My man says that after so long a relationship is bound to go sour NO MATTER WHAT!!!

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My man says that after so long a relationship is bound to go sour NO MATTER WHAT!!!

SiNSaNiTy SiNSaNiTy
I personallly think that there are just so many things that can be introduced into a relationship to stop it from becoming boring....toys, role-playing, etc...I'm beginning to wonder if this isn't his way of just politely saying he wants out. Because so far the two of us are always satisfies after sex, I mean, at least I've never noticed or had even the SLIGHTEST feeling that he wasnt?? Now I'm just not sure what to do??
02/06/2011
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PussyGalore PussyGalore
I'm sorry. It's never an easy subject but there's only one way to know and that's ask him. There could be lingering resentments or other emotional brick walls that prevent him from feeling satisfied. It's best to find out now instead of assuming everything is ok.

You would do well to also note the context of the conversation and use that to dig a little deeper into what he may or may not be thinking.
02/06/2011
Lucidity Lucidity
I totally agree with Audra. It also might be that he just fears or flat out doesn't want a long term relationship. If that's the case; yeah, for him, all relationships past a certain point are doomed. I would get this stuff out on the table now. Also, there's a lot more to a long term relationship and what causes it to or not to go sour than sex.
02/06/2011
markeagleone markeagleone
Quote:
Originally posted by SiNSaNiTy
I personallly think that there are just so many things that can be introduced into a relationship to stop it from becoming boring....toys, role-playing, etc...I'm beginning to wonder if this isn't his way of just politely saying he wants out. ...
A relationship should never be boring. Love is all that's needed. I would sit and have a heart to heart with him.
02/06/2011
Jobthingy Jobthingy
There is also a lot more to a relationship than the sex.That is just one part of a huge equation. And no relationship is easy. They always take work. If you dont work at it yes it will go sour.
02/06/2011
Yoda Yoda
He is wrong. All you need is love, a simple sense of fun, and the will to make some sacrifices for others.

Basically, you have to be a good person.
02/07/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by Jobthingy
There is also a lot more to a relationship than the sex.That is just one part of a huge equation. And no relationship is easy. They always take work. If you dont work at it yes it will go sour.
Agreed! There is more to a relationship than sex and relationships take work on both peoples part! If only one person is doing the work the relationship is bound to fail.

I hear people say all the time, "Love is all you need." I think that is completely false unless your definition of love is having a deep sense of compassion, having undivided attention, as well as open communication with your partner and fully and completely trusting one other.

I know people who have been terribly miserable in their marriages and still say they love each other. Love means different things to different people and that "love" didn't stop them from divorcing.
02/07/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Love is not enough.

Relationships are about first, and foremost, communication. Then compromise, respect, sex, common interests, laughing, etc. It's supposed to be a friendship more than romance. When the day-to-day gets tedious and you don't feel romantic, there has to be more.

I've never met one person, not ONE. SINGLE. PERSON. who has been married for more than 3 years who said it's always romantic and sexy and they're "so in love."

There are days I almost HATE my husband. He makes me mad. He does things to offend me. He makes me cry. There are days he really doesn't like me either. There are days where I piss him off and say something wrong, or do something that affects our family that we didn't discuss before hand and it upsets him.

He also makes me laugh until tears run out of my eyes. He listens to me. He holds me when I cry. We love to watch movies together and both appreciate bookstores as if they're sex stores! We share similar views and can talk about them for days on end. He brings me flowers "just because." He considers me a superhero when everyone is sick and have been up all night caring for our little family. I respect that he works so hard for our family. I'm proud of his integrity and work ethic.

AND... on top of all of that, we share an insanely satisfying sex life. But that insane satisfaction can ONLY happen when we're communicating and are respectful and loving towards each other. It's like the sprinkles and whipped cream on the sundae that is our relationship. (I don't like maraschino cherries)
02/07/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Also, we have had dry spells in our sexual relationship in the past. I'm sure there are some to come too. Sometimes life is too much and sex is not a priority.
02/07/2011
Envy Envy
I can't add much to this discussion but I agree with what's been said. You guys could always go see a couples counselor too, no? Perhaps a bit of therapy and open discussion would help on strengthening the relationship.
02/07/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Envy
I can't add much to this discussion but I agree with what's been said. You guys could always go see a couples counselor too, no? Perhaps a bit of therapy and open discussion would help on strengthening the relationship.
Oh yes, I highly recommend marriage counseling! Even if there are no major issues. I think a healthy dose of "learning to live together once the 'honeymoon phase' fades" is good for ALL couples!
02/07/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Envy
I can't add much to this discussion but I agree with what's been said. You guys could always go see a couples counselor too, no? Perhaps a bit of therapy and open discussion would help on strengthening the relationship.
Oh yes, I highly recommend marriage counseling! Even if there are no major issues. I think a healthy dose of "learning to live together once the 'honeymoon phase' fades" is good for ALL couples!
02/07/2011
hive83 hive83
Quote:
Originally posted by SiNSaNiTy
I personallly think that there are just so many things that can be introduced into a relationship to stop it from becoming boring....toys, role-playing, etc...I'm beginning to wonder if this isn't his way of just politely saying he wants out. ...
That is just so not true. We have been together over 40 years and love each other more each year .
02/07/2011
ScottA ScottA
There are many statistics and stories that will refute his claim. It takes effort and there will be times where it is harder and things are dry, but if you work on it your relationship just keeps getting deeper.
02/07/2011
Total posts: 14
Unique posters: 11