Threesomes

LikeSunshineDust LikeSunshineDust
So, my boyfriend and I have wanted to have a threesome with another girl for a while. We just haven't found the right person, someone who we both would want to invite into our bed and would be willing to. The latter part seems to be the bigger problem.

For those of you who've had threesomes with your partner, how did you pick the third person out? Also, do you think it's easier to have a threesome with a close friend or a complete stranger?
02/21/2009
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Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
::volunteers!::

I've had FWB for a while, and we kind of acted as a "group," so we would generally just pick other FWB from our group. On the rare occasions when we picked an "outsider," we very stringently picked someone from our group of friendly acquaintances who we knew would be comfortable with it. We also insisted that everybody take an STI test and bring the papers along to prove it, and we always practiced safe sex. If they weren't willing to do that, we weren't willing to sleep with them.

You can also place ads for a wider variety, but then you won't be sure about chemistry, so it's a double-edged sword.
02/21/2009
Cinnamon Chambers Cinnamon Chambers
I would have issues if it was someone we would see often but that is just me. I slept with one of his female co workers and that did not work out very nicely at all. The other time we were discussing it the female was a close friend who was a bisexual, and and after that was mentioned she wanted more with just him and not me or her partner involved. Again, it didn't work out. The last time it was with a GF of mine, and we were playing and he ended up cumming before we were done with foreplay and just watched us that night.
02/21/2009
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
We've only tried a threesome once and it ended badly. It depends on what kind of a relationship you're looking for. If you want a long-term polyamorous relationship, it's good to really get to know the people beforehand and make sure that it's not ONLY a physical attraction, etc. But if you're only interested in a one-night stand, then I would say probably stay away from people you know well or see often because of the jealousy factor. BB's mention of insisting on STI tests and practicing safe sex is a very good suggestion.
02/21/2009
Ciao. Ciao.
My partner and I had a threesome with a good female friend of ours and it worked out pretty well. Nothing long-term just kind of a spontaneous fun deal. We've never really gone looking for anything more than that. I would definitely say that STI testing/safe sex would be really important, but otherwise my only recommendation would be that I would thinking meeting whomever you are bringing in first, in person might make it a little less awkward to literally (and figuratively) jump right into bed with them. And it would help weed out the creeps, etc.
02/21/2009
Dragon Dragon
You probably will have issues of any kind with someone you know. Unexpected, and on someone's side. Be careful. Of course, you're looking for a woman so the dynamics are different.

We almost set something up with a friend, and that caused major problems. I'm glad we didn't. We've been with strangers. I admit one of my favorite things is finding a guy that is attracted to me enough and confident when I'm dancing with my husband to still be interested. I don't have to explain anything.
02/22/2009
LikeSunshineDust LikeSunshineDust
I've been away for the weekend, but thanks to everyone for your advice.

I think we are leaning more towards a "one-night stand" type thing, just to see if it's something we'd like to do again. Though we would definitely practice safe sex, I hadn't really given much thought to asking someone to prove they're STI-free.
02/22/2009
Raven Raven
I've only been in a menage situation three times, all of which were when I was single. Twice was when I approached a guy that I had had sex with and asked if he would be willing to do a 3-way with me and another guy of my choosing. Jealousy was never an issue. When I found two guys who I wanted and who were willing, it was a go. The third time was when I stayed at a friend's house one night and her two male cousins were staying over also. That one was great. One I already knew, the other I did not, and that made it hotter for me. Trusting the one guy probably helped.

I am in a monogamous relationship with my husband now and a threesome is not something either of us care to do, so my menage a trois days are over.
07/13/2009
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by LikeSunshineDust
So, my boyfriend and I have wanted to have a threesome with another girl for a while. We just haven't found the right person, someone who we both would want to invite into our bed and would be willing to. The latter part seems to be the bigger ... More
It isn't easier with a good friend or a complete stranger. The real issue is how stable and "safe" your primary partnership is. If you have jealousy issues then no matter who you have a threesome with the issues will be there. It is rewarding to have a threesome with a close friend as the third if you will be able to enjoy the memory later on, if not then it's best not to even try. It is also rewarding to have a threesome with a complete stranger, who can prove their sexual health, if you will be able to trust your partner not to seek another encounter solo...or whether he can trust you with the same. Yup it all comes down to that there trust issue.
There are many problems that can arise from a threesome but if both of you are secure in your relationship and in each other, then taking your time to seek a willing, enthusiastic and healthy partner will enhance your relationship beyond measure. My best advice from the trenches is take your time...sex won't go away any time soon and it's worth it to have a third that you both are comfortable with and attracted to.
07/14/2009
TinyTease TinyTease
It depends on the friendship you have with the person. The two women I've been intimate with my previous bfs are still great friends of mine. Everyone knew what the situation was, it was just for fun and nothing more. Communication is very important when you have another person involved.

Everyone has given good advice so far. The only other thing I would mention is to remember the THIRD person is still a person - not just a plaything for you and your bf. They have feelings and emotions as well. I only mention this because it is a common thing with first timers to view it as something "just for them."

Also, you will have a much, MUCH harder time finding a female to join you than a male. Finding a "perfect" female who you are both attracted to and is attracted to you both can be tough. But, good luck!
07/14/2009
Liz2 Liz2
I am in a two year relationship with my b/f but on occasion, I have sex with a g/f of mine. My b/f joins us sometimes. She has a b/f who has never joined us, he knows about it and we all go out together.
Where is this going? Who the F...knows, but it has delayed my b/f and me getting married or starting a family which we both want.
I know I will always want a male in my life, as does my g/f, but the sex with my g/f is also awesome at this point.
07/15/2009
Sir Sir
I've had threesomes, but I didn't give a damn about either person. Really, I was a sex partner of the both of them, at different times, then I just decided to have a bit of "fun." But in a relationship, I've never had a threesome. I'm not fond of the thought.
07/20/2009
pomwei pomwei
Quote:
Originally posted by LikeSunshineDust
So, my boyfriend and I have wanted to have a threesome with another girl for a while. We just haven't found the right person, someone who we both would want to invite into our bed and would be willing to. The latter part seems to be the bigger ... More
friends are much easier.it does not have the pressure of a stranger.but the anticipation is much more intense with a stranger,but the dissappointment can be greater
08/02/2009
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by TinyTease
It depends on the friendship you have with the person. The two women I've been intimate with my previous bfs are still great friends of mine. Everyone knew what the situation was, it was just for fun and nothing more. Communication is very ... More
Very good point...that third person needs to be heard as to what their expectations are and what they hope to gain from the experience. They are not a plaything, unless they WANT to be a plaything of course, and it can really damage a relationship as well as a couple's reputation if it goes really badly.
08/23/2009
Dragon Dragon
There are some really good books out there these days. I'd read some of them before actually committing to anything sexually. It's not as easy to "back" away as you might think and the emotions can get explosive.

The 2nd edition of the Ethical Slut and Opening Up by Tristan Tarino (not sure of that spelling and I'm feeling lazy!)
08/24/2009
Alura Une Alura Une
I've been very close to having a threesome in the past. I talked about it with my boyfriend and our longtime male friend separately, and then I think we were just waiting for the right time. But the time never came. The friendship between my boyfriend and I and that friend was destroyed a while after the idea came up due to unrelated or maybe related reasons. I am still with that boyfriend. But many years later, I mourn the loss of that friend still. I have no romantic feelings for him anymore, I did have a little then. I'm in a happy relationship, and I hear he is, too. Now I wish he and I could simply talk.

If I could go back in time, I would still try to have a threesome. I would have to choose a time when I was not in a serious relationship, I would choose from friends I trusted. I had a lot of eligible male and female friends when I was single! If I could try again, I would try to make sure that our fun was separate from everything. It would be like doing business with friends. I would avoid getting in a relationship with any of the people involved. But it is easier said than done, I am sure.

I see nothing wrong with this kind of play, but you probably should think ahead carefully before you do it.
10/15/2009
usmcwife99 usmcwife99
Quote:
Originally posted by LikeSunshineDust
So, my boyfriend and I have wanted to have a threesome with another girl for a while. We just haven't found the right person, someone who we both would want to invite into our bed and would be willing to. The latter part seems to be the bigger ... More
I have a really good friend who likes a little fun. So I would say a good and close friend. You dont know about strangers lol.
06/26/2010
SweetestAngelGoneBad SweetestAngelGoneBad
The first threesome me and my ex had was some what ok. It was with a good friend of mine. She was bi at the time. Only problem was I was getting turned on by him fucking her but he couldnt keep his dick up. The second one we had kinda went south, on our marriage part. It was with a good friend of ours, He had just left his wife. Trust me that threesome was AWESOME.. Even though ex hubby was laying in bed crying cause I was more arroused with the other guy, but hell what can i say? He was bigger and better in bed. Well needless to say that threesome ended us in a divorce which is all good. Cause now I am married to the guy we had the threesome with and couldn't be happier. Not just cause of the sex but cause he trust me as a person not a sex slave as my ex did.
06/29/2010
MyWifeExposed MyWifeExposed
We've been incredibly lucky in that we got to know another couple that have the same outlook on life as us, and we went from being good friends to being good friends with benefits.

Both us and them (grammar sucks, sorry) had a fantasy of having a threesome and through chatting and a few really good experiences with us as couples, we decided to experiment with threesomes.

The key to it all, as far as we were concerned, was that at all times we communicated openly and honestly with each other, and we respected each others' limits.
07/27/2010
Gallowraven Gallowraven
I had a threesome with a past lover...and my best friend. I would do it again, but can't find anyone willing. My current partner is all for a MFF threesome, but one of my greatest fantasies is, just once, a MFM threesome. He isn't thrilled about the idea. But sex and best friends don't mix well.
08/01/2010
CutiePatootie CutiePatootie
Quote:
Originally posted by LikeSunshineDust
So, my boyfriend and I have wanted to have a threesome with another girl for a while. We just haven't found the right person, someone who we both would want to invite into our bed and would be willing to. The latter part seems to be the bigger ... More
I wonder if LikeSunshineDust has found her perfect threesome? I have to say that life will surprise you and if you're open to oppotunities/options you can have a lot of fun. I had been missing being with a woman, I am no longer in college and I'm married so threesomes don't come up often anymore.

So I took out a MF4F ad on Craigslist just to see what was out there. I got men pretending to be women, 19 year old girls, lots of bad spelling. And then I got a "too good to be true" e-mail from a woman around our age, with a good job, educated, and wanting to experiment but wasn't sure where to start. We all thought it would probably just be a 1 night thing, but 2 months later we're still having fun.

We had always fantasized about having a girlfriend, and I thought that if we did I would be comfortable having 3way sex 1-2 times a month. Apparently I'm comfortable with it 1-3 times a week. I've also made it clear that there would be no hard feelings if she wanted to get a boyfriend etc., we'd still ike to stay friends and it'll just be our secret. I am building up my toy collection a little more though now
09/27/2010
drifter10 drifter10
I recommend someone you don't intend on seeing ever again..9 times out of 10..theres awkwardness between one in the relationship and the third party..
09/30/2010
mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
a broad we picked up. didnt wanna medal with any of our then current realtionships
09/30/2010
pinkzombie pinkzombie
Quote:
Originally posted by LikeSunshineDust
So, my boyfriend and I have wanted to have a threesome with another girl for a while. We just haven't found the right person, someone who we both would want to invite into our bed and would be willing to. The latter part seems to be the bigger ... More
I casual friend was someone me and an x had a threesome with. No complications!
12/10/2010
kfdarling kfdarling
Quote:
Originally posted by Cinnamon Chambers
I would have issues if it was someone we would see often but that is just me. I slept with one of his female co workers and that did not work out very nicely at all. The other time we were discussing it the female was a close friend who was a ... More
I can't blame him for cumming too soon. That is every guy's fantasy!
03/08/2011
kfdarling kfdarling
Quote:
Originally posted by CutiePatootie
I wonder if LikeSunshineDust has found her perfect threesome? I have to say that life will surprise you and if you're open to oppotunities/options you can have a lot of fun. I had been missing being with a woman, I am no longer in college and ... More
Wow! This is the hottest thing ever!!!!
03/08/2011
kelaaa33wish kelaaa33wish
more toys the better.
05/05/2011
AMGuidroz AMGuidroz
I almost did once, but the timing was never right! I would've been the 3rd person, but now the opportunity is no longer on the table! I was single and sexy then, now I'm very much in a, HOPEFULLY, long lasting relationship and almost 7 months pregnant! Worried my body will never be the same again!
05/05/2011
marriedlady123 marriedlady123
I agree with someone random-someone you probably won't run into again!
11/25/2012
linnlinn linnlinn
Quote:
Originally posted by LikeSunshineDust
So, my boyfriend and I have wanted to have a threesome with another girl for a while. We just haven't found the right person, someone who we both would want to invite into our bed and would be willing to. The latter part seems to be the bigger ... More
I was the invited third into the bed by a very close friend. For us, we needed to have much more communication about roles in the relationship. It turns out that this couple I decided to give my whole heart to, broke it maliciously. If its a friend, or if it's not, just remember to clearly define your limits, roles and boundaries for everyone. If even one person expects something out of the relationship, even if it's just for one night, it can be devastating. And also rember that your third is a person too, even if she's not your best friend.
11/27/2012
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