How did you get into poly?

joja joja
I'm curious how different people have come to identify as polyamorous, especially since we're such a diverse group (especially in terms of age). Some were introduced by partners or friends, some found it through the internet, some through other alternative communities (like BDSM or Burners), and still others seem to have come up with it on their own, only discovering later that it had a name.

What was your path?
12/07/2011
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Daisie Daisie
Quote:
Originally posted by joja
I'm curious how different people have come to identify as polyamorous, especially since we're such a diverse group (especially in terms of age). Some were introduced by partners or friends, some found it through the internet, some through ... More
For us, it was through the BDSM community. We've been locally active for many years, and so have had many play partners for a variety of scenes (flogging, caning, waxing, needle play, fire cupping, etc). Each of those encounters gets negotiated for just that scene, just that one time. I think that the mindset of negotiating with others for play that is primarily nonsexual but can be VERY sexual sets the stage for a polyamorous mindset. A person may be going outside of their primary relationship and being asked to trust someone, just like you have to do in any kind of relationship.

Trust builds over time. You build relationships over time. Although sometimes, you can be hit with a new relationship like a brick. During that first play scene you don't know what to expect. It's the same with polyamory, and everyone's experiences will be different.

For us personally, some relationships have been short, less than six months, others have been longer. I lost a woman who I thought was my life partner, and her son along with her. My "primary" or foundational relationship is my marriage of twenty one years, even though I'm not currently living with my husband. There are no rights and wrongs, and every day is a learning experience.
12/07/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by joja
I'm curious how different people have come to identify as polyamorous, especially since we're such a diverse group (especially in terms of age). Some were introduced by partners or friends, some found it through the internet, some through ... More
We are one of the ones who sort of found out later it had a name I knew I loved both men and so it became more than just sex.
12/07/2011
Vallin Sfas Vallin Sfas
The girl I loved from the 5th-7th grade (and beyond) broke my heart. But she turned me on to 'Circus' Magazine and Led Zeppelin. Polyamory was the next logical step. That was 37 years ago.
12/30/2011
Vallin Sfas Vallin Sfas
Quote:
Originally posted by Vallin Sfas
The girl I loved from the 5th-7th grade (and beyond) broke my heart. But she turned me on to 'Circus' Magazine and Led Zeppelin. Polyamory was the next logical step. That was 37 years ago.
I met an MENSA Englishwoman in 1986 from a personal ad, and she was the first person to use the actual word "Polyamorous" (and my first bisexual witch). I knew exactly what she meant by syllabic derivation, but you haven't been hot for a woman until you've heard "Polyamorous" with a British accent (my other fetish).
12/30/2011
callsignhusker callsignhusker
The show Penn and Teller's Bullshit gave me a name for what I wanted. They had an episode on family values and interviewed people in a polyamorous relationship. Once I saw the episode I realized that's what I've been searching for. Unfortunately I haven't found anyone for my fiancee and I yet (anyone in NJ? ha ha...but seriously...) but we're working on it!
01/02/2012
thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
I was in a "monogamish" relationship with a partner who I was very committed to, but we had fairly loos boundaries about what we could do with others. A girl we knew expressed interest in both of us, and after a lot of talking, cuddling, and fucking, we officially became a triad. It all happened pretty fast - we're all in college together.
05/18/2012
Total posts: 7
Unique posters: 6