If your long term boyfriend wants you to have a relationship with his wife and you don't get along, can it work?
Dude is coming off as a really selfish person---a girlfriend AND a wife, and now he wants you two to be buddy-buddy when he knows you don't get along well? All kinds of red flags are popping up around this question.
Along those same lines, I think this is one of those situations where if you have to ask, the answer is probably "no".
Along those same lines, I think this is one of those situations where if you have to ask, the answer is probably "no".
10/28/2011
I will respectfully disagree with the pack on this one. I am assuming that your long term boyfriend's wife knows about you and that you and she just don't seem to be able to see eye to eye.
I was in the same situation, myself, with my current guys. BOTH guys loved me but couldn't be in the same room alone without a referee! what it took was me stepping out of the middle and telling them that I loved them both but I wasn't responsible for their relationship...they had to build that for themselves. It was a MAJOR leap of faith and tested all my patience and courage but we went from "I love you but HE drives me nuts" to a wonderful month long living arrangement where they started planning seriously how to make it permanent.
Get him out of the middle and really look to see why he loves this woman. He has the good taste to love you so chances are she is a wonderful person as well. If jealousy is the issue tackle it head on, if it's a personality clash look for the good in her and build on that foundation. Find SOMETHING that you two have in common and use that as a building block.
Now, mind you, if his wife is being cheated on by both of you then get out now and save yourself the heartache. That's a situation I have never seen work and I have seen it end in the ultimate tragedy....
I was in the same situation, myself, with my current guys. BOTH guys loved me but couldn't be in the same room alone without a referee! what it took was me stepping out of the middle and telling them that I loved them both but I wasn't responsible for their relationship...they had to build that for themselves. It was a MAJOR leap of faith and tested all my patience and courage but we went from "I love you but HE drives me nuts" to a wonderful month long living arrangement where they started planning seriously how to make it permanent.
Get him out of the middle and really look to see why he loves this woman. He has the good taste to love you so chances are she is a wonderful person as well. If jealousy is the issue tackle it head on, if it's a personality clash look for the good in her and build on that foundation. Find SOMETHING that you two have in common and use that as a building block.
Now, mind you, if his wife is being cheated on by both of you then get out now and save yourself the heartache. That's a situation I have never seen work and I have seen it end in the ultimate tragedy....
11/04/2011
I don't understand the question.
Does your boyfriend and his wife have an open polyamorous relationship? Do they have consent to have sex with other people? Or does he want you to be "friends" with her, while she doesn't know you and he have a sexual situation?
Consent is the key. If the three of you are having sex together then of course, you'll have to get along. If he is simply poly without his wife present, but she knows what is happening and if fine with it, then it's different.
I have NO idea if you get along with her. If he's cheating behind her back, I think it is a recipe for disaster. If the three of you have a poly relationship, then all of you will need to decide what relationship you and his wife will be in.
Does your boyfriend and his wife have an open polyamorous relationship? Do they have consent to have sex with other people? Or does he want you to be "friends" with her, while she doesn't know you and he have a sexual situation?
Consent is the key. If the three of you are having sex together then of course, you'll have to get along. If he is simply poly without his wife present, but she knows what is happening and if fine with it, then it's different.
I have NO idea if you get along with her. If he's cheating behind her back, I think it is a recipe for disaster. If the three of you have a poly relationship, then all of you will need to decide what relationship you and his wife will be in.
11/05/2011
Quote:
i agree with p'gell.
Originally posted by
P'Gell
I don't understand the question.
Does your boyfriend and his wife have an open polyamorous relationship? Do they have consent to have sex with other people? Or does he want you to be "friends" with her, while she doesn't know you and he have ...
Does your boyfriend and his wife have an open polyamorous relationship? Do they have consent to have sex with other people? Or does he want you to be "friends" with her, while she doesn't know you and he have ...
I don't understand the question.
Does your boyfriend and his wife have an open polyamorous relationship? Do they have consent to have sex with other people? Or does he want you to be "friends" with her, while she doesn't know you and he have a sexual situation?
Consent is the key. If the three of you are having sex together then of course, you'll have to get along. If he is simply poly without his wife present, but she knows what is happening and if fine with it, then it's different.
I have NO idea if you get along with her. If he's cheating behind her back, I think it is a recipe for disaster. If the three of you have a poly relationship, then all of you will need to decide what relationship you and his wife will be in.
Does your boyfriend and his wife have an open polyamorous relationship? Do they have consent to have sex with other people? Or does he want you to be "friends" with her, while she doesn't know you and he have a sexual situation?
Consent is the key. If the three of you are having sex together then of course, you'll have to get along. If he is simply poly without his wife present, but she knows what is happening and if fine with it, then it's different.
I have NO idea if you get along with her. If he's cheating behind her back, I think it is a recipe for disaster. If the three of you have a poly relationship, then all of you will need to decide what relationship you and his wife will be in.
11/05/2011
I think it really depends... I feel like if you both care for the guy, then you should be able to find some common ground--even if it's only the fact that you both love him. It's really an open ended question, though.. I guess it really depends on how YOU feel about it. Even if you don't "love" him (don't know what the situation is!) you have to decide if you feel like it's worth it.
I'd sit down and talk with his wife, then decide!
I'd sit down and talk with his wife, then decide!
11/10/2011
Quote:
THIS!
Originally posted by
P'Gell
I don't understand the question.
Does your boyfriend and his wife have an open polyamorous relationship? Do they have consent to have sex with other people? Or does he want you to be "friends" with her, while she doesn't know you and he have ...
Does your boyfriend and his wife have an open polyamorous relationship? Do they have consent to have sex with other people? Or does he want you to be "friends" with her, while she doesn't know you and he have ...
I don't understand the question.
Does your boyfriend and his wife have an open polyamorous relationship? Do they have consent to have sex with other people? Or does he want you to be "friends" with her, while she doesn't know you and he have a sexual situation?
Consent is the key. If the three of you are having sex together then of course, you'll have to get along. If he is simply poly without his wife present, but she knows what is happening and if fine with it, then it's different.
I have NO idea if you get along with her. If he's cheating behind her back, I think it is a recipe for disaster. If the three of you have a poly relationship, then all of you will need to decide what relationship you and his wife will be in.
Does your boyfriend and his wife have an open polyamorous relationship? Do they have consent to have sex with other people? Or does he want you to be "friends" with her, while she doesn't know you and he have a sexual situation?
Consent is the key. If the three of you are having sex together then of course, you'll have to get along. If he is simply poly without his wife present, but she knows what is happening and if fine with it, then it's different.
I have NO idea if you get along with her. If he's cheating behind her back, I think it is a recipe for disaster. If the three of you have a poly relationship, then all of you will need to decide what relationship you and his wife will be in.
Feb 4, 12:30 pm
Total posts:
23
Unique posters: 20
Unique posters: 20