Do people (potential partners) take you seriously?

Contributor: PinkySt PinkySt
Because I get the feeling that I'm not being taken seriously, and it's really causing me a lot of frustration.

It feels like the women I become interested in just flat out think I'm only in it for kicks, even the poly women I talk to seem to feel this way. Like I'm a guy at a bar looking for a one night stand. Granted I am married to a heterosexual cis-man and personally identify as pansexual, but I don't see how these things automatically put me into the "hit it and quit it" category.

It's totally aggravating and I would love to know if others have been able to overcome this.
09/04/2012
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Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by PinkySt
Because I get the feeling that I'm not being taken seriously, and it's really causing me a lot of frustration.

It feels like the women I become interested in just flat out think I'm only in it for kicks, even the poly women I talk ... more
I can't say that potential partners have ever taken me as a one night stand kinda girl. This could be due to the fact that I've been with my husband for over 25 years and our partner for nearing 10.

It could speak more about the type of people you are encountering rather than some lack in yourself. Perhaps what these people are trying to say is they are looking for a one night stand or perceive your relationship dynamic of only offering a one night stand sort of deal.

I know this can be frustrating but think of it this way: you are able to avoid the heartbreak of investing time and energy on people who aren't willing to share what they think upfront. The right person will come along, probably when you least expect it. Just keep on loving!
09/04/2012
Contributor: PinkySt PinkySt
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I can't say that potential partners have ever taken me as a one night stand kinda girl. This could be due to the fact that I've been with my husband for over 25 years and our partner for nearing 10.

It could speak more about the type ... more
Well I've been with my husband for nearly 9 years, you would think that might show some type of inclination towards commitment but I guess it doesn't.

Maybe it's because I'm meeting people online? I work odd hours and it's not like there are any poly meeting places where I am, so getting dates the old fashioned way seems a bit far fetched.
09/07/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by PinkySt
Well I've been with my husband for nearly 9 years, you would think that might show some type of inclination towards commitment but I guess it doesn't.

Maybe it's because I'm meeting people online? I work odd hours and it's ... more
That could be an issue but I met our life partner online in an MMORPG so it could just be the type of people you are meeting online. This isn't an easy lifestyle and like most love connections it kinda happens spontaneously. Chin up! The right person (people?) is (are) looking for you just as hard as you are looking for them. It'll happen but you have a wonderful man at home to share your frustration with in the meantime!
09/08/2012
Contributor: PinkySt PinkySt
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
That could be an issue but I met our life partner online in an MMORPG so it could just be the type of people you are meeting online. This isn't an easy lifestyle and like most love connections it kinda happens spontaneously. Chin up! The right ... more
Lol that reminds me, my husband and i started on the poly path because we both fell for our mmos guild leader XD

Still thanks for the kind words, it feels like I've just been encountering nothing but rejection lately and its getting to me. Hopefully we can find someone someday :3
09/08/2012