Coming out as poly

KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
So, we are a stable group. My boyfriend and I come from more liberal families and have come out to them without much fuss, but my husband does not and we have not.

We are at a point where it is looking a little weird to have a room mate that goes everywhere and does everything with us, so we are thinking about coming out to hubby's family.

We are looking to buy a house and part of our down payment is boyfriend's money. Plus, we'll probably be having some kind of commitment ceremony soon because he is a life partner to us. I totally want everyone to be in the loop long before children enter the picture, because I don't want my kids to have to deal with all the bs and hurt feelings.

I was wondering if anyone had advice about how to bring it to them in a calm manner that would educate them instead of offending them. We don't want them to blow up because they feel attacked.

Any advice or storied would be helpful.
04/16/2013
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Ciao. Ciao.
I can't offer any advice from a poly relationship standpoint, but I have had those coming out experiences with my family and friends.

My suggestions would be to just have you and your hubby there for the discussion with the the family. Tell them you have something important to talk to them about, set aside some time, and just be open and honest. If you can pull together some good writing about successful/healthy poly relationships that you can share with them even better.

Be prepared to answer awkward questions, be ready to have some people confused/upset, and be ready to do some followup. Just really stress that this is what makes you as a couple whole and happy.

Coming out as poly has to be a little more foreign than even coming out as trans, but both are definitely more difficult than coming out as gay/lesbian because they're just more foreign to most people's experiences.

Seems like definitely a good conversation to have before you have any kids.
04/16/2013
KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
Quote:
Originally posted by Ciao.
I can't offer any advice from a poly relationship standpoint, but I have had those coming out experiences with my family and friends.

My suggestions would be to just have you and your hubby there for the discussion with the the family. ... More
Thanks for the feedback. I need to try to not get defensive.

I encounter a lot of "well this is weird and just a choice, so stop it" when I tell more conservative folks. It may be a choice, but it is one that makes us happy. /headdesk
04/18/2013
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Unique posters: 2