Why won't my husband get wild with me?

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Why won't my husband get wild with me?

SexyTigerX SexyTigerX
OK. I'm 47 and he's 52 and we 2 kids 13 & 10. On my b-day in July reality hit. I needed to lose waight and get my marriage back on track. We havn't had a very good relationship in years. Sometimes going 2 years without sex. So, I've lost 43lbs. and counting. I'm pretty hot again. I'm horny all the time. He was shocked when this change all came about. I've never been the aggesive one he was. But now I can't help myself and I think I've/we've earned the right to go all out and get wild and crazy with each other. He's not so receptive. I introduced him to my new vibes and now he loves using them on me. So, any ideas on how to get him to loosen up, try new things with me and get wild, down and crazy. Help, Love this place! CrystalGirl
01/12/2010
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Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyTigerX
OK. I'm 47 and he's 52 and we 2 kids 13 & 10. On my b-day in July reality hit. I needed to lose waight and get my marriage back on track. We havn't had a very good relationship in years. Sometimes going 2 years without sex. So, ...
First congratulations - 43lbs is amazing - and yes you deserve to enjoy your new body. But don't expect everything to change overnight. I'd suggest a little patience. I'm on the flip side of this trying to get my wife to try new things - and it's worked pretty well. The fact that he's Ok with your vibes is a great start. Keep introducing more and more things like Liberator Adventure Gear (we love the Wedge - but there are lost of options), new lingerie, dildos vibes, blindfolds, lubes, lotions, massages.

A fun project for you would be to teach yourself how to squirt (female ejaculation) - then teach him how to take you there.

For me it's all about persistence - enjoy the journey - there is no 'end point' just ramping up your fun along the way.
01/12/2010
deceased deceased
Wwayyyyyyda minute. You're married, sleep in the same bed and went two years without sex. It's not your body. Its a communication problem. I know you said you did not have a good relationship. What did you do to remedy this situation. Losing weight only makes a person physically smaller, it does not solve all problems magically, and it doesn't necessarily make you hotter. Why do you guys stay together? Is it because the kids? I don't think toys will fix this problem between you two. (Therapy together, maybe(. I do think toys are a good way to give yourself the sexual pleasure you need. Get a Hitachi wand and decide if your marriage is worth saving. Maybe your hot bod belongs somewhere else.
01/12/2010
Saraid Saraid
I'm going to have to ask the same as the poster above. If you and your husband aren't having sex you need communication, not just weight loss. Sit down with him and ask him why he isn't receptive to sex. If you haven't had sex in two years and are suddenly interested again it may confuse him.

You could also try therapy if you decide that you want to stay together.
01/12/2010
Dragon Dragon
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyTigerX
OK. I'm 47 and he's 52 and we 2 kids 13 & 10. On my b-day in July reality hit. I needed to lose waight and get my marriage back on track. We havn't had a very good relationship in years. Sometimes going 2 years without sex. So, ...
Umm. Maybe he has his own sexual issues and/or confidence issues.

There is a lot that isn't said here.
01/12/2010
J's Alley J's Alley
Quote:
Originally posted by Dragon
Umm. Maybe he has his own sexual issues and/or confidence issues.

There is a lot that isn't said here.
I have to agree here...you need to sit and speak with him candidly. While you have your reasons for going 2 years without sex, his may be completely different. There is a lot that needs to be talked about before you just jump in.
01/12/2010
SexyTigerX SexyTigerX
Quote:
Originally posted by deceased
Wwayyyyyyda minute. You're married, sleep in the same bed and went two years without sex. It's not your body. Its a communication problem. I know you said you did not have a good relationship. What did you do to remedy this situation. ...
Sorry I didn't explain very well. The 2 years was before Sep. Since then we have been working on our relationship and its been going great! Now we even have sex about twice a week. I'ld like more but I think we'll get there. He's just I think unsure about trying some new things and I really want us to spice it up. But, ready I think our marriage is back on the right track. Thank you all for your input. It really helps. CrystalGirl
01/12/2010
SexyTigerX SexyTigerX
Quote:
Originally posted by Dragon
Umm. Maybe he has his own sexual issues and/or confidence issues.

There is a lot that isn't said here.
Confidence issues and/or sexual issues, you may be right. He's blood pressure med maybe that has something to do with his libedo and he thinks he's too old. Silly right? Thanks
01/12/2010
SexyTigerX SexyTigerX
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
First congratulations - 43lbs is amazing - and yes you deserve to enjoy your new body. But don't expect everything to change overnight. I'd suggest a little patience. I'm on the flip side of this trying to get my wife to try new things - ...
Thanks for the input and advice. Persistence sounds like the ticket.
01/12/2010
*Country Girl Can Survive* *Country Girl Can Survive*
First off CONGRATS on the weight loss!!!

I think that him being receptive to the vibes is a good start vibe dance

also communication helps, maybe asking him what he would like to do spice things up.
01/12/2010
J's Alley J's Alley
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyTigerX
Confidence issues and/or sexual issues, you may be right. He's blood pressure med maybe that has something to do with his libedo and he thinks he's too old. Silly right? Thanks
Medications play a HUGE roll in sexuality. I have had to work on my own libido because of my meds. This is something to seriously look into. Once you know you can step it up from there.

I suggest each of you write a fantasy on paper and exchange them and grant the other person's wish. I also recommend books
01/12/2010
sandblastedskin sandblastedskin
Two years? Damn...
07/17/2010
fatesrelease fatesrelease
I just wanted to write and say that I am sorry that you are going through this. Maybe you guys should think about seeing a marriage counselor? Two years seems like a long time to go without and it seems as though this is caused by much deeper issues between the two of you. Good luck! I hope things work out and you should be proud of yourself for losing all that weight! It's hard! I'm jealous!
07/17/2010
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
OK - SexyTigrX - it's time for an update. Have things improved? If so, what did you do that worked - that we should also consider trying?
07/17/2010
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyTigerX
OK. I'm 47 and he's 52 and we 2 kids 13 & 10. On my b-day in July reality hit. I needed to lose waight and get my marriage back on track. We havn't had a very good relationship in years. Sometimes going 2 years without sex. So, ...
YES indeed...congrats on the amazing weight loss...but as for the sex, it sounds like he was already "coming around", when you say he "loves using the vibes on you". What are you looking for. What "new things" do you have in mind? Why not tell him exactly what you are looking for. Men need simple instructions, sometimes.
07/06/2011
Total posts: 15
Unique posters: 10