Fantasy rejected?

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Fantasy rejected?

Badass Badass
Have you ever told your partner of a fantasy only to have him or her shoot it down?

How did you handle it?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Yes
funluvinmama , Mwar , Ms. N , Dreaus , <3BF , Gracie , Taylor , Sir , Tessa Taboo , debo , joelb42 , panthercat23
12
No
underHim , Ms. Spice , eroticmutt , Nora , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , Ansley , Moein , BobbiJay , mpfm , voenne , fredacarl , sekmetrn , smashthepatriarchy , M. Roth , TameTemptress , Rawr4483 , Princess-Kayla ♥ , Azule , leelee , CharlieBrown , SMichelle , Liz2 , SeductivelyCute , AHubbyof2SexualMinds , A.Mari , potstickers , Falsepast , Vii , J5ive , Ouroborean , Vaginas , Lildrummrgurl7 , padmeamidala , Phosphorous Tick , hall5885 , travelnurse , SecretKinksters
37
Kind of, explain below
Hallmar82 , Gunsmoke , Beck , Swish , Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama , Kitka , Mwar , MasonM , Ciao. , Airen Wolf , C-Rae , Pi , SparklyGlitter , Badass , mistressg , Why Not? , Sir , woodsdragon , pokefan15
19
Other, explain below.
wildorchid , Liz2
2
Total votes: 70 (67 voters)
Poll is closed
03/02/2012
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Hallmar82 Hallmar82
There are some costumes/lingerie that my wife will not wear because she's self-conscious about her weight. Although we avoid many skimpy/revealing outfits, we still try to work in roleplaying scenes with full or complete outfits. For example, I bought a real, full-size lab coat for "playing" doctor rather than one of the doctor/nurse lingerie costumes here on EF. While not as sexy, my wife FEELS better about doing wearing it. Otherwise, we wouldn't do it at all. So, you have to negotiate and know what's off limits.
03/02/2012
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I've an anal sex fantasy forever. She has allowed me to dabble around the edges - but has subtly made it clear she's not interested. Rather than confront her about it, I've been working to raise her awareness. It seems to be working - but honestly it has taken too long. I have no choice except to give up or keep trying - and I'm not a quitter, so...
03/02/2012
Beck Beck
Well, I kind of mentioned watching some of the porn of what I want to do and he was completely turned off, so I haven't even brought up that is what I want, since it is not going to happen.
03/02/2012
Swish Swish
kind of sort of i have a lot of kinks that he doesn't have a thing for so his interest in them is very very small, so it just doesn't happen, not rejection but uninterested
03/02/2012
Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
I have had some fantasys, yes but my husband would have to reach inside to a place of anger to be able to do them - he grew up in an abusive home and he just can't handle some things.

I've let them go.

I think he would like to try anal sex and we've sorta halfway dabbled but honestly, the few times we tried it (years ago) it hurt like crazy. I just can't get into it.

However, I am thinking about trying to see what I can do to get past the mindset I have about it from prior experiences. I have tried an anal plug - but it hurt.
03/02/2012
eroticmutt eroticmutt
Quote:
Originally posted by Badass
Have you ever told your partner of a fantasy only to have him or her shoot it down?

How did you handle it?
There are some things I wanted to try, such as diaper play, that my partner wasn't really into but I work with him on his fantasies and do things I am not particularly into as long as it is not physically uncomfortable for me, so he is just as agreeable when I want something.
03/02/2012
js250 js250
Costume and role play, my husband thinks it is silly-I think it could be fun.
03/02/2012
Ansley Ansley
We have a mutual agreement that nothing will be outright shut down from the onset, but we will compromise on it until we're both comfortable with the idea. It seems to have worked thus far.
03/02/2012
Kitka Kitka
Consensual non-consent (play rape essentially).. We tried it and he didn't like it much but I loved it. Never going to happen again as far as I know which kinda sucks but I'd hate to force him to do anything he isn't into so I understand.
03/02/2012
Mwar Mwar
Anal. He's okay with using toys on me, though.
03/02/2012
MasonM MasonM
Quote:
Originally posted by Badass
Have you ever told your partner of a fantasy only to have him or her shoot it down?

How did you handle it?
My partner had told me that he really enjoyed the thought of being dominated by a boss or coworker, so I set it up once that when he came home from work I was in a business suit and had made our living room look as much like an office as I could.

He stared a minute, then burst out laughing and said he was 'too tired'. I never bothered trying again.
03/03/2012
C-Rae C-Rae
Well I wanted to try something new and she seemed kinda turned off by it.. But then she eventually let it happen. I started joking around and then it just sorta happened.
03/03/2012
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by MasonM
My partner had told me that he really enjoyed the thought of being dominated by a boss or coworker, so I set it up once that when he came home from work I was in a business suit and had made our living room look as much like an office as I ...
WOW! It sounds like you hit a nerve...Sigel had that sort of raction when I tried introducing mild impact play. I had no idea that part of his childhood abuse had been a warped attempt to explain plain old physical abuse by couching it in BDSM terms. So when I used them it triggered a really nasty reaction in the form of cold disdain from him. As far as he was concerned I was silly, stupid and dangerously innocent about the complete soul destroying hideousness of BDSM! I was floored, and somewhat damaged since he was the only person I had ever had sex with so I kind of accepted that he was right...and he never actually came out and SAID that he didn't want to play with impact play he just warned me that if I kept asking for this that he would hurt me. So I stopped.

When I finally had enough knowledge to know what I was actually wanting he finally explained to me what the "rules" of BDSM were accoring to the ones who abused him. Safe, sane and concensual were nowhere in the vocabulary. Apparently he was that safe words were a fun little torture game...and it only neded when the victim was unconcious so no wonder he was not only spooked but sickened to his core at the thought of doing that to me!
03/03/2012
fredacarl fredacarl
Quote:
Originally posted by Badass
Have you ever told your partner of a fantasy only to have him or her shoot it down?

How did you handle it?
nope
03/03/2012
Ms. N Ms. N
As I have mentioned, my SO is sooooooo vanilla that this is a common occurrence. In some things, he has opened up a bit over time. I just wait him out
03/03/2012
Dreaus Dreaus
I love anal when I play with myself, but the wife wants nothing to do with at all. I think she thinks that it will turn me gay or something.
03/03/2012
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by MasonM
My partner had told me that he really enjoyed the thought of being dominated by a boss or coworker, so I set it up once that when he came home from work I was in a business suit and had made our living room look as much like an office as I ...
Aw, soul crushing. I'm so sorry!
03/05/2012
Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
No, but I haven't told him many, because I don't want him to be creeped out or something.
03/07/2012
Azule Azule
i try to keep them kind of private because I've got some weird ones up there that even I think are a little much.
03/07/2012
leelee leelee
Quote:
Originally posted by Badass
Have you ever told your partner of a fantasy only to have him or her shoot it down?

How did you handle it?
never had him say anything
03/08/2012
Badass Badass
Quote:
Originally posted by C-Rae
Well I wanted to try something new and she seemed kinda turned off by it.. But then she eventually let it happen. I started joking around and then it just sorta happened.
See this is what I thought would happen, joke around about it together and it'll happen... nope..
03/14/2012
wildorchid wildorchid
I have myself more willing to try new things with my current partner. He loves to be tied up and have me in control. I'm trying, but it is hard sometimes as I don't always feel like I'm in the "in charge" mood. I'm going to keep trying because he has done everything possible to please me, I think it's my turn and when I see how happy it makes him, it's totally worth it.
03/14/2012
Liz2 Liz2
Not really but I don't suggest something that he may have a problem with. But overall, he is open to new things.....
03/14/2012
AHubbyof2SexualMinds AHubbyof2SexualMinds
Probably my biggest fantasy/turn on was something I was sure the wife would be upset about and never want to try. While we haven't tried it, she was very accepting and excited that I'd shared, which was fantastic and reassuring.
03/14/2012
Gracie Gracie
Quote:
Originally posted by MasonM
My partner had told me that he really enjoyed the thought of being dominated by a boss or coworker, so I set it up once that when he came home from work I was in a business suit and had made our living room look as much like an office as I ...
That is so sad! I have a hard time risking and sharing when I feel like I'm not being taken seriously.
06/29/2012
Falsepast Falsepast
Never had to reject anyone fantasy
07/28/2012
Why Not? Why Not?
My partner is super indulgent of my fantasies. He frequently asks to hear them. A couple of times when acting them out I could tell that he was just totally not into it. I can't fault him at all, but it was just not for him. Bless him for trying though!
07/28/2012
Sir Sir
The majority of my interests and life goals are shot down by partners that I've had, actually. Many have told me that I simply "will not find that in a human being." I could care less about what other people tell me, though.
07/28/2012
Vaginas Vaginas
thus far my man has been wonderfully open to everything I've talked about with him
07/29/2012
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Total posts: 35
Unique posters: 33