threesomes

sexybunni1388 sexybunni1388
OK my husband wants a threesome. And I have absolutely no problem with that. Its just none of my friends are open to doing it partly because they are all in relationships. And he doesn't want to do it with a stranger. I don't know what to do any more and I'm definitely open to ANY suggestions. Part of it is that he has an appetite that is constantly growing and when we try something new its fine, but after one time its old to him so i guess my second question is how do i keep keeping things new?
04/22/2010
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shepegs shepegs
Quote:
Originally posted by sexybunni1388
OK my husband wants a threesome. And I have absolutely no problem with that. Its just none of my friends are open to doing it partly because they are all in relationships. And he doesn't want to do it with a stranger. I don't know what to do ... More
So where does it stop? I mean, at some point something's gotta give if his appetite is the driving force behind it all.
04/22/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
A threesome is a can of worms that can have disasterous effects on a relationship that isn't ready for the inevitable outcomes. My question to you would be how badly do YOU want to have a threesome. If you aren't 100% sure you want to do this then for goodness sake don't do it. The first time you have a threesome it is awkward and can be emotionally devastating. Do some reading, there are so many online resources devoted to the desire for threesomes as well as opening a relationship. Make an informed decision not one based on doing what will make one of you happy.

That being said there are many ways to keep it fresh and exciting! One great scenario is the whole "stranger sex" fantasy. Set a scene where you are meeting for the first time. Have a casual one night stand with your partner, pretend you are running a spa and are a "good girl" who normally doesn't...(whatever kinky thing you want to play act). You get the idea, dress up and make it as real as possible.
Getting a pocket pussy can also help in pretending to have a threesome. Read stories about threesomes together, please remember that these are best case scenarios and most encounters aren't "magical" or even very fun.

As a poly person involved in a triad with a swinger and a monogamist I can say with complete authority that going outside your relationship should be something you think about, read about, discuss, think some more, talk to others, and then probably forget doing. If, however, your relationship is solid and you are very sure you or your partner aren't going to forget where home is then it can add something indescribably wonderful.

I wish you luck and if you have any questions/concerns feel free to email me.
04/27/2010
*Ashley* *Ashley*
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
A threesome is a can of worms that can have disasterous effects on a relationship that isn't ready for the inevitable outcomes. My question to you would be how badly do YOU want to have a threesome. If you aren't 100% sure you want to do this ... More
I completely agree! I cant top what she just said!
05/07/2010
Crystal_Rose Crystal_Rose
Quote:
Originally posted by *Ashley*
I completely agree! I cant top what she just said!
Ditto
05/07/2010
Dragon Dragon
Quote:
Originally posted by sexybunni1388
OK my husband wants a threesome. And I have absolutely no problem with that. Its just none of my friends are open to doing it partly because they are all in relationships. And he doesn't want to do it with a stranger. I don't know what to do ... More
Here we go again...

There are a lot of posts about threesomes and lot of good information. Please go read ever post on this site

My husband wanted a threesome. The desire did NOT go away, and I now recognize that it never really will. Some things run deep even if they aren't expressed as a "must have."

Don't spend years of your life discussing this as a maybe or moving into it slowly. Get information. Know that it's a huge emotional step. Know that the sex is fantastic. Know that there are huge pitfalls and a lot of relationships fail.

Consider counseling with a therapist that supports alternate sexuality and what that means. Right now. Just to understand more.

Ask your husband if this is something he fantasizes about a lot and doesn't really mention.
05/08/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by sexybunni1388
OK my husband wants a threesome. And I have absolutely no problem with that. Its just none of my friends are open to doing it partly because they are all in relationships. And he doesn't want to do it with a stranger. I don't know what to do ... More
You know I just realized we didn't answer your question! I really don't know of any way to have a threesome with a friend if your friends aren't interested! I guess you could look for a nearby swingers group/association and see if they have socials or meet and greets. Another place might be a social networking site where you could get to know someone who might be interested in a one night thing (or a couple who would be interested). Remember to check for health reports and practice safer sex (had to add the public announcement).

As far as keeping it fresh that's something you have to do on an individual basis. Sigel is exactly the same way as your boyfriend, he meets a woman he finds atractive but gets bored quickly. It sounds awful but it's really the problem that he will not share his heart with anyone but me...he is too frightened of the consequences. It sounds like what he needs is a friend with benefits AKA the mythical unicorn. What he might be able to get is a nice swinger's group with whom he could be anonymous and know that this is only about the sex, it's ot about building a relationship. Might spark him a bit more.

Does he have someone in mind that he'd like to have sex with? Would you bne hurt and angry if he said he did? It IS possible to love two people at the same time and often it starts with just plain old attraction, then again it is possible to only want to have sex with someone without the commitment. Were I you I would talk with him some more, find out if he's already got someone in mind or if maybe some roleplaying would satisfy the itch until you can find a woman or man with whom you feel comfortable enough to have a threesome.

I appologize for automatically assuming that your boyfriend was trying to talk you into the experience. It sounds like you are primed and ready just lacking the partner. My advice would be the same though, take it slow and find the best third you can. Someone you both are attracted to and someone who understands the limits of what you are offering. Good luck in your search!
05/21/2010
trios trios
I too have had the strong sexual impulse to have a threesome with my wife, a MFM, hence my name on EF. The jealousy I feel when the thought of another guy in our bed is also a turn on for me - it gets my heart pumpin'! For me there is a lot of psyche background into it, including reasons and particular nature/race of the other guy. TMI for you, but you didn't say whether it was an MFM or FMF.

But... since we are married and we both respect our marriage vows, we have been using dildos for threesome play on 'my night'. (Hers is to cuddle more as foreplay). It actually does the trick for us, since my wife only wants me anyways, and the dildo looks real enough to get me going. In this way we maintain monogomy and fidelity while allowing me to explore my wild side.

On the flip side of that, if he wants an FMF threesome, then IMHO he is disrespecting you. I usually don't offer too many opinions really, but you both must decide what your wedding vows really meant to you on your wedding day. marriage used to be sacred (it is after all a sacrament) and things do change over time, esp libido among others. He sounds pretty selfish to try to wedge another women between you. It may be challenging to stay together for the rest of your lives, but you (two) are not alone; there are plenty of resources out there. I did not pressure nor will I ever pressure my wife into having another man. Period.

If it is his appetite that is mismatched with yours, then get him an artificial vagina and call it different names on different days of the week! I think Airen's first advice is the wisest response yet.

Sorry for the heated and long-winded response, but I feel that I was in his shoes a while back and have had to do some soul searching to deal with this lust. Ultimately I have found the answer: that life takes discipline, and sacrifice. You and he must choose what is really important, before it is too late.
05/30/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by trios
I too have had the strong sexual impulse to have a threesome with my wife, a MFM, hence my name on EF. The jealousy I feel when the thought of another guy in our bed is also a turn on for me - it gets my heart pumpin'! For me there is a lot of ... More
As long as he is not coercing her it's not disrespecting anything. Besides if it isn't disrespectful for you to desire a MFM why would it be disrespectful to want a MFF? Surely if your wife looked at you one day and said "Sure why not?" to your desire would she be disrespecting you? There are a lot of reasons why married people swing or decide to enter polyamory. This isn't what Sexibunny1388 and her husband are contemplating. They both want the experience they just don't know how to find a compatible third. It is a quandry when your friends are happy in their own relationships and don't particularly want to add something new...I wouldn't advocate asking a friend anyhow, but I can attest to the ease and "naturalness" of a threesome with a loving friend.
This is one of those hard to answer questions but I don't think either she or her husband are trying to be disrespectufl...they are just curious.
06/01/2010
trios trios
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
As long as he is not coercing her it's not disrespecting anything. Besides if it isn't disrespectful for you to desire a MFM why would it be disrespectful to want a MFF? Surely if your wife looked at you one day and said "Sure why ... More
I agree with you 100% airen, the respect and non-coercing attitude must be present always!

I wonder how sexibunny managed the situation (it has been about a month)?
06/05/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by trios
I agree with you 100% airen, the respect and non-coercing attitude must be present always!

I wonder how sexibunny managed the situation (it has been about a month)?
I was wondering the same thing....
07/17/2010
Total posts: 11
Unique posters: 7