I couldn't be with someone in the military, or who regularly went on long business trips. Couldn't do it. I struggle enough with being away from my partner as it is.
What feature would be unignorable in a sexual partner?
12/15/2010
Quote:
I know a ton of people who will agree with you. That's why it's one of the top choices. I was surprised it wasn't brought up more considering it's a relationship killer where I'm from (military base).
Originally posted by
joja
I couldn't be with someone in the military, or who regularly went on long business trips. Couldn't do it. I struggle enough with being away from my partner as it is.
12/15/2010
I couldn't be with anyone that had an STD, or that was on drugs. I'm a CRMJ major and plan on being in the police force. The drugs is just a no no, and the STD.. lord. I'm a complete phobic of germs in general, so I really couldn't handle an STD.
12/15/2010
STD and HIV of course.
those are the gifts that keep on giving.
those are the gifts that keep on giving.
01/04/2011
PlayfulPisces87
Domestic abuse and addiction go hand-in-hand too often. I put addiction because of that fact. My ex did roids while we were together. He was fine when he was smoking pot, but as soon as he couldn't get his hands on it, he'd lash out, especially at me.
01/04/2011
Quote:
a violent pot smoker?
Originally posted by
PlayfulPisces87
Domestic abuse and addiction go hand-in-hand too often. I put addiction because of that fact. My ex did roids while we were together. He was fine when he was smoking pot, but as soon as he couldn't get his hands on it, he'd lash out,
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Domestic abuse and addiction go hand-in-hand too often. I put addiction because of that fact. My ex did roids while we were together. He was fine when he was smoking pot, but as soon as he couldn't get his hands on it, he'd lash out, especially at me.
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i think you found the one bad egg in the carton. pot smokers are not violent, normally.
01/04/2011
Quote:
I believe he was violent from the steroids, if I read her post properly.
Originally posted by
MR Chickhabit
a violent pot smoker?
i think you found the one bad egg in the carton. pot smokers are not violent, normally.
i think you found the one bad egg in the carton. pot smokers are not violent, normally.
01/05/2011
Quote:
So glad you posted this...I didn't want to be the one to open that can of worms but I am glad you did!
Originally posted by
P'Gell
I wanted to ask those who included STDs as a deal breaker. We need to remember that not ALL STDs are incurable, nor are all life changing.
Syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichamonis and many others are all curable. Things like herpes are ... more
Syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichamonis and many others are all curable. Things like herpes are ... more
I wanted to ask those who included STDs as a deal breaker. We need to remember that not ALL STDs are incurable, nor are all life changing.
Syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichamonis and many others are all curable. Things like herpes are really not a huge health risk for those with normal immune systems. It's also a manageable illness. And also herpes tends to "burn out" as people get older, meaning they get fewer and fewer outbreaks. Some people have had ONE herpes outbreak and not an other one.
Those of you who listed STDs; is a CURED STD, but one in someone's history still a "deal breaker?" less
Syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichamonis and many others are all curable. Things like herpes are really not a huge health risk for those with normal immune systems. It's also a manageable illness. And also herpes tends to "burn out" as people get older, meaning they get fewer and fewer outbreaks. Some people have had ONE herpes outbreak and not an other one.
Those of you who listed STDs; is a CURED STD, but one in someone's history still a "deal breaker?" less
01/05/2011
Addiction would definitely be a dealbreaker.
01/06/2011
Quote:
ah, see? no violent pot smokers
Originally posted by
P'Gell
I believe he was violent from the steroids, if I read her post properly.
01/06/2011
Quote:
Yeah, initially I only checked off politics but I would change that answer now if I could to include addiction.
Originally posted by
The Awesome Penguin
Addiction would definitely be a dealbreaker.
At the time that I voted my partner was very addicted to heroin and also doing a lot of other opiates, benzos, pretty much whatever was around. I didn't like it but at the time was not fully aware of how many drugs he was doing (I didn't know he was mainlining) and how often because we are currently living an hour or so from each other. We have been together for two years and he's always done more drugs than I cared for, but only in the past 6 months did I really start to see it becoming more than I was willing to tolerate.
I have known a lot of addicts including family members and friends, and I think that consistent exposure made me feel like drugs and drinking to excess were normal parts of life. I finally saw with my partner that it wasn't, and that he was choosing heroin over his own health, safety and even his life. I could see that if he didn't even value his own life then he certainly couldn't value our love or my health, safety or anything else. When your partner does drugs it's like they're cheating on you around the clock with someone that you know they love better than you and would pick over you if they were forced to choose. He hated heroin and what it did to him but he needed it more than he wanted to be with me.
So, yeah. I guess addiction has become a deal breaker for me. I made him choose, and he chose to give up drugs, but I would have left if he hadn't. You can have a beautiful love and relationship with someone that has an STI/D - even an incurable one - but you can't have that with a junkie.
01/06/2011
Quote:
Aww I'm so sorry to hear that. ((Hug)) Addiction is definitely different than an STD because it's a substance becoming the driving force of a person's life and then every important person in their life takes a backseat to it. Just not the kind of position to make a happy, stable relationship.
Originally posted by
Owl Identified
Yeah, initially I only checked off politics but I would change that answer now if I could to include addiction.
At the time that I voted my partner was very addicted to heroin and also doing a lot of other opiates, benzos, pretty much ... more
At the time that I voted my partner was very addicted to heroin and also doing a lot of other opiates, benzos, pretty much ... more
Yeah, initially I only checked off politics but I would change that answer now if I could to include addiction.
At the time that I voted my partner was very addicted to heroin and also doing a lot of other opiates, benzos, pretty much whatever was around. I didn't like it but at the time was not fully aware of how many drugs he was doing (I didn't know he was mainlining) and how often because we are currently living an hour or so from each other. We have been together for two years and he's always done more drugs than I cared for, but only in the past 6 months did I really start to see it becoming more than I was willing to tolerate.
I have known a lot of addicts including family members and friends, and I think that consistent exposure made me feel like drugs and drinking to excess were normal parts of life. I finally saw with my partner that it wasn't, and that he was choosing heroin over his own health, safety and even his life. I could see that if he didn't even value his own life then he certainly couldn't value our love or my health, safety or anything else. When your partner does drugs it's like they're cheating on you around the clock with someone that you know they love better than you and would pick over you if they were forced to choose. He hated heroin and what it did to him but he needed it more than he wanted to be with me.
So, yeah. I guess addiction has become a deal breaker for me. I made him choose, and he chose to give up drugs, but I would have left if he hadn't. You can have a beautiful love and relationship with someone that has an STI/D - even an incurable one - but you can't have that with a junkie. less
At the time that I voted my partner was very addicted to heroin and also doing a lot of other opiates, benzos, pretty much whatever was around. I didn't like it but at the time was not fully aware of how many drugs he was doing (I didn't know he was mainlining) and how often because we are currently living an hour or so from each other. We have been together for two years and he's always done more drugs than I cared for, but only in the past 6 months did I really start to see it becoming more than I was willing to tolerate.
I have known a lot of addicts including family members and friends, and I think that consistent exposure made me feel like drugs and drinking to excess were normal parts of life. I finally saw with my partner that it wasn't, and that he was choosing heroin over his own health, safety and even his life. I could see that if he didn't even value his own life then he certainly couldn't value our love or my health, safety or anything else. When your partner does drugs it's like they're cheating on you around the clock with someone that you know they love better than you and would pick over you if they were forced to choose. He hated heroin and what it did to him but he needed it more than he wanted to be with me.
So, yeah. I guess addiction has become a deal breaker for me. I made him choose, and he chose to give up drugs, but I would have left if he hadn't. You can have a beautiful love and relationship with someone that has an STI/D - even an incurable one - but you can't have that with a junkie. less
01/06/2011
Quote:
From what I read, the weed calmed him down from the 'roids. When he ran out of pot and the steroids were going full blast in his body and mind, (without the pot to help him maintain) he was violent.
Originally posted by
MR Chickhabit
ah, see? no violent pot smokers
So, no, no violent pot smokers. I've known a lot of weedtokers in my day, never met a violent one.
01/11/2011
STD would be a no go.
01/22/2011
A brain. And not being able to use it. Stimulate my mind, and my body and soul is yours to command.
Everything else is just gravy.
I'd like to be able to pick and choose what I would like in a partner, but I am unable to do so. So long as they are healthy and have a sharp brain, they know how to use it, I am a goner and theirs.
But to be with someone who is not keen on improving himself or keeping his noggin stimulated? I would not be happy as I'd not be intellectually challenged.
Everything else is just gravy.
I'd like to be able to pick and choose what I would like in a partner, but I am unable to do so. So long as they are healthy and have a sharp brain, they know how to use it, I am a goner and theirs.
But to be with someone who is not keen on improving himself or keeping his noggin stimulated? I would not be happy as I'd not be intellectually challenged.
01/25/2011
I dont know if I could deal with it if my partner had a tattoo of the Macabre Logo on them. Especially if it was a full back tattoo. I kinda like macabre, but this logo and the people who sport it seriously make me wonder.
01/25/2011
Quote:
I agree with this so much.
Originally posted by
Tori Rebel
My vote is for three actually, one of them being not mentioned. Both addiction and STD would be on my list, as would a history of being abusive toward women. I've been the girl that believed that abusive men could change and been proven wrong
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My vote is for three actually, one of them being not mentioned. Both addiction and STD would be on my list, as would a history of being abusive toward women. I've been the girl that believed that abusive men could change and been proven wrong and simply no longer believe that a man that has hurt a woman once won't do it again.
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I don't mind *responsible* drug use, but addiction is definitely a deal breaker.
01/25/2011
Quote:
Yeah, those would be my 3 deal breakers also. Addiction, STD, and/or abuse.
Originally posted by
Tori Rebel
My vote is for three actually, one of them being not mentioned. Both addiction and STD would be on my list, as would a history of being abusive toward women. I've been the girl that believed that abusive men could change and been proven wrong
...
more
My vote is for three actually, one of them being not mentioned. Both addiction and STD would be on my list, as would a history of being abusive toward women. I've been the girl that believed that abusive men could change and been proven wrong and simply no longer believe that a man that has hurt a woman once won't do it again.
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01/28/2011
I do believe that every person needs love... but i would not put myself at risk on purpose.
01/31/2011
Quote:
I need to be treated with respect, kindness and love. I would never enter into an abusive relationship!
Originally posted by
Darling Jen
Whether you're currently open to new sex partners (or significant others) or merely just open to fictional fantasies, what feature of him/her would be undo any possibility of choosing that particular person?
(The background of the question ... more
(The background of the question ... more
Whether you're currently open to new sex partners (or significant others) or merely just open to fictional fantasies, what feature of him/her would be undo any possibility of choosing that particular person?
(The background of the question is my thinking about what it is I would want in a new partner, whenever that time comes. I wonder if I'm too picky or just demanding enough to not be disappointed again. And what is the end-all turn-off for you? Feel free to elaborate! Especially if the one you used to have has changed or if it was the cause of the end of your last relationship.) less
(The background of the question is my thinking about what it is I would want in a new partner, whenever that time comes. I wonder if I'm too picky or just demanding enough to not be disappointed again. And what is the end-all turn-off for you? Feel free to elaborate! Especially if the one you used to have has changed or if it was the cause of the end of your last relationship.) less
06/26/2011
STDs and a history of abuse. also, i don't want him to be fat; i don't think it's sexy
07/02/2011
Quote:
#1 S T D's. Sorry, I don't have any, want any and will go without before getting. Thirty of forty minutes the first time is not worth a lifetime. #2 Alcohol and Drug addiction. #3 Mental health issues or a major life experience from the past that has never been professionally addressed, diagnosed and or treated with a certain acknowledgement on current and future considerations. (Think this is too much) Sleep with someone before knowing them, look around at all of the sad situations. I want better for US, or unfortunately; no future at all. No one gets hurt. I have my morals, ethics and life to consider, first. Anyone with lovers and partners around from their past. Too easy to fall back, I have seen it too much. I believe in commitment and moving on together. Or you should not be out in the first place looking for LOVE. But, you can definitely go out and have a drink.
Originally posted by
Darling Jen
Whether you're currently open to new sex partners (or significant others) or merely just open to fictional fantasies, what feature of him/her would be undo any possibility of choosing that particular person?
(The background of the question ... more
(The background of the question ... more
Whether you're currently open to new sex partners (or significant others) or merely just open to fictional fantasies, what feature of him/her would be undo any possibility of choosing that particular person?
(The background of the question is my thinking about what it is I would want in a new partner, whenever that time comes. I wonder if I'm too picky or just demanding enough to not be disappointed again. And what is the end-all turn-off for you? Feel free to elaborate! Especially if the one you used to have has changed or if it was the cause of the end of your last relationship.) less
(The background of the question is my thinking about what it is I would want in a new partner, whenever that time comes. I wonder if I'm too picky or just demanding enough to not be disappointed again. And what is the end-all turn-off for you? Feel free to elaborate! Especially if the one you used to have has changed or if it was the cause of the end of your last relationship.) less
07/02/2011
Quote:
Will you consider a graduate from the school of hard knocks? Well, there would be no degree to which I would not be TRUE to you. lol And 6-10 times a week, my tongue has never gone limp. lol Has a nice night, Life. Someone with a degree and a good job will be very lucky; and happy.
Originally posted by
P'Gell
I can only pick one? I'm a picky chick. Education, (I like educated men, smart men.) Poverty, (sometimes it's not the person's fault, but I stay at home,(and run a business that makes no money at the present) we both can't. I'm
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I can only pick one? I'm a picky chick. Education, (I like educated men, smart men.) Poverty, (sometimes it's not the person's fault, but I stay at home,(and run a business that makes no money at the present) we both can't. I'm NOT supporting a man, Uh Uh.) I can't tolerate Hideously Right Wing. Or Racist. Plus if a guy doesn''t want sex at least 6-10 times a week, no deal. I am High Maintainence.
I mean a girl has to have Standards. Right? less
I mean a girl has to have Standards. Right? less
07/02/2011
Addiction and STD'S
07/02/2011
Quote:
My vote is for three actually, one of them being not mentioned. Both addiction and STD would be on my list, as would a history of being abusive toward women. I've been the girl that believed that abusive men could change and been proven wrong and simply no longer believe that a man that has hurt a woman once won't do it again.
Originally posted by
Darling Jen
Whether you're currently open to new sex partners (or significant others) or merely just open to fictional fantasies, what feature of him/her would be undo any possibility of choosing that particular person?
(The background of the question ... more
(The background of the question ... more
Whether you're currently open to new sex partners (or significant others) or merely just open to fictional fantasies, what feature of him/her would be undo any possibility of choosing that particular person?
(The background of the question is my thinking about what it is I would want in a new partner, whenever that time comes. I wonder if I'm too picky or just demanding enough to not be disappointed again. And what is the end-all turn-off for you? Feel free to elaborate! Especially if the one you used to have has changed or if it was the cause of the end of your last relationship.) less
(The background of the question is my thinking about what it is I would want in a new partner, whenever that time comes. I wonder if I'm too picky or just demanding enough to not be disappointed again. And what is the end-all turn-off for you? Feel free to elaborate! Especially if the one you used to have has changed or if it was the cause of the end of your last relationship.) less
07/06/2011
I'll go with STDs or AIDS. its just not my thing
07/06/2011
There are so many things that would be deal breakers for me. I am a very picky person. And I think you SHOULD be picky when looking for a long term relationship. When you are looking for someone to share your life with, you should be picky. Be very, very picky. It's for your own good.
07/06/2011
Addictions, STDs/HIV and Permanently Disabled are all issues for me.
07/06/2011
Quote:
Oh most certainly, yes! But the question was more for sexual relations and not long term relationships.
Originally posted by
Ivy Wilde
There are so many things that would be deal breakers for me. I am a very picky person. And I think you SHOULD be picky when looking for a long term relationship. When you are looking for someone to share your life with, you should be picky. Be
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There are so many things that would be deal breakers for me. I am a very picky person. And I think you SHOULD be picky when looking for a long term relationship. When you are looking for someone to share your life with, you should be picky. Be very, very picky. It's for your own good.
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07/06/2011
i voted STDs but addiction as well. i'm sure i would try to help someone out of it but there's not much you can do if someone is unwilling to quit themselves. i'd hate to be a drag with someone who contracted an STD or HIV but i simply couldn't put myself at risk. it would have to be a non-sexual relationship at that point.
07/06/2011