Cheating

sexyintexas sexyintexas
Would you ever forgive your spouse for cheating?
04/04/2011
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danellejohns danellejohns
Quote:
Originally posted by sexyintexas
Would you ever forgive your spouse for cheating?
That is hard one, but in I do believe that I would eventually forgive. That does not mean that I will ever forget, I just can't see myself holding a grudge or not forgiving someone (no matter what they do/did), life is to short for that.
04/04/2011
married with children married with children
I dont think that I could. I believe that is something that would take the trust out of the marriage, and you would not be able to get it back. Without trust, what do you have?
04/05/2011
danellejohns danellejohns
Quote:
Originally posted by married with children
I dont think that I could. I believe that is something that would take the trust out of the marriage, and you would not be able to get it back. Without trust, what do you have?
I also agree that without trust, a marriage probably would have hard time surviving. I am going to clear my statement up a bit, hope you all don't mind. I would forgive eventually (which is different to me than trust) But I would not be able to continue the marriage because the trust would be gone. Does that make sense?
04/05/2011
Lucidity Lucidity
I think it depends a lot on the situation.
04/05/2011
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Lucidity
I think it depends a lot on the situation.
DITTO. Forgive is more possible than get over.
04/05/2011
KrystalFayeO KrystalFayeO
Never, when my husband and I got married we promised each other that we would never do that to each other and the other has permission to kill the cheater
04/05/2011
Brandi Rouxxx Brandi Rouxxx
I have already, but then again, I was cheating on him at the same time. It was while we were dating. I forgave him and he forgave me. Neither of us have cheated on each other since. We've been faithful to one another ever since and will continue to be. If he DID go and cheat on me again, yea I'd forgive him, but I wouldn't stay with him. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
04/05/2011
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by KrystalFayeO
Never, when my husband and I got married we promised each other that we would never do that to each other and the other has permission to kill the cheater
We have a similar arrangement at my house but instead of killing, it more just involves me removing his boy parts....with a rusty kitchen utensil dipped in lemon juice
04/05/2011
PassionQT PassionQT
Mine did once and I forgave him. I definitely think it was a shitty thing to do at the time, because I wouldn't have, but it wasn't enough to ruin our marriage. Now when he gets the urge, I just tell him to go do his thing, so long as I know who it is with.
04/05/2011
*HisMrs* *HisMrs*
Quote:
Originally posted by married with children
I dont think that I could. I believe that is something that would take the trust out of the marriage, and you would not be able to get it back. Without trust, what do you have?
I agree!
04/05/2011
tickle me pink tickle me pink
Quote:
Originally posted by KrystalFayeO
Never, when my husband and I got married we promised each other that we would never do that to each other and the other has permission to kill the cheater
My husband and I have a similar agreement.
04/07/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
We have a similar arrangement at my house but instead of killing, it more just involves me removing his boy parts....with a rusty kitchen utensil dipped in lemon juice
LMAO! I agree!
04/07/2011
KrystalFayeO KrystalFayeO
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
We have a similar arrangement at my house but instead of killing, it more just involves me removing his boy parts....with a rusty kitchen utensil dipped in lemon juice
oh I think I like that better, so instead of just being dead he will remember what he did forever!
04/07/2011
CAMtnMan CAMtnMan
Don't think I could ever forgive it (and I think she would say the same thing). As our relationship is right now (and we've been together 12 years, married 9), I can tell her I'm going out to a bar with a friend of mine and three women she doesn't know, come home drunk at 2am, and she's not mad or upset because she trusts me and knows I wouldn't/didn't do anything. She could call me up after a night on the town with a male friend, say she's too tired/drunk to drive home, stay over, and I wouldn't be jealous or upset. If either of us ever cheated, that trust would be lost and so would the freedom we enjoy within our marriage. Then all thats left is jealousy, doubt, and suck (not the good kind).
04/17/2011
hjtee hjtee
Yes.
Without a doubt in my mind.
I don't even feel the need to elaborate, it's a definite yes.
04/17/2011
PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
I would find it hard to forgive, but it would depend entirely on the circumstances. I would be very upset no matter what.
04/17/2011
kendra30752 kendra30752
I'm a very forgiving person, I mean VERY! I've forgiven people who most women would have had murdered. I do it for myself more than the person who wronged me. I do not want to live with a grudge/hatred/unforgiv eness. It can make you a nasty person. I don't ever want to be that way, but I could never be on good terms with a cheater. I couldn't imagine my parnter cheating at all! I mean I couldn't ever even imagine him WANTING to. So it would totally devastate me. I'd certainly never trust anyone again. I mean if he couldn't even be faithful to me, then I'm certain that nobody would. I would do whatever I had to to forgive him, but I'd never want him in my life again.
04/19/2011
DancerLove DancerLove
People need to know the difference between forgiveness and forgetting. Yes, forgiveness is possible, but no one forgets stuff like that. My husband, I have found, has cheated on me or has tried to and I haven't forgiven him for that and I probably won't for many many years. He thinks that I need to forget it and since it's in the past, that I need to leave it in the past and basically, excuse it. He thinks that I should be able to excuse that stuff. But It is EXTREMELY hard to forgive, but yes, it is possible. I can be a forgiving person, but I dont' know how I could do that right now with him having a lot of other problems go with it. Let's just say, for lack of better terms, my husband is a manwhore. He knows he is. He brags about how many girls he's been with, and by girls, I mean girls, not women. He thinks its funny. He just says that they were experiments so he can be great for me. Hah, LMAO. But honestly, I dont really know if I can. I'm scared to forgive him because I know that he might do it again. That's the kind of person he is. He isn't the one girl committed type. He needs more than one to be happy it seems like, or whatever I know from his past. It's really scary. and unfortunately, I am only 20 years old and I'm already going through this.
04/27/2011
DancerLove DancerLove
Quote:
Originally posted by married with children
I dont think that I could. I believe that is something that would take the trust out of the marriage, and you would not be able to get it back. Without trust, what do you have?
Exactly! My husband says that I need to fully trust him, but with everything that he has done whether it be abuse or cheating, he thinks that I should be able to excuse it and trust him. He says that if I don't trust him, then he can't change and we won't make any progress. He's right in a way, but no, trust is earned, not given. And he needs to earn that trust back from me. I have lost almost all faith and trust in him. It's sad.
04/27/2011
SugarAndSpice SugarAndSpice
I don't think I could. It would feel like the ultimate betrayal after he promised that he would never do such a thing. I definitely wouldn't be able to get over it even if I tried to forgive him. My trust in him would be gone.
04/28/2011
purplekidney purplekidney
She: If it was an intentional affair, no way. If it was a drunken one night thing... it would be harder to decide, but I think that if someone really doesn't want to cheat, they won't, even drunk. He's said he's turned away girls in his dreams because they're not me, so I think I'm safe

He: That's commitment right there. I'm in the same boat as she is here.
04/29/2011
Bonesdance Bonesdance
Depends: one time indiscretion followed by sincere contrition, sure; long-term affair with remorse only when caught, no freaking way.
05/09/2011
froggiemoma froggiemoma
nope
05/09/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
I can forgive family but if anyone else does the dirty on me, I hold a grudge for eternity!
It takes a LOT for me to fully trust someone and if they broke that, I'm not sure I could ever trust them again. If I didn't get rid of their sorry ass straight away, the relationship would break down anyway without trust!

The way I see it, if someone is unhappy enough to cheat on their partner, what the hell are they staying in the relationship for??? In my mind, there's no excuse. I'd never cheat on a partner and I demand the same in return. If they want to cheat, then clearly they aren't good enough for me.
05/09/2011
kendra30752 kendra30752
Quote:
Originally posted by DancerLove
People need to know the difference between forgiveness and forgetting. Yes, forgiveness is possible, but no one forgets stuff like that. My husband, I have found, has cheated on me or has tried to and I haven't forgiven him for that and I ... More
I cannot imagine the torment you go through over that I'm so sorry. I understand what you mean. That's not something you can leave in the past and forget. You would need a lot of time to fully heal and be able to mourn and question and all before you could ever get closure much less heal. I honestly don't know that it would even be possibly to fully heal from something like that. Gosh, I couldn't imagine the hurt of hearing my partner brag about it. It'd make me worry that he wasn't truly sorry. Your definitely a strong, courageous woman! I'm so sorry to you for having to endure that. I'm only 21 and my partner and I have been together for 5 years and I truly would be beyond devastated.
05/12/2011
0letitgrow 0letitgrow
All you can do is try your hardest to get over it. I would give it my best shot.
05/14/2011
evelyn15401 evelyn15401
05/16/2011
cobiffle cobiffle
Quote:
Originally posted by danellejohns
That is hard one, but in I do believe that I would eventually forgive. That does not mean that I will ever forget, I just can't see myself holding a grudge or not forgiving someone (no matter what they do/did), life is to short for that.
IT would be extremely hard, my ex did n i couldnt ever be with her again
05/16/2011
N&M N&M
Quote:
Originally posted by sexyintexas
Would you ever forgive your spouse for cheating?
I tend to think no, but I guess I wouldn't really know without being there.
08/04/2011
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