I have an unwilling partner...

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I have an unwilling partner...

Mrs. Tickle and Giggle Mrs. Tickle and Giggle
What are some ways that you brung your unwilling partner around to the toys side. I have a relative who significant other is totally not even willing to consider the option. What are some ideas that he can use to maybe sway her a little? What has worked for you?
06/23/2012
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Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I'd say guaranteed orgasms - often multiple orgasms. As a man ages he'll have trouble staying hard for long periods of time - sex toys are the modern day 'mamas little helpers'.

Finding that I could give her an orgasm before I even got started took a lot of pressure off both of us. It freed me from worrying about it - and freed her up to enjoy multiple orgasms.

After x number of years married - sex goes from an 'emotional affirmation' to simple play time. When we have sex we're just looking to have fun together - what a relief that is for both of us - no anxiety, just plenty of panting and a few laughs.
06/24/2012
Mrs. Tickle and Giggle Mrs. Tickle and Giggle
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
I'd say guaranteed orgasms - often multiple orgasms. As a man ages he'll have trouble staying hard for long periods of time - sex toys are the modern day 'mamas little helpers'.

Finding that I could give her an orgasm before I ...
See thats the funny part, they are young.... 20's and she is just UNWILLING. He has even asked us to chat with her "casually" about the toys we use and how we got into it. Even then though she is like no, I only want the real thing, and I can't see how something not real is enjoyable, or just always something.
06/28/2012
Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by Mrs. Tickle and Giggle
See thats the funny part, they are young.... 20's and she is just UNWILLING. He has even asked us to chat with her "casually" about the toys we use and how we got into it. Even then though she is like no, I only want the real thing, and ...
It sounds like she's viewing the toys as a replacement, rather than as an enhancement.

What type of toys has he talked about with her? She might be more open-minded if he starts with non-penetrable items like a clitoral vibrator or something that he wears, like a vibrating cock ring.
06/28/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
I'd say guaranteed orgasms - often multiple orgasms. As a man ages he'll have trouble staying hard for long periods of time - sex toys are the modern day 'mamas little helpers'.

Finding that I could give her an orgasm before I ...
I couldn't have put it better myself. I agree completely. (I think Gunsmoke and his Lady's relationship is a LOT like my relationship with My Man, I've thought so since I joined Eden.)

My Man often says, "The Spirit is willing, but the Flesh is weak." Meaning, he tries, but can't always stay hard throughout even an hour of sex, not to mention some of the 2-3 hour marathons we sometimes have. (But, damn, it does help make those marathons happen. Part of the fun is getting him hard again and again!) My Man has learned that he can really make me feel good with oral along with a dildo or phallic shaped vibrator (usually turned off, he'll turn it on, and I want it off because I want the penetration, but I want to feel what he's doing) Then, as I've had some orgasmic difficulties recently, we'll switch to a high powered vibrator/ massager like the Wahl or the Hitachi so I can Come for the first time, then..... we play! It's taken a lot of pressure off of him to constantly "perform" with a continual erection, and it takes pressure off me to have to "get to" that first orgasm. (I tend to be able to have multiples easily once that first orgasm is out of the way.)

We also will often use a dildo or insertable vibrator while I'm giving him head, so he can get off, then move to PIV, then, if we both feel like it, use the insertable again vaginally, so we can finish with anal sex. Or we'll finish with oral (not after anal, unless we both clean up well) or PIV, or a hand job. Or sometimes even after a long fun marathon at night, he'll be exhausted and put off his orgasm until morning. Then we both have more lovin' to look forward to. This "sex is stages" is something that works really great for us. Even if it means sleeping and then picking up again later.
06/28/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Mrs. Tickle and Giggle
See thats the funny part, they are young.... 20's and she is just UNWILLING. He has even asked us to chat with her "casually" about the toys we use and how we got into it. Even then though she is like no, I only want the real thing, and ...
You can't "make" someone change their mind. But, it does sound like he's thinking the dildo or vibrator will replace him. I can assure her, it shouldn't.

Wait.... I'm re-reading you post and it's the woman who doesn't want to use toys? Well, you can't force her. Does her partner want to use them? I'm confused.

I was actually opposed to sex toys for years. Yep. You read that right. I was all, "I only want flesh." I was being narrow minded and a little prudish. I had a sexual re-awakening about 4 or so years ago, and realized that sex could be FUN all the time again. My Man introduced toys into our sex life, and we used them, then we discovered anal play and anal sex, we continue to play around with Power Dynamic (meaning playing with stuff like consensual rough stuff, BDSM etc).... and it just keeps growing. It doesn't mean we do all this every time we have sex, just when we feel like it.

Sex is dynamic. It needs to evolve and grow in order for the relationship to grow.

But, you can't make her want to use toys if she doesn't want to.

Would she be opposed to coming over to Edenfantasys and at least reading the Discussion board? It could be an eye opener for her. There are a LOT of people here in there late teens and 20s who play with sex toys.
06/28/2012
Mrs. Tickle and Giggle Mrs. Tickle and Giggle
Quote:
Originally posted by Petite Valentine
It sounds like she's viewing the toys as a replacement, rather than as an enhancement.

What type of toys has he talked about with her? She might be more open-minded if he starts with non-penetrable items like a clitoral vibrator or ...
IT WORKED!!!! The went went something no penetrable and she was a lot more willing. Moved really fast and know the are on to vibrators. We gave them one for there anniversary and from what we hear it went GREAT!!!!! Happy sex life means she wont be such a "wonderful inlaw" all the time. I knew you guys could help.
07/06/2012
Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by Mrs. Tickle and Giggle
IT WORKED!!!! The went went something no penetrable and she was a lot more willing. Moved really fast and know the are on to vibrators. We gave them one for there anniversary and from what we hear it went GREAT!!!!! Happy sex life means she wont be ...
I just saw this — fantastic! Amazing what a little communication and compromise can accomplish, isn't it?
07/22/2012
Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by Mrs. Tickle and Giggle
IT WORKED!!!! The went went something no penetrable and she was a lot more willing. Moved really fast and know the are on to vibrators. We gave them one for there anniversary and from what we hear it went GREAT!!!!! Happy sex life means she wont be ...
Double post. Whoops.
07/22/2012
Total posts: 9
Unique posters: 4