Is your spouse jealous of toys?

beautifulbombshellVI beautifulbombshellVI
I think my husband is old fashioned in the bedroom because he won't allow me to use a vibrator to climax. He doesn't think he is good enough, but I can't get him to let me have both him and a toy. Ideas?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
endorses any
Peggi , butts , SiNn , - Kira - , KrissyNovacaine , Checkmate , ToyTimeTim , Talena , Arch600 , Beck , ghent529 , wdanas , indiglo , Geogeo , ejrbrndps , Lioncub , Kitka , Sinfully , Deeder , Mwar , SMichelle , darthkitt3n , Zombirella , kendra30752 , Vaginas , Evie Erotica , Stagger13 , tortilla , sexykiss , Sammi , gloomybear , Bignuf , Buttercup Green , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , Stinkytofu10 , Mrs. Tickle and Giggle , Pi , SneakersAndPearls , collifornia , PropertyOfPotter , <3BF , BG529 , Rory , The Kitty , wet mama , mbrdr2012 , Ryanne , sugar&spikes , *Camoprincess* , sweetiejo , SaiDiscordia , HoneyKitty , edenguy , SecretKinksters , bunny love , sXeVegan90 , SavingMyself , Skindiver , P'Gell , BrittaniMaree , AK Bunny , XYCopperheadSly
62
just okay with any
Dixiemomma , Ms. N , Rossie , deltalima , treefrog88 , CutiePatootie
6
hates&wishes you didn't have any
indiechick
1
endorses vibrators
Peggi , butts , SiNn , ToyTimeTim , Beck , ghent529 , indiechick , indiglo , humpday , Kitka , Sammi , Buttercup Green , P'Gell
13
just okay with vibrators
hates&wishes you didn't have vibrators
endorses dildo/butt plugs
Peggi , butts , SiNn , ToyTimeTim , Beck , ghent529 , indiglo , Kitka , Sammi , Buttercup Green , P'Gell
11
just okay with dildo/butt plugs
hates & wishes you didn't have dildo/butt plugs
sexykiss
1
Total votes: 94 (70 voters)
Poll is closed
06/16/2012
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Peggi Peggi
I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe over time and communication he will open up to the idea! Mine was the one who actually introduced me to Eden, and is fine with me using any type of toys I want and encourages it. He also uses toys as well now!
06/16/2012
butts butts
wowwww that's pretty rude actually, I'd be super mad. Females have a harder time orgasming than males for the most part, he needs to understand that it makes things BETTER for you, and it's not that he's lacking in any way. Just make sure he knows it's not an issue on his part, it sounds like a self esteem/masculinity issue more than anything.
06/16/2012
SiNn SiNn
Quote:
Originally posted by beautifulbombshellVI
I think my husband is old fashioned in the bedroom because he won't allow me to use a vibrator to climax. He doesn't think he is good enough, but I can't get him to let me have both him and a toy. Ideas?
my better half doenst mind if we r usne them together or he gets to watch
06/16/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
My husband will have a rare moment if he's had a bad day where he gets upset about my toys and tells me I prefer silicone to him. I just reassure him that's not the case. That's pretty rare though. For the most part, he loves the toys we have. He enjoys using them on me and has cock rings and plugs for himself that he likes. We use the toys together and I think that helps. If I was just using them alone and not with him I think he wouldn't be as happy about it.
06/16/2012
Talena Talena
My partner will let me get any toy I wish but has recently made comments about I had toys and he didn't. I said we have toys...his argument is that they get used on me. He isn't into special undies, cock rings/cages, he is not submissive (that leaves all those out), He isn't into pegging or his own ass being played with.. So I bought him a pocket pussy and told him to hush lol.

If you require extra assistance getting the O(s) you are striving for...remind him his cock doesn't vibrate and you can't control his speed, size, girth, bend-ability (thinking g-spot finer here. Tell him just to sit back and enjoy the show. When it comes to using the toy while he is inside you. Tell him that he may like the vibrations he can feel, as well.
06/16/2012
Arch600 Arch600
I'm the husband; anything that gives her pleasure is fine by me. I know she isn't going to pack her bags and move in with Mr. Silicone anytime soon. Seriously, it is her body, her pleasure. Hers to enjoy anytime she wishes, in any way she wishes. It is an honor and a privilege every time she chooses to share with me.
06/16/2012
indiechick indiechick
Quote:
Originally posted by beautifulbombshellVI
I think my husband is old fashioned in the bedroom because he won't allow me to use a vibrator to climax. He doesn't think he is good enough, but I can't get him to let me have both him and a toy. Ideas?
no spouse but partners Ive had two experiences. 1 hated if I used any, if only he realized why I went to the bathroom after he was done...it was to finish myself.

And the other totally up for incorporating toys into the bed room...to be honest even more than I was up for it at the time, but vibrations were a part of both of us getting off.
06/16/2012
indiglo indiglo
Anyone who is jealous or feels threatened by an inanimate object, or by their partner getting pleasure has some serious issues in my opinion. That is a very unhealthy state of mind!
06/16/2012
Geogeo Geogeo
I feel bad for you! I think it might be an ego thing, if he can't get you off, you shouldn't need help from outside toys.

My friend's boyfriend used to consider it cheating if she used toys when he wasn't around. So ridiculous.
06/16/2012
Dixiemomma Dixiemomma
my Mister gets very excited over some of the things i order from here likes bdsm gear but when it comes to the dildos and vibes he just kinda pretends he doesnt see um even when i'm all excited and trying to show him lol its kinda cute... like he's ok with me having them he just wont acknowledge they exist
06/16/2012
Ms. N Ms. N
I wouldn't say he *hates* them, but he doesn't *get* it. He is okay with paddles and handcuffs though
06/16/2012
Annemarie Annemarie
Fun story.

My significant other and I are long distance, and I often send him naughty pics. He is black.

A few weeks ago, I sent him a pic with me using my O2 Adam, which is in the original chocolate color (which looks like the skin of a black person) and is very near his skin color. I attached the message "Wish this was you." He said he about got in a rage because he thought that I was having sex with another man at first. The photo was kind of a close-up and it wasn't readily apparent that it was a dildo. Once he took a second glance at it, he knew what it was.

Anyway, this kind of opened up a new thing. He says he doesn't want me to use that one anymore (or any others) because I "enjoy it/them too much" or something like that. I told him I was never giving up my toys. He's known that I use toys since before we were even together, so it's not been a secret. He also knows I expect him to use toys on me during foreplay and that I'll probably use a vibrator on my clit during intercourse.

He tends to vary his opinion on them on a day-to-day basis. This isn't abnormal, though, he's like this with just about everything.

In the end, we haven't really talked about it any further. I'm just going to avoid using realistic toys around him (though still use them when I'm having alone time), which I think is a fair compromise. He says he's never been an uber jealous person, but for some reason, he gets jealous with me.

I dunno. Men. Difficult. Complicated. Wtf.
06/16/2012
Lioncub Lioncub
My husband actually bought the first few toys and had to convince me it was okay to use them. Now we have quite a collection, we don't use them everytime but when we do get them out it is something we both enjoy.
06/16/2012
Rossie Rossie
My husband doesn't mind my toys and will use them on me, and he loves it when I wear my Njoy plug during sex.
06/16/2012
PassionCpl PassionCpl
Can I just say, to make this a little less one-sided, I know for a fact that some men are absolutely fine with it and it's the women who go bananas at the thought of him using (read 'needing' lol) toys, especially without her.

It's not always the men...
06/16/2012
Kitka Kitka
My husband doesn't mind sex toys at all. We both use them and enjoy them.
06/16/2012
deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by beautifulbombshellVI
I think my husband is old fashioned in the bedroom because he won't allow me to use a vibrator to climax. He doesn't think he is good enough, but I can't get him to let me have both him and a toy. Ideas?
Oh that sucks. Maybe let it rest for a while and bring it up again if it's important to you, he should be open to it.
06/16/2012
Sinfully Sinfully
Every guy I've been with has been alright with me using toys.
06/16/2012
Deeder Deeder
My husband is pretty supportive of me using toys, mainly because I have an extremely hard time reaching climax. When I first started using them we both went into it with the mentality of "if it helps, it helps". I'd love to be able to not need them, and I get the feeling that sometimes it does sort of hurt his pride that he just can't "do it" for me, but we both know that it's nothing personal and I just need a LOT of extra help.
06/16/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
No, he doesn't care at all. I've gotten him some as well.
06/17/2012
kendra30752 kendra30752
Quote:
Originally posted by beautifulbombshellVI
I think my husband is old fashioned in the bedroom because he won't allow me to use a vibrator to climax. He doesn't think he is good enough, but I can't get him to let me have both him and a toy. Ideas?
First off, I doubt I'd let a male tell me I'm not "allowed" to do anything. However, if my partner happened to feel not good enough, I would work very hard to assure him that he is and if toys upset him and truly hurt him, considering he wasn't controlling, just simply upset about that particular thing, I would work it out. I do love fun toys! He uses them on me as foreplay and sometimes I'll grab a vibe and use it to get him fired up We do it in fun and I am not interested in realistic dildos. The only dildos I have are glass. I also don't use huge ones. I have this problem that recently began with these nasty vaginal tears during sex. I haven't ever been able to use a really large toy and now even sex causes me to tear. I don't use the toys in place of him so he doesn't ever worry. Now if I started bringin' in these big, realistic dildos, I think he might have a few questions. It's natural for partners to worry about being plenty enough for their loved one. I worry about being beautiful, but he's happy to tell me all those sweet compliments. We are pretty old fashioned I guess. We keep our sex very intimate and special. No porn, anything sexual is between ONLY us. We are extremely monogamous and extremely close. I love that, but you can still be "old fashioned" and have super intimate, special, bonding sex while still including toys. We do it

I don't think an orgasm should be only "allowed" to happen by my partner. What I mean by that is, if a fun toy happens to bring you there, I don't personally think that's wrong. My partner (male) does not like male toys and has no interest in them. Mostly because they're made to simply get men to orgasm and we have sex for that. He doesn't have multiple O's like me so the men toys would just be a waste for him. The vibrators and glass toys are fun because we use them a couple minutes sometimes for foreplay and that simply just gets me in the mood, what foreplay is meant for. Sure, I have tons of orgasms during both the foreplay and the intercourse. His goal is to give me as many as possible, even when I'm exhausted! Lol. That's awesome of him and I love that he enjoys spending time to use vibes one me. However, I would not try to replace him with a dildo. Also, I don't use them to make sex better. Women aren't automatically ready for sex. It takes some time, rubbin' and foreplay to get you "naturally lubricanted" and ready. That is natural. Your husband wants totally natural? That is simply how most women's bodies work. Does he understand that you don't want the toys because he's not enough, but simply for extra foreplay and fun?

That would be a very hard situation. I wish you the best. My advice is to explain how a woman needs time and foreplay to "get there" and then she's ready for sex. I'd tell him that in order to make that part of sex fun for both of you, toys could really be a nice way to go.
06/17/2012
sexykiss sexykiss
she lets me get anything i want she loves the toys
06/17/2012
gloomybear gloomybear
my boyfriend honestly doesnt care he actually convinced me to spend my saved up points on a fleshlight for him which i thought was fair
06/17/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by beautifulbombshellVI
I think my husband is old fashioned in the bedroom because he won't allow me to use a vibrator to climax. He doesn't think he is good enough, but I can't get him to let me have both him and a toy. Ideas?
He helps me CHOOSE and BUY toys...we shop here, TOGETHER. If I can climax from a toy TEN TIMES, that is GREAT, in his book..as then he cam make me CUM a few more times!!!!!!!!! Advice? Shop here TOGETHER. Sit in his lap and make it SEXY HAPPY TIME shopping. Let HIM pick out a toy for you to use IN FRONT OF HIM, also, at the same time, let HIM choose a toy for HIM to use on himself, while YOU watch (or you pick one for him...tell him how turned on it would make you). TURN THIS INTO FUN.
06/17/2012
PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
Mine is not and I am happy he is not.
06/17/2012
Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by beautifulbombshellVI
I think my husband is old fashioned in the bedroom because he won't allow me to use a vibrator to climax. He doesn't think he is good enough, but I can't get him to let me have both him and a toy. Ideas?
My Spouse is happy with me using toys.
06/17/2012
Mrs. Tickle and Giggle Mrs. Tickle and Giggle
Quote:
Originally posted by beautifulbombshellVI
I think my husband is old fashioned in the bedroom because he won't allow me to use a vibrator to climax. He doesn't think he is good enough, but I can't get him to let me have both him and a toy. Ideas?
My husband is extremely ready and willing to try almost all the toys we can get our hands on. He is loving the added excitement they have brung to our sex life.
06/23/2012
SneakersAndPearls SneakersAndPearls
If he is that against them, I'd skip dildos and whatnot for now. Instead, try opening up the conversation with something small and discreet, so he doesn't feel like he's "competing." A small bullet is a good place to start, or if you want to jump right in with a luxury item, try the We-Vibe Touch, Tango, Salsa, or even the MiMi.
08/08/2012
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
We're both good with anything being used.

I would suggest trying something together. Maybe if you're able to both experience the pleasure he'll be more open to it. Have you tried a cock ring before? You'd both be being pleasured, and you wouldn't be enjoying yourself if it weren't for him. Maybe easing him into it would make things better in his mind. I do understand the mind set of not being good enough and worrying that you'll start preferring something to him, that makes sense to me. Try to be understanding and find little ways to make sure he knows that he's #1, no matter what!
08/08/2012
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Unique posters: 47