Does sex really get that much better with time for people who plan to stay together long term?

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Does sex really get that much better with time for people who plan to stay together long term?

Kenneth Fort Kenneth Fort
Presumably marriage themed? I hear they say that the things you learn are much better then when it was new with most people.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Better with time
js250 , BrittaniMaree , Gunsmoke , G&L , RedKyuubi , padmeamidala , Andrey2052 , Mr. E , sw33t1zm3 , Dixiemomma , Trysexual , Rossie , Sammi , Stinkytofu10 , lovesexandmarriage , PepperPot , meitman , Missmarc , Gracie , edenguy , indiglo , jr2012 , ToyTimeTim , SavingMyself , married with children , AmethystSmoke , mpfm , magicmaxx Mr.Mrs , MissCandyland , Checkmate , oldnbold43 , SecretKinksters , no longer here , LoooveMonkey , bayosgirl , Prissy , mtnluvr , lainebug
38  (73%)
Worse with time
deltalima , Geogeo , PassionQT
3  (6%)
The same / both kind of
PropertyOfPotter , hotcherry , P'Gell , unfulfilled , sexfairy , brevado , edeneve , amplified to rock , *Camoprincess* , Rory , CutiePatootie
11  (21%)
Total votes: 52
Poll is closed
09/21/2012
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deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by Kenneth Fort
Presumably marriage themed? I hear they say that the things you learn are much better then when it was new with most people.
I think if you make an effort to keep in interesting no but for most it could.
09/21/2012
js250 js250
My experience has been a bit up and down. I think with most relationships, there is a down trend in sexual satisfaction after the new 'honeymoon' time has worn off, but it starts to pick up a bit a little at a time. Most couples get busy with work, kids, etc. and the relationship can take a back seat. Ours did, to a point, but when our kids became teens--it started to pick up a bit more. We had more time together since the kids were more social and were gone with friends more often. Once the kids moved out--we really got busy!!! Our relationship was back to the two of us again--and we had the time and energy to refocus on our sex life. I did notice that my confidence and lack of self-consciousness diminishes with the longer time we are together. I am not as worried about what he thinks as I am about having fun and making us both happy and having fun with our sex life.
09/21/2012
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
I think it's a little bit of both. The new feeling is gone and sometimes not as much effort it put into it. However, you're with the one person that's truly connected to your heart. They know what you like and don't like, so the guess work is gone. You're also totally comfortable with each other and are able to explore things you weren't comfortable with when your relationship was new. It's truly a mixed bag. I miss the times we would have to rush home just so we could get into each other's pants..I miss having sex the second we were alone...but I love the true love we share and that we know each other's wants and needs so well.
09/21/2012
hotcherry hotcherry
The same / both kind of. depends on the person.
09/21/2012
unfulfilled unfulfilled
I think it's both. I think it can get better and worse with time depending on the couple and how likely they are to keep things new and exciting.
09/21/2012
BrittaniMaree BrittaniMaree
I personally thing better with time after 10 years hubby and I laugh and talk to each other while having sex its fun and very comfortable for us just have to spice it up a little from time to time
09/21/2012
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
As people have said - it varies a lot. Ask me this question 10-15 years ago and I say no - it does not get better. But ask me now and I'd say it's better than ever and still improving.

We're talking about decades here, nothing I know of is great all the time. There will be ups and downs - that's why marriage is about commitment - not for the faint of fidelity.
09/21/2012
G&L G&L
You learn each other so I would say it gets better in time though we have only been married 3 1/2 years.
09/21/2012
RedKyuubi RedKyuubi
Absolutely better with time. You just get to know your partner and what he/she likes. You get to explore with them lots of fun stuff. Our sex life has definitely gotten better.
09/21/2012
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by BrittaniMaree
I personally thing better with time after 10 years hubby and I laugh and talk to each other while having sex its fun and very comfortable for us just have to spice it up a little from time to time
We have the same experience - when sex became recreation, the pressure was off and fun became the goal. The coup de grace - is that feelings of strong emotional attachment follow the fun - a great 2-fer!
09/21/2012
Andrey2052 Andrey2052
Better with time
09/21/2012
sexfairy sexfairy
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
I think it's a little bit of both. The new feeling is gone and sometimes not as much effort it put into it. However, you're with the one person that's truly connected to your heart. They know what you like and don't like, so the ...
I agree with this. It is better with time as we get to trust, love and know each other so well. But there are also dangers of falling into routine patterned sex. It's up to us to be vigilant and spice things up!
09/21/2012
sw33t1zm3 sw33t1zm3
Quote:
Originally posted by Kenneth Fort
Presumably marriage themed? I hear they say that the things you learn are much better then when it was new with most people.
a lot better with time beucase you can talk about what you want without feeling judged.
09/21/2012
Geogeo Geogeo
Quote:
Originally posted by Kenneth Fort
Presumably marriage themed? I hear they say that the things you learn are much better then when it was new with most people.
I get bored after a few months
09/21/2012
Trysexual Trysexual
It improves as you learn techniques and explore together..of course it depends on both partners, so in a "Good" relationship definitely.
09/21/2012
Beck Beck
As long as your relationship is healthy and happy, then yes it should get better. This is because you grow together and learn what each other likes. You improve your skills to your partner's liking hence making the experience better for them. It works the other way around too of course. (They learn what you like.) You should also become comfortable with each other and not worry about silly things that you did in the beginning.

However, this isn't always the case. If you aren't happy with your relationship and you or your partner(s) never try to improve anything. Things won't get better, but instead be worse because they are predictable.
09/21/2012
Rossie Rossie
It gets better with time, understanding, good communication and experience.
09/21/2012
Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by Kenneth Fort
Presumably marriage themed? I hear they say that the things you learn are much better then when it was new with most people.
Better with time
09/21/2012
lovesexandmarriage lovesexandmarriage
If it's not getting better with time, then something is wrong. It'd be a deal breaker for me. *shrugs*
09/21/2012
edeneve edeneve
it really depends on who I was w/ and if they were interested in true lovemaking - only been w/ 1 of those...
09/21/2012
PepperPot PepperPot
I think it gets better. The longer my husband and I have been together, the more often we have simultaneous orgasms (which I don't think are the end-all, be-all of sex or anything, but they sure are convenient... with my ex I would come, and then have to wait what seemed *forever* for him... I confess I got bored more than once :/).
09/21/2012
meitman meitman
It definitely got better in my marriage. It may be different for some marriages I guess. For us it's mostly due to us communicating a lot better and being much more open about what we both want.
09/21/2012
Missmarc Missmarc
Quote:
Originally posted by Kenneth Fort
Presumably marriage themed? I hear they say that the things you learn are much better then when it was new with most people.
Better with time
09/21/2012
edenguy edenguy
Quote:
Originally posted by Kenneth Fort
Presumably marriage themed? I hear they say that the things you learn are much better then when it was new with most people.
In my opinion it does. Sex improves with communication, and communication improves with time and effort
09/22/2012
Gracie Gracie
I know it varies widely among couples. But if you are willing to speak up and willing to invest youself it certialy can get better and better over time. And in my experience over the years as your love grows you bring more to the act of lovemaking. But I know not everyone has that experience.
09/22/2012
indiglo indiglo
Honestly, it will be what YOU make it. Every couple is going to be different, for some their sex life will get worse long-term and for some it will get better. But it's all up to YOU.

For us, it's only gotten better. Like others have mentioned, there is now a level of comfort that wasn't there before - we can laugh, talk, deal with something if it goes wrong, or whatever else during sex. Plus, since we now know each other's preferences we can push all the right buttons. Also, now we know each other's sounds better too, and other cues - so we can adjust timing & pace to match what the other person needs just from listening to them. Plus, like Gunsmoke said - that intense emotional attachment before, during & then after sex is just out of this world. Even though we loved each other before, with more time, the feeling just gets deeper.

Another thing that makes it better the longer we're together is that we both feel safer expressing ourselves and our fantasies. We're now comfortable enough to keep experimenting with new things to see if we like them or not. As we experiment, we find we love some new things, and really dislike other new things. The testing is half the fun! When something doesn't work out like we hoped, laughing about it and moving on is a real bonding experience.
09/22/2012
PassionQT PassionQT
Sex in a relationship can go either way. If two partners are fairly inexperienced (as we were when we married), then once they do start to explore and come in to who they are sexually, the sex life may not improve. Now I said worse with time - for lack of a better choice - but that doesn't mean it's awful now or that we don't love each other any less. It's just not out of this world. Why? Throw in kids in to the equation, different sleep patterns, perhaps even discovering that sexually, you just like different things.
09/22/2012
jr2012 jr2012
after 8 years with my boyfriend....DEFINITEL Y better. Our experience may differ because we were both eachother's first time, so obviously those first times weren't all that great, and we both got better at sex in general.

The biggest difference, I think, is how comfortable I am now with him. I am generally a self-conscious person...but knowing that he loves me regardless of the number on the scale makes me so happy I'm having sex with him. I can truly let go.
09/22/2012
SavingMyself SavingMyself
For us it just keeps getting better with time.
09/22/2012
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Total posts: 40
Unique posters: 39