Do you feel that flirting with someone other than your S/O can hurt or invigorate a long term relationship?

NuMe NuMe
I'm kind of on the fence about how I feel about this, so I would love to hear others opinions. Besides answering the poll, I would love to hear everyone's personal input as well.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
It could damage the relationship
Sir , VampKitty , Persephone Nightmare , Yoda , Kindred , Pleasure Piratess , Spilock , Darling Jen , Hannah Savage , sasweetheart89 , TechyDad , Midway through , newbern2004 , Selective Sensualist , darthkitt3n , PussyGalore , PropertyOfPotter , leatherlover , *HisMrs* , C4ss , Dillicious , Desiree Tatro , Gunsmoke , indiglo , CarmenGore262 , CandyGirly , purplekidney , MaryExy , ToyGurl , onehotmama , Miss Nessa , kokopelli , [Red] , Apirka , Eliyahu , MissMandii , SexyRayne , Squeaky , Cwhitten006 , Mistress Sassy , sexxxkitten , Terri69 , skeeterlynn , Undead , js250 , All His , xOhxSoxScandalousx , Mew , MistressDandelion , Jeanette , jmex83 , caligaliber , MissYouBubbles , Undecided , potstickers , SneakersAndPearls , edenguy , Rin Rin , SavingMyself , Teaser
60  (62%)
It could invigorate the relationship
joja , Sera , Tart , mama2007 , jc123 , icantgrep
6  (6%)
Other (please explain)
Sammi , Airen Wolf , trios , Chilipepper , Alicia , Danielle915 , StrawberryEve , Penguin , BBW Talks Toys , ToyGeek , mnc5051 , Jenn (aka kissmykitty) , Naughty Student , UnknownGirl , Shellz31 , clp , sweet seduction , Alan & Michele , deletedacct , kawigrl , toxie m , link82 , bunny love , pixieluv , mandiegk , TexasBrat , humblepie , Ms. N , Mrs. Tickle and Giggle , gsfanatic
30  (31%)
Total votes: 96
Poll is closed
10/22/2010
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Sammi Sammi
I think it depends on the kind of flirting you're doing. Innocent flirting, light flirting, flirting with your partner's consent that isn't going anywhere can be invigorating. But if there's a possibility that it's going to go farther, I don't think it's a good idea.
10/22/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by NuMe
I'm kind of on the fence about how I feel about this, so I would love to hear others opinions. Besides answering the poll, I would love to hear everyone's personal input as well.
I will agree with Sammi and add that it really really depends on the relationship. For us going as far as watching each other have full on sex with another person not only invigorated our relationship it flat out saved it. Do I think this is true for every one? Hell no! Do I recommend it? Hell no! What I do recommend is talking about it openly, taking small steps and testing the water with some minor teasing first.
Now we aren't spring chickens Sigel and I...we had been together for 23 years when we decided we needed to reinvent, reinvigorate, reimage...whatever you wanna call it, our relationship.
The reason it, light flirting or full on whatever, can help a long term relationship is it allows your partner to see another side of you that he/she may not have seen for many years. It allows him/her to relax in the glow of seeing how attractive his/her partner is to others. It can help you remember WHY you fell in love with this amazing creature, and why you stuck (or stick) around. It helps you remember and recreate those hormone driven days when you were madly and hopelessly in love. You begin to see your partner as a person again...not just an extension of yourself.
All of this can be just as frightening as it is exhilirating...just like that first flush of love. Or it can tear you apart and make you wonder what the hell you have done. Hell it can even be both of these at the same time. It CAN either hurt or invigorate a relationship, depends on the participants.
10/23/2010
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Like previously said, it depends on the people in it. I thought it was fun the one time my ex was flirted at (his work's bicycle didn't care who, as long as it presented itself as male she was fine), but he HATED being flirted at and he HATED if I flirted with anyone (needless to say he didn't flirt). On the other hand, I was intensely jealous whenever someone flirted with Mulder (he was THAT good looking and I was THAT insecure), although he never returned the compliment to anyone else.

Only waiters flirt with me, and that's just to get bigger tips.
10/23/2010
Alicia Alicia
It really depends on the couple. For us it worked, renewed the relationship and helped us see what a catch we had with each other. But we flirted (and other stuff) together, and not apart. Anything that we did we did together, there was nothing behind the other's back. It made it really hot to see my husband flirting with someone, knowing that he was really only mine. It can easily go wrong though...this was about 4 years ago that we did this, after we had our third child, and we were feeling kind of, I guess weighed down with two kids in diapers..our oldest child being 5..we felt like parents and nothing more and this was our way to I guess get out of the rut we felt we were in.
10/23/2010
Sir Sir
It depends on the situation, as always. But overall, I do feel that it can hurt the relationship UNLESS there are terms otherwise and the partners both consent to this.
10/23/2010
Danielle915 Danielle915
We've flirted together. But never apart. We enjoy watching eachother lust over another person. We are very much in love and lusting is just for fun.
10/23/2010
Yoda Yoda
How would your partner feel? If the answer is negative, then it is pretty clear that it would hurt the relationship.
10/24/2010
ScottA ScottA
If there is any question about how your partner would react the best answer is "don't do it".
11/01/2010
Penguin Penguin
I don't think it does anything if it is JUST flirting.
11/01/2010
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
If there is any question about how your partner would react the best answer is "don't do it".
I said "Other" because, as stated many a time, it's definitely a by-the-couple situation.

That being said, in our relationship it would be more damaging than anything. We are very open and flirtatious with each other, but not with others.
11/01/2010
ToyGeek ToyGeek
All relationships are different. What could be amusing to one person could be hurtful to another.
11/01/2010
Spilock Spilock
I would personally be very damaged by it. However, other couples have their own thoughts and lifestyles, and I'm no judge of that.
11/01/2010
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Sammi
I think it depends on the kind of flirting you're doing. Innocent flirting, light flirting, flirting with your partner's consent that isn't going anywhere can be invigorating. But if there's a possibility that it's going to go ... More
This is exactly how I feel.
11/02/2010
mnc5051 mnc5051
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
This is exactly how I feel.
agreed
11/04/2010
joja joja
I love flirting and getting attention from other men, and I like seeing my boy do it as well. We're in an open relationship, though, so this is obviously not true for everyone.

I love being in love, but I find that having a regular partner and guaranteed sex takes away from the fun of the chase. I enjoy having crushes, even though most of them don't work out. I love to dance but my boy hates it, so being able to dance with other guys gives me another thrill that he can't.
11/05/2010
Jenn (aka kissmykitty) Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
Quote:
Originally posted by NuMe
I'm kind of on the fence about how I feel about this, so I would love to hear others opinions. Besides answering the poll, I would love to hear everyone's personal input as well.
I believe that harmless, brief flirtations on an *occasional* basis can sometimes add some spice to the relationship. A lot depends upon, of course, your individual relationship.
11/05/2010
Midway through Midway through
I'm naturally flirty in general, so I wouldn't count that. But I wouldn't go out of my way to flirt, and if they did, I'd get annoyed.
11/05/2010
Naughty Student Naughty Student
I agree with others that it depends on the couple and their relationship.

For us we sort of flirt, but not really. I won't be telling a guy things to turn him on and give him ideas if really I am "taken" and just want him to be attracted to me bcs I am flirting.

I do however know how to talk with people and discuss things. I am a very social person, I love listening to what others have to say and people love talking about themselves. When you listen carefully, ask questions and show how you are interested in what they are saying....thats what flirting is to me. Flirting is a subtle art and I don't need to be saying anything overt or batt my eyes and twirl my finger around my hair to flirt. I guess everyone has their own way.

My partner and I don't really flirt flirt but we get attention and we love sharing with each other the experiences we had. Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we get closer.

An example would be my partner going out and once he comes home he tells me about the girl or girls who were attracted to him and how they went about chatting with him. Sometimes its quite funny but often times we use these experiences to get closer.
11/05/2010
Bunnycups Bunnycups
Quote:
Originally posted by Sammi
I think it depends on the kind of flirting you're doing. Innocent flirting, light flirting, flirting with your partner's consent that isn't going anywhere can be invigorating. But if there's a possibility that it's going to go ... More
I agree with you. If it is going to open the door to cheating then of course it's damaging.
11/06/2010
Sera Sera
Quote:
Originally posted by NuMe
I'm kind of on the fence about how I feel about this, so I would love to hear others opinions. Besides answering the poll, I would love to hear everyone's personal input as well.
Maybe flirting will make your significant other realize what they have and make them not want to lose it, you know, if they haven't been paying attention to you for a while. Or if someone else is flirting with you, rather. Me, I wouldn't flirt with someone else. I don't want anyone else. It has also hurt my relationship before, so anything could happen. I guess really that it depends on the couple's personalities and how they get along.
11/06/2010
UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
I think flirting is pretty harmless for the most part. My hubby is a born flirt, so I kind of have to deal with it. I trust him, though. So, it's not something I worry about.
12/21/2010
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
I think it could be very damaging.
12/25/2010
clp clp
Definitely depends on the situation, but a bit of controlled jealousy can be fun. My sweetheart likes to hear about when guys flirt with me (and what I'd say to them)--it means I get it harder when we are alone. I know this is the result and tell him anyway.

"This will teach you to be so nice to strangers! Stop being so cute!"
12/26/2010
sweet seduction sweet seduction
I chose other, I flirt with other girls which really gets Hubby going.
01/04/2011
Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
I'm voting with the "It depends on the relationship" crew. Alan & I do it all the time, we even point out "hotties" to one another. But it's not something that would work for everyone.
01/04/2011
deletedacct deletedacct
Depends on the relationship and the type of flirting, as well as who you are flirting with.
01/04/2011
mama2007 mama2007
Quote:
Originally posted by NuMe
I'm kind of on the fence about how I feel about this, so I would love to hear others opinions. Besides answering the poll, I would love to hear everyone's personal input as well.
stupid for one to flirt. if u want to flirt, break up and go be with whoever u are flirting with
01/24/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by mama2007
stupid for one to flirt. if u want to flirt, break up and go be with whoever u are flirting with
based on what you revealed in another thread, I can totally understand your feelings on this, but I think that for some people, it can be a very invigorating scene.

For instance, we are not the type of couple to introduce a third party into our relationship. There are too many things that go into introducing someone for threesome that we don't want to have to deal with. Boundaries, jealousy, resentment, etc.

HOWEVER, we love a little playful flirting or playful banter with others around us. Even to the point, that My Mr would love to see me flirt with a woman or something along those lines.

Flirting can be very innocent or it can be very naughty. I guess it all depends on the couple and they type of flirting. Personally, I flirt with everyone I come in contact with. It's not simply a matter of whether I'm attracted or not, I just naturally laugh, smile, touch, tease. I do it with my guy friends and girl friends alike. My husband knows this about me and doesn't get jealous because he knows that he's the only person I want to have sex with. Period.
01/24/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I voted that it would damage the relationship - but that's personal. I could some who are into the jealousy thing getting turned on by the competition - it's just our style.
01/24/2011
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Total posts: 59
Unique posters: 57