Originally posted by
I don't think it matters. It means very little to me. I actually hate the concept of virginity.
I think "virginity" is an artificial construct that penalizes women, makes people think sex is something a woman "gives" and a man "takes" (when it is really sharing
whoever you are having sex with) and leaves people who do not engage in heterosexual sex out in the cold.
My Man was certainly not a virgin when we met. I would have thought he was a bit odd if he was (he was older than I was and at an age where most men have had partners) It made no difference to him that I was a virgin, and I was glad to shed the "virgin" title. I had sex with other men, when we had an open relationship, because I didn't want him to be the only man I had ever been with. I, too, was attracted to other men, and was fairly young (about 16 or 17, when we went Open) and I didn't want to maybe end up dedicating my life to him
and wake up one morning at 30 or 35 and thinking, "OMG, what did I do? What are other men like?" It only strengthened our relationship and made it easier to commit entirely to each other. That doesn't mean we'll never Open the relationship again, but I am completely dedicated to him. In part because I KNOW he is the best lover ever.
He also, did not want me to only have had one lover. This (the Open Relationship and both of us having other lovers) was one of the best decisions we ever made relating to our sex life and our relationship. I KNOW he's the best, and he KNOWS I am. Only because we not only had sex with each other before committing, but because we both had sex with others.
I think the entire concept of "virginity" should go the way of "First Night" rituals and be gone from our society. It's artificial, it hurts women and it's.... bullshit.