If Your Spouse Was Cheating, Would You Leave?

xSexKittenx xSexKittenx
Some people say yes, some say no ... some may even say they would do marriage counseling. What would YOU do if your spouse was cheating? Would you leave?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
YES, I would leave him/her.
129
NO, I would not leave.
14
NO, I would not leave but I would expect marriage counseling.
42
Other
75
Total votes: 260 (246 voters)
Poll is closed
02/01/2011
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LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
It's likely that I would end the relationship, but depends on the circumstances. Given my openness to the idea of an open relationship, cheating would constitute a breach of trust that would signify serious problems with the relationship itself.
02/01/2011
xSexKittenx xSexKittenx
For me, I wouldn't leave if it was the first time. I would try to address what the issue was that caused him to cheat, and then proceed from there. I've had marriage counseling before and it really was helpful. Thank goodness it wasn't due to infidelity, though.

My issue would be how could I forgive him and forget it. Things like that dwell in my mind and I don't think I would be able to truly let it go.
02/01/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I have a hard time with this question because my wife and I share a trust makes the prospect so remote. My inclination would be to investigate the situation and if the situation was irreconcilable, yes I would leave.
02/01/2011
Purpleladybug Purpleladybug
I hate to say it but I think I would leave.
02/01/2011
Crash Crash
I would give her a second chance under the right circumstances, and I know I would seriously consider leaving her. The problem is that I am very jealous. I trust my girl and doubt that she ever would, which would just make it harder. I would hope for a second chance. I don't know if it would last after something like that but it's worth a shot.
02/01/2011
Crystal1 Crystal1
Probably, but it depends on so many things. How long have they been cheating, how long have we been together, are they genuinely remorseful, etc.
02/01/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
I have a hard time with this question because my wife and I share a trust makes the prospect so remote. My inclination would be to investigate the situation and if the situation was irreconcilable, yes I would leave.
I have to second this. I have a hard time fathoming the idea that my husband would break the trust that we share. I would certainly want to find out why he was cheating and see if we could fix whatever it was that led to the cheating. If we could not come to a mutual agreement and if he could not end the relationship on the side, then I would end the marriage.
02/01/2011
Hallmar82 Hallmar82
I said "Yes" only because I've already forgiven her once...
02/01/2011
xSexKittenx xSexKittenx
What if you have a child (or children) together? Would that have a huge influence in your decision?

I have a daughter and if my husband cheated on me, I would have to keep in mind that little girl and how this would effect her. It's hard to think about, but I really don't know what I would do. If I left, my daughter would suffer just like the rest of us. Then again, being in a unhealthy marriage where both parents are miserable is not good for her either.
02/01/2011
sweet seduction sweet seduction
It depends on the circumstances
02/01/2011
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Absolutely. I make it very clear at the beginning of a relationship that cheating is a breach of trust that is absolutely intolerable. I am a very open person and options of looking elsewhere can be discussed, I cannot say for sure what the result would be given that I have never been in a completely trusting relationship. However I believe that if I fully trusted my partner and it was discussed ahead of time, I might be open to it.
02/01/2011
Waterfall Waterfall
It would depend on the circumstances. I want to say that I would not leave and would try to work things out, but it would depend on how long it had been occurring and how involved he was with the other person.
02/01/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
I have to second this. I have a hard time fathoming the idea that my husband would break the trust that we share. I would certainly want to find out why he was cheating and see if we could fix whatever it was that led to the cheating. If we could ... More
Well said.
02/02/2011
Lady Venus Lady Venus
I voted other because I don't know. I really don't. Does that make sense?
02/02/2011
Alura Une Alura Une
I can't really imagine it really happening, though I've tried. The greatest blow might be that I would feel like I didn't know my partner. What would change my best friend, whom I've known since we really were just kids? I would not make a hasty decision to part ways forever. We might separate for a while. There would be a lot of talking.

But who knows what would happen.

I'd rather not think much on it right now.
02/02/2011
xSexKittenx xSexKittenx
Quote:
Originally posted by Lady Venus
I voted other because I don't know. I really don't. Does that make sense?
Makes complete sense. You never know what you would do in the situation, since there could be a ton of variations in the situation.
02/02/2011
Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
It's not likely to happen in our relationship anyway, but if it did I wouldn't leave *unless* he told me he was in love with her. I don't own him, and ultimately I want him to be happy. If it was just sex though then it would be time for us to discuss an open marriage or other changes.
02/02/2011
onehotmomma onehotmomma
He has cheated on me once before in the start of our relationship, and now that we have kids I've made it perfectly clear. You cheat, we are gone. I shouldn't have to deal with that, and I refuse to.
02/02/2011
Kayla Kayla
I don't think cheating is the be-all, end-all horrible thing for relationships. I would be hurt if the boyfriend cheated - but because he didn't trust me enough to communicate what the actual issue is. It depends on how long the extra relationship went on, what he feels for the other person, and if they'd leave the other person no questions asked, but it's pretty unlikely I'd leave just because someone cheated. After we strengthed our communication again, I think it'd be time to figure out what the underlying issue was and see if we needed a new type of relationship though.

I'd be more concerned about the possible STDs than any sort of emotional thing.
02/02/2011
*HisMrs* *HisMrs*
Most definitely! I made it very clear in the beginning of our relationship that cheating would be a breach of trust and it would be over. I don't think I could trust him after that. He also knows that I'm not into sharing & he isn't either so the whole open relationship thing doesn't enter the picture. That being said I don't think I have too much to worry about!
02/02/2011
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
We have discussed the possibility of opening up our relationship down the line, so if he were to sleep with someone behind my back instead of just talking to me about it first, I would probably give him the boot. There really would not be any reason to not tell me.
02/02/2011
Ladyt1003 Ladyt1003
I would say yes. I feel that IF they go behind your back then you can't trust them anymore.
02/02/2011
PussyGalore PussyGalore
Too many factors would need to be weighed before I could truly give my answer to this. I'd have to catch him first. Believe me, that's no easy task.
02/02/2011
CPTInsanity CPTInsanity
Quote:
Originally posted by Alan & Michele
It's not likely to happen in our relationship anyway, but if it did I wouldn't leave *unless* he told me he was in love with her. I don't own him, and ultimately I want him to be happy. If it was just sex though then it would be time for ... More
Thats the way that I feel about this too.
02/02/2011
IrishLassie IrishLassie
For me. yes I would. My husband and i have discussed our relationship very clearly before we sealed the deal. Neither one of us believe in divorce. However there are two factors for automatic divorce. 1) cheating, 2) abuse (physical or verbal) to me and our kids, if we have any. I know that people would say talk about it 1st or look into counseling. But I couldnt. So yes I would leave.
02/02/2011
Vaccinium Vaccinium
I wouldn't leave because of my kids. I desperately want them to have the stable parenting that I never had. I'd put up with anything short of abuse (on me or the kids) before I'd ever seek a divorce. Once the kids would be in college, though, all bets would be off.
02/02/2011
Miss T Miss T
I can't imagine it ever happening with my current husband, but if it ever did then yes I would likely leave. Because in my previous marriage he did cheat numerous times and he is the kids' father. I stayed and tried to work through things not only b/c I still loved him, but because I wanted to keep my family together. I grew up in a broken home and never wanted my kids to go through what I did growing up. But towards the end when the physical abuse started that was the straw that broke the camels back so to say. Not only towards me, but he was threatening his own children. Needless to say I made him pack and leave and filed for divorce the next day!
02/03/2011
Liz2 Liz2
I really can't give a yes or no answer. We are not married as yet so that fact would influence my decision.
02/03/2011
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
For me there is just no cut and dried answer to this question, never has been.
02/03/2011
Total posts: 146
Unique posters: 131