What feature would be unignorable in a sexual partner?

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What feature would be unignorable in a sexual partner?

Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
Poor hygiene and lack of caring for oneself is something I cannot ignore and let go to the wayside. Also, compulsive cheating since my former fiance decided to cheat on me with over 30 different women.

Now, as far as everything else ...
I think exactly the same thing. The options aren't the things that bother me by any means. I don't want anyone thinking I'm a jerk like that or anything. I've just heard from multiple sources that any one of those attributes would be a deal-breaker, depending on the person.

(Oh and I LOVE "Dirty Jobs" and Mike Rowe is a hottie. Hehe.)
09/27/2010
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Opposing political beliefs was the only thing up there that I read that would be a deal-breaker in terms of a long term partner. One night stand? I could deal with shitty politics. For the long haul I couldn't take it.
09/27/2010
onehotmomma onehotmomma
STD's and addiction are the top 2 on my list!
09/29/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
This is a very interesting question and it took me a long time to think about it. Ultimately I ended up choosing the STD/HIV one. That would be the hardest to accept when choosing a partner and second was addiction. BUT, when already in a relationship some of the things on the list seemed like nothing.

Side note...the type of addiction would matter also and actually I wouldn't date anyone currently using drugs either. In every relationship I have been in, I made it clear that I would straight up leave if my partner did an illicit drug. I have never done drugs and never want to, not even weed. Past drug history is a concern but not a deal breaker.

Things like weight etc can be changed and looked past much easier to me than a behavior-because behaviors can hurt. For example...someone who is overweight would not make me feel bad about myself. BUT, someone who abuses drugs or has an anger issue can hurt me as they engage in that. So that is why those warning signs can be deal breakers.

Ah and things like Animal rights etc views. If they don't have the same views as I do...that can be fine, but if they disprove of them so much that they try to push their beliefs on me religious or non...I'll walk and be completely turned off. I'll do my thing, you do yours.
09/29/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
I wanted to ask those who included STDs as a deal breaker. We need to remember that not ALL STDs are incurable, nor are all life changing.

Syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichamonis and many others are all curable. Things like herpes are really not a huge health risk for those with normal immune systems. It's also a manageable illness. And also herpes tends to "burn out" as people get older, meaning they get fewer and fewer outbreaks. Some people have had ONE herpes outbreak and not an other one.

Those of you who listed STDs; is a CURED STD, but one in someone's history still a "deal breaker?"
09/29/2010
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I wanted to ask those who included STDs as a deal breaker. We need to remember that not ALL STDs are incurable, nor are all life changing.

Syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichamonis and many others are all curable. Things like herpes are ...
Ah, see that's a really good point and very interesting follow-up question. STDs honestly would mean nothing to me if I were in love with them and they were my soulmate in every other way so I don't know.
09/29/2010
Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I wanted to ask those who included STDs as a deal breaker. We need to remember that not ALL STDs are incurable, nor are all life changing.

Syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichamonis and many others are all curable. Things like herpes are ...
No, a cured STD would not be a deal-breaker for me, as long as the person was not promiscuous and not placing themselves in constant danger of being reinfected.

I was thinking of some people that I have known in the past who were very promiscuous and seemed to rampantly have one or two STDs at a time. Not only was this being irresponsible by not taking care of their own health, but they were also being completely heedless of the health of others . . . which reflected very, very poorly on their character.
09/30/2010
Danielle915 Danielle915
STD's and addiction are definitely unignorable to me!!
10/22/2010
Sera Sera
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
Whether you're currently open to new sex partners (or significant others) or merely just open to fictional fantasies, what feature of him/her would be undo any possibility of choosing that particular person?

(The background of the question ...
Drugs. I definitely do not do drugs. I've been down that road, and that is not a road I'd like to visit again through someone else.
10/22/2010
Not here Not here
I voted Other because a couple of the things listed would be a no-go for me. Basically I couldn't be with someone who was an alcoholic or addicted to hard drugs. (I am 420 friendly so obviously that doesn't fall under the spectrum.) I don't think I could be with someone who had an STD/STI because I would constantly fear that they would give it to me. I loathe condoms, so when I am in a trusting monogamous relationship and sure that the person is clean, I forgo them .

I also couldn't be with someone who was unhygienic or had absolutely no self esteem.

Aside from that, everything else can be ignored for the sake of love.
10/22/2010
Kimbertrees Kimbertrees
I ended up choosing the STD/HIV one, but drug/alcohol addiction is a biggy for me too. My last ex, and the father of my daughter, was really into drugs and ended up choosing them over my daughter in the end. I tried to look past someone smoking pot or doing something else every once and awhile as long as they did it no where near me or my child and never came by us when intoxicated, but people always seem to think that they can get away with looking sober. I will never again be able to be with someone that does any kind of drug, and alcohol has always been a bit of a no no with me just because alcoholism run high in my family. As for STD's, I eventually want to have more kids and would never be able to do so if/when I caught it from the other person.

I also couldn't be with someone that was overly cocky about themselves. For some reason I've just never been attracted to the guys with the six packs.
11/04/2010
Trashley Trashley
This should be a check as many as you want poll! I chose undereducated because I can deal with all the rest, but I can't deal with someone who's uneducated. I've loved homeless heroin addicts, but if you can't spell or finish high school, then it's out the door.
11/04/2010
mnc5051 mnc5051
I love my gf, and future wife to much to be willing to let her get into drugs
11/10/2010
socceras socceras
i put std but i take it back. it would be drug or alcohol addiction
11/11/2010
Destri Destri
Addiction. I have been married to a man who was addicted to alcohol and drugs, so been there, done that and will NEVER do that again.
11/24/2010
darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
For me it is between STDs and addiction.
11/24/2010
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Maybe I'm picky - but I would choose more than one option given the chance to do so. Just curious - why just pick one?
11/24/2010
celibacysucks celibacysucks
I was surprised more people didn't vote on weight, but then as I read on I realized why. STDs out-weigh weight. Haha!
11/24/2010
lamira lamira
I think having an addiction would be the worst.
11/24/2010
asdfjkl; asdfjkl;
so many things to say here
11/27/2010
pinkzombie pinkzombie
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
Whether you're currently open to new sex partners (or significant others) or merely just open to fictional fantasies, what feature of him/her would be undo any possibility of choosing that particular person?

(The background of the question ...
addiction is the hardest i think...
12/02/2010
SexyTabby SexyTabby
Std/hiv, addiction/drugs and abusive behavior would be major flags.
12/02/2010
Porfiriato Porfiriato
Smell!
12/02/2010
southernhawtie southernhawtie
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
Whether you're currently open to new sex partners (or significant others) or merely just open to fictional fantasies, what feature of him/her would be undo any possibility of choosing that particular person?

(The background of the question ...
I love tall men so it's a requirement.
12/04/2010
Lucidity Lucidity
I will never date another addict again. It says so much about every part of their personality, and I just can't do it.
12/13/2010
alayamae alayamae
Since I could only pick one, my top two would definitely be addiction and STD's.
12/13/2010
sbon sbon
Addiction.
12/15/2010
Illusional Illusional
STD's/HIV

Missing teeth, like more than one or two

Lack of hygiene
Under educated
12/15/2010
mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
well, i dont know. if its my husband than id tack just about anything. but if its someone that im just getting to know sdt adn narcotica abuse
12/15/2010
Miss Morphine Miss Morphine
Here's my dirty laundry list:abusive behavior, substance abuse, poor hygiene, and not necessarily under-education but a lack of motivation to learn.
12/15/2010
Total posts: 147
Unique posters: 112