Is it possible to successfully close a relationship that was previously open?

Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Another perspective: What are some of the issues that come up when you decide to close your relationship after being previously open? Were there issues that cropped up that you didn't expect? How did you deal with jealousy and possessiveness issues that crop up in any relationship? Did you have any feelings of loneliness after closing your relationship?
03/23/2012
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catsin catsin
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Another perspective: What are some of the issues that come up when you decide to close your relationship after being previously open? Were there issues that cropped up that you didn't expect? How did you deal with jealousy and possessiveness ... More
In my experience I didn't feel lonely after closing the relationship, but I found our sex life intrigued me less.

I find that if jealousy is happening on both sides, it's good to be monogamous for a little while and wait to see what develops from the monogamy. If jealousy is on ONE side, discussing this openly and honestly with your partner will help determine how to solve the matter.

Sometimes more information and open communication about other partners is needed. Other times less is better. It all depends on who you and your partner are as individuals.

The key to polyamory is knowing and communicating clearly your boundaries, needs and desires! Compromise and forgiveness can only get you so far before they start damaging a relationship!
03/24/2012
Sir Sir
I feel that closing a relationship that was once open makes a huge change in both how things are run and the interaction between the partners. They no longer are allowed to look, they cannot have intimate relationships with others, and they cannot play in any way, shape, or form with people aside from the main partner.

For me, being monogamous, I do not experience any loneliness once a relationship is closed. It feels more relaxing, actually. But I do not know if that really answers your question. I've been starting any relationship that I've had lately as open until further notice, so when they have closed, it's felt better for me since I am monogamous. I cannot really say the same for the people I was with, however.
03/25/2012
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
I feel that closing a relationship that was once open makes a huge change in both how things are run and the interaction between the partners. They no longer are allowed to look, they cannot have intimate relationships with others, and they cannot ... More
Actually Sir you and Catsin did answer my question. For me the jealousy and possessiveness as well as loneliness and stress was unbearable when I was in a monogamous relationship. So maybe there is something to this whole "wired" business.
I know I can be totally happy and content in a closed relationship but I need to be able to look and know that my partner is enjoying looking as well...if that makes sense. There has to be a degree of openness for me to be truly happy.
I'm hoping to get some more replies as htis is the perfect counter question to the whole "Can you open a closed relationship" question.
03/26/2012
xxjoel xxjoel
I don't see why not.
03/29/2012
Total posts: 5
Unique posters: 4