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by Petite Valentine
Lying makes a mockery of trust, and I don't tolerate it.
agree!
08/02/2011
Ansley Ansley
No one has the right to deny me the choice to make a decision and lying does exactly that and nothing more. If you aren't mature enough not to cover your ass or feel you can't be honest with me, you don't need to be around me.
08/02/2011
married with children married with children
if they are lying to you, it means that your relationship is not strong enough to talk the problem out. It takes the trust right out of the relationship. I feel you should be able to talk about anything when you are in a strong relationship.
08/02/2011
EJ EJ
I guess it depends on whether lying is acceptable to you personally (and to both of you as a couple). For us, it's deal-breaker. We can both deal with anger and arguing better than we can deal with dishonesty. We'd rather just "have it out" and be done with it. And really, it makes the relationship so much more comfortable, because we never have to second-guess one another. What we say is what we mean, so we're able to trust, relax and let down our guards with one another.
08/05/2011
Total posts: 18
Unique posters: 11