Would you accept an assignment if your partner isn't sure?

BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
OK, so I have an assignment in my box that I'm trying to decide on. It's a realistic dildo. It's HUGE. It's 10 inches in length and like 7 inches around. I'm intrigued and a bit nervous because I've never had anything that big before. My Mister is unsure, he says that if I like it he's going to feel inadequate. Part of the reason that I agreed to do the review program was to spice things up even more. I don't want to make him feel inadequate, but I do, sort of, want to try the toy.

What would you do?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Accept
52  (55%)
Do Not Accept
21  (22%)
Other... of course.
22  (23%)
Total votes: 95
Poll is closed
11/10/2010
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BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
OK, so I have an assignment in my box that I'm trying to decide on. It's a realistic dildo. It's HUGE. It's 10 inches in length and like 7 inches around. I'm intrigued and a bit nervous because I've never had anything that ... More
And please explain your answer... It would help in my decision making if you are "pro" acceptance.
11/10/2010
Naughty Student Naughty Student
Personally, I would not accept.

My man is very nice enough to tolerate me reviewing toys, point final. I would never accept to review something that would make him feel inadequate bcs that would probably mean...no more reviewing and it could create some potential conflict in the relationship.

So my reviewing and my relationships well-being would be at stake if I were in your position. Depending on the dynamic of your relationship you should be able to tell what the consquences of your choice would bring.

I hope that helps.
11/10/2010
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
Personally, I would not accept.

My man is very nice enough to tolerate me reviewing toys, point final. I would never accept to review something that would make him feel inadequate bcs that would probably mean...no more reviewing and it could ... More
That does and that is where I'm leaning....

I'm only a little hesitant because it's really a very beautiful looking dildo and I'm a little curious about it, but you're right. My Mister's feelings and ego are more important than trying a toy. We make it a point to test toys together the first time and if he were feeding me that monster, well, it would take away from my experience anyway, worrying that he felt uncomfortable.

Thanks for responding.

BTW on the poll it's "accept the assignment" or "Do not" or "other" (because there always has to be an "other")
11/10/2010
Kindred Kindred
I think the real issue is finding out why your partner would feel threatened by a toy. Until you can resolve that issue I think you probably should not accept for the benefit of your relationship. How do you currently use dildos in partner play? Also, you need him to understand that no toy, no matter how big, replaces a living breathing person. I like using dildos on my wife and I'm admittedly below average in size. I want her to experience and enjoy what I know I can't provide. However, I also know that when it comes down to choosing, she'll take my cock over any toy no question about it. Hopefully you can get this issue resolved. And don't worry, there will always be more monster dildos to review down the line. Good luck.
11/10/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
And please explain your answer... It would help in my decision making if you are "pro" acceptance.
YOu really need to have a discussion with him about the difference between a huge piece of rubber (silicone, glass, metal ect.) and a lovely warm penis that you can feel the heartbeat through it's marvelous skin. You love him and his cock, nothing can replace him or his cock.
Explain to him that you are interested in trying this toy but that your vagina isn't going to streth out so your enjoyment of him won't change!
Take it from someone who has well over 70 vibes and dildos in ALL shapes and sizes as well as having two men with different shaped penises, NOTHING will replace the real thing! Having a lover with a larger penis didn't make me not want my husband's...and his having women with different sizes, shapes and smells didn't make him want to make love to me any less.
With a toy you are enjoying the textures, shape, size and maybe even the material differences. With a man you are enjoying all of his body and how it makes you feel from your nose to your toes. There simply is no comparison, he has NOTHING to feel jealous or inadequate about.
If he can discover WITH you the limits of your body, and maybe allow you to discover the limits of his body with him it can't help but draw you closer and give you a special bond that nothing can weaken.
For example: Sigel was abused after being tied up and couldn't ever imagine floggers, whips and bondage gear being exciting for him. These were things to be endured to please a lover, not something to bring pleasure. He told me repeatedly that he couldn't ever get excited with bondage gear. So I never got any, just used the gear owned by playmates without involving him. I saw a flogger I really wanted and requested to review it with our lifepartner. Well Sigel never wants to be left out of anything. So what I did was show him how excited I was about the flogger and I bought as many toys as I could afford that I knew he would enjoy. Last night he got the courage up to try using a flogger on me...when I was obviously excited by the whole experience it turned him on so much that even though it was very late at night we made very passionate love. He woke up a few hours later and was chuckling about how his dreams were all about flogging and doing equally nasty things to me! Breakthrough!
My point it anything can seem frightening or just threatening but if you give it a shot and revel in how amazing you make your partner feel it can be a beautiful intimate thing.
Anymore I don't refuse assignments because my partner(s) are intimidated but I might prepare them for the arrival of our new toy rather than springing it on them.
I do hope you can work it out because a body part dysmorphia or fear can damage so many wonderful relationships...lets face it you know damn well a pocket pussy can't replace or even replicate the amazingness of your own pussy, why would a dildo replace your man?
11/10/2010
Phoenix713 Phoenix713
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
OK, so I have an assignment in my box that I'm trying to decide on. It's a realistic dildo. It's HUGE. It's 10 inches in length and like 7 inches around. I'm intrigued and a bit nervous because I've never had anything that ... More
If you want it, then go for it.
11/10/2010
Alicia Alicia
I answered that I'd accept, but honestly it'd depend on how much the idea bothered my partner and if he maybe just needed a little reassurance. Because really liking a larger toy does not make your partner inadequate, and I'd try explaining that. I'm also at Eden to discover new things and we've tried some things that both of us weren't comfortable with until we tried them.

But in the end if my husband really didn't want me to review something than I wouldn't.
11/10/2010
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
I think the real issue is finding out why your partner would feel threatened by a toy. Until you can resolve that issue I think you probably should not accept for the benefit of your relationship. How do you currently use dildos in partner play? ... More
"you need him to understand that no toy, no matter how big, replaces a living breathing person"

Hit that right on the button.

Communication is key to this situation, after you tell him your desires and he still does not like it, pass this one up. Better to keep the peace.

Next time wait till it gets to the house to "notice the size"
just kidding
11/10/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
In terms of size, no. But for other things we have not tried and are a bit apprehensive to try we say yes, because you never know right?
11/10/2010
ToyGeek ToyGeek
Relationship issues aside, I'd be uncomfortable reviewing a toy with a partner who had a negative reaction to the possibility of it. I feel it might color the review.
11/10/2010
Research Research
I say go for it, I'm intimidated by big realistic dildos sometimes but I've never once worried someone would love a toy more than me. Tastes change and interests change, but never avoid something because you think you might like it.
11/10/2010
Jobthingy Jobthingy
For me personally, I would. But the Man has no issues with that. He knows that it is just a toy and never would replace him.

Like others have said, try talking about it.
11/10/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGeek
Relationship issues aside, I'd be uncomfortable reviewing a toy with a partner who had a negative reaction to the possibility of it. I feel it might color the review.
I agree. There has only been one thing I was curious about that my partner said "You are on your own" It's a DVD. His opinions about it already would change the review. I'll happily exclude him lol.
11/10/2010
Trashley Trashley
Accept it! But try it on your own haha
There's no way you're going to like a dildo more than your partner anyway..
11/10/2010
hive83 hive83
My wife has never tried one that size almost but not quite.But if she did i would not mind i actually would get turned on. Go for it.
11/10/2010
SexyTabby SexyTabby
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
OK, so I have an assignment in my box that I'm trying to decide on. It's a realistic dildo. It's HUGE. It's 10 inches in length and like 7 inches around. I'm intrigued and a bit nervous because I've never had anything that ... More
If your goal was to spice things up then getting an item he is not comfortable with would defeat that purpose. The question becomes how would it effect him if he isn't present for you to have solo play with the dildo?

I personally would move on to another item only because I would be trying to involve hubby but then a 10x7 dildo doesn't call me lol I might think differently if he didn't want my pure wand or something that I know I enjoy.
11/10/2010
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
I declined it. At this point in our toy-play, my hubby's feelings is WAY WAY WAY more important than a dildo. It's just a toy.
11/10/2010
ScottA ScottA
Depends on the feelings. If my spouse just wasn't interested in being involved with the review and I was interested in the toy I'd take it (but make sure it doesn't cut into our time). If there would be an issue from my using it on my own then I'd probably decline. Sometimes I even am a bit more strict than my wife - I don't review the "model" masturbators, and that decision was mine alone (don't know what she thinks about those specifically).
11/10/2010
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
YOu really need to have a discussion with him about the difference between a huge piece of rubber (silicone, glass, metal ect.) and a lovely warm penis that you can feel the heartbeat through it's marvelous skin. You love him and his cock, ... More
Ditto.
11/10/2010
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
YOu really need to have a discussion with him about the difference between a huge piece of rubber (silicone, glass, metal ect.) and a lovely warm penis that you can feel the heartbeat through it's marvelous skin. You love him and his cock, ... More
Ditty posted twice. Why I do not know. So I am editing my post as opposed to repeating myself. I however have nothing more to say. So I will say ....... hello.... is it me your looking for? ... ugh that song is so creepy.
11/10/2010
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
Depends on the feelings. If my spouse just wasn't interested in being involved with the review and I was interested in the toy I'd take it (but make sure it doesn't cut into our time). If there would be an issue from my using it on my own ... More
And that was part of the issue. It was not only realistic, it was a mold of some porn guy's penis, which IS a little creepy to both of us, and especially him. It's one thing to feed my puss a dildo, it's another to feed my puss someone else's penis that is now a dildo.
11/11/2010
Kindred Kindred
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
And that was part of the issue. It was not only realistic, it was a mold of some porn guy's penis, which IS a little creepy to both of us, and especially him. It's one thing to feed my puss a dildo, it's another to feed my puss someone ... More
I think you made the right choice declining the assignment. However, this is a great opportunity to open up the dialogue for more discussion. Hopefully, this only improves your relationship.
11/11/2010
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Emma (Girl With Fire)
Ditty posted twice. Why I do not know. So I am editing my post as opposed to repeating myself. I however have nothing more to say. So I will say ....... hello.... is it me your looking for? ... ugh that song is so creepy.
Thanks... now it's in MY head.
11/11/2010
Sir Sir
I wouldn't accept, especially if you really care about this partner. It's rude to do something against their wishes or that makes them feel uncomfortable. That's part of being in a relationship - doing things that you're BOTH comfortable with, not just yourself, and not just them. Maybe one day he'll open up to it, but right now, since he feels inadequate to it, I wouldn't accept the assignment. You can always buy it later to try it out, or buy toys of similar size if they do not carry it.
11/11/2010
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
Thanks... now it's in MY head.
sucker
11/11/2010
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
I think you made the right choice declining the assignment. However, this is a great opportunity to open up the dialogue for more discussion. Hopefully, this only improves your relationship.
Right now it's on the back burner of discussion to let emotions calm down. I think the key in this for us is: Realistic is one thing... a model of someone else's naughty bits is another. And really, that's OK with me.
11/11/2010
Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
Right now it's on the back burner of discussion to let emotions calm down. I think the key in this for us is: Realistic is one thing... a model of someone else's naughty bits is another. And really, that's OK with me.
Well atleast he's ok with the realistic bit...mine is not remotely interested in seeing me use something that looks phallic in any way...except my glass dildo...but its not very realistic...is it?
11/19/2010
buzzvibe buzzvibe
Tough call. Personally, I don't get my hub's approval before reviewing anything, but I don't tend to go for realistic toys. I see sex toys more like appliances that exist to do a job; They're a labor-saving devices, not replacements for the real thing. Sorry I'm no help!
11/26/2010
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
I declined it. At this point in our toy-play, my hubby's feelings is WAY WAY WAY more important than a dildo. It's just a toy.
I feel the same.
11/26/2010
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