Children in a poly relationship?

ToyGeek ToyGeek
It might be more difficult in some ways due to societal norms/expectations, but extra adults in a household should be a plus, all thing being equal. I know many of straight traditionally married people who don't have the skill set required to care for a potted plant.
09/02/2012
closed account closed account
yes the kids are gonna get hurt if/when the relationship breaks up, but that is the case in any type. are u supposed to not have love if u have kids? as far as the kids knowing, its like anything else: age appropriate information, always there to answer questions, and keep the child's maturity level into consideration. and always explain to be careful who to tell and good luck finding a way...it's hard to explain to them that if the wrong people find out that they will call childrens services

as far as behavior in front of the kids..common sense and decency. no diff than any other relationship style

and kids are way smarter than u think and can handle way more than we give them credit for. (and are usually ecstatic to have more people who love them so much)
09/19/2012
smlove smlove
It just depends on the people involved. Our friends have 2 kids. These two kids are one mommy and two daddies. They all live together. The two daddies aren't romantic with each other, but they are family and are both romantically involved with the mother. One of them fathered the children, but is perfectly happy and okay with the kids calling the other man daddy as well. they differentiate by saying "daddy Steve" and "daddy John".
as long as there isn't sex in front of the children, or loud with the kids in the next room, there is nothing wrong with having poly relationships and children. As long as all people involved are dedicated to the kids, it's beautiful to have them grow up knowing that so many different kinds of love exist in the world.
With that same family, there was a 3rd man involved, and he was irresponsible. He wanted to be daddy as well, but he kept being absent, and so everytime the little boy saw him and he left, the little boy felt abandoned. They finally stopped involving the 3rd man in the child's life as a father figure. In a few years, when this man has gotten his act together better, he can be an uncle of sorts, if he wants, but the kids needs to heal from the emotional abuse of being abandoned several times.
09/21/2012
Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by chibi1091
Do you think it's responsible or irresponsible to bring children in to a polyamorous relationship?
It depends on how you raise the child.
09/21/2012
Nykatron Nykatron
Don't know about that..
09/21/2012
Bodhi Bodhi
I don't see anything wrong with it.

Poly people have loving stable relationships, if the kids are wanted, and loved, and parented, how is there anything wrong with that?

The children just get someone extra who loves them, how is there anything wrong with that?
10/14/2012
PinkySt PinkySt
I recently saw some studies done n this subject. Turns out the kids in stable poly households did just fine and had the added benefits of extra attention and income.

sounds like a good deal for everyone.
11/02/2012
Leather & Lace Leather & Lace
I think it's okay.
11/03/2012
Puss in Boots Puss in Boots
As with ANY relationship, it depends entirely on the dynamics of the specific parents-to-be. I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing, at all, to bring kids into a poly relationship.
11/18/2012
Rory Rory
Being responsible parents doesn't have anything to do with someones sexual orientation.
11/19/2012
RememberMe RememberMe
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I think it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. Some monogamous couples aren't responsible enough for children, but some are. Some polyamorous relationships might not be the best environment for a child, but having three or more awesome ... More
Agreed.
11/21/2012
rmiles124 rmiles124
Quote:
Originally posted by chibi1091
Do you think it's responsible or irresponsible to bring children in to a polyamorous relationship?
For me it would be how they handled the relationship responsibly or not, not necessarily a poly relationship BEING irresponible or not
12/04/2012
Genderfree Genderfree
I don't see the difference.
12/10/2012
marriedlady123 marriedlady123
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Why thank you Sweetheart! I agree whole heartedly. There are some people I wouldn't want parenting regardless of their sexual preference or how many partners they hav in their beds and some people I know would be excellent parents scared to ... More
Sounds like a happy family and children!!
02/10/2013
mjtheprincess mjtheprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by Cherry21
I agree here. And I don't think that any child is gonna care how/what sexual orientation their parent's are as long as they're loved and in a happy home!
Agree to this. Complicated question really because it's not something I have ever experienced.
02/10/2013
MasqueVivi MasqueVivi
It's neither responsible or irresponsible by virtue of only being poly. It's kind of irrelevant to me, if anything. So long as the adults in the kid's life are good caregivers, nuturing, and not physically or emotionally abusive I really don't care how many of them are in the picture, or what kind of intimate relations they have.
02/11/2013
Genderfree Genderfree
Dear god, I have already added my response to this topic, but it's late at night and I read the title very wrong.
02/11/2013
bratcat bratcat
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I think it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. Some monogamous couples aren't responsible enough for children, but some are. Some polyamorous relationships might not be the best environment for a child, but having three or more awesome ... More
i agree with this!

to meit's the same principle as a child who moves between different homes where they may have a step-parent or their parent has a new partner. One is never actually obligated to become a parent to that child, but so long as they're a responsible, caring and supportive individual what dose it matter about the schematics of the relationship. Yes parents should maybe talk to their children about the relationship, but theres no reason it would effect the child in any sort of negative way.
02/11/2013
Ayogirl230 Ayogirl230
tough situation; gotta do whats right for each family with regards to letting the kid have the same choice!
02/26/2013
Unconventional Unconventional
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Why thank you Sweetheart! I agree whole heartedly. There are some people I wouldn't want parenting regardless of their sexual preference or how many partners they hav in their beds and some people I know would be excellent parents scared to ... More
I agree. I was also wondering about the level of awareness of the people who voted against poly with kids, but I understand that this is supposed to be a nurturing and productive discussion, so I decided to keep my opinionated mouth to myself.

That being said, after reading the posts of people who voted "no" I'm a little frustrated at the willingness to vote without knowing anything about the topic. Being poly isn't about sleeping around with random people. It's about more than two people committing themselves to each other. I really don't care for the mindset that many people have that bases their negative views on "the kids being exposed to that". Who has sex in front of their kids? I wish people would do a little more research before being so quick to poll their opinion.
04/16/2013
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Unconventional
I agree. I was also wondering about the level of awareness of the people who voted against poly with kids, but I understand that this is supposed to be a nurturing and productive discussion, so I decided to keep my opinionated mouth to myself. ... More
(nod) I get that leveled at me more often than not....How will I react when (never if) my girls are promiscuous? I will gently remind them to see the Doctor at least twice a year and make sure they have the ability to access condoms. After that it's none of my business. My sex life is not their concern and I have never had sex in front of them or demonstrated any sexual acts, though I did show them how to put on a condom using a glass dildo that wasn't terribly realistic. I didn't feel a banana was accurate and the girls giggled that they hadn't felt the need to make love to a banana...

My daughters are 14 and 16 and they admit to only a mild interest in boys and they are very aware that there is no "one true and only love" out there. They are contemptuous of possessive and covetous "love" and have refused to be involved with boys who demand or act jealous because they do not feel that jealousy equals love. So if they should wind up being promiscuous I would be very shocked but I trust them to act responsibly and take care of their bodies. It is, after all, what they have seen all three of their parents model.
04/18/2013
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
I agree with many of the comments about the fitness of the parents to raise children being the determining factor, not their sexuality. The more I read in this thread, the more impressed I am by all the 'enlightened' people & the well articulated replies. I do agree with a previous poster, this all sounds like the brouhaha over gay parents!

Airen Wolf, you are a fabulous ambassador for polyamory!
04/18/2013
PassionQT PassionQT
I think it depends on the situation and people's interpretation of polyamory. Some see it as a hall pass to sleep around while others stay true to its meaning, creating caring RELATIONSHIPS (not talking marriage stuff here) with multiple people. These are people that you treat as individuals, get to know etc..Not sex partners who just show up, get it on, and leave. In the end, it depends on the dynamics and personalities of everyone involved.
04/18/2013
KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
Quote:
Originally posted by PinkySt
I recently saw some studies done n this subject. Turns out the kids in stable poly households did just fine and had the added benefits of extra attention and income.

sounds like a good deal for everyone.
I was going to say this exactly. It was a joint long term study done by psychologists and sociologists. The stats were that kids were more likely to be well adjusted compared to monogamous numbers.
04/18/2013
Kitka Kitka
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Why thank you Sweetheart! I agree whole heartedly. There are some people I wouldn't want parenting regardless of their sexual preference or how many partners they hav in their beds and some people I know would be excellent parents scared to ... More
I was hoping you'd post here, I always appreciate your opinions and thoughts Thanks for sharing with us!

I honestly have to agree with Sam and Airen Wolf, it really doesn't matter if the people involved are poly, it does depend however on the individuals. Anyone can have children but it takes work, dedication and love to raise them to be functioning adults.
04/18/2013
  • 1
  • 2
Total posts: 55
Unique posters: 51