One of my partners wants to know what all my sexual fantasies are. Specifically a few that I refuse to tell him due to the nature of them. I'm open about the vanilla things, but he's more vanilla than my other partners. He's never engaged in really.. anything. So it's like, I'm curious whether or not I should try breaking him in or not. He says he's open for anything, but I don't really know how to go about telling him that I'm super thrilled about strap-ons. I don't think hed take it well. What would you do in this situation?
Should I tell him?
07/22/2010
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Personally, I'd be open. I want my partner to know and to love and to accept me completely... including my kinks!
07/22/2010
Fantasies are simply that. Fantasies. They shouldn't feel threatening to anybody.
Open and up and tell him, maybe you'll be surprised, maybe he will. I don't think there's anything wrong with opening up the forum for discussion. Talk about it, see what happens and maybe something will come of it!
I for one am ecstatic about strapons, but I don't go around telling people in my daily life
Open and up and tell him, maybe you'll be surprised, maybe he will. I don't think there's anything wrong with opening up the forum for discussion. Talk about it, see what happens and maybe something will come of it!
I for one am ecstatic about strapons, but I don't go around telling people in my daily life
07/22/2010
Kind of hint around at what you want and go slow. Gauge his reactions and take it from there. But you should always feel able to be completely open and honest about your desires and wants, even fantasies. I guess I completely agree with what kck said
07/22/2010
Quote:
Ditto. Talking is always best
Originally posted by
kck
Personally, I'd be open. I want my partner to know and to love and to accept me completely... including my kinks!
07/22/2010
Definitely agree that you should tell him. Just make it clear that just because you fantasize about these things doesn't mean he has to participate in them in order to satisfy you. Keep it low pressure.
07/22/2010
I would tell him. I remember trying to tell my guy that I was bi and I was so afraid how he would react. Like Blinker suggested, take it slow and watch his reaction. If he seems Ok then keep going into a little more detail. If he starts to give you funny looks, lighten the mood and try again another time
07/22/2010
Depends on how long you two have been dating in my mind. It's always good to be upfront about fetishes, but it usually helps if you have a relationship cemented first. I do recommend going slowly and mentioning it in little bits and pieces though - not just all at once. Possibly find a porn movie that displays it in a nice light.
07/22/2010
Not much more I can say than what was already said. I agree with them all.
07/22/2010
I'd say going slow is best, tell him a tamer one and if he is open to that, go into something deeper. However, think about it, would you want to be with someone who doesn't accept you fully? That is a deal breaker for me.
07/22/2010
I would give him alittle at a time not everything at once. See how he takes that then give alittle more when you ready. Plus if he love's you he must love all of you. Doesn't mean he has to like it all but just be open with you about it.
07/22/2010
Try starting out with something along the lines of "I want to play with your butt - it's so sexy" or something like that.
You can move on from there, and it isn't too much all at once.
You can move on from there, and it isn't too much all at once.
07/22/2010
Quote:
Agreed.
Originally posted by
TitsMcScandal
I'd say going slow is best, tell him a tamer one and if he is open to that, go into something deeper. However, think about it, would you want to be with someone who doesn't accept you fully? That is a deal breaker for me.
07/22/2010
I agree with everyone else, tell him, but definitely tell him slowly. Personally, I'm always up front with lovers about my fetishes and kinks, and fantasys in general. If they aren't into the same types of things, it is a total deal breaker for me.
07/22/2010
Definitely tell him! I married a vanilla man, he was very inexperienced and I thought he'd come around. Now I know that there is a very big part of my sexual self that I have to keep hidden because its not something I was up front about and he isn't into.
Had I been honest from the get-go, we either would have found a way to keep us both happy, or considered if the compatibility issue was a deal breaker.
Had I been honest from the get-go, we either would have found a way to keep us both happy, or considered if the compatibility issue was a deal breaker.
07/26/2010
If he can't take your fantasies and run with them.. well maybe he won't be able to keep you satisfied for much longer..? I don't know, just a thought. That said, I would tell him. But, like redvinylkitty said, tell him slowly.
07/30/2010
I'd tell him too. I've had some say "no way, that's not for me", but surprisingly just as many have been willing to try it!
07/30/2010
I would agree with most of the above...mostly go slow....one at a time. If I ever told even myself all of my fantasies at one time before so many of them became reality, I would have scared myself away.
Again try one at a time and see what happens. (I still follow this).
Again try one at a time and see what happens. (I still follow this).
07/30/2010
Quote:
You said, "I refuse to tell him because....." THAT is reason enough to maybe keep it to yourself.
Originally posted by
Midway through
One of my partners wants to know what all my sexual fantasies are. Specifically a few that I refuse to tell him due to the nature of them. I'm open about the vanilla things, but he's more vanilla than my other partners. He's never engaged
...
more
One of my partners wants to know what all my sexual fantasies are. Specifically a few that I refuse to tell him due to the nature of them. I'm open about the vanilla things, but he's more vanilla than my other partners. He's never engaged in really.. anything. So it's like, I'm curious whether or not I should try breaking him in or not. He says he's open for anything, but I don't really know how to go about telling him that I'm super thrilled about strap-ons. I don't think hed take it well. What would you do in this situation?
less
If it's something you WANT to do, it's different than a pure Fantasy. If it's something you are really wanting to do with him, then approach it slowly. If it's JUST Pure Fantasy, something you really NEVER want to do, why tell him unless you are completely comfortable with it?
My Man is always asking what my fantasies are, and some of them are just private, and we've been together several decades. There is no reason to tell ANYONE "all."
IMO, if you have to ask, you have reservations about doing it, in that case, maybe wait until you can trust him better, or maybe it's just PURE fantasy (meaning you never really want to do it, but just like to think about it) then keep it to yourself.
Make sure you can trust him first. Never know what'll show up on Facebook, if you tell someone you don't really trust something Very intimate and then there's a break up.
07/30/2010
Quote:
Well said!
Originally posted by
Ciao.
Fantasies are simply that. Fantasies. They shouldn't feel threatening to anybody.
Open and up and tell him, maybe you'll be surprised, maybe he will. I don't think there's anything wrong with opening up the forum for ... more
Open and up and tell him, maybe you'll be surprised, maybe he will. I don't think there's anything wrong with opening up the forum for ... more
Fantasies are simply that. Fantasies. They shouldn't feel threatening to anybody.
Open and up and tell him, maybe you'll be surprised, maybe he will. I don't think there's anything wrong with opening up the forum for discussion. Talk about it, see what happens and maybe something will come of it!
I for one am ecstatic about strapons, but I don't go around telling people in my daily life less
Open and up and tell him, maybe you'll be surprised, maybe he will. I don't think there's anything wrong with opening up the forum for discussion. Talk about it, see what happens and maybe something will come of it!
I for one am ecstatic about strapons, but I don't go around telling people in my daily life less
07/30/2010
I agree with kck - communication is always key in a good relationship.
07/30/2010
Quote:
P'Gell I think has had the most logical response. It sounds good to be open about everything but sometimes a fantasy should be left unshared and as just that a fantasy. But if it's something you want to do WITH him then you have a problem and as many here have said need to take it slow.
Originally posted by
P'Gell
You said, "I refuse to tell him because....." THAT is reason enough to maybe keep it to yourself.
If it's something you WANT to do, it's different than a pure Fantasy. If it's something you are really wanting to do with ... more
If it's something you WANT to do, it's different than a pure Fantasy. If it's something you are really wanting to do with ... more
You said, "I refuse to tell him because....." THAT is reason enough to maybe keep it to yourself.
If it's something you WANT to do, it's different than a pure Fantasy. If it's something you are really wanting to do with him, then approach it slowly. If it's JUST Pure Fantasy, something you really NEVER want to do, why tell him unless you are completely comfortable with it?
My Man is always asking what my fantasies are, and some of them are just private, and we've been together several decades. There is no reason to tell ANYONE "all."
IMO, if you have to ask, you have reservations about doing it, in that case, maybe wait until you can trust him better, or maybe it's just PURE fantasy (meaning you never really want to do it, but just like to think about it) then keep it to yourself.
Make sure you can trust him first. Never know what'll show up on Facebook, if you tell someone you don't really trust something Very intimate and then there's a break up. less
If it's something you WANT to do, it's different than a pure Fantasy. If it's something you are really wanting to do with him, then approach it slowly. If it's JUST Pure Fantasy, something you really NEVER want to do, why tell him unless you are completely comfortable with it?
My Man is always asking what my fantasies are, and some of them are just private, and we've been together several decades. There is no reason to tell ANYONE "all."
IMO, if you have to ask, you have reservations about doing it, in that case, maybe wait until you can trust him better, or maybe it's just PURE fantasy (meaning you never really want to do it, but just like to think about it) then keep it to yourself.
Make sure you can trust him first. Never know what'll show up on Facebook, if you tell someone you don't really trust something Very intimate and then there's a break up. less
ScottA, you are too funny. I hate to break it to you but some of us live under a rock. If you said that to me before I came to EF I really would have had no idea what you were suggesting. Being vanilla is not a bad thing and really could be a lot of fun for you to slowly show him new things but you need to find his limit and don't throw too much at him at one time.
07/30/2010
Quote:
I know what you are talking about! I face that with both my partners. I have found that simply openly talking about what turns me on is the easiest answer. I still face odd looks or horrified guys but then again sometimes they both just shrug and ask when I'd like to try whatever it is...
Originally posted by
Midway through
One of my partners wants to know what all my sexual fantasies are. Specifically a few that I refuse to tell him due to the nature of them. I'm open about the vanilla things, but he's more vanilla than my other partners. He's never engaged
...
more
One of my partners wants to know what all my sexual fantasies are. Specifically a few that I refuse to tell him due to the nature of them. I'm open about the vanilla things, but he's more vanilla than my other partners. He's never engaged in really.. anything. So it's like, I'm curious whether or not I should try breaking him in or not. He says he's open for anything, but I don't really know how to go about telling him that I'm super thrilled about strap-ons. I don't think hed take it well. What would you do in this situation?
less
07/30/2010
Total posts: 23
Unique posters: 22