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I think my husband is old fashioned in the bedroom because he won't allow me to use a vibrator to climax. He doesn't think he is good enough, but I can't get him to let me have both him and a toy. Ideas?
First off, I doubt I'd let a male tell me I'm not "allowed" to do anything. However, if my partner happened to feel not good enough, I would work very hard to assure him that he is and if toys upset him and truly hurt him, considering he wasn't controlling, just simply upset about that particular thing, I would work it out. I do love fun toys! He uses them on me as foreplay and sometimes I'll grab a vibe and use it to get him fired up
We do it in fun and I am not interested in realistic dildos. The only dildos I have are glass. I also don't use huge ones. I have this problem that recently began with these nasty vaginal tears during sex. I haven't ever been able to use a really large toy and now even sex causes me to tear. I don't use the toys in place of him so he doesn't ever worry. Now if I started bringin' in these big, realistic dildos, I think he might have a few questions. It's natural for partners to worry about being plenty enough for their loved one. I worry about being beautiful, but he's happy to tell me all those sweet compliments. We are pretty old fashioned I guess. We keep our sex very intimate and special. No porn, anything sexual is between ONLY us. We are extremely monogamous and extremely close. I love that, but you can still be "old fashioned" and have super intimate, special, bonding sex while still including toys. We do it
I don't think an orgasm should be only "allowed" to happen by my partner. What I mean by that is, if a fun toy happens to bring you there, I don't personally think that's wrong. My partner (male) does not like male toys and has no interest in them. Mostly because they're made to simply get men to orgasm and we have sex for that. He doesn't have multiple O's like me so the men toys would just be a waste for him. The vibrators and glass toys are fun because we use them a couple minutes sometimes for foreplay and that simply just gets me in the mood, what foreplay is meant for. Sure, I have tons of orgasms during both the foreplay and the intercourse. His goal is to give me as many as possible, even when I'm exhausted! Lol. That's awesome of him and I love that he enjoys spending time to use vibes one me. However, I would not try to replace him with a dildo. Also, I don't use them to make sex better. Women aren't automatically ready for sex. It takes some time, rubbin' and foreplay to get you "naturally lubricanted" and ready. That is natural. Your husband wants totally natural? That is simply how most women's bodies work. Does he understand that you don't want the toys because he's not enough, but simply for extra foreplay and fun?
That would be a very hard situation. I wish you the best. My advice is to explain how a woman needs time and foreplay to "get there" and then she's ready for sex. I'd tell him that in order to make that part of sex fun for both of you, toys could really be a nice way to go.