wife changes her mind about threesome

j765432 j765432
My wife and I have been married 7 years been together 12 in the last five years or so I have asked for a MFF threesome a few times the first time she got weird about it but agreed we went through the steps found someone then my wife backed out before it could happen I was cool with it and moved on recently she brought it up and I said I would still like to try it and we talked about it she got mad but agreed until I told her what I wanted she got mad at me again so we talked some more and she agreed again she would try it but only with 1 specific person because she trusts her the specific person says no now my wife says no IM TIRED OF BEING TEASED PLEASE HELP. I feel like its been 3 different occasions I've been shot down and she always kind of put the idea out there and then wants to make me feel bad for wanting to do it I've offered her any of her fantasy's I feel like I have to be willing to give to receive but it doesn't help I give her what she wants and then im left still waiting WHAT TO DO
Mar 7, 8:54 am
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PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Go back and read what you wrote. It's clear as day, she doesn't truly want to do it. She might have moments where she feels like it would be okay (probably just as a way of pleasing you), but the more she thinks about it, the harder it might be for her to emotionally handle. In a fantasy world, the idea of a threesome is safe, sexy, and fun. But in reality, I could NEVER share my husband with another person. I know it's something that really interests you, but you also have to think about how it will effect your marriage and your wife if you were to go through it. Perhaps you could purchase one of those masturbators from Pipedream that are a full torso and act out a scene using something like that. Either way, it sounds like it's something you should keep a fantasy. If she's insecure about it and you're not respecting her desires, it could have a seriously negative impact on your relationship.
Mar 7, 11:36 am
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
Go back and read what you wrote. It's clear as day, she doesn't truly want to do it. She might have moments where she feels like it would be okay (probably just as a way of pleasing you), but the more she thinks about it, the harder it ... More
Great answer PoP!! I completely agree, all this waffling is a bad sign and means she is NOT comfortable with it. I am sure she wants to please you and that's a strong urge, but unless she had been on board fully and enthusiastically, I would never jeopardize a good marriage on something like this. Even with all the talking and preparation ahead of time, things you never expected will crop up. Sometimes just seeing it happen in real life is enough to bring out emotions you never expected, such as jealousy and insecurity. And that's from people who went into it with no qualms at all. Can you imagine the toll it could have on someone who was even slightly unsure? Ask yourself how important living out this particular fantasy is to you. Which is more important: trying this, or keeping your marriage? because unless you are as sure as you could possibly be that it would not hurt your marriage, I can't imagine it would be worth the gamble (especially when she has already backed out before. And I don't think she has any intention of teasing you, this is someone trying so hard to put your desires first that she is trying to convince herself it won't be so bad.
Mar 7, 9:47 pm
Lioncub Lioncub
As a swinger I can't tell you how many times we have ran across this. She likes the idea of it as a fantasy but simply cannot go through with it.
Mar 7, 9:52 pm
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by j765432
My wife and I have been married 7 years been together 12 in the last five years or so I have asked for a MFF threesome a few times the first time she got weird about it but agreed we went through the steps found someone then my wife backed out before ... More
Okay, while I know some people enjoy threesomes, foursomes and tensomes and it "works" for them, all I can say is that from what we have seen in life, including talking to people we know personally, who have "tried these things", some ideas are best left in the realm of fantasy (in the mind) and never taken to the real world. Bringing another person into your bed, unless both parties are 100% thinking this is the best thing ever (and maybe even then) is a formula for disaster. We personally know two couples who divorced over this very thing. jealousy, resentment and all kinds of issues will be thrown in your face, at every opportunity in the future. Our suggestion? Get some kind of "sex doll" or "body part simulator" and play with that. No one's feelings get hurt (or at least not as much). Either way, it is safer then playing with the fire that are peoples emotions. Good luck.
Mar 8, 10:47 am
SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
Okay, while I know some people enjoy threesomes, foursomes and tensomes and it "works" for them, all I can say is that from what we have seen in life, including talking to people we know personally, who have "tried these things", ... More
I am going to agree with you. Many a relationship has been ruined due to participating in such an act. Sometimes people are so caught up in the fantasy of it all that they don't actually take the time to think and discuss the reality of it.

A successful three way (or moresome) takes conversations between all parties involved. Not only do "rules" need to be clearly laid out and followed but every possible emotional and psychological impact should be discussed in full. Basically before the parties involved do it they need to make sure that they are all on the same page.

A person should never indulge their partners fantasy because they feel like they should, instead they should do so because they themselves want to.
Mar 9, 12:21 pm
Oriental husband and wife Oriental husband and wife
Quote:
Originally posted by j765432
My wife and I have been married 7 years been together 12 in the last five years or so I have asked for a MFF threesome a few times the first time she got weird about it but agreed we went through the steps found someone then my wife backed out before ... More
So far all the replies are unanimous. I think you are more interested in having the threesome than her. I agree with the others. I would not force not encourage my wife to indulge in something she did not want really really want to. If she is teasing you, enjoy that fantasy for now. If it leads to a hot session I would be happy with that.
Mar 9, 2:19 pm
Cream in the Cupcake Cream in the Cupcake
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
Go back and read what you wrote. It's clear as day, she doesn't truly want to do it. She might have moments where she feels like it would be okay (probably just as a way of pleasing you), but the more she thinks about it, the harder it ... More
Exactly! I honestly feel slightly bad for her. I know there are many relationships where threesomes work out, but she's not comfortable with it. For me personally, I would claw the girls eyes out if I we're put in a situation where I had to watch my man get pleasured by another women. But that's me. Imagine how she feels... Knowing you want someone else so badly. I would burst out in tears. Women have a hard enough time competing with everything else out there, they want to feel like they're all you want. (Now I don't mean all women, and this is my opinion) but our confidence can be crushed easily. The emotions involved are just too strong, I know I personally couldn't handle it.
Mar 15, 9:47 pm
werewolf werewolf
Personally, my partner and I have had threesomes but we spent a loooot of time talking about it and establishing boundaries - thinking about how we would feel about seeing the other kiss another person, go down on another person etc.

That being said, if you did go ahead with a threesome and she wasn't into it, you'd have to deal with a lot of drama afterwards, which could potentially end the relationship.

Unfortunately sometimes partners just aren't always on board with each others' kinks - I'd love for my partner to be into pegging, but it just doesn't float his boat.
May 10, 6:19 pm
Bihubby Bihubby
Quote:
Originally posted by j765432
My wife and I have been married 7 years been together 12 in the last five years or so I have asked for a MFF threesome a few times the first time she got weird about it but agreed we went through the steps found someone then my wife backed out before ... More
You just need to respect her wishes and drop it. She is obviously not comfortable with it or she would do it for you. If you force the issue and she does go through with it while she is uncomfortable it is highly unlikely it will be an enjoyable experience and it could destroy your marriage. So the real question is do you want your marriage or your fantasy?
Jun 21, 6:53 am
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Bihubby
You just need to respect her wishes and drop it. She is obviously not comfortable with it or she would do it for you. If you force the issue and she does go through with it while she is uncomfortable it is highly unlikely it will be an enjoyable ... More
Very well said.
Jun 21, 2:28 pm
Pete's Princess Pete's Princess
Once you open that box you never know what you are going to get. I knew one couple that tried this and the wife and lady friend found that neither really needed him. That was not the way he wanted his hot threesome to end.

I love my husband too much to share him and I am very glad that he loves me too much to want to share me.
Jun 24, 7:53 pm
Total posts: 12
Unique posters: 11