It might be more difficult in some ways due to societal norms/expectations, but extra adults in a household should be a plus, all thing being equal. I know many of straight traditionally married people who don't have the skill set required to care for a potted plant.
Children in a poly relationship?
09/02/2012
yes the kids are gonna get hurt if/when the relationship breaks up, but that is the case in any type. are u supposed to not have love if u have kids? as far as the kids knowing, its like anything else: age appropriate information, always there to answer questions, and keep the child's maturity level into consideration. and always explain to be careful who to tell and good luck finding a way...it's hard to explain to them that if the wrong people find out that they will call childrens services
as far as behavior in front of the kids..common sense and decency. no diff than any other relationship style
and kids are way smarter than u think and can handle way more than we give them credit for. (and are usually ecstatic to have more people who love them so much)
as far as behavior in front of the kids..common sense and decency. no diff than any other relationship style
and kids are way smarter than u think and can handle way more than we give them credit for. (and are usually ecstatic to have more people who love them so much)
09/19/2012
It just depends on the people involved. Our friends have 2 kids. These two kids are one mommy and two daddies. They all live together. The two daddies aren't romantic with each other, but they are family and are both romantically involved with the mother. One of them fathered the children, but is perfectly happy and okay with the kids calling the other man daddy as well. they differentiate by saying "daddy Steve" and "daddy John".
as long as there isn't sex in front of the children, or loud with the kids in the next room, there is nothing wrong with having poly relationships and children. As long as all people involved are dedicated to the kids, it's beautiful to have them grow up knowing that so many different kinds of love exist in the world.
With that same family, there was a 3rd man involved, and he was irresponsible. He wanted to be daddy as well, but he kept being absent, and so everytime the little boy saw him and he left, the little boy felt abandoned. They finally stopped involving the 3rd man in the child's life as a father figure. In a few years, when this man has gotten his act together better, he can be an uncle of sorts, if he wants, but the kids needs to heal from the emotional abuse of being abandoned several times.
as long as there isn't sex in front of the children, or loud with the kids in the next room, there is nothing wrong with having poly relationships and children. As long as all people involved are dedicated to the kids, it's beautiful to have them grow up knowing that so many different kinds of love exist in the world.
With that same family, there was a 3rd man involved, and he was irresponsible. He wanted to be daddy as well, but he kept being absent, and so everytime the little boy saw him and he left, the little boy felt abandoned. They finally stopped involving the 3rd man in the child's life as a father figure. In a few years, when this man has gotten his act together better, he can be an uncle of sorts, if he wants, but the kids needs to heal from the emotional abuse of being abandoned several times.
09/21/2012
Quote:
It depends on how you raise the child.
Originally posted by
chibi1091
Do you think it's responsible or irresponsible to bring children in to a polyamorous relationship?
09/21/2012
Don't know about that..
09/21/2012
I don't see anything wrong with it.
Poly people have loving stable relationships, if the kids are wanted, and loved, and parented, how is there anything wrong with that?
The children just get someone extra who loves them, how is there anything wrong with that?
Poly people have loving stable relationships, if the kids are wanted, and loved, and parented, how is there anything wrong with that?
The children just get someone extra who loves them, how is there anything wrong with that?
10/14/2012
I recently saw some studies done n this subject. Turns out the kids in stable poly households did just fine and had the added benefits of extra attention and income.
sounds like a good deal for everyone.
sounds like a good deal for everyone.
11/02/2012
I think it's okay.
11/03/2012
As with ANY relationship, it depends entirely on the dynamics of the specific parents-to-be. I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing, at all, to bring kids into a poly relationship.
11/18/2012
Being responsible parents doesn't have anything to do with someones sexual orientation.
11/19/2012
Quote:
Agreed.
Originally posted by
Jul!a
I think it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. Some monogamous couples aren't responsible enough for children, but some are. Some polyamorous relationships might not be the best environment for a child, but having three or more awesome
...
more
I think it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. Some monogamous couples aren't responsible enough for children, but some are. Some polyamorous relationships might not be the best environment for a child, but having three or more awesome parents in one house? That could be even better than having just two awesome parents in one house. I really don't see what sexual orientation or preference for number of partners has on somebody's ability to be a good parent. Some people are good parents, some are not, and I don't think it's fair to make a blanket statement (even if it's just an opinion) on whether or not people in polyamorous relationships are making a responsible or irresponsible choice by bringing children into it, because it really boils down to the individual people involved.
less
11/21/2012
Quote:
For me it would be how they handled the relationship responsibly or not, not necessarily a poly relationship BEING irresponible or not
Originally posted by
chibi1091
Do you think it's responsible or irresponsible to bring children in to a polyamorous relationship?
12/04/2012
I don't see the difference.
12/10/2012
Quote:
Sounds like a happy family and children!!
Originally posted by
Airen Wolf
Why thank you Sweetheart! I agree whole heartedly. There are some people I wouldn't want parenting regardless of their sexual preference or how many partners they hav in their beds and some people I know would be excellent parents scared to
...
more
Why thank you Sweetheart! I agree whole heartedly. There are some people I wouldn't want parenting regardless of their sexual preference or how many partners they hav in their beds and some people I know would be excellent parents scared to death because of their totally monogamous parents' style of child rearing.
My kids are better for the safety and security having three parents offers. They have all the advantages any child could ask for and they want for nothing. They have a full time stay at home Mom, a father that works from home, and a father that works 12 hour shifts and goes to college. They see what hard work, commitment and negotiation gets you in life. Oh and just for good measure, not even the two year old is confused about who Daddy is! That's just silly thinking, we don't learn who are parents are by never having interaction with other parents.
Anyhow, it isn't responsible or irresponsible to bring children into a poly relationship. There's nothing wrong with loving more than one partner and being happy! Why should children be denied the chance to see their parents happy, productive and loving? Why do we never ask if it's responsible to bring children into monogamous relationships? The stress and strain in raising children is the same regardless of the number of co-parents involved.
Makes me wonder what people who vote "irresponsible" think goes on in a poly household... less
My kids are better for the safety and security having three parents offers. They have all the advantages any child could ask for and they want for nothing. They have a full time stay at home Mom, a father that works from home, and a father that works 12 hour shifts and goes to college. They see what hard work, commitment and negotiation gets you in life. Oh and just for good measure, not even the two year old is confused about who Daddy is! That's just silly thinking, we don't learn who are parents are by never having interaction with other parents.
Anyhow, it isn't responsible or irresponsible to bring children into a poly relationship. There's nothing wrong with loving more than one partner and being happy! Why should children be denied the chance to see their parents happy, productive and loving? Why do we never ask if it's responsible to bring children into monogamous relationships? The stress and strain in raising children is the same regardless of the number of co-parents involved.
Makes me wonder what people who vote "irresponsible" think goes on in a poly household... less
02/10/2013
Quote:
Agree to this. Complicated question really because it's not something I have ever experienced.
Originally posted by
Cherry21
I agree here. And I don't think that any child is gonna care how/what sexual orientation their parent's are as long as they're loved and in a happy home!
02/10/2013
It's neither responsible or irresponsible by virtue of only being poly. It's kind of irrelevant to me, if anything. So long as the adults in the kid's life are good caregivers, nuturing, and not physically or emotionally abusive I really don't care how many of them are in the picture, or what kind of intimate relations they have.
02/11/2013
Dear god, I have already added my response to this topic, but it's late at night and I read the title very wrong.
02/11/2013
Quote:
i agree with this!
Originally posted by
Jul!a
I think it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. Some monogamous couples aren't responsible enough for children, but some are. Some polyamorous relationships might not be the best environment for a child, but having three or more awesome
...
more
I think it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. Some monogamous couples aren't responsible enough for children, but some are. Some polyamorous relationships might not be the best environment for a child, but having three or more awesome parents in one house? That could be even better than having just two awesome parents in one house. I really don't see what sexual orientation or preference for number of partners has on somebody's ability to be a good parent. Some people are good parents, some are not, and I don't think it's fair to make a blanket statement (even if it's just an opinion) on whether or not people in polyamorous relationships are making a responsible or irresponsible choice by bringing children into it, because it really boils down to the individual people involved.
less
to meit's the same principle as a child who moves between different homes where they may have a step-parent or their parent has a new partner. One is never actually obligated to become a parent to that child, but so long as they're a responsible, caring and supportive individual what dose it matter about the schematics of the relationship. Yes parents should maybe talk to their children about the relationship, but theres no reason it would effect the child in any sort of negative way.
02/11/2013
tough situation; gotta do whats right for each family with regards to letting the kid have the same choice!
02/26/2013
Quote:
I agree. I was also wondering about the level of awareness of the people who voted against poly with kids, but I understand that this is supposed to be a nurturing and productive discussion, so I decided to keep my opinionated mouth to myself.
Originally posted by
Airen Wolf
Why thank you Sweetheart! I agree whole heartedly. There are some people I wouldn't want parenting regardless of their sexual preference or how many partners they hav in their beds and some people I know would be excellent parents scared to
...
more
Why thank you Sweetheart! I agree whole heartedly. There are some people I wouldn't want parenting regardless of their sexual preference or how many partners they hav in their beds and some people I know would be excellent parents scared to death because of their totally monogamous parents' style of child rearing.
My kids are better for the safety and security having three parents offers. They have all the advantages any child could ask for and they want for nothing. They have a full time stay at home Mom, a father that works from home, and a father that works 12 hour shifts and goes to college. They see what hard work, commitment and negotiation gets you in life. Oh and just for good measure, not even the two year old is confused about who Daddy is! That's just silly thinking, we don't learn who are parents are by never having interaction with other parents.
Anyhow, it isn't responsible or irresponsible to bring children into a poly relationship. There's nothing wrong with loving more than one partner and being happy! Why should children be denied the chance to see their parents happy, productive and loving? Why do we never ask if it's responsible to bring children into monogamous relationships? The stress and strain in raising children is the same regardless of the number of co-parents involved.
Makes me wonder what people who vote "irresponsible" think goes on in a poly household... less
My kids are better for the safety and security having three parents offers. They have all the advantages any child could ask for and they want for nothing. They have a full time stay at home Mom, a father that works from home, and a father that works 12 hour shifts and goes to college. They see what hard work, commitment and negotiation gets you in life. Oh and just for good measure, not even the two year old is confused about who Daddy is! That's just silly thinking, we don't learn who are parents are by never having interaction with other parents.
Anyhow, it isn't responsible or irresponsible to bring children into a poly relationship. There's nothing wrong with loving more than one partner and being happy! Why should children be denied the chance to see their parents happy, productive and loving? Why do we never ask if it's responsible to bring children into monogamous relationships? The stress and strain in raising children is the same regardless of the number of co-parents involved.
Makes me wonder what people who vote "irresponsible" think goes on in a poly household... less
That being said, after reading the posts of people who voted "no" I'm a little frustrated at the willingness to vote without knowing anything about the topic. Being poly isn't about sleeping around with random people. It's about more than two people committing themselves to each other. I really don't care for the mindset that many people have that bases their negative views on "the kids being exposed to that". Who has sex in front of their kids? I wish people would do a little more research before being so quick to poll their opinion.
04/16/2013
Quote:
(nod) I get that leveled at me more often than not....How will I react when (never if) my girls are promiscuous? I will gently remind them to see the Doctor at least twice a year and make sure they have the ability to access condoms. After that it's none of my business. My sex life is not their concern and I have never had sex in front of them or demonstrated any sexual acts, though I did show them how to put on a condom using a glass dildo that wasn't terribly realistic. I didn't feel a banana was accurate and the girls giggled that they hadn't felt the need to make love to a banana...
Originally posted by
Unconventional
I agree. I was also wondering about the level of awareness of the people who voted against poly with kids, but I understand that this is supposed to be a nurturing and productive discussion, so I decided to keep my opinionated mouth to myself.
...
more
I agree. I was also wondering about the level of awareness of the people who voted against poly with kids, but I understand that this is supposed to be a nurturing and productive discussion, so I decided to keep my opinionated mouth to myself.
That being said, after reading the posts of people who voted "no" I'm a little frustrated at the willingness to vote without knowing anything about the topic. Being poly isn't about sleeping around with random people. It's about more than two people committing themselves to each other. I really don't care for the mindset that many people have that bases their negative views on "the kids being exposed to that". Who has sex in front of their kids? I wish people would do a little more research before being so quick to poll their opinion. less
That being said, after reading the posts of people who voted "no" I'm a little frustrated at the willingness to vote without knowing anything about the topic. Being poly isn't about sleeping around with random people. It's about more than two people committing themselves to each other. I really don't care for the mindset that many people have that bases their negative views on "the kids being exposed to that". Who has sex in front of their kids? I wish people would do a little more research before being so quick to poll their opinion. less
My daughters are 14 and 16 and they admit to only a mild interest in boys and they are very aware that there is no "one true and only love" out there. They are contemptuous of possessive and covetous "love" and have refused to be involved with boys who demand or act jealous because they do not feel that jealousy equals love. So if they should wind up being promiscuous I would be very shocked but I trust them to act responsibly and take care of their bodies. It is, after all, what they have seen all three of their parents model.
04/18/2013
I agree with many of the comments about the fitness of the parents to raise children being the determining factor, not their sexuality. The more I read in this thread, the more impressed I am by all the 'enlightened' people & the well articulated replies. I do agree with a previous poster, this all sounds like the brouhaha over gay parents!
Airen Wolf, you are a fabulous ambassador for polyamory!
Airen Wolf, you are a fabulous ambassador for polyamory!
04/18/2013
I think it depends on the situation and people's interpretation of polyamory. Some see it as a hall pass to sleep around while others stay true to its meaning, creating caring RELATIONSHIPS (not talking marriage stuff here) with multiple people. These are people that you treat as individuals, get to know etc..Not sex partners who just show up, get it on, and leave. In the end, it depends on the dynamics and personalities of everyone involved.
04/18/2013
Quote:
I was going to say this exactly. It was a joint long term study done by psychologists and sociologists. The stats were that kids were more likely to be well adjusted compared to monogamous numbers.
Originally posted by
PinkySt
I recently saw some studies done n this subject. Turns out the kids in stable poly households did just fine and had the added benefits of extra attention and income.
sounds like a good deal for everyone.
sounds like a good deal for everyone.
04/18/2013
Quote:
I was hoping you'd post here, I always appreciate your opinions and thoughts Thanks for sharing with us!
Originally posted by
Airen Wolf
Why thank you Sweetheart! I agree whole heartedly. There are some people I wouldn't want parenting regardless of their sexual preference or how many partners they hav in their beds and some people I know would be excellent parents scared to
...
more
Why thank you Sweetheart! I agree whole heartedly. There are some people I wouldn't want parenting regardless of their sexual preference or how many partners they hav in their beds and some people I know would be excellent parents scared to death because of their totally monogamous parents' style of child rearing.
My kids are better for the safety and security having three parents offers. They have all the advantages any child could ask for and they want for nothing. They have a full time stay at home Mom, a father that works from home, and a father that works 12 hour shifts and goes to college. They see what hard work, commitment and negotiation gets you in life. Oh and just for good measure, not even the two year old is confused about who Daddy is! That's just silly thinking, we don't learn who are parents are by never having interaction with other parents.
Anyhow, it isn't responsible or irresponsible to bring children into a poly relationship. There's nothing wrong with loving more than one partner and being happy! Why should children be denied the chance to see their parents happy, productive and loving? Why do we never ask if it's responsible to bring children into monogamous relationships? The stress and strain in raising children is the same regardless of the number of co-parents involved.
Makes me wonder what people who vote "irresponsible" think goes on in a poly household... less
My kids are better for the safety and security having three parents offers. They have all the advantages any child could ask for and they want for nothing. They have a full time stay at home Mom, a father that works from home, and a father that works 12 hour shifts and goes to college. They see what hard work, commitment and negotiation gets you in life. Oh and just for good measure, not even the two year old is confused about who Daddy is! That's just silly thinking, we don't learn who are parents are by never having interaction with other parents.
Anyhow, it isn't responsible or irresponsible to bring children into a poly relationship. There's nothing wrong with loving more than one partner and being happy! Why should children be denied the chance to see their parents happy, productive and loving? Why do we never ask if it's responsible to bring children into monogamous relationships? The stress and strain in raising children is the same regardless of the number of co-parents involved.
Makes me wonder what people who vote "irresponsible" think goes on in a poly household... less
I honestly have to agree with Sam and Airen Wolf, it really doesn't matter if the people involved are poly, it does depend however on the individuals. Anyone can have children but it takes work, dedication and love to raise them to be functioning adults.
04/18/2013
Total posts: 55
Unique posters: 51
- 1
-
2