Should I ask my wife if she has any interest in a threesome or playing with another couple

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Should I ask my wife if she has any interest in a threesome or playing with another couple

extrafun extrafun
In the last 6 months my wife an I have really started trying new things in the bedroom. Im very interested in couples play or a threesome MFM or FMF. Im 90% sure my wife will not be interested in it, but she has gotten on line with me once to try and chat with another couple.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Should I ask her
bunny love , EJ , Ansley , pinkcupcakes , Ms. Spice , sktb0007 , padmeamidala , toxie m , AngelvMaynard , Yaoi Pervette (deleted) , Miss Nessa , PropertyOfPotter , RonLee , darthkitt3n , babychika , KinkBiLove , Peggi , mizzmilla , Stagger13 , (k)InkyIvy , unfulfilled , Baby-Baby , LowFreqFreak , OroNomi , SMichelle , Airen Wolf , MGDavicnigirl , C. W. Perry , Silverdrop , MeliPixie , potstickers , sexfairy , Cat E.
33  (69%)
Should I not ask her
Should I wait and see if it comes up in conversation
EdenG , KaraSutra , Gunsmoke , jakjak , MamaDivine , Badass , Hallmar82 , socceras , konicaguy , amazon
10  (21%)
Should I put it out of my mind, if it happens it happens.
Wildchild , mcl272 , married with children , slynch , Zombirella
5  (10%)
Total votes: 48
Poll is closed
08/20/2011
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Ansley Ansley
The worst that can happen is she says no. Be prepared to discuss things at length and to reassure her of her position in your life.
08/21/2011
Illusional Illusional
You can ask, but be prepared for her to feel insecure and concerned and upset if she's not into it.
08/21/2011
Wildchild Wildchild
I think the best thing to do is bring it up as a joke or something. Like my best freind and his wife had a threeway last night. Ask her what her thoughts are if she's quiet. If she says thats just wrong, well you just may have saved your sanity. Good Luck!
08/21/2011
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
i would sit her down and tell her you have a serious request, and tell her if no, that's ok. just express your desires and see what she has to say. it's important that both of you listen to each other and not to assume what the other is going to say
08/21/2011
sktb0007 sktb0007
I agree with the others, the worst that could happen is her say no
08/21/2011
EdenG EdenG
I would try to make conversation of it first before asking. See if she has any desire for a threesome. Perhaps it's a fantasy of hers, but perhaps it's just that, only a fantasy and not something she would want to ever engage in. If it is something she is against, even slightly, it would be inconsiderate to even request.

For me personally,if there are things I feel my partner should already know how I feel or believe on whatever the topic (based on prior conversations, etc.) I can get defensive if I feel a question is out of line and the usual attitude response on my part would be, "why would you even ask/say that?" and instant conflict, which is what you don't want.

Be gentle and respectful since it can be a sensitive topic. However, if she seems intrigued that's great. Then perhaps a few days or a week later you can be like "oh..ya know, I was thinking... remember when we talked about a threesome...well.." and go from there!
08/21/2011
AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
Like EdenG said, make it a fun casual conversation. Maybe tell each other a couple of fantasies and see where it goes from there. Make it more of a discussion rather than an out right request to start.
08/21/2011
Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
It never hurts to ask.
08/21/2011
Miss Nessa Miss Nessa
I feel it wouldn't hurt to ask. I don't see how it could effect you in any bad way. Besides, you never know she may be down for it.
08/21/2011
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
It doesn't hurt to ask, but be careful with how you do it, you don't want her to feel like she's not enough for you.
08/21/2011
KaraSutra KaraSutra
If you're 90% sure she won't be into it then it's a good idea to be very careful with how you ask. So long as she's not left feeling pressured, inadequate, confused, hurt or scared then it shouldn't be an issue. I'm going to assume that with you being married there is a level of trust within the relationship - as such that's something you won't want to toy with. I'd personally start the conversation by asking about her fantasys, things she might not have ever said to anyone before, then when the conversation is open and there isn't any tension bring up your fantasy. So long as she knows you're not looking to replace her or do it without her she shouldn't react too badly.
08/22/2011
KinkBiLove KinkBiLove
i say go for it. Come up with some pros to the situation and talk to her about them.
08/22/2011
mizzmilla mizzmilla
If it's something you want and won't be disappointed if she's not comfortable with it then go for it!
08/23/2011
MamaDivine MamaDivine
This is going to seriously depend on her confidence level.

1. Is she self concious about her body?

2. Has there ever been anything in her past that this type of play may trigger a bad feeling or uneasy feeling?

3. How secure are you both in your relationship?


I think that this sort of thing CAN (not always though) invite a lot of negativity into a relationship IF you're not secure with each other, your relationship or yourselves. If there has been ANY issue in the past, I would definitely leave it alone until it comes up in convo. Maybe try to sway the convo towards trying something like this, but don't suggest it.

Also, do you have anyone in particular in mind? If so, how comfortable is she with these people? Will she feel as though you like so-n-so better or maybe that you have underlying feelings for this person?

This is something that needs to be handled delicately, depending on your wife and your relationship.
02/06/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
Quote:
Originally posted by extrafun
In the last 6 months my wife an I have really started trying new things in the bedroom. Im very interested in couples play or a threesome MFM or FMF. Im 90% sure my wife will not be interested in it, but she has gotten on line with me once to try and ...
You know her best but I say forget it lol unless you know she wouldn't be offended. I would be pissed to be honest. But that is just me.
02/08/2012
(k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
Openness and communication are key. Ask her what her feelings are about it, whether she'd be open to the idea and whether she'd feel more comfortable with MFM or FMF.
There are many women who feel insecure at the idea of bringing another woman into the bedroom, probably because of fears that the male partner will feel more attracted to the new lover. Though, I'm sure that insecurity happens with males as well. Like I said, openness is key.
02/08/2012
unfulfilled unfulfilled
I'd like to know what you did since this is an old post.
02/08/2012
Baby-Baby Baby-Baby
Quote:
Originally posted by extrafun
In the last 6 months my wife an I have really started trying new things in the bedroom. Im very interested in couples play or a threesome MFM or FMF. Im 90% sure my wife will not be interested in it, but she has gotten on line with me once to try and ...
Ask away, You have nothing to loose.
02/08/2012
Badass Badass
See if it comes up, try not to pressure her..
02/08/2012
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by extrafun
In the last 6 months my wife an I have really started trying new things in the bedroom. Im very interested in couples play or a threesome MFM or FMF. Im 90% sure my wife will not be interested in it, but she has gotten on line with me once to try and ...
If it interests you then you should mention it but be prepared for the possibility that she will say no. You need to already know what your reaction will be to that answer. Is it a 'deal breaker' or just something you think might be fun? It is much more important how you handle a no that how you handle a yes....because after the initial shock, if you have remained positive and no threatening she might admit to being curious. Even then you should always be ready with what you will do if she balks. Is she worth it to never have this experience?
02/08/2012
Hallmar82 Hallmar82
There's a fine line between fantasy and reality. I would try to bring it up as part of an overall discussion of fantasies and see if it's hers. Most likely she has thought of threesomes before, but probably with two men just as often as two women. So, be prepared to talk about both with her if you talk about it at all.
02/08/2012
C. W. Perry C. W. Perry
Quote:
Originally posted by extrafun
In the last 6 months my wife an I have really started trying new things in the bedroom. Im very interested in couples play or a threesome MFM or FMF. Im 90% sure my wife will not be interested in it, but she has gotten on line with me once to try and ...
Does she enjoy watching MFM or FMF porn? I at first thought it was something I would never do, but I have done it both ways. I actually think I enjoyed FMF more....I know my husband did. It was a real turn on for me to see him with another woman going down on him. He however did not like seeing another man touching me in any way....maybe you need to make sure you can both deal with any jealousy issues that may arise.
02/15/2012
MeliPixie MeliPixie
There's only one way to find out. Seeing that she's been more open and receptive to new things, it might not bother her so much. Just make sure she knows she's still the focus of your life, and adding another partner (long term or just for a night) is just another thing to try and in no way means you love her less, or want her less.
02/15/2012
sexfairy sexfairy
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
The worst that can happen is she says no. Be prepared to discuss things at length and to reassure her of her position in your life.
I agree here
10/21/2012
Cat E. Cat E.
I don't see the harm in you asking her if she's interested.
10/21/2012
amazon amazon
Sure, see what her view on the topic is
10/21/2012
Total posts: 27
Unique posters: 27