A Change In Boundaries

Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Since you first got married, have your boundaries changed? Are there more things you're willing to do now as opposed to when you were first married? How has it impacted your relationship?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
We've been married for less than a year
1
We've been married for 1-3 years
5
We've been married for 4-6 years
7
We've been married for 7-10 years
6
We've been married for 10+ years
18
And boundaries have remained the same
4
And boundaries have changed a little bit
13
And boundaries have changed a lot
16
And we're totally different people now
3
Other
2
Total votes: 75 (39 voters)
Poll is closed
03/15/2013
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Contributor: Sammi Sammi
After 21 years, our boundaries have definitely changed, and for the better
03/15/2013
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
This year was our ten year anniversary so I chose ten plus because we're still going. Anyway, we've changed a little bit over the years. We never used toys when we first were married and just started within the last year and a half. I've even opened his mind to where he will even use a toy and when I first started here he was totally against the idea of me using toys and didn't ever see himself using one.
03/15/2013
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Sammi
After 21 years, our boundaries have definitely changed, and for the better
Ditto here - 23+ years and thing just getting better because we're always adding in new things - to enhance old favorites.
03/16/2013
Contributor: js250 js250
Our boundaries keep changing to different levels as we try new toys. Our couple time has definitely improved with the changes and ability to experiment.

The basic big ones, though remain the same. There are a few boundaries that are set in stone such as no other people involved directly, etc. Those are non-negotiable very edge boundaries. Everything inside those lines are open for experimenting.
03/16/2013
Contributor: Hallmar82 Hallmar82
We've tried a lot of things but few have stayed regular. However, anal sex has become a semi-regular thing for us.
03/16/2013
Contributor: Msmueller Msmueller
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
Since you first got married, have your boundaries changed? Are there more things you're willing to do now as opposed to when you were first married? How has it impacted your relationship?
We got married at 18 and started dating at 15... so when we married it was basically missionary and very little else... Thank goodness weve expanded our repertoire!
03/16/2013
Contributor: headshrink headshrink
I'd say we've primarily become more open about our sexuality, so in that case boundaries have expanded a little, but "hard boundaries" remain.
03/18/2013
Contributor: tctink tctink
13 years together, and thankfully our boundaries change all the time. In fact we are always pushing each other a bit to find new things to try.

Not just bedroom boundaries by the way. Food, travel, life. Its what makes the best marriage in our opinion.
03/25/2013
Contributor: Bme Bme
I am more of a different person. I have learned to love myself and respect myself. This has led to me respecting my wife more. She has taught me what a wonderful person I am. I now have much better boundries and do not try to please others to get them to like me.
03/25/2013
Contributor: dancingduo dancingduo
Quote:
Originally posted by Bme
I am more of a different person. I have learned to love myself and respect myself. This has led to me respecting my wife more. She has taught me what a wonderful person I am. I now have much better boundries and do not try to please others to get ... more
I wish I could "like" your post!

as for us...5 years and kids kind kill creativity...but on occasion!
03/29/2013
Contributor: charmedtomeetyou charmedtomeetyou
Our boundaries have changed quite a bit. Adding anal play and all sorts of other exploration....
04/02/2013
Contributor: Kodie Kodie
Quote:
Originally posted by unfulfilled
This year was our ten year anniversary so I chose ten plus because we're still going. Anyway, we've changed a little bit over the years. We never used toys when we first were married and just started within the last year and a half. ... more
This is the same thing that happened to me. We are at 9.5 year now and I found eden. Now I am bringing toys in, .. so its nice to hear we have hope
06/24/2013
Contributor: Couple of Birds Couple of Birds
9 years in and the boundaries are definitely way more out there then when we were newly weds. Having children has also helped push what we try, or more specifically the when, where, and timing of everything.
06/28/2013
Contributor: GatorCouple GatorCouple
I bought my wife her very first toy last year. Its turned into an addiction, hah!
07/06/2013
Contributor: leanright69 leanright69
Our boundaries have not changed a lot but our communication has improved greatly. Improved communication gets rid of the fear of being rejected or thought a little too whatever. We both realized our boundaries were much broader than we wanted to admit.
07/16/2013
Contributor: Thong man Thong man
Me and my wife have always had a somewhat adventurous sex life (handcuffs, porn, vibrator...). After 15 yrs we finally moved into some ass play.
08/06/2013
Contributor: Gr8pumpkin Gr8pumpkin
Quote:
Originally posted by Thong man
Me and my wife have always had a somewhat adventurous sex life (handcuffs, porn, vibrator...). After 15 yrs we finally moved into some ass play.
Just passed the ten year mark, most of our boundary changes have been out of the bedroom.
Changes in how we play, vacation, work, eat and drink were all included.
I have to say it has been an interesting decade, and most enjoyable. I am looking forward to the next ten years, and beyond, which will include retirement of us both, and possibly relocating, maybe even internationally, and all the boundaries that will be involved it those processes.
08/07/2013
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
Since you first got married, have your boundaries changed? Are there more things you're willing to do now as opposed to when you were first married? How has it impacted your relationship?
After over 30 wonderful years with my amazing lover, I have no boundaries anymore...at least between he and I. As long as it is monogamous and in our home (or wherever we are), I am game to try anything, any time...and we do. No regrets or "darn, didn't like that's" yet!!!!
08/07/2013
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Gr8pumpkin
Just passed the ten year mark, most of our boundary changes have been out of the bedroom.
Changes in how we play, vacation, work, eat and drink were all included.
I have to say it has been an interesting decade, and most enjoyable. I am looking ... more
That's the ticket. Growing TOGETHER. Ain't it grand!!!!
08/07/2013
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Couple of Birds
9 years in and the boundaries are definitely way more out there then when we were newly weds. Having children has also helped push what we try, or more specifically the when, where, and timing of everything.
Ha...just wait till the kids are grown and gone. Then, in a good relationship, is really when the fun starts! Real freedom, in the comfort of a lover with total trust. Cannot beat it.
08/07/2013
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Thong man
Me and my wife have always had a somewhat adventurous sex life (handcuffs, porn, vibrator...). After 15 yrs we finally moved into some ass play.
Keep pushing the boundaries. Honestly, it keeps the excitement and the relationship hot, hot, hot.
08/07/2013
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by GatorCouple
I bought my wife her very first toy last year. Its turned into an addiction, hah!
At least you are at the right site to indulge that addiction!!!!
08/07/2013
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by charmedtomeetyou
Our boundaries have changed quite a bit. Adding anal play and all sorts of other exploration....
Funny how many people considered "anal" the boundary they "crossed". Since we always enjoyed anal play, I guess our boundaries were "elsewhere"!
08/07/2013
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by headshrink
I'd say we've primarily become more open about our sexuality, so in that case boundaries have expanded a little, but "hard boundaries" remain.
Our "hard boundaries" are simply anything outside our marriage. I simply cannot do the "sharing" thing. Never could, never will. I think honestly, he feels the same. Too much drama in bringing that "fantasy" to life for some friends of his who tried. Between the two of us, however, there are now no boundaries I can think of.

When you say "Hard Boundaries", what does that really entail?
08/07/2013
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by dancingduo
I wish I could "like" your post!

as for us...5 years and kids kind kill creativity...but on occasion!
1. When kids are little, date night is a must. When they are a little older 2. Either they "go away" for the night, or you do (sitter you trust, or family). You don't even have to go further then the nearest motel, but you do need "us alone" time. When you are at your 35th, you will be glad you did these things. The kids will be grown and gone, but it will still be just the two of you. So...where will your relationship be?
08/07/2013
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Ditto here - 23+ years and thing just getting better because we're always adding in new things - to enhance old favorites.
BINGO. Right there with you..and a decade beyond!!!
08/07/2013
Contributor: Sassy Pam Sassy Pam
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Ditto here - 23+ years and thing just getting better because we're always adding in new things - to enhance old favorites.
16+ Same here!
01/02/2014