Hubby's feelings always come first.
Would you accept an assignment if your partner isn't sure?
01/05/2011
Quote:
how do i get the assignment to get shipped? idk how it works. i wouldnt personally
Originally posted by
BBW Talks Toys
OK, so I have an assignment in my box that I'm trying to decide on. It's a realistic dildo. It's HUGE. It's 10 inches in length and like 7 inches around. I'm intrigued and a bit nervous because I've never had anything that
...
more
OK, so I have an assignment in my box that I'm trying to decide on. It's a realistic dildo. It's HUGE. It's 10 inches in length and like 7 inches around. I'm intrigued and a bit nervous because I've never had anything that big before. My Mister is unsure, he says that if I like it he's going to feel inadequate. Part of the reason that I agreed to do the review program was to spice things up even more. I don't want to make him feel inadequate, but I do, sort of, want to try the toy.
What would you do? less
What would you do? less
01/23/2011
I know that my husband would really, really want too. But I know he would talk with me first. Although, he has gotten things that I am not sure about because we end up talking about it-I end up more comfortable with the new situation or toy,as it were. I would hate it if we had a breakdown in communication, I believe it would then lead to a breakdown in other areas of our relationship that weren't so private and personal. (If that makes sense?)
I didn't vote but I really think it is something that would need to be discussed first to see how the other party felt.
I didn't vote but I really think it is something that would need to be discussed first to see how the other party felt.
01/27/2011
I would accept it, and if he did not like it, I would get rid of it. But my husband is sweet enough to be happy with that compromise
02/07/2011
Quote:
The problem with this is that if you accept the assignment you are OBLIGATED to review it. You can't just be like, "Oh, I didn't use it because my partner didn't like it!" This is why you have the choice to accept or decline an assignment.
Originally posted by
Kaltir
I would accept it, and if he did not like it, I would get rid of it. But my husband is sweet enough to be happy with that compromise
02/18/2011
Quote:
This is hard for me because I always try to be respectful of the wishes of my partner when choosing and having toys. He sometimes feels inadequate by some of my toys, but I just explain to him that they are only toys and the real thing is ALWAYS better. That usually does the trick. If he really is uncomfortable with it and not budging on his decision, I would deny the product.
Originally posted by
BBW Talks Toys
OK, so I have an assignment in my box that I'm trying to decide on. It's a realistic dildo. It's HUGE. It's 10 inches in length and like 7 inches around. I'm intrigued and a bit nervous because I've never had anything that
...
more
OK, so I have an assignment in my box that I'm trying to decide on. It's a realistic dildo. It's HUGE. It's 10 inches in length and like 7 inches around. I'm intrigued and a bit nervous because I've never had anything that big before. My Mister is unsure, he says that if I like it he's going to feel inadequate. Part of the reason that I agreed to do the review program was to spice things up even more. I don't want to make him feel inadequate, but I do, sort of, want to try the toy.
What would you do? less
What would you do? less
02/18/2011
I have the same problem. There are a lot of reviews I'd like to do, but my partner is pretty vanilla, so she's trying to steer me away from some of the assignments I'd like to take. Even my fleshlight has the tendency to make her feel inadequate, which I didn't anticipate.
Anyway, the whole point of doing this is to broaden your horizons and have fun, but if it's going to cause resentment or harm your sex life with your parnter, I think you were right to just decline.
Anyway, the whole point of doing this is to broaden your horizons and have fun, but if it's going to cause resentment or harm your sex life with your parnter, I think you were right to just decline.
02/18/2011
Quote:
My Mr has become MUCH more comfortable lately. It took about 3 months of reviewing to be like, "Let's try WHATEVER!" Now that he sees how HE'S the one controlling the toys and sees my reaction to them, it's much different than at the beginning. (when I posted this!)
Originally posted by
That Guy
I have the same problem. There are a lot of reviews I'd like to do, but my partner is pretty vanilla, so she's trying to steer me away from some of the assignments I'd like to take. Even my fleshlight has the tendency to make her feel
...
more
I have the same problem. There are a lot of reviews I'd like to do, but my partner is pretty vanilla, so she's trying to steer me away from some of the assignments I'd like to take. Even my fleshlight has the tendency to make her feel inadequate, which I didn't anticipate.
Anyway, the whole point of doing this is to broaden your horizons and have fun, but if it's going to cause resentment or harm your sex life with your parnter, I think you were right to just decline. less
Anyway, the whole point of doing this is to broaden your horizons and have fun, but if it's going to cause resentment or harm your sex life with your parnter, I think you were right to just decline. less
02/18/2011
Quote:
I agree with this. But hey, I say TRY it! Try it just to say you have, so you know what it's like to have something that big. You can use it here or there, not every day. But if it REALLY bothers him, get rid of it or let it sit in the back of your dresser (rarely use it). Thanks what I would do anyways, if I REALLY wanted to try something that 'Mr.' wouldn't agree with.
Originally posted by
Naughty Student
Personally, I would not accept.
My man is very nice enough to tolerate me reviewing toys, point final. I would never accept to review something that would make him feel inadequate bcs that would probably mean...no more reviewing and it could ... more
My man is very nice enough to tolerate me reviewing toys, point final. I would never accept to review something that would make him feel inadequate bcs that would probably mean...no more reviewing and it could ... more
Personally, I would not accept.
My man is very nice enough to tolerate me reviewing toys, point final. I would never accept to review something that would make him feel inadequate bcs that would probably mean...no more reviewing and it could create some potential conflict in the relationship.
So my reviewing and my relationships well-being would be at stake if I were in your position. Depending on the dynamic of your relationship you should be able to tell what the consquences of your choice would bring.
I hope that helps. less
My man is very nice enough to tolerate me reviewing toys, point final. I would never accept to review something that would make him feel inadequate bcs that would probably mean...no more reviewing and it could create some potential conflict in the relationship.
So my reviewing and my relationships well-being would be at stake if I were in your position. Depending on the dynamic of your relationship you should be able to tell what the consquences of your choice would bring.
I hope that helps. less
02/18/2011
Quote:
Your mister could make it a game and they could be in charge of the dildo; deciding when and how you are going to take it! Maybe it would be used as a reward for good behavior or punishment for bad. I can completely appreciate a man feeling daunted by how big some dildos get but the man has something a dildo will never have; their mouth and fingers, hands and teeth, words and commands.
Originally posted by
BBW Talks Toys
OK, so I have an assignment in my box that I'm trying to decide on. It's a realistic dildo. It's HUGE. It's 10 inches in length and like 7 inches around. I'm intrigued and a bit nervous because I've never had anything that
...
more
OK, so I have an assignment in my box that I'm trying to decide on. It's a realistic dildo. It's HUGE. It's 10 inches in length and like 7 inches around. I'm intrigued and a bit nervous because I've never had anything that big before. My Mister is unsure, he says that if I like it he's going to feel inadequate. Part of the reason that I agreed to do the review program was to spice things up even more. I don't want to make him feel inadequate, but I do, sort of, want to try the toy.
What would you do? less
What would you do? less
02/18/2011
Quote:
This is all moot since I declined this assignment 3 months ago. But if we were offered something like this now, it would be a totally different experience with accepting it.
Originally posted by
Serendipity
Your mister could make it a game and they could be in charge of the dildo; deciding when and how you are going to take it! Maybe it would be used as a reward for good behavior or punishment for bad. I can completely appreciate a man feeling daunted
...
more
Your mister could make it a game and they could be in charge of the dildo; deciding when and how you are going to take it! Maybe it would be used as a reward for good behavior or punishment for bad. I can completely appreciate a man feeling daunted by how big some dildos get but the man has something a dildo will never have; their mouth and fingers, hands and teeth, words and commands.
less
less
02/18/2011
I would accept.
I would just use it when he was not there and not bring it up. If he asked about it I would be sure to let him know how much more I enjoy him than the toy even if I really really liked the toy, simply because it would be true. There's not a thing in the world that can replace the feel of a man and I'd never pick to use the toy over him in the end, but I think it would be worth trying none the less. I would do my best to make him feel less insecure and if after I used it and my review was done he was still not pleased the toy would go.
Luckily for me, my boyfriend is not insecure in the least and it's not a situation I think I'll ever have to deal with, but I've met a lot of men who are. Our room mate won't even let his girlfriend get a toy - period - because he's worried about feeling inadequate.
I would just use it when he was not there and not bring it up. If he asked about it I would be sure to let him know how much more I enjoy him than the toy even if I really really liked the toy, simply because it would be true. There's not a thing in the world that can replace the feel of a man and I'd never pick to use the toy over him in the end, but I think it would be worth trying none the less. I would do my best to make him feel less insecure and if after I used it and my review was done he was still not pleased the toy would go.
Luckily for me, my boyfriend is not insecure in the least and it's not a situation I think I'll ever have to deal with, but I've met a lot of men who are. Our room mate won't even let his girlfriend get a toy - period - because he's worried about feeling inadequate.
02/18/2011
Quote:
You've come a long way in the 3 months then! Kudos to you and your mister If you dont mind me asking was it the big boy? (just sounds like it from your description :p)
Originally posted by
BBW Talks Toys
This is all moot since I declined this assignment 3 months ago. But if we were offered something like this now, it would be a totally different experience with accepting it.
02/18/2011
Quote:
No, it was this: link
Originally posted by
Ajax
You've come a long way in the 3 months then! Kudos to you and your mister If you dont mind me asking was it the big boy? (just sounds like it from your description :p)
And after I read the review I was really glad I didn't take it.
But your previous recommendation, at the time that we were offered this, wouldn't have worked for our marriage. He would have felt deceived(??). I guess, even more insecure, if on top of accepting it without his being comfortable, I also "sneaked" around to play with it. It would make him feel more insecure, especially if I had liked it.
02/18/2011
Quote:
I chose Accept. Heres why. And by the way, what I say is all my opinion.
Originally posted by
BBW Talks Toys
OK, so I have an assignment in my box that I'm trying to decide on. It's a realistic dildo. It's HUGE. It's 10 inches in length and like 7 inches around. I'm intrigued and a bit nervous because I've never had anything that
...
more
OK, so I have an assignment in my box that I'm trying to decide on. It's a realistic dildo. It's HUGE. It's 10 inches in length and like 7 inches around. I'm intrigued and a bit nervous because I've never had anything that big before. My Mister is unsure, he says that if I like it he's going to feel inadequate. Part of the reason that I agreed to do the review program was to spice things up even more. I don't want to make him feel inadequate, but I do, sort of, want to try the toy.
What would you do? less
What would you do? less
I do what I do because it makes me happy. My husband knows I do this, and thinks its hot. He says I can get anything I want - long as its not anal for him LOL. He doesn't want much for himself, he wants me to enjoy this.
I understand that some of you are in master/slave relationships, and that you need permission to do what you want - but for me, I do not need permission.
You said you started doing this so that you can spice it up and try new things, but you cannot do that if theres stipulations and certain things you cannot try. I do not understand why he would be jealous of a toy, that is made from a mold, that is not real. Its not like its another man that is more endowed then he is. He should enjoy watching you get pleasure, he should enjoy teasing you with it, and it should be an experience for both of you.
Personally, my husband does not get jealous of these toys - he finds it hot. When asked if I was to get a big toy like that, his answer is simply "thats hot".
You should have a talk with your man and ask him what about it makes him feel jealous/inferior/whate ver term you want to use here. Talk about it together, and have a conversation, tell him its a toy, its not real, and nothing could replace the feeling that a real dick gives.
Good luck girl.
02/23/2011
I would totally take it...he doesn't have to use it with you and after all you may not even end up liking it
03/13/2011
Tough one. I would say yes because it's only a toy, but if it interferes with a relationship, no
03/21/2011
I wouldn't take it. There isn't much that my husband would downright say no to, so I know if he didn't want to do it, it would be for a pretty good reason.
03/22/2011
Quote:
I loved your response here...
Originally posted by
Airen Wolf
YOu really need to have a discussion with him about the difference between a huge piece of rubber (silicone, glass, metal ect.) and a lovely warm penis that you can feel the heartbeat through it's marvelous skin. You love him and his cock,
...
more
YOu really need to have a discussion with him about the difference between a huge piece of rubber (silicone, glass, metal ect.) and a lovely warm penis that you can feel the heartbeat through it's marvelous skin. You love him and his cock, nothing can replace him or his cock.
Explain to him that you are interested in trying this toy but that your vagina isn't going to streth out so your enjoyment of him won't change!
Take it from someone who has well over 70 vibes and dildos in ALL shapes and sizes as well as having two men with different shaped penises, NOTHING will replace the real thing! Having a lover with a larger penis didn't make me not want my husband's...and his having women with different sizes, shapes and smells didn't make him want to make love to me any less.
With a toy you are enjoying the textures, shape, size and maybe even the material differences. With a man you are enjoying all of his body and how it makes you feel from your nose to your toes. There simply is no comparison, he has NOTHING to feel jealous or inadequate about.
If he can discover WITH you the limits of your body, and maybe allow you to discover the limits of his body with him it can't help but draw you closer and give you a special bond that nothing can weaken.
For example: Sigel was abused after being tied up and couldn't ever imagine floggers, whips and bondage gear being exciting for him. These were things to be endured to please a lover, not something to bring pleasure. He told me repeatedly that he couldn't ever get excited with bondage gear. So I never got any, just used the gear owned by playmates without involving him. I saw a flogger I really wanted and requested to review it with our lifepartner. Well Sigel never wants to be left out of anything. So what I did was show him how excited I was about the flogger and I bought as many toys as I could afford that I knew he would enjoy. Last night he got the courage up to try using a flogger on me...when I was obviously excited by the whole experience it turned him on so much that even though it was very late at night we made very passionate love. He woke up a few hours later and was chuckling about how his dreams were all about flogging and doing equally nasty things to me! Breakthrough!
My point it anything can seem frightening or just threatening but if you give it a shot and revel in how amazing you make your partner feel it can be a beautiful intimate thing.
Anymore I don't refuse assignments because my partner(s) are intimidated but I might prepare them for the arrival of our new toy rather than springing it on them.
I do hope you can work it out because a body part dysmorphia or fear can damage so many wonderful relationships...lets face it you know damn well a pocket pussy can't replace or even replicate the amazingness of your own pussy, why would a dildo replace your man? less
Explain to him that you are interested in trying this toy but that your vagina isn't going to streth out so your enjoyment of him won't change!
Take it from someone who has well over 70 vibes and dildos in ALL shapes and sizes as well as having two men with different shaped penises, NOTHING will replace the real thing! Having a lover with a larger penis didn't make me not want my husband's...and his having women with different sizes, shapes and smells didn't make him want to make love to me any less.
With a toy you are enjoying the textures, shape, size and maybe even the material differences. With a man you are enjoying all of his body and how it makes you feel from your nose to your toes. There simply is no comparison, he has NOTHING to feel jealous or inadequate about.
If he can discover WITH you the limits of your body, and maybe allow you to discover the limits of his body with him it can't help but draw you closer and give you a special bond that nothing can weaken.
For example: Sigel was abused after being tied up and couldn't ever imagine floggers, whips and bondage gear being exciting for him. These were things to be endured to please a lover, not something to bring pleasure. He told me repeatedly that he couldn't ever get excited with bondage gear. So I never got any, just used the gear owned by playmates without involving him. I saw a flogger I really wanted and requested to review it with our lifepartner. Well Sigel never wants to be left out of anything. So what I did was show him how excited I was about the flogger and I bought as many toys as I could afford that I knew he would enjoy. Last night he got the courage up to try using a flogger on me...when I was obviously excited by the whole experience it turned him on so much that even though it was very late at night we made very passionate love. He woke up a few hours later and was chuckling about how his dreams were all about flogging and doing equally nasty things to me! Breakthrough!
My point it anything can seem frightening or just threatening but if you give it a shot and revel in how amazing you make your partner feel it can be a beautiful intimate thing.
Anymore I don't refuse assignments because my partner(s) are intimidated but I might prepare them for the arrival of our new toy rather than springing it on them.
I do hope you can work it out because a body part dysmorphia or fear can damage so many wonderful relationships...lets face it you know damn well a pocket pussy can't replace or even replicate the amazingness of your own pussy, why would a dildo replace your man? less
03/22/2011
Just do it! It will be fun!
04/13/2011
Quote:
ACCCEPT
Originally posted by
BBW Talks Toys
OK, so I have an assignment in my box that I'm trying to decide on. It's a realistic dildo. It's HUGE. It's 10 inches in length and like 7 inches around. I'm intrigued and a bit nervous because I've never had anything that
...
more
OK, so I have an assignment in my box that I'm trying to decide on. It's a realistic dildo. It's HUGE. It's 10 inches in length and like 7 inches around. I'm intrigued and a bit nervous because I've never had anything that big before. My Mister is unsure, he says that if I like it he's going to feel inadequate. Part of the reason that I agreed to do the review program was to spice things up even more. I don't want to make him feel inadequate, but I do, sort of, want to try the toy.
What would you do? less
What would you do? less
04/14/2011
talk it out. If you can come to an understanding review it...if not don't
04/14/2011
Thanks for all the advice. We're way beyond this.
04/14/2011
Its just a toy, im sure youll have other opportunities to try something familiar.
04/15/2011
He: If she got one that was too big, I'd test it out for her.
She: I guess that rules out any discomfort. He's freakishly secure about everything though. I could come home with a telephone pole of a dildo and say I'd never been so satisfied and he'd just shrug and say "cool".
She: I guess that rules out any discomfort. He's freakishly secure about everything though. I could come home with a telephone pole of a dildo and say I'd never been so satisfied and he'd just shrug and say "cool".
04/15/2011
Personally, I love pleasuring my wife with dildos. It gives me a chance to witness what is going on down there since I typically don't get that vantage point.
To be honest though, my wife probably wouldn't want something that big. She enjoys my size and perhaps a little bigger. Anything much larger she usually balks at.
To be honest though, my wife probably wouldn't want something that big. She enjoys my size and perhaps a little bigger. Anything much larger she usually balks at.
12/11/2011
I said "don't", because I would never do anything to make my husband feel inadequate, even accidentally. If you do, however, opt on getting it - I'd have him use it on you so he's involved.
12/11/2011
Quote:
This is tough...i really dont know the right responds
Originally posted by
BBW Talks Toys
OK, so I have an assignment in my box that I'm trying to decide on. It's a realistic dildo. It's HUGE. It's 10 inches in length and like 7 inches around. I'm intrigued and a bit nervous because I've never had anything that
...
more
OK, so I have an assignment in my box that I'm trying to decide on. It's a realistic dildo. It's HUGE. It's 10 inches in length and like 7 inches around. I'm intrigued and a bit nervous because I've never had anything that big before. My Mister is unsure, he says that if I like it he's going to feel inadequate. Part of the reason that I agreed to do the review program was to spice things up even more. I don't want to make him feel inadequate, but I do, sort of, want to try the toy.
What would you do? less
What would you do? less
12/11/2011
I wouldn't risk my marriage for a toy.
09/22/2012
Quote:
to be honest with you just leave it hanging around or review the toy alone. my husband was appaused to sex toys but he warmed up to it later.
Originally posted by
BBW Talks Toys
OK, so I have an assignment in my box that I'm trying to decide on. It's a realistic dildo. It's HUGE. It's 10 inches in length and like 7 inches around. I'm intrigued and a bit nervous because I've never had anything that
...
more
OK, so I have an assignment in my box that I'm trying to decide on. It's a realistic dildo. It's HUGE. It's 10 inches in length and like 7 inches around. I'm intrigued and a bit nervous because I've never had anything that big before. My Mister is unsure, he says that if I like it he's going to feel inadequate. Part of the reason that I agreed to do the review program was to spice things up even more. I don't want to make him feel inadequate, but I do, sort of, want to try the toy.
What would you do? less
What would you do? less
09/22/2012
Total posts: 60
Unique posters: 43
- 1
-
2