I am in a polyamorous relationship. My partners know about each other and everything is very above board.
How many of you are in open relationships?
Tricky, tricky! This question is odd for me. With my husband I am not, at all, interested in opening the relationship. But with past partners I have been very open to the idea of polygamy/polyandry. I think the ability to be in that sort of relationship is completely and utterly dependent on the mindset and trust of ALL people involved and its very hard to find a collection of people without issues to have a truly open relationship with.
02/20/2010
Quote:
Just a nitpick polygamy means many marriages, polygyny is many women and polyandry is many men.
Originally posted by
Keeshia
Tricky, tricky! This question is odd for me. With my husband I am not, at all, interested in opening the relationship. But with past partners I have been very open to the idea of polygamy/polyandry. I think the ability to be in that sort of
...
Tricky, tricky! This question is odd for me. With my husband I am not, at all, interested in opening the relationship. But with past partners I have been very open to the idea of polygamy/polyandry. I think the ability to be in that sort of relationship is completely and utterly dependent on the mindset and trust of ALL people involved and its very hard to find a collection of people without issues to have a truly open relationship with.
02/23/2010
Quote:
I know, used because I'm -married- and would be more than happy to have many husbands. I excluded polygyny in light of the fact that I have yet to have a partner interested in having more than one wife (even though its not off my radar).
Originally posted by
Airen Wolf
Just a nitpick polygamy means many marriages, polygyny is many women and polyandry is many men.
02/23/2010
My relationship is sexually open. Its hard to handle sometimes. He isn't a very jealous person. I'm a somewhat jealous person but I think it comes from a place of insecurity and not being rational. I often have to remind myself
1) Just because a girl is hotter or better in bed than me doesn't mean he'll want to be with her. If the person I'm with would leave me for someone for a reason like that then he isn't someone I should be with (luckily he isn't)
2) Monogamy has never worked for me in the past. And as much as I love my boyfriend and as great as the sex we have is, he is NOT the last person I ever want to screw and he feels the same way.
3) possessiveness and jealousy are ugly ugly ugly.
As for dating, I could never share my boyfriend in that sense. I am very prone to needing to feel special, as while my boyfriend putting his dick in someone doesn't affect that but knowing he wants to come home and curl up with me after (after a shower plz haha) is something I need.
1) Just because a girl is hotter or better in bed than me doesn't mean he'll want to be with her. If the person I'm with would leave me for someone for a reason like that then he isn't someone I should be with (luckily he isn't)
2) Monogamy has never worked for me in the past. And as much as I love my boyfriend and as great as the sex we have is, he is NOT the last person I ever want to screw and he feels the same way.
3) possessiveness and jealousy are ugly ugly ugly.
As for dating, I could never share my boyfriend in that sense. I am very prone to needing to feel special, as while my boyfriend putting his dick in someone doesn't affect that but knowing he wants to come home and curl up with me after (after a shower plz haha) is something I need.
02/23/2010
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Ahhh that makes sense I would LOVE to be able to marry both my guys, mainly because my marriage isn't in a place where we are comfortable being together but not married and our life partner wants me to make an honest man of him LOL! All joking aside I would love to be able to say my husbands instead of husband and life partner...though they have both said they will never call themselves "brother-husbands". My husband says he will be skinned alive and fed piece by piece to rabid squirrels before getting married again...then he usually throws up his fists and yells "You'll never trick me again you nasty women!" I'm unsure why seriously though he says he can't imagine ever wanting to be with someone else like he is with me which is nice but it was nice when we shared a girlfriend, I kinda miss those days.
Originally posted by
Keeshia
I know, used because I'm -married- and would be more than happy to have many husbands. I excluded polygyny in light of the fact that I have yet to have a partner interested in having more than one wife (even though its not off my radar).
02/23/2010
xchairitycasex
I am a little oldfashioned i suppose im certian my boyfriend would love having two women at once~what man wouldnt? but my body is far to personal a thing to me i wont even go to a male doctor. i do not check out other people thinking about what they look like naked i dont think ohh hes cute and imagine him giving me pleasure. i just cant its almost a disgusting thought to me. and as far as my boyfriend is concernd i have seen the damage done to friends,aunts,cosins,s ister even my mom when they have been cheated on and it just makes me so angry i could bare living with a man who held hands or kissed another person much less slept with them. i feel if i can be honest and loyal to someone why cant someone be that for me? if an open relationship is what my boyfrined wanted i would just leave i would not be angry if he came out and told me i would wish him the best prolly stay friends but leave.
02/28/2010
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I am all for it. I have not started anything as of yet. Would love to take my fantsy to the reality instead of a dream. Not sure about the whole relationship with the extra person. I think I would have a hard time with being involved emotionally with two or more peeps. If it is understood as just for sex I could do that. I am not an emotional person anyways. Even being married. I am pretty much about the sex and skip all the relationship stuff. It is just been easier that way in my life.
Originally posted by
Owl Identified
I see a lot of posters here talking about wives/husbands or boyfriends/girlfriends . I wonder: how many of you are in open relationships? Open for our purposes will mean that you have sexual and/or romantic partners other than your significant
...
I see a lot of posters here talking about wives/husbands or boyfriends/girlfriends . I wonder: how many of you are in open relationships? Open for our purposes will mean that you have sexual and/or romantic partners other than your significant other.
So how about it? Where do you stand?
So how about it? Where do you stand?
02/28/2010
Liras
I have not had an open relationship but I am open to one, with the right person. Love is love, lust is lust, reality is in the middle. A man can love and desire me yet have need of and interest in another woman. I am of the mind that if he wants it and I can trust him to be truthful, we will work it out. Open means honest and with boundaries, not just doing whatever, in my opinion. But I am not possessive or jealous. Nor do I think that a man who is shagging me is prone to be totally satisfied only with me. That is not a slight nor is he to be demonized for his sexual desires.
That would also apply to me, if I decided that I wanted an additional lover. I tend to be too busy for more than one man!
I would not handle a live-in poly relationship. Whatever is done would be done away from my bed and we would not share a person between us.
Give me the truth, even if it will cause me to pause.
That would also apply to me, if I decided that I wanted an additional lover. I tend to be too busy for more than one man!
I would not handle a live-in poly relationship. Whatever is done would be done away from my bed and we would not share a person between us.
Give me the truth, even if it will cause me to pause.
03/01/2010
I'm not in an open relationship, and I'm not sure if I could really operate well in one that is entirely open. I think it would have to be a connected sort of thing - like if he wanted me to be with someone specific, and to watch, that'd be ok (or the other way around). I could see a threesome happening if we found the right third. But, I don't like the idea of myself or him going out and getting it on with another person.
03/20/2010
I chose I am in relationship that is monogamous, but I am open to the idea of a non-monogamous relationship, because the way our relationship works is tricky.
We are currently monogamous, but M has the right to sleep with or be in a relationship with whomever he chooses. The only requirement is that he be honest with me. However, if I find myself interested in having sex or a relationship with someone else, I have to ask his permission.
We are currently monogamous, but M has the right to sleep with or be in a relationship with whomever he chooses. The only requirement is that he be honest with me. However, if I find myself interested in having sex or a relationship with someone else, I have to ask his permission.
03/20/2010
I would like to have one, but my husband is firmly against it except in the case of other women. Honestly, I don't much care for women beyond the visual and occasional grope, so that doesn't fulfill the desires that drove me to open negotiations on an open relationship in the first place.
I doubt I'll ever talk him around to it: his first wife cheated on him and I think he sees it as cheating for another man and I to be involved ever for any reason. I wouldn't mind him with other women (or men, for that matter, if that's how he cared to go), but a relationship is never the wishes of just one person.
I doubt I'll ever talk him around to it: his first wife cheated on him and I think he sees it as cheating for another man and I to be involved ever for any reason. I wouldn't mind him with other women (or men, for that matter, if that's how he cared to go), but a relationship is never the wishes of just one person.
04/05/2010
Quote:
I have been in poly relationships before, so am not opposed to the idea. But given the drama that my BF and I have been through in the last year, we are not likely to open the relationship up again.
Originally posted by
Owl Identified
I see a lot of posters here talking about wives/husbands or boyfriends/girlfriends . I wonder: how many of you are in open relationships? Open for our purposes will mean that you have sexual and/or romantic partners other than your significant
...
I see a lot of posters here talking about wives/husbands or boyfriends/girlfriends . I wonder: how many of you are in open relationships? Open for our purposes will mean that you have sexual and/or romantic partners other than your significant other.
So how about it? Where do you stand?
So how about it? Where do you stand?
04/05/2010
Quote:
Just wondering and I know it's absolutely none of my business.. but, why do you have to ask permission and not your partner?
Originally posted by
Rayne Millaray
I chose I am in relationship that is monogamous, but I am open to the idea of a non-monogamous relationship, because the way our relationship works is tricky.
We are currently monogamous, but M has the right to sleep with or be in a ...
We are currently monogamous, but M has the right to sleep with or be in a ...
I chose I am in relationship that is monogamous, but I am open to the idea of a non-monogamous relationship, because the way our relationship works is tricky.
We are currently monogamous, but M has the right to sleep with or be in a relationship with whomever he chooses. The only requirement is that he be honest with me. However, if I find myself interested in having sex or a relationship with someone else, I have to ask his permission.
We are currently monogamous, but M has the right to sleep with or be in a relationship with whomever he chooses. The only requirement is that he be honest with me. However, if I find myself interested in having sex or a relationship with someone else, I have to ask his permission.
I've never been in a relationship with more than one partner. I did date a few men at the same time, but we weren't sexually active. I'm very naive when it comes to a topic like this.
04/05/2010
Quote:
It is exactly like opening a Pandora's box! Every little white lie you've told yourself or your partner becomes glaringly obvious and every little jealousy you've denied or renamed comes sharply into focus. Still it CAN work and it CAN be satisfying for many people. So can monogamy...you just have to know yourself and know what your limits and boundaries are. Any relationship regardless of the numbers of partners requires communication, negotiation, and a sense of fair play.
Originally posted by
Stripers
Never had an open relationship but from what I hear having one is like opening pandora's box...it's just not a good idea. ALTHOUGH it obviously works for many people
04/21/2010
Quote:
Usually in a situation where one partner has to ask permission where the other is understood to already have permission there is an element of BDSM. If the one partner is submissive or going further and is "owned" then they ask permission for just about everything agreed upon by the particular couple. If the Dominant has received or demanded permission in advance then it is assumed that they do not have to seek approval for any choice.
Originally posted by
Gardenvy
Just wondering and I know it's absolutely none of my business.. but, why do you have to ask permission and not your partner?
I've never been in a relationship with more than one partner. I did date a few men at the same time, but we ...
I've never been in a relationship with more than one partner. I did date a few men at the same time, but we ...
Just wondering and I know it's absolutely none of my business.. but, why do you have to ask permission and not your partner?
I've never been in a relationship with more than one partner. I did date a few men at the same time, but we weren't sexually active. I'm very naive when it comes to a topic like this.
I've never been in a relationship with more than one partner. I did date a few men at the same time, but we weren't sexually active. I'm very naive when it comes to a topic like this.
That being said, in most D/s relationships both partners will seek and receive permission for sex outside the relationship whether it is overt or handled another way. The drive to remain disease and drama free is the same in any relationship that is open necessitating open communication regardless of the "status" of each partner. For a healthy relationship concern for the feelings and well being of each partner is paramount, especially when boundaries are being tested or pushed. A loving Dominant won't wish to cause their sub(s) permanent harm either physically or emotionally, the emphasis being on permanent harm, a bit of emotional or physical pain can be what a D/s relationship thrives on. It totally depends on the individual relationship. There are some D/s couplings where others are not involved and it is understood that no one else will ever be invited in for various reasons.
04/21/2010
Quote:
The last line X 50.
Originally posted by
Airen Wolf
It is exactly like opening a Pandora's box! Every little white lie you've told yourself or your partner becomes glaringly obvious and every little jealousy you've denied or renamed comes sharply into focus. Still it CAN work and it CAN be
...
It is exactly like opening a Pandora's box! Every little white lie you've told yourself or your partner becomes glaringly obvious and every little jealousy you've denied or renamed comes sharply into focus. Still it CAN work and it CAN be satisfying for many people. So can monogamy...you just have to know yourself and know what your limits and boundaries are. Any relationship regardless of the numbers of partners requires communication, negotiation, and a sense of fair play.
While I've toyed with the idea of an open relationship, it just sounds too exhausting for me. I'm also fully satisfied with my boyfriend, and have realized lately that monogamy actually turns me on, though having a healthy and robust fantasy life helps too. I like calling him "my man", and I like when he calls me "my woman", though of course we don't own each other in any way.
04/21/2010
Quote:
Airen, Thank You for the information. I must sound absolutely naive. I guess I am in truth. Thanks again
Originally posted by
Airen Wolf
Usually in a situation where one partner has to ask permission where the other is understood to already have permission there is an element of BDSM. If the one partner is submissive or going further and is "owned" then they ask permission
...
Usually in a situation where one partner has to ask permission where the other is understood to already have permission there is an element of BDSM. If the one partner is submissive or going further and is "owned" then they ask permission for just about everything agreed upon by the particular couple. If the Dominant has received or demanded permission in advance then it is assumed that they do not have to seek approval for any choice.
That being said, in most D/s relationships both partners will seek and receive permission for sex outside the relationship whether it is overt or handled another way. The drive to remain disease and drama free is the same in any relationship that is open necessitating open communication regardless of the "status" of each partner. For a healthy relationship concern for the feelings and well being of each partner is paramount, especially when boundaries are being tested or pushed. A loving Dominant won't wish to cause their sub(s) permanent harm either physically or emotionally, the emphasis being on permanent harm, a bit of emotional or physical pain can be what a D/s relationship thrives on. It totally depends on the individual relationship. There are some D/s couplings where others are not involved and it is understood that no one else will ever be invited in for various reasons.
That being said, in most D/s relationships both partners will seek and receive permission for sex outside the relationship whether it is overt or handled another way. The drive to remain disease and drama free is the same in any relationship that is open necessitating open communication regardless of the "status" of each partner. For a healthy relationship concern for the feelings and well being of each partner is paramount, especially when boundaries are being tested or pushed. A loving Dominant won't wish to cause their sub(s) permanent harm either physically or emotionally, the emphasis being on permanent harm, a bit of emotional or physical pain can be what a D/s relationship thrives on. It totally depends on the individual relationship. There are some D/s couplings where others are not involved and it is understood that no one else will ever be invited in for various reasons.
04/22/2010
I was in a committed polyamorous relationship with a man who is one of my best friends. I've been very good friends with his wife for a while now and she was perfectly fine with our relationship. She and I had no interaction together aside from two friends hanging out and having a good time. He and I had our romantic relationship and whatnot. We ended our romance because I ultimately want more and to get married one day. It worked for us and I'm not opposed to my future relationship including a mutual play partner for both my partner and myself, but a full on relationship with someone is something that I probably would not be okay with.
I want to be the apple of my partner's eye and not another person. Yes, I'm open to being open on occasion, but not on the constant basis. I am definitely not polyamorous, but open. And yes, there IS a difference.
I want to be the apple of my partner's eye and not another person. Yes, I'm open to being open on occasion, but not on the constant basis. I am definitely not polyamorous, but open. And yes, there IS a difference.
04/22/2010
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There's a BIG difference between wanting to be open to the possibility of a shared sexual experience and wanting to be open to the possibility of a romantic attachment with two or more people. I've done both and I prefer the attachment, Sigel has done both and the thought of a "romantic tangle" (his words) puts him off his feed. Arch would love for me to be his one and only but appreciates that he is free to accept love from where ever it comes without fear of losing what he already has.
Originally posted by
VieuxCarre
I was in a committed polyamorous relationship with a man who is one of my best friends. I've been very good friends with his wife for a while now and she was perfectly fine with our relationship. She and I had no interaction together aside from
...
I was in a committed polyamorous relationship with a man who is one of my best friends. I've been very good friends with his wife for a while now and she was perfectly fine with our relationship. She and I had no interaction together aside from two friends hanging out and having a good time. He and I had our romantic relationship and whatnot. We ended our romance because I ultimately want more and to get married one day. It worked for us and I'm not opposed to my future relationship including a mutual play partner for both my partner and myself, but a full on relationship with someone is something that I probably would not be okay with.
I want to be the apple of my partner's eye and not another person. Yes, I'm open to being open on occasion, but not on the constant basis. I am definitely not polyamorous, but open. And yes, there IS a difference.
I want to be the apple of my partner's eye and not another person. Yes, I'm open to being open on occasion, but not on the constant basis. I am definitely not polyamorous, but open. And yes, there IS a difference.
Basically what I'm trying to say is: it takes all kinds to make a well rounded community. I think we are in danger of becoming very, very round here at EF, don't you?
04/22/2010
sweet sally
I didn't vote because it would be other. My BF and I have another couple we "play" with at times. It's mainly just the other woman and myself and the men watch.
There's no "partner swaping". Meaning the men do not penetrate the other person's partner, only their own.
As far as one of us being able to have sex with another partner on our own, that would be comletely unacceptable to us.
There's no "partner swaping". Meaning the men do not penetrate the other person's partner, only their own.
As far as one of us being able to have sex with another partner on our own, that would be comletely unacceptable to us.
05/10/2010
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We are lifestylers and have enjoyed some wonderful short term and long term relationships. In fact, we are currently in our 3rd year with another wonderful couple. It is not always easy and many couples fail. Multiple couple relationships can definitely be more complex than a standard one, but it is worth it.
Originally posted by
Owl Identified
I see a lot of posters here talking about wives/husbands or boyfriends/girlfriends . I wonder: how many of you are in open relationships? Open for our purposes will mean that you have sexual and/or romantic partners other than your significant
...
I see a lot of posters here talking about wives/husbands or boyfriends/girlfriends . I wonder: how many of you are in open relationships? Open for our purposes will mean that you have sexual and/or romantic partners other than your significant other.
So how about it? Where do you stand?
So how about it? Where do you stand?
05/22/2010
So far it's working for my spouse and I. The longer we have lived like this, the easier it gets to just relax and enjoy friendships. We have kept our priorities straight and always put honesty at the top of the list. Open relationships take TWO like-minded and open-minded individuals to make it work. They can either be successful or fail miserably. My husband became emotional with a couple of his past bf's, and I can't even begin to tell you some of the drama that ensued. As for me, I'm beyond that. Too much drama for me to even go there and no desire to either. I certainly grow fond of certain friends, but my heart lies with my primary partner and he is irreplaceable.
05/23/2010
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Totally with you on this! Very well said
Originally posted by
Gunsmoke
As a young buck this concept seemed interesting - but I've never had the time or emotional energy to support more than one significant other. When I was young STDs were an inconvenience - now their deadly!
It's so reassuring that I can ...
It's so reassuring that I can ...
As a young buck this concept seemed interesting - but I've never had the time or emotional energy to support more than one significant other. When I was young STDs were an inconvenience - now their deadly!
It's so reassuring that I can enjoy the affections of my lover without condoms, dams - or fear of STDs.
However to me the most important factor is that I am invested 100% in helping my mate achieve her maximum erotic potential. It's so emotionally rewarding when things work out.
We're on a life long journey to please one another - there isn't anything that is more rewarding.
I hold no animosity fro those who take other paths - I'm just couldn't be happier with our choice to remain faithful to eachother.
It's so reassuring that I can enjoy the affections of my lover without condoms, dams - or fear of STDs.
However to me the most important factor is that I am invested 100% in helping my mate achieve her maximum erotic potential. It's so emotionally rewarding when things work out.
We're on a life long journey to please one another - there isn't anything that is more rewarding.
I hold no animosity fro those who take other paths - I'm just couldn't be happier with our choice to remain faithful to eachother.
05/25/2010
We have been in the swing lifestyle for a few years now and are very happy with our relationship together and our relationship with the few select couples that we have chosen to share ourselves with. It is not for everyone and there are many in the lifestyle for the wrong reasons, but this can be true for almost type of relationship.
06/06/2010