Introducing new sexual ideas into a relationship...when and how?

Alicia-Noelle Alicia-Noelle
I have a friend who is head over heals in love with his very beautiful girlfriend. They've been dating several months and their sex life is normal. He expressed to me that he wants her to 'behave sexier' in the bedroom. He also wants to try new positions and toys; basically he is really up for anything new. How should he go about approaching this topic with his girlfriend without offending her or making her uncomfortable, and more importantly with the result ending in his favor!?

Thanks!
10/01/2010
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wondertoes wondertoes
I would say just be honest and tell her he is up for new things. Who knows, she might be feeling the same way! Or he could always bring a toy into the bedroom as a surprise. If she doesn't like it, he'll know how she feels right away!
10/12/2010
tigrluvr9999 tigrluvr9999
He could start by gifting her a toy and waiting for her reaction to it. If she loves it he can offer to show her how it works. If she is offended he can play it off as a gag gift.
10/14/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia-Noelle
I have a friend who is head over heals in love with his very beautiful girlfriend. They've been dating several months and their sex life is normal. He expressed to me that he wants her to 'behave sexier' in the bedroom. He also wants ... More
I would have him slowly incorporate things himself. Surprise her with edible body paint etc. Her own creativity should follow.
10/14/2010
Alicia-Noelle Alicia-Noelle
Thanks for the advice! I really love the edible body paint idea or even maybe a massage candle or the booty parlor chocolate body fondue? They are very sensual and not intimidating! He also liked the idea of presenting a toy as a gift and potentially playing it off as a gag if she hates the idea! Thanks everyone! xoxo
11/03/2010
Unconventional Unconventional
I was nervous about what hubby's reaction was going to be when I had the desire to start pegging him. I started small, asking him if he'd ever experimented with prostate stimulation. Apparently he and his last girl had purchased a butt plug, but she had kinda freaked out at the idea of him using it. So he was really shy about voicing any desires after that.

I think basically if he gets her opinion on it, and maybe words it in a way that favors HER sexual benefit (rather than saying, "I want this" it's more of a, "Would you like this?"), he might have a better outcome. I liked the idea of pegging because the whole prostate thing intrigued me, but some guys are just thrown off by it.
11/06/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia-Noelle
I have a friend who is head over heals in love with his very beautiful girlfriend. They've been dating several months and their sex life is normal. He expressed to me that he wants her to 'behave sexier' in the bedroom. He also wants ... More
Slowly and carefully if his woman is sensitive and shy. He could start talking in a non-threatening place (like when watching tv or just looking around the net) about what he might want to try. He could show her some of the posts and things here on EF and first tell her his opinion and then as for hers. Don;t be udgemental about her opinions though, and understand that they may change as she thinks about the topic. The one place NOT to spring kinky things is in the bedroom where there is already some pressure to "perform" and a huge amount of vulnerability. If he is looking for a more sensual something different he could try some nice massage oils, soft ticklers, book or dvds about erotic massage ect. In fact that's where I started with Sigel, and it's a great way to bond (running yout palms over your partner's skin releases oxytocin into the bloodstream increasing the feelings of closeness and contentment) and it just plain feels fucking good! A relaxed blissful partner is going to be more willing to push a few boundaries.
Introduce new toys slowly and with some benefit to her until the "OMG he is using toys so I am not enough for him" is gone...that takes time and usually couples toys are easier to accept for more shy individuals. Ask her permission to buy somethig for her and then ask permission to try it out with her. All of these things will increase the bond between them and not be threatening.
Hope that helps!
11/07/2010
Naughty Student Naughty Student
I also like the idea of the massage oil/body paint/body fondue.

I'm a little confused about the "behave sexier" bit, what does that mean? Like wear sexy lingerie or be more verbal and active?
11/07/2010
Hallmar82 Hallmar82
Naughty Student is right to be curious. I suspect that your friend will not be content with simply having toys in the bedroom. Mostly likely, he wants his girlfriend to be the one who wants to use them too. If that's the case, then your friend will have to make a significant investment into finding out what pushes his girlfriend's buttons. Some buttons are easier to find than others, and part of the fun is finding them in the first place.
11/07/2010
Love Bites Love Bites
I was really shy and uncertain about talking to my man about trying new things.What worked for me is I would text him or call him,and ask him about how he felt or what he thought about the things I would want to try.Id then wait for a week or so,and ask him if he was curious about trying it too.I found out that he was willing to try anything at least once.after I knew that,I was able to just ask him right out,and now we try something new every couple months,its fun and not too fast for our relationship.the onle reason we did it over the phone was because we had a long distance relationship.now,we live together and we look at things we want to try together.
07/09/2011
lanky lanky
be honest, if its not meant to be, its not meant to be
07/09/2011
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Unique posters: 10