What makes your marriage last?

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What makes your marriage last?

Chevylady37 Chevylady37
Some people have told me theirs has lasted so long becuz they have stuck around for the kids. Besides that what has made yours last?
01/18/2011
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Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by Chevylady37
Some people have told me theirs has lasted so long becuz they have stuck around for the kids. Besides that what has made yours last?
We have been married 17 years. Our "marriage" has very little if anything to do with our child. Our child is simply a product of the marriage. Our marriage is strictly between my husband and I and the relationship the two of us have nurtured. The bond we share has been formed through years of honest communication, willingness to accept each other for who we are (faults and all) without trying to change each other, and trust in the love that we share. For us, the trick is to always put each other first, to honor each other. I feel as if I am always on a pedestal in his mind and I try to keep him on a pedestal too. He is my Prince, my rock, my lover, my partner, and my very best friend. I can honestly say, he feels the exact same way about me.
01/18/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
We have been married 17 years. Our "marriage" has very little if anything to do with our child. Our child is simply a product of the marriage. Our marriage is strictly between my husband and I and the relationship the two of us have ...
What Redboxbaby said is right on.

Kids are great - we love'm, but have always referred to them lovingly as 'visitors'. Our relationship is the #1 priority - it will be strong after the kidos are gone.

For us the key is unquestioned trust - always knowing that the other would rather make you feel good - than to be the recipient. BTW - we're on #22.
01/18/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
What Redboxbaby said is right on.

Kids are great - we love'm, but have always referred to them lovingly as 'visitors'. Our relationship is the #1 priority - it will be strong after the kidos are gone.

For us the key is ...
So I told my son today that he was, 'just a visitor in this house anyway'. The look I got was priceless. That is great. I am stealing that one!
01/18/2011
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Commitment and communication.
01/18/2011
IrishLassie IrishLassie
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
Commitment and communication.
i agree with you 100%.

people are saying some really good things. I have only been married for 3 years and no kids, but we have gone through a lot already in these few years. But marriage is work. It takes work. And people dont to realize that its not easy. Marriage takes more than love. It takes commitment. Because you have to say to yourself that Im going to stand by this person NOT MATTER what! Learning how to communicate with each other and recognize that everyone has a different communication style. Utter trust and unconditional love.

I learned, women thrive on love and men thrive on respect. When I respect my husband, not be a door mat, because thats not what Im saying, but when I respect my husband he loves me! And I disrepect him, he is not going to be as loving. And some thing goes when he starts ignoring me or putting other things in his life before me, I tend to not be as respectful. because when you are in a commited relationship, your #1 priority is that other person.

I cannot really say anything about making the marriage last with kids, as we dont have any at the time. Do dogs count?? hehe. Since I dont have any, I like hearing how other couples are married and how you make it with kids.
01/18/2011
ScottA ScottA
A commitment to be there for the other person and put their needs/desires at least at the same level as yours.
01/18/2011
Fun Lover Fun Lover
Commitment and compromise I made a vow to live by, it has its ups and downs, but like a job you have to work at it to make it last. My wife is the best and I wouldn't trade her for anybody, we have been at it for 37 years and sex is better now than it was in year one.
01/19/2011
Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
Well I just stuck around for his big dxxx...

Ok ok, just joking! Things have gotten rough from time to time, but some of the things that keep us together are:

1. We're really into each other and we have a lot of fun together. I dislike spouting out the "L" word, but it does apply here and it's my #1 answer.
2. We have great communication and a knack for reaching compromises together, even when it takes us a little while to get there.
3. We both know how to let an issue go that isn't worth arguing over. We "banter" over trivial things but are very careful about what we let turn into a true argument. And when we *do* argue, we only let things go so far before we agree to back out and give each other space so we can cool down before trying to solve anything.

Raising our child was an adventure that we undertook together, and a shared accomplishment once he was grown. It wasn't the "glue" in the relationship though.
01/19/2011
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
LMAO at your first line!
01/19/2011
IrishLassie IrishLassie
Quote:
Originally posted by Alan & Michele
Well I just stuck around for his big dxxx...

Ok ok, just joking! Things have gotten rough from time to time, but some of the things that keep us together are:

1. We're really into each other and we have a lot of fun together. I ...
Haha. I LOVE your first line! My husband is telling me the only reason I continue to stick around is because of the sex. To which I reply, "yeah that's a big part of it" hehe. But I agree with the rest of what you said. Very true
01/19/2011
mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
were newbies comparied to the others. but what were doin seems to be working otu for us. we try not to stay mad at eachothers. so not worth our energy. and when were mad, we talk about it before it goes any further. we have fun being around eachother. we constently laughing and share a hobbie.
01/19/2011
GeekWife GeekWife
I literally married my best friend, cliched as that may sound. We were friends for years before we actually decided we loved each other. At the end of the day, it's just like I'm living with a buddy who likes to do the same things I do, has a similar sense of humor, has an amazing history with me, and just knows everything about me and adores me in spite of it all. And our son is just a lovely bonus out of the whole thing.
01/19/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
It's funny because My Mr and I are kind of opposites. He's very introverted and I'm quite extroverted. We've gone through some difficult times and I'd like to say that we chose to stick together despite the children, but at the time of making the decision to work it out or call it quits, our children were the biggest reason we stuck it out.

I italicized "work it out" because while we decided that we didn't want to separate in large parts, because of our children, we also decided that just "toughing it out and dealing with each other" wasn't the way to go. We either repaired our marriage, or separated (despite the children). We worked it all out. While a good chunk of our relationship is being parents (as we have such young children), our marriage is much deeper and it will be what keeps us together AFTER the kids go.
01/19/2011
Hallmar82 Hallmar82
I did marry my best friend. Unfortunately, we hit some really hard times a couple of years ago. We stayed together because marriage isn't always about your happiness. Marriage is also a commitment to living and growing together. Personally, if I didn't have my faith, I wouldn't be married right now. Thankfully, by working through our problems with patience and kindness, we were able to stay together. Now, my wife loves me more today than she ever has...
01/21/2011
Total posts: 15
Unique posters: 13