I guess I feel a little sad...

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I guess I feel a little sad...

SecretToyLover2 SecretToyLover2
You all may remember me as SecretToyLover. I've done over a hundred reviews, and probably owned 200+ toys. Recently the hubby and I came to a decision that toys were ruining our sex. I was having trouble cumming without them (I have always had trouble) and we wanted to learn to try without them. I deleted my account to get rid of that "temptation" to try new ones.

Anyhow, we tried and tried and I just cannot climax without vibration. My clitoris has literally no sensitivity anymore, and my OB/GYN says that it is due to all the medication that I am on. This medication is a medication I am stuck with for life, so I guess this is a side effect that I will be stuck with for life as well.

My hubby and I are back to using a small vibrator during sex, but it makes me sad. I feel like it makes him feel like "less of a man" that he cannot make me climax without a vibrator. I even thought about faking it a few times. I never did, because I would feel awful doing that.

There were times when I got really close... I mean REALLY close. But he came first and then it was just downhill from there. Part of me wonders if we've lost our spark due to the toys, or if it's just all in my head. We're trying really hard :/

I think a lot of it is that he always cums first. He has decent timing. We can last for 15 minutes to 45 minutes... that's really good compared to most. Sometimes we last past an hour. But something in my mind just seems to be blocked. By the time it's unblocked, he's about to cum. This is all so frustrating.

Does anyone have any tips? Advice? Been through the same thing?

I feel shameful having to rely on a vibrator for climax. I enjoy sex as a romantic activity with my husband. It's not all about climaxing... but I would like to climax once in a while.
02/02/2012
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Tagmstr Tagmstr
Quote:
Originally posted by SecretToyLover2
You all may remember me as SecretToyLover. I've done over a hundred reviews, and probably owned 200+ toys. Recently the hubby and I came to a decision that toys were ruining our sex. I was having trouble cumming without them (I have always had ...
I wouldn't feel ashamed. My fiance has the same "problem" (if you want to call it that). It is near impossible if not impossible to get her to have an orgasm without clitoral stimulation. The best way for us to achieve this has been using toys and it doesn't make me feel like less of a man.

My best advice to you, which I'm sure you have already tried, is to try having your guy stimulate your clit with his hand the whole time you guys go at it. This is what I do with my fiance and it has gotten her to the point where she can orgasm through it. Not as much as with the toys, but we are working on it.
02/02/2012
SecretToyLover2 SecretToyLover2
Quote:
Originally posted by Tagmstr
I wouldn't feel ashamed. My fiance has the same "problem" (if you want to call it that). It is near impossible if not impossible to get her to have an orgasm without clitoral stimulation. The best way for us to achieve this has been ...
Thanks for the advice. We haven't really tried doing that during our foreplay and that's probably something we should try. I feel silly for not thinking of that. Thank you for the sympathy. Good luck with your girl. It's a hard thing to go through. A lot of emotional baggage comes with it.
02/03/2012
Rossie Rossie
Do you always include vibrating toys in your foreplay? You can ask your husband to stimulate you manually, and see how that goes. I do believe overusing vibration toys will affect our senses, try a few sessions with manual stimulation (plus oral) only, and see if that helps.

And please don't blame yourself for what's happening, you KNOW your medication is the main reason why you're losing your sensitivity.
02/03/2012
CrystaCat CrystaCat
Have you tried any clit gel? Maybe try the warming or the cooling which ever you prefer, put on some sexy lingerie for him, and use a small powerful vibe. Medication sucks I hope you fine something that works. My husband says I aint allowed big vibes or dildos because he will feel small, but I dont let it bother me. I hope you feel better soon~
02/16/2012
Total posts: 5
Unique posters: 4