Interested in Having Sugar Daddies?

Contributor: Sugarfina Sugarfina
Hi, Please don't judge. I want some honest input. I want to know how many of you are also interested in this.

So my fiancee and I are planning to get married October 2013 or 2014 but we are dead broke and I don't have a job because I'm a felon and I can't find a lot of people who will hire me (please don't ask, it's a sensitive topic), so I've been looking to find a sugar daddy for help. Now Cody doesn't want me to do it and I've been having to hide it, but he's smart. He says he'll leave me if I continue with it, I feel like I'm cheating but I really need the money. Others think it's like prostitution, but it's possible to find sugar daddies out there who just want companionship. I really need help and I'm interested in polygamies anyway. I do love Cody however and it's very hard. We dont even have running water and it's not like he's not good enough, but I just have a huge conflict here.

What do you think I should do?

I am also getting ready to start a new relationship with an old friend that I wanted to have a polygamy with before, known as Jake. Cody doesn't like it. Hmmmm. But I do? Is Cody the wrong guy then? Am I a slut?
02/10/2013
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Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
There are worse things to do for money as I am sure you already know but there is also always SOMEONE who is willing to help. You gotta have the courage to look around and find them. I know it's often difficult and unfair for people who are convicted to find employment and I feel for you.

Honestly, only you can answer most of your questions. Is having a Sugar Daddy wrong? Not in my book but it is a form of prostitution...but then again so is marrying someone for their bank account. I don't have a problem with prostitution so long as it's willing and responsible. It's a commodity as is any talent you "rent" out to interested buyers whether it's your time, talents, or your body. It is a dangerous occupation though that can lead to real serious abuse, however and this isn't a perfect world where you CAN trade your body, on your own terms, for money.

As for whether your guy isn't the best person for you to be with...again only you can answer that. He seems to want monogamy and if you are unable to come to terms with that then perhaps it's time to allow him the opportunity to find someone who can. If he is also a felon then it certainly complicates the whole job issue but once again there ARE people who will take a chance on a felon you might have to stretch beyond your comfort zone, however.

Wanting polyamorous relationships doesn't make you a slut...then again being a slut isn't necessarily a bad thing. Liking sex and liking a variety of sexual partners doesn't make you a bad person how you go about doing it all determines that. Loving many is difficult and when you are flat broke it can be nearly impossible simply because of the need to get your basic necessities met. You simply don't have the energy to invest in adult processing when you need to secure a roof over your head, food for your table and clothes for your back.

You sound like you are in a rough place. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts. I know you have the strength and courage to overcome this.
02/11/2013
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Airen said it better than I could have.

I always say I have the ability and capability to be polyamorous (and at one time I was) but I chose to be monogamous because that is what works best for My Man and I. We've talked about opening the relationship again, but I don't think it would work for us at this point.

As for the Sugar Daddy thing, it's OK if both you and your man are onboard. I've seen many Poly relationships work. BUT, the one thing successful Poly relationships have is honesty. You can't be a "secret Poly" as there would not be consent from your man and it would eventually blow up in your face and people (including yourself) would be hurt. It's something that only works if both people in the first relationship agree on, even if only one of them practices polyamorous activities.

Like Airen said, there are things you can do, (and I agree that it's sad that people who have felony convictions for non-violent crimes can't get hired in a lot of places) A LOT of people won't check references if you can undercut the local house cleaning services. As for Child Care, it would depend on the type of felony you were convicted of, and the laws in your state. A lot of people can get into Direct Selling (anything from Tupperware to kitchen appliances to sex toys)

Also, talk to your Parole Officer. (Or whoever was in charge of your release.) She should (and should by law) be able to get you into a job training program with a placement at the end if you do well.

No judgement at all, I think getting a Sugar Daddy while you are in a relationship where your man is uncomfortable with the idea could only lead to trouble. Many people who need to live a Poly lifestyle only are happy when they have partners who have similar beliefs about Polyamorism.

Good luck. I'd call your PO and/or get into a job training program.
02/11/2013
Contributor: Sugarfina Sugarfina
thank you guys. You said some really good advice and I will keep it all in mind. I am still pretty much addicted to the sugar daddy scene but haven't found the right sugar daddy yet. You're right Airen, it is a form of prostitution. I'm not a big fan of that, I suppose I'm just desperate for money and gifts, which somehow I feel is pathetic on my part. I however am a new representative for Avon so I told Cody that if money comes in on a regular basis from that from now on then I'll drop the sugar daddy scene completely.

The other guy I have to learn to let go because he's not happy and neither is Cody and I need to do what is fair to them. Cody is #1 but maybe one day in the future he will be open to another girl or guy in our relationship.

You are both right. There has to be total honesty and acceptance. Cody has to be okay with it. Then we can move from there. And I know he's the right guy. It's just a tough spot we're trying to get through.

Thank you so much for the advice.
02/14/2013
Contributor: Noelle Noelle
Quote:
Originally posted by Sugarfina
Hi, Please don't judge. I want some honest input. I want to know how many of you are also interested in this.

So my fiancee and I are planning to get married October 2013 or 2014 but we are dead broke and I don't have a job because ... more
No u aren't a slut. As long as it doesn't ruin your relationship with Cody I say go for it. I know what its like as far as the felony thing goes. My best friend is a felon. No one wants to hire her. Good luck my friend!
02/14/2013
Contributor: Ayogirl230 Ayogirl230
i've considered it too!
02/25/2013
Contributor: Sugarfina Sugarfina
Quote:
Originally posted by Ayogirl230
i've considered it too!
That's awesome.
02/25/2013
Contributor: Sugarfina Sugarfina
So does anyone on EF has a sugar daddy or want one? I'mreally interested to hear what you think?
03/06/2013
Contributor: Ayogirl230 Ayogirl230
Quote:
Originally posted by Sugarfina
So does anyone on EF has a sugar daddy or want one? I'mreally interested to hear what you think?
i see postings on craigslist for them all the time and it peaks my curiosity.
03/06/2013
Contributor: DoneWithAlltheLies DoneWithAlltheLies
So this is a bit late, but if you can get to the point of affording a stable internet connection, you might want to look into webcam modeling as an occupation. It's a similar scene in the sense of guys paying to see your face and talk to you, but you're not physically interacting with them. Heck, you could even have a couples account where Cody performs with you if you're on a site that allows it. It's not instant riches or anything, but you can get to the point of making at least minimum wage pretty quickly and work your way up in from there over time.
03/18/2013