Should i feel bad or apologize?

mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
Last night hub n i were making love, well it was more like fucking... He had already gotten his and normally once he cums, that it, weather or not i get mine, the love making is over. But this time i asked him if he could please make me cum. Im about to but he slides out. Which blew cuz i had to start over cuz the felling goes away. It happens again. I become frustrated but im still so freaking wet n horny and i wanna cum. Its been a while sinces he made me cum but i dont mind cause i can tickle my own pickle. so im frustrated cuz i know he wants to stop, i can feel him getting a little bit soft, and i wanna cum REALLY BAD WITH HIS DICK INSIDE ME. Like i said its been a very long time. So i grab a bullet (i was already masterbating prior to the sex, he got turned on hearing me so he jump at the chance) it was already next to me. He starts pounding my pussy, im rubbing my clit and i cum immediately.
He doesn't like my toys. I've tried talking to him about em and he chooses not to. Right after he looks sad, kinda disappointed. Should i feel bad or apologize for grabbing the toy knowing he doesn't like it, considering the circumstances? Should i say anything?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
yes you should fell bad. talk to him
2  (10%)
no. you were already handling your. don't feel bad
18  (86%)
other
1  (5%)
Total votes: 21
Poll is closed
07/25/2012
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Faeya Faeya
No apologies necessary in my opinion. He already knew you wanted to get off and wasn't all that helpful about it in my opinion.
07/26/2012
bayosgirl bayosgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Faeya
No apologies necessary in my opinion. He already knew you wanted to get off and wasn't all that helpful about it in my opinion.
What she said.
07/26/2012
unfulfilled unfulfilled
My husband always finishes before I do and he just can't help when he goes soft, that's why I have toys. He doesn't like the whole aspect of he's not able to make me orgasm, but he leaves the room and lets me finish myself off in peace. If I didn't have my toys I would never have experienced an orgasm. I didn't achieve clitoral orgasm until last year at 30 when I came here and picked up the Eroscillator Top Deluxe. Before that I never tried toys and never had an orgasm. I'm trying to find a toy right now for a vaginal orgasm, blended orgasm, or even g-spot orgasm because I haven't experienced those yet. Don't feel bad that you took care of your needs because sometimes a lady needs to orgasm too.
07/26/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by mrs.mckrakn
Last night hub n i were making love, well it was more like fucking... He had already gotten his and normally once he cums, that it, weather or not i get mine, the love making is over. But this time i asked him if he could please make me cum. Im about ... More
I think an apology IS in order.....from HIM to YOU. He is NOT being attentive to YOUR needs. I think you need to have a real heart to heart talk with this guy and maybe TEACH him to be a better lover. Obviously YOU want to make love to him...so TEACH him how to do it "right".

Best wishes.
07/26/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by unfulfilled
My husband always finishes before I do and he just can't help when he goes soft, that's why I have toys. He doesn't like the whole aspect of he's not able to make me orgasm, but he leaves the room and lets me finish myself off in ... More
Mr Bignuf...putting my 2 cents worth in."COME ON GUYS...STEP UP AND BE MEN". Even if I cum first (yes, it happens), my JOB, TASK, and indeed ENJOYMENT is not complete,till I make sure my love has cum ..once,twice, three times, or maybe till she screams "uncle" and yanks my hand, or tongue, off her clit (or stops whatever I am doing, since she can no longer catch her breath). THAT is when I am happy,satisfied and know I have been a good lover. TO just "jack off" inside her and stop???? That would be nuts. If you want to do that, go get a cheap plastic masturbation toy.
If you want to be a REAL "LOVER", then FINISH THE JOB, even if you have cum already and your penis goes soft, you cannot tell me that playing with your fingers in and on your lover, or kissing, licking and sucking on her beautiful "girlie parts" is not pure ecstasy!!! HAVE FUN..and "GET ER DONE"!!!!
07/26/2012
HB042 HB042
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
Mr Bignuf...putting my 2 cents worth in."COME ON GUYS...STEP UP AND BE MEN". Even if I cum first (yes, it happens), my JOB, TASK, and indeed ENJOYMENT is not complete,till I make sure my love has cum ..once,twice, three times, or maybe till ... More
High five, Mr. Bignuf!! That is my husband's stance as well.

mrs.mckrakn , Mr. Mcrakn should thank his lucky stars that he has a wife that wants to make the situation awesome for both of you. If toys are what it takes, then so be it. It sounds like he needs to become more familiar with them and understand that they're not replacing him. Talk to him, and suggest that maybe next time, he be the one in control of the toy.
07/26/2012
freshbananas freshbananas
Quote:
Originally posted by mrs.mckrakn
Last night hub n i were making love, well it was more like fucking... He had already gotten his and normally once he cums, that it, weather or not i get mine, the love making is over. But this time i asked him if he could please make me cum. Im about ... More
Some boys just need to sack up
07/26/2012
Itsnotabanana Itsnotabanana
He was being selfish, if he isn't going to take care of you like you're helping take care of him... my next move would have been to say okay, fine. I'll do it myself.
07/26/2012
HannahPanda HannahPanda
Man, that would just not work for me. Don't feel bad at all.
07/26/2012
Ilovelingerie Ilovelingerie
Quote:
Originally posted by mrs.mckrakn
Last night hub n i were making love, well it was more like fucking... He had already gotten his and normally once he cums, that it, weather or not i get mine, the love making is over. But this time i asked him if he could please make me cum. Im about ... More
Sadly men seem to be able to come faster then women... and it is harder for them to stay STIFF after they do so that means LESS FOR US.

Personally my man doesn't mind my toys at all, infact.. he loves to watch me use them. HOWEVER, I don't think I would grab a toy right after he had sex with me just because he was getting soft, I think it would embarrass him.


I think that, that would be like saying that he didn't do it for me, but thisd piece of plastic can, thats just my opinion. But I do get how it feels to not "get there" because the male partner has already gotten his and is now tired and soft... so I see why you did want to do it on your own, especially when you where so close.

I still might apologize though(even if not with words)... Just make sure you "show" him, that he is still your man and that he satisfys you.
07/26/2012
Ilovelingerie Ilovelingerie
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
Mr Bignuf...putting my 2 cents worth in."COME ON GUYS...STEP UP AND BE MEN". Even if I cum first (yes, it happens), my JOB, TASK, and indeed ENJOYMENT is not complete,till I make sure my love has cum ..once,twice, three times, or maybe till ... More
Forwarding to fiance....


07/26/2012
mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
Thank you guys so much. This is really helpful
07/26/2012
Mrs. Tickle and Giggle Mrs. Tickle and Giggle
Quote:
Originally posted by mrs.mckrakn
Last night hub n i were making love, well it was more like fucking... He had already gotten his and normally once he cums, that it, weather or not i get mine, the love making is over. But this time i asked him if he could please make me cum. Im about ... More
No apology needed. If any he owes the apology. If he know you want to get off then i feel like he should at least consider trying other things to help you achieve that.
07/27/2012
britanny0620 britanny0620
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
I think an apology IS in order.....from HIM to YOU. He is NOT being attentive to YOUR needs. I think you need to have a real heart to heart talk with this guy and maybe TEACH him to be a better lover. Obviously YOU want to make love to him...so TEACH ... More
Agreed
07/27/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
I agree he should apologize to you!

Since when is sex over just because the man comes? My Man and I do what we need to do, toys, finger, mouths etc and usually try really hard to get me to come first. Sometimes he doesn't even care if he comes. If he does come first, it would not occur to him to stop if I haven't gotten there yet and it's obvious I want to finish.

He's in his 50s and can't stay hard after he comes, but he still has hands, and a mouth, and he can hold toys!

Your husband can do MORE than just fuck you. He has hands, doesn't he? And a mouth? He can hold a dildo or a bullet or a vibrator?

If I live to be 100, I will never understand guys who rush to the finish line and still have immature issues about women's sex toys. They're selfish little bastards in my opinion.

Ask yourself this: Is his orgasm more important than yours? Ask HIM this. He should have a damn good answer and if he agrees that his IS more important, damn girl, you have some talking to do. (And maybe some walking to do.) Is he willing to do what it takes to keep you happy and maybe keep you home? Because that is the issue My Man would be dealing with if he didn't make sure I got to where I needed to be sexually. Happily he always does and always has. I wouldn't have married him if he didn't.
07/27/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by unfulfilled
My husband always finishes before I do and he just can't help when he goes soft, that's why I have toys. He doesn't like the whole aspect of he's not able to make me orgasm, but he leaves the room and lets me finish myself off in ... More
I'm so glad you learned to orgasm! I remember when you came here and hadn't yet. It's a great accomplishment! KUDOS!

I do need to ask, though. Isn't he happy that you can come, now? Has he changed what he does in bed to HELP now that it's obvious you are certainly capable of orgasm? Doesn't he want to share in that?

You may not be able to orgasm during PIV. So what? A lot of women can't. I can't if I haven't already had an orgasm from oral sex and toys first! But My Man always helps me, he plays with toys with me, he'll hold the toys and suggest different ones, he'll give me oral sex until I pass out, what ever it takes. Then, when I start to come, I drop the Wahl and he dive down and starts giving me head again and I have the most amazing orgasms ever. Doesn't your man want to be part of that? Even by just helping?

I'm glad you're coming now. I just wish he cared enough to stay in the same room. Again, as I asked Mrs.McCrakin, Does he think HIS orgasm is more important than yours? If so, how can he be dealt with? Does he understand it's nothing more than selfishness?

It just makes me sad to think of women alone in their bathrooms or the spare room of their home, using their vibrators alone, when a perfectly healthy man, who just got HIS orgasm from HER efforts sits in an other room and does NOTHING. It pisses me off, too.
07/27/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
Mr Bignuf...putting my 2 cents worth in."COME ON GUYS...STEP UP AND BE MEN". Even if I cum first (yes, it happens), my JOB, TASK, and indeed ENJOYMENT is not complete,till I make sure my love has cum ..once,twice, three times, or maybe till ... More
Damn right, Mr.B.

My husband endorses the same way of lovin'. He would never think of leaving the room when I'm horny. (He has on occasion fallen asleep. I'm not above waking him up and saying, "Hey, I'm not done. Get to work!" And he does.)

A real man finishes the job, soft or not. There's more than one way to get a woman to orgasm. If a man wants to keep his woman, he's best learn them all! And visa versa, I know at least a dozen ways to get My Man to come, maybe more. It's part of my job, as it is part of his to get me to come. Toys, finger, tongues, whatever, a real man doesn't QUIT when his partner isn't satisfied.

These men need to be talked to, if they don't want to talk about the issue, I know what I'd be doing.... I'd be stepping out. Seriously. Sex is too important to me to accept a partner who doesn't care about me and my responses. One of the reasons I married the man I did was his absolute dedication to making sure we were both satisfied with the sex we are having.

I'm going to stop talking now. But, this is one issue that just drives me to distraction. And a damn good illustration for why "test driving" one's partners before marriage is essential. Otherwise you'll spend the rest of your life in frustration and feeling justified resentment.
07/27/2012
SneakersAndPearls SneakersAndPearls
My hubs tries to hold off until I finish. Sometimes he can, sometimes he can't and that's ok.

I don't necessarily think an apology is in order, unless you think it will open the lines of communication. A talk about it, yes.
07/27/2012
Eliza Eliza
I think you need to talk to him and make sure he understand and respects your sexual needs.
07/27/2012
jfuz jfuz
Quote:
Originally posted by Eliza
I think you need to talk to him and make sure he understand and respects your sexual needs.
I agree
07/27/2012
AriaRN AriaRN
This is how my husband reacts to toys too. I think he feels like it takes away from his manhood or something. I just don't understand why a guy would rather you not finish than to use a toy to finish... doesn't seem fair to me!
07/29/2012
xgamerx xgamerx
I ALWAYS get my wife off. I feel bad if she doesn't get off. I tell her to get anything she needs to help, toys or whatever. Sometimes she doesn't get off with just me and she needs a little help and I'm cool with it. I'd say something to him about it. Ask him how he'd feel if you got off and didn't finish him off. If he says it wouldn't bother him, it's bullshit. Then do it to him to show him how it feels.
08/04/2012
babycakess babycakess
Quote:
Originally posted by Ilovelingerie
Sadly men seem to be able to come faster then women... and it is harder for them to stay STIFF after they do so that means LESS FOR US.

Personally my man doesn't mind my toys at all, infact.. he loves to watch me use them. HOWEVER, I ... More
She was already masturbating, he interrupted her, got his rocks off and then couldn't finish her off. I say he needs to get over himself. Something I definitely dislike is a man who's ego gets in the way of my orgasms.
08/05/2012
Rory Rory
I missed the poll but it sounds like you went the right route and there was no need for any apology!
08/10/2012
joelb42 joelb42
No need to apologize. I many times come before my wife. I try really hard to make sure that she is satisfied though. If I left her wanting more I would have no problem with her finishing off herself. He should really get over the toys you use. Really he should want you to be satisfied too.
08/18/2012
xocoraxo xocoraxo
Quote:
Originally posted by mrs.mckrakn
Last night hub n i were making love, well it was more like fucking... He had already gotten his and normally once he cums, that it, weather or not i get mine, the love making is over. But this time i asked him if he could please make me cum. Im about ... More
No! Don't feel bad. You should be able to cum to!

Taboo Whispers
01/05/2013
Kiss Kiss
Wow, how lucky I am to have a man who makes sure I come first!
01/05/2013
cowgirl1130 cowgirl1130
not at all
01/17/2013
libbyv libbyv
Quote:
Originally posted by mrs.mckrakn
Last night hub n i were making love, well it was more like fucking... He had already gotten his and normally once he cums, that it, weather or not i get mine, the love making is over. But this time i asked him if he could please make me cum. Im about ... More
i don't think so
02/09/2013
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