How long to wait before kids, to still keep a sex life great?

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How long to wait before kids, to still keep a sex life great?

Bignuf Bignuf
I have read that some "experts" advise "waiting to have children" to "let you get to know your mate better". Others say "have kids early, when you have energy, to better CO parent them and still have energy for a romantic life, and still be young enough when they are grown to "second honeymoon..and fall in love all over again". SO??? How long after getting married is a good length of time before thinking "babies"?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
No waiting needed
Misfit Momma , Pixie5 , Diabolical Kitty , Beck , potstickers
5
A few months to a year
One to two years
Two to three years
slynch , zracer , Akira , newfoundlust , froggiemoma , EnMH , anonymouse58 , Rossie , Diabolical Kitty , link82 , kelaaa33wish , Endocott , Lucky21
13
Three to four years
slynch
1
More then four years? If so, HOW MANY??
thebest
1
Total votes: 20 (18 voters)
Poll is closed
07/07/2011
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ss143 ss143
I truly think it depends on the couple. A lot get married often already having kids, some are good with getting married and instantly starting a family others prefer to wait. I think there is no clear cut answer
07/07/2011
Misfit Momma Misfit Momma
Quote:
Originally posted by ss143
I truly think it depends on the couple. A lot get married often already having kids, some are good with getting married and instantly starting a family others prefer to wait. I think there is no clear cut answer
Agreed.

Many people who think they should wait are also the ones who end up not having children at all and regretting it later in life. When you wait for "the right time" it usually doesn't come.

If you are married, and truly want children then I see no reason to wait at all. Throw away the birth control and let it happen when it happens.
07/07/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
I have read that some "experts" advise "waiting to have children" to "let you get to know your mate better". Others say "have kids early, when you have energy, to better CO parent them and still have energy for a ...
It depends on the couple. Couples too set in their free-wheeling ways often do quite badly adjusting to kids, after years of freedom. Others don't do well when having kids right away. I don't think there is any "right time" to have children.

My Man and I were married for five months when we became parents.... but we were together for years, before that, seeing as I was a teen ager when we started dating. We're still together years later, having our first two kids within 2 years, and an other many years later. We've been "young" parents and "older" parents, and there are differences, but they aren't huge. We never had a lot of freedom, as we had kids soon after I graduated college and we moved in together.

It IS something to talk about. My Man and I knew we always wanted kids and wanted them soon after getting married. I think he biological clock was ticking.
07/08/2011
Pixie5 Pixie5
Quote:
Originally posted by Misfit Momma
Agreed.

Many people who think they should wait are also the ones who end up not having children at all and regretting it later in life. When you wait for "the right time" it usually doesn't come.

If you are married, and ...
I think that you and your partner will know when it is best for you. While I agree there never seems to be a "Good Time". You will make it work or you wont, while children add stress, I dont think they are ever the cause of a troubled marriage.
07/08/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
I did want to say; You can have a sex life when you have children. (We always did.) You just have to be imaginative and realize that God created Sesame Street and Dora on DVD (or VHS) for a reason.
07/08/2011
Pixie5 Pixie5
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I did want to say; You can have a sex life when you have children. (We always did.) You just have to be imaginative and realize that God created Sesame Street and Dora on DVD (or VHS) for a reason.
LMAO P'Gell so very true.
07/08/2011
EnMH EnMH
There is no technical "right time. " Unless you're ridiculously rich and have been planning for it your entire life, it's not possible. We were married six months before our daughter arrived. It wasn't perfect then and it's not perfect now. But we wouldn't change a single thing.

We love being parents and our sex life has only gotten better. You have to be more creative with timing and such. It keeps it very interesting.
07/08/2011
Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
There is no real wait time. I think it also depends on how long you two were together before you were married, if you've lived together before you got married, and other factors. I think 2-3 years is usually the best honestly.
07/08/2011
salaciousrex salaciousrex
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I did want to say; You can have a sex life when you have children. (We always did.) You just have to be imaginative and realize that God created Sesame Street and Dora on DVD (or VHS) for a reason.
Haha VERY true!! I completely agree, it's definitely possible to still have a great sex life after babies. You both just have to put in the effort and work past the "but I'm so tired" factor.

And it depends on the couple. A lot of couples want babies early in their relationship/marriage, but some just aren't ready for it to not just be the two of them anymore.
07/08/2011
Kitt Katt Kitt Katt
Wow, there are so many variables to consider before answering this question. How old were you when you got married? Do you both have careers? How active/fit are you (energy-wise to keep up with little ones)? And on and on and on. I don't think anyone can predict the "right time" to have kids.

My husband and I were best friends and high school sweethearts, got married very young, but didn't have our first child until we had been married for five years. Plenty of time to "get to know each other" before having kids and we were still young when we had them. Our oldest is grown up and moved out and our youngest still has at least six years to go before moving out, but we are definitely in a "second honeymoon" phase right now. Our parenting styles have changed over the years and from one kid to the next and our love life has changed as well. Lucky us!
07/08/2011
MaryExy MaryExy
If someone asks you, "So, do you want to have kids? Think you're gonna start working on them?" and your first thought is, "Oh my god, what about my sex life?" I'd wait to see if that feeling goes away. It's definitely something to consider, though.

Two suggestions:
-make connections to trade hosting playdates for kids, so you get time where the kids are completely out of the house and there are no noise restrictions
-find a babysitter that's willing to take the kids out to movies, the zoo, etc.
07/08/2011
Beck Beck
We had a kid before we was married. does not change your sex life except you are waiting for them to go to bed or nap before doing anything. there is no noise restriction here either of course my children are not old enough to know whats going on but as the get older we will just simply turn on the radio so no one has to hear moans and buzzing. no one when they no what sex is wants to hear their parents do it. and for your porn videos the sound does not have to be on.
07/08/2011
Endocott Endocott
You can have kids and still have a great sex life.
07/08/2011
thebest thebest
lol no kids for me
07/09/2011
One true love One true love
We have 4 kids and still have a great sex life, when they go to bed we have sex!!!!
08/02/2011
Total posts: 16
Unique posters: 14